Last Sunday, I had the pleasure of attending a wonderful networking event called Bosses Who Brunch. I was able to catch part 2 Plot.Plan. Execute. of this 3 part series. At the event I got to meet some really cool women who are entrepreneurs like myself trying to turn their dreams into reality. I bought my ticket for $25 last minute (2 days before the event) and I’m so glad I just spontaneously made the move to act on it because the energy at the Bosses Who Brunch event hosted by Mariah Darsha was a breath of fresh of air. I was definitely inspired to keep pushing and stick with my online business even amid Covid.
The ambiance of Bosses Who Brunch was set by Skova. They created a ultra hip picnic vibe with their beautiful travel blankets and tapestry. Our delicious lunch was catered by The Fast Food Company owned by a black female chef named Chef K and drinks were provided by Suja and Babe Kamboucha. We snacked on delicious treats from The Butter Cream Parlor as we shared real life experiences and how to move forward in our business in case social media ever shuts down. I learned how crucial it is to have a subscription email and use other platforms to market on as well have a support group to be able to share ideas, share knowledge and even share your struggles.
As entrepreneurs no one understands our daily struggles like other entrepreneurs and to have a space where we can come together and collaborate with no hate is awesome. Queens uplifting queens is what I stand for so these type of events are right up my alley. To have the opportunity to make my business more visible while also putting myself out there for more business opportunities is something that I’m focused on this upcoming year. I’m praying for abundance in this next season.
My goal is for my brand to have more omnipresence. Omnipresence basically means to be well known. I want my brand Moody Babe Lashes to be everywhere. I am manifesting it to be the first brand that pops up in your head when you think lashes. In order to have omnipresence and grow my business I’ve committed to doing more networking events and pop up events so that people know I exist.
It’s one thing to have an idea and another thing to make it come to life. My vision is to see my company become popular and prosperous. In order for that to happen I’m in the trenches doing the leg work. Planting the seeds for my future success. This grind is personal and it’s all hustle and no luck. No loans! No handouts! Just focused on my family and success. I’m manifesting that in 3-5 years Moody Babe Lashes will have a write up in Vogue, will have 1 million followers, and be in some of your favorite major stores.
The one thing I took from this brunch is that women can collectively come together and root for each other whether we’re in the same business or not. We can share information and get inspired to do the exact same thing but because we’re all different all our sauces will taste different but different is what makes us each unique. Different is a good thing because it sets us apart.
I love creating these types of events as well as attending them. If you are currently in business you know that networking is essential. After all, linking up with likeminded people is always a good idea. For those interested the next one, part 3 The Over Coming is Oct. 11, 2020 hurry up before they sell out because spaces are limited. Get rid of any self imposed barriers you have and start networking strategically. This will help you business grow and create avenues for new business opportunities.
So you’ve found your niche and your ready to take your brand or service to the next level. Your ready to start a legitimate business. You’ve done your research and LLC is the way you want to go to protect your business. A limited liability company makes your business a company. It also limits an owner’s personal liability for business debts and lawsuits and offers flexibility when it comes to ownership, management and taxation of the business.
Before filing my LLC in California I had to decide if I wanted my business to be public or private because in California your business is public record, meaning anyone can find out who owns your business. Since I’m very proud of my business that wasn’t a big issue for me but if your looking to be anonymous stay away from a LLC in California.
How Do I Form an LLC in California?
You have two options use legal zoom a one stop shop or if your brave enough file yourself. Legal zoom takes the guess work out of everything while filing yourself is easy and doable if your know the steps and are prepared to pay the minimum $800 LLC tax. $800 sounds like a lot but you don’t have to pay it right away when filling your LLC. You have until the 15th day of the 4th month after the day you file with the Secretary of State to pay so that means once you finish your LLC it’s go time. Time to get your hustle on to make that money back.
If money is an issue and your just getting off the ground with your business the good news for all my future entrepreneurs is that Gov. Gavin Newsome just passed a bill that states anyone who files an LLC from 2021-2023 the $800 fee is be waived. So I recommend just waiting a few months and further developing your business plan until 2021. This time right now couldn’t be more perfect to level up. I wish I had the opportunity to have my first years fees waived so take advantage of this opportunity because I hear California is the most expensive state to start a business in.
First Step: Name your LLC
Figure our what name you want to operate your business under. You use Business Search to check that your name isn’t already in use. Then, check google to make sure the url is available. You may not be ready for a website just yet but if you feel like eventually that you’ll require one secure your domain name at the same time while filing your LLC so that way it’s yours for future use. Most people don’t know this even I was green to this but people buy up random domain names in hopes they can up charge anyone who is looking to buy it. They literally just sit on it and don’t use it. They just want to make a profit of your need or want for that specific domain name.
Second Step: Choose a Registered Agent
You or any one you know can be your Registered Agent or you can hire a company to act as one. All a registered agent does is make sure that you receive all your legal documents in case a lawsuit is ever brought against you. This is why it should be someone you trust will give you your important documents in a timely manner. I used my mom for mine and my husband has me as his for his business.
Third Step: Register your LLC with the Secretary of State.
You will need to pay two filing fees to form an LLC in California. A $70 fee to file Articles of Organization with The California Secretary of State’s office. It typically takes 3-5 business days for the state to approve your California LLC.
Pay the second fee of $20 to file a statement of information, Form LLC-12. You have to file this within 90 days of forming your LLC.
Fifth Step: Create an Operating Agreement.
There are a bunch of free operating agreement templates online. An operating agreement basically outlines your business and how it will operate. Once you’ve made one follow the agreement.
Sixth Step: Apply for your EIN.
An EIN is a Employer Identification Number also known as a Tax Id used by the IRS to identify businesses and individuals for tax purposes. You can request this for FREE from the IRS. You need an EIN to open up a business bank account, for federal and state tax purposes and to hire employees.
Seventh Step: Open up a bank account for your business.
A business bank account will separate your personal assets from your company’s and make filing your taxes easier.
Eighth Step: Register with the Franchise Tax Board.
Starting a business has many challenges hopefully from ready this post starting a LLC is no longer one of them. The whole process can be intimidating but once you’ve got your LLC you are officially a women owned business. Now you need to start acting like one and signing all important documents on behalf of your LLC.
As a reminder make sure that you stay on top of your taxes because they will charge you a penalty for non payment and late payment. You could even lose your company, it’s name and identity to someone else when it gets suspended by the Franchise Tax Board. The fees associated with the LLC are ongoing and need to be paid every 1 or two years to keep your LLC compliant and in good standing. You’ve worked to hard to build your company you must be protected! Make getting your LLC a priority.
Upgrade your thinking and manifest how large your company will be and how these startup cost will will be peanuts compared to the amount of money you’re about to touch. Stay positive, stay focused and stay consistent your business will flourish. You just need to believe in yourself. The difference between the unsuccessful and the successful is successful people take chances and try even if that means they fail. Don’t be afraid of failure. Eventually you’ll find your rhythm and when you do it’s nothing but up from there.
Since I like to do ratchet shit with classy people the title rachlorette fits my personality. If you know me you already know. I hardly get out but when I do I cut up! That’s a fact. My motto is work hard, play even harder. So Las Vegas was the ideal backdrop for my rachlorette so I could let loose one more time (because it definitely won’t be the last) before I walk down that aisle. Plus, unlike San Diego it’s more open and they don’t have a 10 pm curfew.
Here’s how it started:
Hopped off the plane and my girl Ashley greeted me with this hilarious sign. It was so funny. I’m not sure my fiancé would think it was to funny though. Lol. Like they say what happen in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas shhhhhhh.
I threw my luggage in the trunk and knew the weekend was about to be lit. I was thrilled to touchdown but hungry so we stopped at Tacotarian, a popular vegan restaurant. Everything was delicious. If you’re ever in the area I highly recommend. My tacos were light yet satisfying and the guacamole was so good. Although, they don’t use any meat the authentic Mexican flavors are still there. It doesn’t feel like you’re not eating meat at all because it’s fillings are hearty and fulfilling.
After that we got in the Benz and made our way to the liquor store. It was officially time to turn up. We bought lots of liquor and champagne to stay hydrated the whole weekend *wink*. My friend even splurged on a bottle of Dom Perignon so we could live our best boujee life. Ashley made sure everything was top of the line for your girl because she stressed the entire time which I’m so glad she did that you only have this experience once. I can say I will never forget this weekend because of mostly her.
The whole weekend was loosely planned and perfect. I did a lot of firsts with my bridesmaids that weekend. I got to stay in a suite at the Cosmopolitan facing the Bellagio and every night I could watch the water show from my balcony. It was so dope. My friend who booked the room was disappointed by the size but it had great space for just us and the view of the strip was breathtaking. I could only hope that every time I stayed in Las Vegas I’d get a room this close to the strip with an amazing view.
The trip was a spare of the moment trip so unfortunately not all my bridal party could make it but I still had fun. On the first night they had @krissyonthebeat come to our room and do my makeup. Krissy is one of the best MUA’s in Las Vegas. She has even done makeup for Cardi B. She had your girl looking so dam fine. I’ll let her beat my face anytime. She is very talented and super sweet to work with.
I later was surprised with a dinner at the award winning, Top of the World, located in the Stratoshere. I’ve been dying to try that restaurant for years. I’ve made reservations several times and had to cancel them every time and because my friends knew this they decided to finally make Las Vegas bucket list dream come true. I love them for that.
Top of the World is a contemporary restaurant in the 106 floor that rotates and gives an eating experience like no other with its 360 degree view. As you eat and drink you can see the entire strip and all the captivating lights from 800 feet up. It moves slowly and takes about an hour for to it make a complete circle. The food was only aight but the view and ambiance was spectacular. Perfect for such a special occasion.
The next day we went to the pool at the Cosmopolitan and crashed a birthday party. We met some guys from Philadelphia and kicked it with them in their cabana. We ate and drank until we couldn’t handle it. Then we some how managed to make it to dinner and then to the Chandelier Club. We pretty much just winged it and had a great time.
The only party foul is that some girl tried to convert me to the other side. I’m not sure if it was because I had rainbow slides on in the casino but she was persistent although I kept telling her I’m straight. She was not playing about me. She was on me to tough and it was annoying. Luckily, the night turned around and we ended the night with drunk karaoke with some friends we met.
We woke up got drunk and went to breakfast. At breakfast while trying to check in my flight my dumb ass realized I booked my return flight for a different day. My mind had been so overloaded with wedding planning I booked my return flight for Oct. 25, my wedding day, who dies that? Thank God my sisters were driving back to Los Angeles so I was able to hitch a ride with them. Then, I booked a rental at LAX and drove 2 hours to San Diego. I definitely fucked up majorly but I didn’t have time to dwell on it.
I survived. I had fun. I almost got stranded but figured that shit out. All in all, Covid did not spoil my bachelorette weekend. I still had a wonderful time with my beautiful friends who put a lot of effort in ensuring I had a great weekend. We turned up, looked great and enjoyed lots of fine dining.
Getting married is full of festivities and let me tell you I’ve been heavily indulging in all of it. From having a wild bachelorette party in Las Vegas that I jokingly named my “rachelorette”, to an intimate Bride and Bougie Bridal Shower in my mom’s backyard. I seriously can’t thank my amazing friends for sparing no expense and making sure these moments were absolutely perfect. My I Do Squad definitely out did themselves and I am forever grateful to have them by my side during this stressful but fun time. I look forward to married life and more milestones with the most incredible friends.
This year really opened my eyes to the type of friends I have. I realize that my friends are my framily and I’m such a lucky gal to have real genuine friendships. Friendship that I know aren’t fake or phony but reciprocated with love and appreciation. I’m super happy in love and in life. I don’t think I could have picked a better bridal party. My ladies are rock solid and absolutely the best. I can not complain about a single thing. They’ve made this wedding experience even memorable.
I think they are just as excited as me for me to be getting married which makes me feel good about turning this next chapter in my life. Knowing that I have supportive friends in my corner means the world to me and my fiancé. Some I’ve know decades and others I know for a few year but are just so close to me you’d never know that this was the beginning of our friendship. Either way I’ve learned loyalty is the most determining factor for friendship no matter what length of time you’ve known someone. Loyalty means everything to me and if your loyal I’m loyal back.
I know that you all have noticed I haven’t posted in a while and it’s because I’ve been trying to be present and just soak in this time. I plan to get married one time and one time only and with that said, I’m just taking in everything and how special this time really is. It’s monumental. I’ll soon be embarking into married life territory and all that it has to offer. Surprisingly, I’m not even scared or nervous I’m a 1000% sure that I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be in life. I’m living in my over flow and walking in my purpose. I have zero doubts about becoming Mrs. Martin.
While I enjoy these last few days of being a single women I won’t be posting as much still but when I return from my honeymoon in Cancun I promise I will fill you in on everything. A lot has changed since my last post but Boss Mommy Blog is still my very much a passion of mines. I love empowering my Boss Mommy tribe and reassuring ya’ll that you can do whatever it is you want with your life. Mom isn’t the only title you can hold. It may be the most highest title you can have but you can wear several crowns and be the queen of anything your heart desires.
When I come back I will be over sharing everything.
Moody Babe Lashes is up and running! Girl, stop playing and cop you a pair, or two or three. Life is short, but your lashes don’t have to be.
Starting a business during a pandemic seems crazy but why not?! I had all this free time and something that I was passionate about to focus on. It just made sense. It’s like the universe aligned and once my wheels started turning with my business idea, everything began falling into place. Even the few roadblocks I faced couldn’t stop me. Yeah, I encountered my first business mistake and it was truly upsetting but I persisted on.
I had to prioritize my time, step away from my blog for a while and put in the work between distance learning and putting food on the table. Was it rough? Yes. Was it worth it? Hell yes.
It was not easy juggling all that I take pride in doing but to see your vision come to fruition will put you over the moon. It’s a feeling like no other. Follow me on my journey to conquering the world. The obstacles I overcame to get here brings me so much joy and happiness. I deserve all of it too. I busted my butt to make my dreams come true.
The amount of support I have received thus far has been so encouraging. I’m glad I didn’t give up my first bump in the road. Those mistakes just made me wiser and more sharp. I absolutely love doing anything related to Moody Babe Lashes from designing my website (fun, but very stressful) to marketing and branding my business. I’m thoroughly committed to growing my baby and seeing how big I can grow her. My passion keeps me focused.
My first business mistake.
I knew I wanted to make Moody Babe a brand. I loved the name. I choose it because I felt it represented me. I am definately moody, especially when I don’t get my way. I am a Leo. It’s one of our traits but I also felt many girls can relate because depending on our mood depends on how we choose to go out in the world that day. Whether it’s glammed up or casually dressed in a white tee from Target Moody Babe Lashes would be your favorite accessory that you would want to leave him without.
I also felt like it correlated so much with my lashline since I was going to offer different varieties of styles for all our moods. I looked up domains and no had taken Moody Babe. Looking back I should have bought it then but I didn’t know at the time which website platform I wanted. I was torn between Wix and Shopify and until I could commit to one I didn’t want to buy and spend extra money to convert anything. Being cheap in the end cost me more money.
I was buying business cards and moving with every intent to buy that domain name. I actually was using it in my bio and on my business content because every week I would check to see if it was still available and it was so I felt like I still had time. Boy was I crushed when I finally picked Shopify over Wix and it was taken. I felt like someone stole my idea and I instantly regretted not just purchasing it right away because now I had a 100 business cards already paid for with a website that was not mine. My logo was complete and I loved it but now I would have to change that too. It was awful.
This whole ordeal could have been prevented if I followed the sequence to starting a legit business. Although, aggravating I sucked it up and changed my business name from Moody Babe to Moody Babe Lashes the same name as my Instagram handle which I think is better so there’s less confusion finding my store. Whoever did buy the domain still doesn’t have their website up and running. I’m curious to see what they do with the branding of Moody Babe but what I learned out of all this is never skip steps and act fast on your ideas. It’s even motivated me to get LLC right away which a lot of small businesses don’t do until they start making money but I wanted to protect my idea and make sure nobody did it before me. I just needed to secure my name before I lost it again.
Moody Babe Lashes
I set my launch date for July 3, 2020. I stuck to the plan and followed through. That day my website went live and I made my first 3 sales online. I’ve been never been so happy. To finally see my vision executed after procrastinating for so long was amazing. I definitely am where I belong. I got the entrepreneurial bug now and I’m excited about the future of my business. I know I still have a lot of work to do but I remind myself daily that if I don’t just go for it as soon as I think about it and wait until I think I’m ready I’ll be always behind. I changed my thinking and ultimately it’s changing my life. The extra money I make will help improve the quality of life for my family, will help me do more in my community and allow me to teach my kids about generational wealth.
The evolution of dreams.
I want my kids to be set up for life. That has always been a dream of mine. I’ve decided to get get more aggressive on going after the things I want in life. I don’t care how much I put on my plate at this point. I’ll still be blogging, getting Moody Babe Lashes where it needs to be and being a phenomenal mom. I got goals I want to reach and nothing is going to stop me. I’m dedicating this next half of the year to truly believing in myself. Stay tuned.
With the current unknown circumstances how do you find motivation to still pursue your goals?
The current events are exhausting. We are living through a pandemic and a historical revolution. The fight for change is long over due. If you know your Black history you know that for over 600 years Black people have been oppressed. There has been no equality and every time we try to sustain our own wealth on our own there are massacres like Rosewood and Tulsa’s Black Wall Street street to knock us back down to square one.
Watch the videos and then imagine if we sought revenge.
In the midst of this chaos came #blackouttuesday and #amplifiedmelaninvoices where we as a united front protested online by only posting Black history, Black businesses and solutions to racism instead of the daily nonsense we post like food and selfies. We muted the background noise of everyday life and flooded timelines with the real issues. We found ally’s in our Black Lives Matter movement, we found silent racists, we gained knowledge of our hidden history and uplifted our voice to the degree that our traumatic experiences as a Black person in America taught non whites systematic racism. The uncomfortable conversation about racism has officially begun.
I saw a post this week of a picture of a white man holding a sign during a protest that said I’m sorry I didn’t see it before but I see it now. Deep. I’m so mad I didn’t think to screenshot it. I felt like this time was the perfect storm and what happens after a storm? A beautiful rainbow. So although, 2020 seems like some bullshit. For the very first time I feel like the gap between whites and blacks could possibly close one day, with the first step being acknowledgment.
If you read my last post Just A Friendly Reminder. Stop Killing Unarmed Black People I talked about how traumatic it is to be Black in America due to us being the most hated race. How we groom our kids to be on their p’s and q’s to not trigger BBQ Becky, or a racist police. We take their innocence away to prepare them for the sad truth that they will be treated differently all because of the color of their skin.
As a black women I used ALL my platforms to make this moment a teaching moment while they were muted and listening. They were learning so much because no one is taught black history is schools. Many whites lack understanding of how their ancestors oppressed Black people because America has select memory. They purposely only teach what they want you to know. They don’t want you to be aware that America has a not so pretty past and for their skeletons to come out the closet. Anything that has to do with it being in a negative light is skipped over because we’re suppose to be the land of the free. The irony.
I paid attention to all the businesses that I spend money with to see if they would speak in a time when it’s not the time to be silent. At this point as blacks we are demanding that that you love us as much as you love our culture. It’s cancel season on anyone who doesn’t hire or support my beautiful melanin kings and queens. We seek consequences for our fallen angels murders, we seek better leadership and new bills to be pass that don’t tear us down. There are peaceful protests, there are silent protest. Everyone is coming together to make the world a better place for everyone because once Blacks get equality it literally trickles down to every other ethnicity that comes from a foreign land.
The tremendous support our community is receiving is greatly appreciated and it’s became clear economically they see if we band together and shift our money these big companies can potentially lose millions. We have always had great buying power and we are understanding that our money unlike racism will always determine the level of our relationships with many. Since money talks and bullshit walks it’s hard to turn a blind eye to how important Blacks are and how much spending power we actually possess as consumers.
Going forward we are redirecting our money to Black businesses. This is a wonderful game changer. Now we realize we need to help out our own producers. We are not ok with just affirmative action. We deserve a shot to be at every table, if we bring something to the table. We won’t stop until everyone has a fair shot at the American Dream. So we are holding these companies accountable. They been doing the bare minimum and enough is enough. Today they are forced to pick aside to end racism. Our oppressors will be punished by us spending our money else where. This will teach them to not love money more than they love our lives.
The fact that these company’s now want to express solidarity seems a little fishy. Are the really really down with us or just trying to stay in trend and make sure our dollars stay pouring in. Seems a little to late (200 years and a few weeks to late). I’m more of a show and prove kinda girl. I need to see action. The only thing I do like about it is all the racists get to choke on the BLM movement right now. I know they pissed when all we’re doing is just trying to matter.
We can not say all lives matter until Black lives matter. I also want to make it very clear that because I or anyone else loves the way God made them doesn’t mean that I’m a racist hypocrite. I only threw that out there because I don’t want anyone testing me on this post. I can love myself and love my brothers and sisters in Christ at the same dam time. Oh, and for the “all inclusive types” this is for us and only us this time. White people have had their own space for a very long time, chill.
And stop bringing up Black on Black crime because that doesn’t happen because of racism. In every race there is more crime committed against each other because that’s who you are around majority of the time. The fact is crime is committed by every race. Every time I hear Black on by crime being brought up my skin boils because police brutality and systematic racism is the issue. We know Black on Black crime exists and can agree that it’s not right but stop justifying injustices against Black people due to a problem that’s in everyone’s race. That’s not an excuse to make it ok. It’s not ok when we do it to each other let alone to anyone else, but especially not when it’s by the people that are appointed to protect and serve the community at large but fall short for one specific demographic.
“Racism is not getting worst, it’s getting filmed.” – Will Smith
America was built on the backs of Blacks and systematic oppression. All of that stops with this generation. Black Americans are arrested 2xs more often than white Americans because of racial profiling. Then when we are arrested we are more likely to be murdered. This is nothing new to us. We as Black people never forget how under valued we are and have always been troubled by this. We’ve been asking why since we could remember. It’s only a conversation now because there’s nothing else to distract white people from seeing it. Where as before it wasn’t filmed.
They can not turn a blind eye anymore. It’s not something we made up in our mind. It’s something we experience on a daily they don’t want to imagine what their life would be on the side nor do I blame them. They are deciding not to be quiet anymore and our standing with us and fighting for change. They took this time to be educated on white privilege and choosing to not be naive, mindless sheep. They are educating their children now and we are not alone anymore. They realize racism is wrong and want to make America great for the very first time ever.
George Floyd’s murder was merely the straw the broke the camel back. Him and many others like him were not just casualties in war but the catalyst to change. May they all rest in power because they didn’t die in vain. Our voices have become powerful. We know what and who we are, and will be dammed to continue on they way life has been for centuries. We are writing our history to give the young kings and queens a better future because they deserve an even playing ground. We now have the hope Obama was talking about years ago and one day we will make Martin Luther Kings Jr’s dream a reality.
I’m still waiting for America to be great. It seems like every time we take one step forward we take 3 steps back. Being Black in America is sad and exhausting. I can’t even breathe. We are the only race that will support every other race but we are never protected. All our civil liberties come with conditions. We have to think twice about walking at night with a hoodie on and even taking a normal jog in our neighborhood can be a risk. In 2020, being black af is still a crime. We are still walking targets.
I’m a mother of 2 black boys who will grow up to be two Black men. It’s sad that I have to even insert that because I feel like I shouldn’t have to state the obvious. Yet I do because I know the difference and they will soon know too. Truth is being a Black man is traumatizing and I have to prepare them for that. How many white moms can say they have to prepare their kids for possible police brutality, modern day lynching, and senseless gun violence? I’ll wait.
Each culture has it’s own set of trauma that nobody truly understand but them. I get it but what I don’t get is when other races see injustices and they remain silent. They become part of the problem. At the end of the day right is right and wrong is wrong. I can’t just sit there and let people treat other human beings wrong. I have to much empathy in me to turn a blind eye, to not speak out or reach out. My first reaction is to help. I’ll never understand how some merely watch and record.
I find myself wondering why the hell Black people are expected to be the bigger person each and every time there is a conflict? I don’t always want to. I’m demanding my respect from now on because I deserve it in the same way other races can. Black people have feelings too. We want to express ourselves. We want to barbecue at the park. Sell water to the thirsty. Not have our house raided when we have done absolutely nothing. We would love to be prosecuted by the dew process of the law and not corrupt cops or over eager vigilantes. Or better yet when we say we can’t breathe be believed. I mean dam why is that to much to ask for. Black lives need to matter.
How is it that when a Black person is murdered wrongfully and all evidence points to foul play the verdict 9 times out of 10 is not guilty? Then you get people like Mike Vick who got more time than all the police officers who have killed 493 unarmed Black men for killing a dog. I need some one to make that make sense because I can’t. How is a dogs life more precious than the Black man? That’s how undervalued they are and I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of hearing disgusting stories of people robbed of their loved ones way to soon. I’m tired of it hitting home. I’m over being expected to get over it because I’m not. As of today we are all tired of being oppressed. We are not taking injustice anymore. We our fighting for a change. Violence or not I’m here for it since they killing us anyways.
If only all the Karen’s of the world would stay out of people’s business and move along with their day without being assholes. I just recently experienced a white male following me to my house to question me about my toddlers trash. The nerve of this man to see me in distress carrying two hands full of groceries and trying to keep my eye on my toddler from running in the parking lots full of cars. As I’m struggling with all my bags because I didn’t want to make two trips he approaches me and asked me if I was going to pick up my child’s trash instead of being concerned for my 1 year who could of got hit by a car.
I will never understand why he felt the need to harass me and proceed to tell me I was ghetto because I said no. I didn’t feel like that trash was important at that time. My Black child’s safety was my top priority but he could give two shits though. He’d rather be arrogant and ignorant. He didn’t try to empathize with me. He didn’t attempt to help me. Instead, he startled me and decided to go off on me and rattle on about my life because I didn’t care about what he cared about at that exact moment.
He doesn’t know my life. I never been raised in the ghetto ever. He just made an assumption to fit his narrative and I think it’s fucked up that he felt he could talk to me in that manner because I’m a Black women and I was alone. Mind you it was me and my two youngest kids. I raised my voice and said good day sir, God bless you but what if I would have met him with aggression? He for sure would have played the victim even though he came over to me. Meanwhile, if my son dropping his soda as his 11 year old sister picked him up to protect him from harms way bothered him so bad he could have picked up the cup his dam self. He saw me with my hands full carrying tons of groceries but he didn’t think twice about confronting me. Black people encounter these types all the the time. It’s so exhausting.
The worst part about the situation is he didn’t see nothing wrong in any of his actions. He was so fixated on being right that he didn’t care that he scared me and my children, violated my space and disrespected me for no reason. He was on a power trip. He obviously felt like I was beneath him and he tried to make me feel less than but what he didn’t expect was my courage. I stood up to him. He’s a human being like I’m a human being. He’s no better or no different and I’m not going to be afraid to put anyone in their place ever. They gone learn today, the day after, and the day after that.
I’m very proud to be Black. I love all my blackness and my dope Black ancestors that came before me. I don’t need Becky to see that my hair is beautiful in it’s natural state. I never needed validation. I was taught by a beautiful Black queen to love myself. I’m training up my sons to carry themselves as kings and my daughter to be a queen in training. I teach them to be kind and tell them everyday they are special. I just want all the peace in the world and I pray that all the warriors on the front line in the battle for equality fight on. I’m making phone calls daily and posting on all my platforms so I can make a difference.
Colin Kapernick lost his whole career for peacefully protesting. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered for his peaceful activism. It feels like our sins have greater consequences. No sin is different, we all sin and long as you repent to God you shall be forgiven. I’m tired of my people suffering at the hand of our oppressors that manipulate the laws as they see fit. I want justice, equality and peace. I want to be able to live this America dream I hear about so much. In present day there is still White America. They get to be heard. Blacks have a voice but we are rarely taken serious I hate to say it but it seems like we have to be loud with our protest and riot or loot in reaction to the fact that unarmed Blacks keep getting killed to get our pain acknowledged.
“Riot is the language of the unheard.”-Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr.
It makes me infuriated that white people don’t understand that systematically they have white privilege and because of it they don’t have the same type of fears I face as a Black mom when I send my children out into this racist world. We come along way but we still have lots of work to do because the world still isn’t fair for Black people. This whole country can burn down for all I care if I have to continue to be free-ish.
I’m tired of my children, my beautiful Black babies being labeled and prejudged. I hate that the images of my Black brothers and sisters always is a negative narrative. I feel as if no matter how much good we do we are the most hated community. The media only shines light on the bad. When the shit hits the fan here comes the media. We’ve been angry but now that people are protesting and looting now they wanna focus on that instead they need to understand why we got to where we are. America is America because we built it for free. Let that sink in. At this point it’s time for the rest of the world to fight and mourn with us if they want it to stop.
I refuse to accept this treatment. I am not numb to senseless killings in my community. It has become normal but it’s not right. It still is a fresh wound that never heals. I cry every time I hear the names of Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland. Philando Castile and now George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmad Arbery. I can and will not move on after a trial of another shady cop because at the end of the day another one of us is dead. The killer ends up loosing his job but I don’t see justice in that. I want to see convictions!
We’re in a got dam pandemic and it’s still happening. We’re fighting back because we have to. Our Black lives depend on it. We have to take action until people are held responsible. For anyone valuing buildings over people your racism is showing. For anyone silent during these pivotal times just know that your silence speaks volumes. To all my non Blacks down for the cause and are mourning and actively fighting to end racism with us we appreciate you.
If your a mom and your not Black what are you doing to make sure that your children don’t shoot unarmed Blacks or don’t make false police reports? I’m curious.
If you receive SNAP or Medicaid benefits you qualify for Amazon Prime for only $5.99! Typically the subscription is around $15 a month so this is a huge savings for the long lists of benefits you receive.
The perks you get with Amazon Prime is simply incredible. Get access to free fast 2-day shipping (more like one day shipping though), thousands of movies and ad free music. So basically on top of getting great deals all your home essentials you get tons of other free things to smile about. Amazon sure does work hard to deliver smiles.
I use Amazon a lot. Anything you can think of your sure to find it on Amazon’s site. I personally love Amazon especially for business essentials. My number one goal with my lash business is to have good customer service and that means being reliable and staying stocked up with inventory. Amazon makes my life so much easier because I’m able to order when I’m low and receive my goods often times the very next day if I order before 3 PM. The fact that delivery is so fast and convenient is worth your wild. Oh and their free returns policy makes them brilliant.
I also think it’s pretty cool that if you have Alexa or any compatible device similar to Alexa that you can ask it what are the deals for the day and she’ll actual tell you. She’ll give you a long list of random deals available and she’ll even take it a step farther by asking you if you want to order that item right then and there. How convenient to be able access deals without have to scroll the actual website. Very innovative.
If your a new mom one thing you’ll love about Amazon Prime is that if you set up your baby registry with Amazon you get an extra 15% off baby items still remaining on your registry. That means whatever nobody got you off your registry list when you decided to purchase the items yourself you’ll get them for a discounted price. We all know that babies need everything so this perk alone pays for the subscription with its savings. Also, if there’s something you can’t find on Amazon there is a universal registry button that allows you to add items from other sites.
A friend was just telling me the more people buy stuff your registry Amazon will actually start sending you gift cards. Plus you have 365 days to return any gifts. This is bomb for busy and forgetful people like me who need more than 30 days sometimes to remember to return something. I call this incredible customer service. They absolutely get us. They’ve figured out what we need and have made the shopping experience stress free. I no longer have to go in a store and I can still get all the products I need without having to wait to long or worry about if I made a mistake because I can easily return it with a quickness.
Amazon has gotten even better they now offer Amazon Fresh, a grocery delivery service that delivers within 2 hours after purchasing. As a prime member you get exclusive discounts on Whole Foods. It even includes free shipping if you spend at least $35. If you have an Amazon Prime VISA you get %5 cash back.
Sign up now for a free 30 day trial and see if the prime membership is worth it. All you need is a valid credit card. You can cancel at any moment. To cancel make sure “auto renew is turned off”.
With all the unfortunate things going on in the world today I’m still happy. I choose to focus on the positive. Instead I want to remember how lucky I am. The world is shut down but our love continues on. We’ve faced a lot of adversity in our relationship who would have thought the Coronavirus would be another one of them.
Imagine planning this huge wedding and then a pandemic strikes. My heart goes out to every bride in my same position right now. It feels like someone just rained on your fucking parade because they kinda did. You’ve proposed to your bridesmaids, you even had your engagement party and right before you were set to send out save the dates you hold back because what if you have planned your day to a tee with all the bells and whistles for nothing. For coronavirus to be impacting your wedding due to social distancing and social gathering restrictions which may cause you to either cancel or postpone.
In my case, after I’ve pressed the line on a few people who had felt the need to comment on how big I wanted my wedding to be because they felt like it was a waste of money. Now I’ll never understand why people get into other people’s finances but to each their own. Like how is me spending MY money on MY wedding any of anyone else concern (MY WEDDING, MY WAY). It seems like a no brainer that if it’s not your business it’s not your problem but I learned early on in the wedding planning process other people most definitely have no comprehension of mind the business that pays you. I had to tell a few people not so nicely that I deserve to have the best wedding day ever and if they are worried about the cost instead of my happiness they definitely could help cut costs by not attending-and I meant that. Had it all been in vain? LOL.
Just recently I made my mind up I’m keeping my wedding date. I was unmotivated to plan during this pandemic because I didn’t want to get my hopes up on my big dream wedding but I’ve decided the Covid is not stopping nothing, especially my marriage. I plan to still be a 2020 bride no matter what. I saw a fly ass wedding in New York on Instagram last week and we decided that we don’t want to wait for the corona to be over to be married.
Even if no one could be in attendance I’d still choose love, sex & stability foreva with my hubby to be today, tomorrow or any day of the week for that matter. The dress code may be a little different and I might have to get more creative but we gone move full steam ahead.
I will have a wedding on my wedding date during this pandemic even if it’s only just us. We deserve it. I can postpone my wedding reception to 2021 if I have to but I will not cancel my wedding. Love will win this time. In the midst of the unknown we always know we have each other and despite this absolutely heartbreaking moment for my fairytale wedding. The emotional stress I felt with every CDC update on gathering restrictions and traveling. Getting frustrated is an understatement. I’ve cried. I’ve grieved. Now that I released my anger I can embrace the endless wonderful possibilities.
If we’re still social distancing we will respect that because ultimately we love our family and want them all to be safe but if the coast is clear ya’ll already know we are partying accordingly. It will be lit af. Shit, we waited over a decade for this moment to align together as one and be absolutely sure(with no doubts) this is what we want. No state of crisis could convince us otherwise. It’s us until death do us part.
We can’t wait to celebrate for all the ups and downs we faced, mountains we climbed together, fears we’ve conquered, communication we mastered, trust we’ve build, and bond that remains unbreakable after everything we went through that was meant to break us and most importantly the principle in which we base our whole entire lives on FAMILY OVER EVERYTHING and God before all of that. 2020 will still be our biggest adventure. Periodt.
I welcome change but I rebuke negativity. I refuse to let Covid 19 steal our joyous day. My day maybe WAY way different than how I originally planned but it will still be how I imagined, beautiful and perfect because the love we have for each other is real. It’s unconditionally and can’t be controlled. Fuck Corona! Love wins again…
If your a bride right now feel free to reach out to me. I’d love to hear from you.
This year due to social distancing we will have to appreciate the moms in our lives from the comforts of our homes.
Every mother deserves to be spoiled and since the world hasn’t opened up yet I’ve been doing a lot of online shopping. While shopping online for my favorite moms I found some really cool gifts that I thought I’d share in case you still have no clue what to get this year. Here are some ideas.
Since nail shops are closed and most women are missing their bi-weekly manicures pamper month with Color Street. It’s an easy to apply nail polish strip that creates the nail shop mani look at home. You can choose from an array of different shades and combos. It’s been the best pick me up during quarantine time.
For my coffee loving mommas this is a great gift. She’ll no longer have to wait in line at Starbucks she can grab a cup of joe from the kitchen. I asked for this Kerig for Mother’s Day because I like the color. It’s going to fit perfectly in my kitchen since I’m obsessed with the mint and teal vines right now but it’s also slim enough to be portable so I may consider taking it to work.
While mom has more time to cook this is the prefect addition to her spice cabinet. Premadonna’s seasoning blends will spice up any meal.
3D Personalized Name Cable
Personalize her USB cord My Heart Gift. This gift is unique and fun. Who doesn’t love a personalized gift? Plus, when everyone has an iPhone these days the kids won’t be able to say it’s theirs and neither will her coworkers. Moms got to have at least one thing for herself. She’ll love this.
This book is a great read for my book lovers who are ready to live their best life once this quarantine is lifted. Author, Rachel Hollis, gives a blunt account on how she became successful by deciding to first believe in herself. We often times could use help finding and trusting our inner voice. If you know someone struggling with fears gift them this book. It’s time for you or them to live to your fullest potential.
The first month of subscription to designer fragrance is $11.21. Give mom the amazing gift to try or switch up her perfume scent whenever she wants. Scent Bird has a large selection over 500 great quality perfumes to choose from to customize your monthly order and if ever you feel like you’ve reached your limit or have found your signature scent you can skip or cancel your subscription at anytime.
Vaccinations are medicines that prevent serious diseases, such as, measles, whooping cough, and polio. Vaccines work by teaching the body to fight specific diseases. It’s important to vaccinate babies and young children because they can’t fight these diseases on their own. The Covid 19 pandemic is an example of what can happen in the world without one vaccine.
Many of us have lived in a world where most of the infectious diseases (7childhood diseases) have been eradicated because of vaccines so we hardly have to face children dying from whooping cough or suffering from disabilities from vaccine preventable disease. If your a new mom and your afraid to vaccinate your child don’t be. Having your child vaccinated on schedule is one of the best ways to keep them healthy serious illnesses and complications.
You can keep track of your child’s immunizations by:
When your child gets his first set of shots the doctor will give you his immunization record to keep track of his vaccinations. There is also a registry that keeps track of your vaccines even up into adulthood.
A common worry is that vaccines cause autism.
I once had a co worker that blamed vaccinations for her sons Autism. She’s not the first person I’ve heard who has felt there is a correlation between vaccines and Autism. There are lots of false information that has been released on the internet but studies show there is no link. There are mild side effects such as a redness, sore arm and fever can occur within 12 hours after shots are given. This reaction is normal and happens because the vaccine is working. Your child’s body is making new antibodies to protect itself against the real disease. A fever will typically go away in 2-3 days. Other than fevers your child is more likely to get struck by lightening than to have a allergic or harmful affect caused by a vaccine.
Excuses to avoid immunizations
While other parents choose not to get there kids vaccinated for religious reasons. This one I had to google and found that back in the day Jehovah witnesses banned their congregations to get vaccinated but since then that policy has been reversed and now it’s up to each individual. Now the most used excuse to not vaccinate is due to parents would rather try a homeopathic approach to illness. They believe if they eat right and stay healthy with natural remedies their immune system will protect them from diseases. Then, there’s those darn conspiracy theorist that think diseases are man made by the government so they can make money. Therefore, they opt out.
Quick story time: With my first son I was 19 years old and clueless. I didn’t question anything about vaccines. I just got them because the pediatrician recommended them and daycare said he needed them. I stayed up to date with his immunizations and dreaded every single wellness visit but got through them with lots of tissue and Tylenol. With my second child I decided against vaccines until I met a patient in the medical field who ended up getting Merca from someone mishandling it at the hospital she worked at.
Out of all the people who came in contact with it and was hospitalized she was the only one who survived. Everyone else died but her. She was fortunate to be alive and she persuaded me with her arguments about vaccines because she basically put it to me like you get them to protect your children from everyone else. My stance was that the body shouldn’t have foreign objects in it. I believed that God made us so that we could self heal. At that time I believed medicines were for people who were impatient and didn’t understand how the human body worked. Boy was I ignorant. That and I think I was more curious to see the difference in getting them done versus not. I was just skeptical. I didn’t want to be putting poison in my kids body if I didn’t need to.
Don’t wait. Vaccinate!
Then she talked to me about how everybody wants to come to America and you don’t know what they are bringing over here from other countries when they come. Other countries don’t mandate vaccines so because of different regulations my child would be more susceptible to whatever unknown viruses and diseases they brought over here and could ultimately die from them.
I got to thinking how selfish of me to make that decision not to vaccinate her and protect her from the unknown so I immediately made a pediatric appointment for my daughter, to get her caught up on her immunizations. The worst part is that I traumatized her because since she was so far behind she received like 8 shots in visit. I felt horrible having to have them done at one time but I figured I had to toughen up because it was in her best interest. If I would have stayed on top of it she would have likely only had 2 or 3 at time. I could have prevented her fear earlier on but that’s neither here nor there.
I’m all for holistic healing to a certain extent. I understand that at some point medical intervention is great and in some cases even better. I can’t lie not all pharmaceuticals are bad either. I hate pain and I Thank God for Ibuprofen when I need to relieve myself of pain. I get we all have our stance on vaccines and in my opinion the risks outweigh the hidden dangers. I’d rather be safe and protected from measles than to be fearful of a fever. I’m just saying. Wouldn’t you prefer the lesser of the ladder?
Germs are constantly changing but vaccines help everyone in the community.
Immunizations save lives everyday. The more people who are vaccinated, the less chance an infection has to spread. There are 14 different deadly diseases that your child needs to be protected from.Every vaccine has different components. Do your research because CDC suggest that individuals stay away from some vaccines depending on if they are medically compromised. So although routine vaccines are recommended for children make sure you get the ones they need and avoid the ones that your pediatrician recommends you avoid.
Most health insurances cover immunizations but if you have no medical insurance you can always afford vaccines for your child. The health department can guide you to many locations that offer low cost or no cost fees for immunizations.
For more information on latest pediatric immunization schedule check out the CDC or ask your healthcare provider.
Yeah, the CoronaVirus is rocking the world but don’t let anything outside of you stop you from starting your business even if you only have $100. Don’t over think it to much. Just do it. Do your research. Make sure your not getting scammed. Make sure your vendors are reliable. Do what you can with what you have. Go ahead and start that business,sis.
Scared money don’t make no money!
Figure out what your passionate about. Not just what you think will sell but something you like doing. I personally watched a bunch of Youtube videos from girls who had started a lash line and were giving do’s and don’t tips, talking about things they wish they knew before starting, essentials of what to buy and topics that I felt I wanted to know before I decided moving forward and getting samples of lashes.
You can start a business with little money or no money. Even if you don’t have the money now get quotes so you know how much you need to get and then start putting your plan in motion by giving yourself a timeline of dates you want certain things accomplished by. For instance, on such and such date have vendor picked. Start putting clothes on offer up to sale to make money. Maybe even tighten up your budget so you can save more, Uber, Postmates, babysit, or recycle. Just do what you got to do to get them coins up so you can stack it up and get your business started.
“God wouldn’t have put the dream in your heart if he hadn’t given you the tools to fulfill it”
If you have money and are scared listen, let me tell you, just sitting on money and not investing it it’s not doing anything for you. You might as well spend it on starting that business you always dreamt of. All you have to do is get over your fear and make that one bold move that will change your life forever. Spend that money and double up, sis. You won’t regret it. Now that you decided in your head it’s time to get your girl boss on. It’s time to get to business.
Tip: Get you a pen and a notebook for all your ideas. Write down everything! Start making a checklist of things you need to do before your launch date.
How to find a vendor.
There’s so many vendors out there. Use google search engine. That’s what it’s for. I was up all night looking for vendors. There are lots of vendors to choose on Alibaba. I found mine there. I won’t give you my vendor list because I don’t believe in giving out handouts but I will always give you the websites that I use. Look up what whatever your looking for on Alibaba. There are lots of vendors to pick from. If you complaining about having to many options then maybe starting a business is not for you. Table the idea until you are really ready. If you ready today decide based on your budget. Your budget realistically is what you can afford.
Tip: In the beginning you really don’t need nothing to expensive. After you’ve made your money back each go around then you can upgrade as you go. Other than that do go crazy getting the most expensive storage organizers and notebooks. Dollar tree items are fine. No ones going to see them but you anyways.
Most vendors have a minimum order. When you buy in bulk shipping in handling international cost a lot so be prepared to pay even more than what you would if your just buying samples. I only do payments through Alibaba.com or Paypal just to be on the safe side. Before ordering ask how long does shipping take. Once you’ve place your order check in every so often for updates but don’t be a bugaboo.
Handle your business before your business handles you.
You don’t have to get an LLC right away. Trademarking and registering your business is expensive make sure you are satisfied with your business name, your logo and whatever business you have for a while first to make sure you still even want to stay in business. Some people stop and start a few businesses before they find their niche and that’s ok. If you want to be an entrepreneur you’ll experience some losses but all I’m going to say is don’t let that stop your entrepreneurial journey.
If your on fire and are producing lots of hot content I suggest you do get a LLC right away. I’m a newcomer but I try to be knowledgeable and I’ve hear to many stories of people jacking your whole name, color scheme or idea. People can be ruthless. So if this is something your worried about trademark your business first before your business takes off.
You know I believe in manifestation and since we trying to be a fortunate 500 company we gone handle our business and operate like one. Just do your research so that you get the right documents filed to protect your business.
Tip: If you have money hire a lawyer instead of doing it yourself. Either way make sure this process is done. It may take a while but it’s not that hard.
Branding for dummy’s.
Be creative. Don’t be basic. Make your product standout more than the next one. From your packaging, social media posts, hashtags, and promo videos be intentional. Use watermarks. Put your brand on everything. Blast it. Drill it in your customers head and be consistent but please don’t copy because other brands. People will think your not authentic or worst a scammer. People buy from people who the feel they can trust. If they don’t trust you, you just lost out on some money.
Remember your brand is a representation of you. Get inspiration from others but don’t copy. Be your genuine self because it makes a difference. It makes you unique. Plus can’t nobody do you like you. You are YOU and that’s your superpower. You can copy someone else’s sauce all day long but the sauce not going to taste the same. That because they put their swagger on it so you do that with your baby (your business). That’s why I don’t even look at what the competition is doing. I just focus on my business.
Don’t get discouraged.
Being a entrepreneur is hard. Truth is things will go wrong. You’ll feel stuck. Whether you have a small following or not keep hustling. Keep posting because when you want something in life you gotta go get it. Stick to your plan and eventually you’ll see the sells start coming. Just keep building your brand. You may at first think no ones watching or paying attention don’t you be foolish they are definitely watching. They going to take about you and even may talk bad about you but keep doing you. How many times do you think about buying something before you actually by it? This is exactly why company’s have wishlists.
I strongly recommend setting up your website so your product is accessible to the world. I spend $25 and made my own website on Wix and I told myself at my one year anniversary I’ll revamp my site and pay someone to do it. As for now I’m on budget and since I’m a little tech savvy I went that route. Websites are important but also do pop up shops, use brand ambassadors, get your friends to help repost your promos and get your brand out there and make sells from dm’s. There’s millions of people you can reach and get your products in the hand of no matter how saturated any field is. Don’t be discouraged.
Make sure your put your stimulus check to good use.
I just wanted to help and encourage you, sis. Push yourself, get those negative thoughts out your mind and speak positivity into your business. Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you can do. If you need any advice or motivation I’m here. I’m not 100% where I want to be but I know I’ll get there. I’m really excited about my business. If your not following me follow me on Instagram @Bossmommyblog and @Moodybabelashes . Check me out!
I hope this blog post was informative. I hope you like it and I hope you start your business soon. Hurry up and get you an Instagram. What are you waiting for.
Don’t be misunderstood again. Learn tips to improve your communication and your relationships with friends, family and co workers. Better communication helps problem solve conflict so there’s less fighting and more time for enjoying the now especially during this pandemic where we are spending even more time with our significant others just chilling in the house.
I keep joking that during this quarantine I absolutely know my fiancé and are ready for marriage because we haven’t killed each other yet. LOL. In the workplace good communication builds trust amongst you and your coworkers. It will also get you in places your resume may not take you and if done right will effectively get you the amazing career you’ve being wanting.
You are your biggest investment! Sometimes as women we trick ourselves into thinking we are not enough but we are. Stop self limiting your self. Be the boss of your life. You can do it even if it’s hard. 2020 is not over yet the world will revert back to what it was. In the meantime, keep self focusing and learn something new.
These 5 simple tips will help you talk to anyone.
1. Improve your grammar and vocabulary.
This is super important if you like to communicate via email or text. Your choice of words set a tone in conversations. Lately, I’ve been I guess you can say fascinated by language. You’ll be surprised how your choice of words can mean something different to different people. Shit, even writing in all capital letters can be taken the wrong way.
Quick story, I was organizing a surprise party and left cap lock on and later found out that out of all the people I sent the message to one girl was offended. She said that she felt I was yelling at her. You see how something so small can turn out not the way you intended, even just changing font can make a difference. For instance, instead of saying sorry I messed up try I’ll fix that now. The power of words really can shift dialogue in a positive or negative direction.
Bad grammar will often make who ever is reading what you write assume you don’t care, are unprofessional or disrespectful. The fact that it leads room for assumptions is the main reason it needs to be corrected so your not misinterpreted. To many grammatical errors make it hard for readers to comprehend what your meaning. By improving your grammar you’ll be clearly understood.
2. Organize your ideas
Be clear about what you want to accomplish when having any conversation. Sticking to the subject and not rambling will help drive your intent home. If you tend to venture off subject by simply organizing your thoughts on paper it will help you stay on track. I particularly use the the summary hand method to organize my thoughts before speaking and writing.
Things that cause us to dance around our feelings is the fact that sometimes we want more and feel ashamed. Crazy right? We feel bad that things aren’t working but we need to learn that by not speaking up that fear is what causes us not to get what we want out of life.
You shouldn’t feel ashamed that you realize your mission in life doesn’t align with someone or a company your working for. It’s ok to want more connection, like mindedness, and shared value or vision of the future. Don’t stay stagnant somewhere if you want more for your future. You can’t change anybody by loving harder or trying harder but you can change you. Letting go is hard, but so is staying.
3. Make eye contact
It’s important to make good eye contact while your talking because it shows that your listening to the other person and that builds trust.
Tip: The secret to making non awkward eye contact is to relax.
4. Make sure your message matches your delivery
There’s a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertive is when your direct, calm and respectful. While aggressive is unhealthy communication that is rude, loud and even threatening. Being arrogant is also not effective when trying to be heard. It is the worst.
Remember that your on the same team and working together to solve a conflict. No you vs me conversations should take place but more so you and I versus whatever the issue is. I also recommend to be calm and genuine. Don’t speak with to much emotion. When people feel like you are genuinely trying to help them they will receive you better.
5. Practice (makes progress)
Hard things are always hard to do but if your thoughtful and at least make an attempt to improve your communication chances are your efforts will help resolve conflict. As always assume positive intent and don’t expect everything to magically change over night.
You’ll know your communication was successful when your intended message is received. By speaking/writing well, organizing your thoughts, making good eye contact, paying attention to your delivery and practicing before you know it you’ll be able to better communicate work tasks, answer questions, give information and participate in meetings. Good communication is very effective in all areas of your life and lack of good communication can ruin a lot of good shit that you probably could have worked through if you already knew these tips.
In a world full of cultures and languages how do you try not to have communication breakdowns?
Hi, moms. I think we can all agree that motherhood is the hardest hood and one of the most difficult part in raising kids is disciplining them. We love our kids but not when they act up. I don’t know about y’all but this quarantine was just what I needed to tighten up my little gang or should I say gang gang gang since there’s 3 of them. My kids are ages 1-14 and I discipline them without spanking them. If your looking for an alternative way to discipline that doesn’t include spanking your kid keep reading.
My kids are not to bad but as they get up in age the challenges are different but still there. I can definitely see where I went wrong with my first child and I see things I need to nip in the bud with my second child. In all honesty I’m just trying to do my best before the third one drives me insane. My main problem with the bigger ones is getting them to do chores in a timely manner, not wanting to do what I’ve asked and fighting amongst each other. I literally almost want to air box them because I get so frustrated that everyday I have to repeat myself or have to ask more than once for them to do something. My youngest’s new favorite word is no and he has just discovered how to be manipulative LOL. He throws tantrum now too.
Lately, I’ve noticed the eldest two can be pretty cutthroat with each other and will get physical with each other quick. They both have snippets of my hot tempered attitude and I’m sure they probably cuss behind my back now but they better not ever let me catch them. It’s been very frustrating seeing them constantly go at it and have to always break it up. Diffusing blow outs has become my daily routine. Cook, clean, and breakup fights. Not how I envisioned my Covid vacation. Matter of fact, it got so bad the first week we had to have a family meeting about all their arguing and fighting back and forth being unacceptable while we’re all in quarantine all on top of each other with no where to go.
Then there is the toddler. My favorite baby because he’s my only baby, but boy does he give me a run for my money. He’s acts every bit like a almost 2 year old. He’s not bad but like any child his age has lots of energy and to much time on his hands. Then you add him taking lesser naps you have one mischievous child. On a normal day with him I do lots of creative play and outdoor activities but since we can’t go outside he’s been bringing down the house. His favorite place to run around is the kitchen. It drives me crazy.
This little bit of time in the house has shown me that we’ve outgrown our condo and have limited space now that we’re a bigger family. It doesn’t mean we can’t make it work or get along. We just have to try a lot harder under the circumstances. I was tired of constantly having to tell them to watch their smart mouths and stop yelling at each other. For some reason dad doesn’t get their lip service. He misses all the good stuff (I mean drama) of course. I don’t think I’m a push over by any means but I’m not super strict either. When I say tighten up it just means get a better routine that fits all of our needs so that I can expect certain things done by a certain time. That way I don’t get angered. That along with doing as I say and being consistent.
I’m good for threatening but not following through. That’s been something that I’m working on. Now if I say anything I DO it to make sure they are clear of their boundaries. That method seems to be working so far even for the toddler. My objective with him is just to establish right and wrong by applauding, giving lots of hugs and kisses or high fives when he does something great or shaking my finger and saying calmly “No,no,no” when he’s crossed the line. Then when he tests my patience further will I put him in his crib for time out time. He hates that and usually corrects himself.
So far for my family implementing time outs have worked. I have spanked my kids in the past as a form of discipline but only for severe things and I didn’t see it working enough for me to keep doing it. Plus every bad bad action doesn’t require a spanking. I now believe in first talking to my kids like adults. I feel like they are very smart and don’t know what they don’t know so the very first offense I now like to give them the benefit of doubt. I prefer to communicate my unwillingness to accept the type of behavior that they are exhibiting that’s pissing me off at the time. Then, if that doesn’t work and they still continue to act up and disobey me it’s time out time. I realize I don’t need to put my hands on them to discipline them or punish them.
Timeout is good for me and for them. It gives them time to calm down and me time to think through a plan to cope with their unacceptable behavior. It’s not something I suggest doing for hours on end but rather 30 minutes just to pause and say let’s figure out the root of the problem before reacting because you can lash out and scar your kids. Afterward, have a discussion about why they are on time out and what other consequences will occur if they continue with the same bad behavior.
The same way I believe in bribing kids I also will take things that I know my kids love away from them to get the results I need. The first thing that’s going is the phone, then the PlayStation or whatever my child is obsessed with at the moment. If I bought it, shit, even if I didn’t buy it I will take it away from them for talking back to me, deliberately disobeying me, fighting, name calling or not paying attention and causing themselves harm.
Parenting tip: Watch the kids your kids are around. Rule of thumb birds of a feather flock together so beware of any manipulative kids in their inner circle. Also, take a look at their parents if they lack discipline skills you better believe their kids don’t have any home training and that influence of your kid is powerful if they are hanging together.
Don’t fear parenting your child. Do what’s right and what’s best. Kids need structure and discipline but as always it’s not what you do but how you do it. The goal is to make sure your child has coping skills when things dont go his or her way and that they don’t become out of control. I seen a post that said “Are your kids acting up ? Whoop they ass because CPS is closed.” For the record that is so not true. My aunt is a social worker and they are definitely still protecting children during this time. They are staying on top of all their cases and making sure to prevent another child from going through what Gabriel Fernandez did.
If you don’t know who Gabriel Fernandez is and haven’t watched the The Trial of Gabriel Fernandez on Netflix I suggest watching it. It’s is not easy to watch but it will show you why physical abuse is just not right. It’s about an 8-year child whose abuse by his own parent led to his untimely death. These parents were unfit and took spanking to discipline their child to another level-abuse. As a child I grew up getting spanked for bad behavior and ultimately did want I learned to my children. I didn’t even look at it as not normal but as I grew into my parenting I decided that it didn’t make me feel better, my child feel loved and was not for me. There had to be another better way to discipline so I looked for alternative ways to punish my children for bad behavior and settle on time out as a punishment, more chores, restriction and canceling anything fun until I saw improvement.
I’m not trying to tell you how to parent your kids this blog post is merely my opinion. I just know that I don’t want to be like Gabriel Fernandez’s mother Pearl and not see how detrimental to her child beatings are emotionally as well as physically. I’d rather teach my children with love then negative aggression. Disciplining you kid isn’t bad but beating them is a crime. Learn to stop yourself from spanking your child.
Proverbs 13:24 says those who spare the rod of discipline hate their child. Those who love their children care to discipline them. That doesn’t mean beat them, it means let them know when they are wrong and correct them. Not only that, but love your child enough to let them know how to treat other and themselves.
In what ways are you disciplining your children at home? And is it working?
If your one of the non-Essential workers and are not clocking in to your 9-5 these days quarantine and read a book. In my free time I’ve replaced music with audiobooks and it has changed my life. I’ve always loved to read. I was raised by a reader. My mom has worked at the library for as long as I can remember. She always brought home books that were no longer in circulation and sparked my interest in reading.
A little fun fact about me is that I even thought one day I’d follow in her footsteps and my very first job was working at the public library when I was in high school. It was there that I fell even more in love with reading and realized how helpful books were. They can take you to a far away place, feed your imagination, help you decompress or feed your mind.
I remember obsessing over baby sitters club books. I even like biographies and non fiction and later had an erotic books phase in high school because back then that’s when Zane was poppin’. In college I dived into self help books. I realized while soul searching that books could be more beneficial than just for entertainment or researching information for an assignment. Everything you want to learn, change or become can be taught from reading a book. Authors dedicate their whole lives to giving up meaningful helpful guides that you can take something from just by reading inside the pages of a book.
As I got older I still enjoyed books but finding the time to read while taking care of my kids got in the way of my busy life that was until I learned about Audible an audiobook app. I love the feel of a book, turning pages and even using my little bookmarks but audiobooks have been the solution to being able to make time to discover new things. Instead of you reading, someone is reading the book to you.
You can listen almost anywhere while your doing chores, in the car, exercising, and running errands. It’s made it easier for me to do the things I need to get done and still make time to learn on the go and at my own pace. We all know life is a series of obstacle preventing you from reading a book but with all this free time on your hands why not quarantine and feed your brain.
Here’s a list of some good reads.
*Your a Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
*48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
*Contagious: Why Things Catch On by Jonah Berger
*The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
*Three Magic Words: Key to Power, Peace and Plenty by Uell Stanley Anderson
*The Spook Who Sat At The Door by Sam Greenlee
*The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir
*The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
*The Science if Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles
*There are no short cuts to e-commerce except these by Chris Zoe
Whether your lonely, need uplifting, help with a relationship or need to find the courage inside of yourself to live the life you dream there’s a book for you that will make you feel like your not alone. When you read you feel connected to a character, a common pain, a goal, a journey or pleasure that has the power to solve your problems. By taking what you’ve learned and applying it to your life you can help yourself but they only work if you do the actual work. Remember before you’re a leader success is about growing yourself.
Don’t be afraid to walk alone. Goals are personal. Stay on track and don’t let your 2020 goals be your 2021 goals. This is exactly what I had to tell myself this week because the CoronaVirus was messing up my rhythm. I felt like I finally had the time to research eye lash vendors in China. I found one that I love that’s affordable and has good quality mink lashes I would actually wear and now I’m fucking scared that they might deliver me some CoronaVirus. The irony.
I’ve been breastfeeding 18 months now and I either get props from supporters or the biggest stink eye from those that think that’s to old. The biggest misconception about breast feeding is that once your kid has teeth you should stop, and if your child is walking and talking and your still breastfeeding then comes the big cloud of judgement. People think somethings wrong with momma for her to be going so long like it’s a problem. There’s nothing wrong with me I’m just trying to feed my kid.
As a new mom trying to figure out what you need on your baby registry is tough because there’s so many products to choose from. What will baby actually need? That’s a good question. Every year someone comes up with some genius idea to improve an existing baby product or a idea for simplifying, organizing or keeping baby entertained that you just must have. Some of them will make life easier, while others leave you feeling like you just wasted your money because your baby doesn’t even like it but it’s cute as hell and you had to have it.
There are so many baby gadgets and products to choose from at all price points. As a mom-to-be you can look all over the internet and find thousands of shopping list but you won’t find one like mine that will give you the honest truth of what’s a necessity (we’ve all fallen for a gimmick or two) and what you might just want because it’s nice to have. Here’s my baby list that’s practical, trendy and will tell you where to splurge if money is no object.
With all this CoronaVirus pandemic madness going on I hope we all take away from this whole mess that we should always have a family emergency plan. The most useful resource my job actually gave me was to think about having a plan. In our case right now we must focus on staying safe and staying healthy so that we don’t spread the virus anymore because it may be just like the flu for some of us but for our older population it’s more fatal and can cause death. Those aged 60 and older are most at risk.
If your a fashionista who had her heart set on dressing up her daughter (it’s ok to have a preference) but recently found out your having a boy don’t be down you can still have fun dressing up your little boy. I promise. Dressing boys can be fun. Why let all the girl moms have all the fun.
I feel like with girls they are so catered to. There’s 50 million stores and websites catering to little princesses while with boys it pretty slim pickings. You have to try a little harder and search a little longer to find the right piece to put together a cute outfit but it can be done.
If you been following my blog you know that I’ve been on my Dave Ramsey ish for a while now. I’ve been really making a conscious effort to gain financial freedom and saving has been a big part of my journey. It’s helped me get out of debt and invest into myself. It’s given me more freedom and security, both of which I’m obsessed with. The piece of mind in knowing I now have options has relieved a lot of the stress in my life I used to have.
Money is important. It affects everything in our lives.
Money effects your attitude, your family, your marriage, where we live, who you associate with, and what you can do with your free time. The more I learn about money the more I get to help YOU. I’m forever trying to learn and grow. It’s a bonus that I get to help y’all out so together we can live our best lives because having freedom and options is much more fun then stressing over the affects of not having enough money.
When everybody did what was best for them and now it’s your turn….Excuse Me While I Live My Very Best Life Now!
Focus on being a great mom, get your finances right, then work on your credit so you can find your forever home. Sometimes removing people that give you anxieties is the best thing you can do. People are so selfish and removing those toxic people give you more space to focus on what’s important-you!
Time to level up your mind so you can make a greater impact.
How To Live Your Best Life???!
Rule number one…stop living your life for other people. You have to make decisions that you can live with because at the dead of the day if they won’t be at your death bed they don’t matter. I will always scream “you do you boo” because the people who matter will love you regardless.
They say you die once and you’re dead and that’s all folks. Every morning you wake up you get to live and that’s a blessing. Ask yourself are you really living or just existing? Routines are wonderful because if you don’t plan your basically planning to fail, but in the same token you don’t want to get so stuck on routine that you don’t allow yourself to take risks or opportunities that could enhance your life. Do what brings you joy especially if you can’t stop thinking about it.
You Take Care Of You.
Self-care is very important. Self enlightenment is also key. You have to live your life the way you want to. This is a huge part in why I randomly booked a ticket to Las Vegas last week to getaway. I am someone who loves my kids but needs mommy breaks. I legit will go loco when I don’t make time for myself. With my crazy schedule and three kids I have to take care of my mental health. Therefore, this last minute girls trip that I’m going to piggy back on in celebration of starting my new business, surviving a pandemic and early birthday treat to myself because my Black life matters too.
My children need a healthy mom and I need balance. It took a few meltdowns for me to take my mental health serious so if you’re struggling to do anything special for yourself just know that it takes time. Love yourself fiercely but be gentle to yourself because the world is already hard enough. It’s easier said then done, I know but it’s important and you need to prioritize self-care. Just think about it like this when you love your body it loves you back and gives you more years to spend with the ones you love.
For years I never bought myself anything while my kids closets were overloaded. I got satisfaction in them being the best dressed kids in school but I forgot about me. I was rocking the same clothes from 2010 while their closets had the latest fashions. Which is crazy because I won best dressed in high school. I’ve always loved clothes but when money was funny I got used to counting myself out. Then, when I starting making decent money I just got used to being basic. No wonder why my life sucked my mindset was wack.
I changed my mindset from I can’t to I can and I will. I started paying myself first and making promises to myself like every time I get paid I need to save, but I also have to buy myself at least one thing. Just buying one thing for only me made me feel good and boosted my confidence back up. It really made a difference. The correlation between looking good and feeling good is real. Caring about yourself starts with your appearance. The new confidence I had empowered me to get shit done and when I say get shit done I’m talking about beginning this blog, Moody Babe Lashes, Princess Boss Lipgloss, and my daughters YouTube channel Life with Kiara. It just opened my eyes to so many wonderful things that I stop caring about when I didn’t care about myself.
Don’t settle for less just because it’s available!
All the good hearted shit is great but if you find yourself always pouring into other people who never reciprocate then STOP. You have to take care of you first and foremost. Never lower your standards because there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. You are never asking for to much because if you have to compromise your integrity or morals then that person or opportunity is not a good fit anyways. Whatever is truly for you is for you and you won’t have to beg them to be on the same page as you.
So often we wonder why we aren’t thriving and it’s because we have dead weight tying us down. As you get older especially in relationships you realize not everybody wants to commit. So you have to start thinking along the lines of are you ok with wasting your time? The dumbest female in the world is a women who is single and faithful to a married man. Girl, get your whole entire life!
Everyone has encountered a toxic relationship before because they are toxic, they like toxic or got in to deep before they realized it was toxic. It happens everyday but shame on you if you decide to stay. You deserve whatever you put yourself through because you always have a choice to leave. I don’t care how much that person spoils you with distractions if they lie to you, cheat on you and use you, you can always find better. Don’t waste your time on people who don’t love you the way or to the degree that you love them. You’ll know when they don’t because it won’t sit well with you.
Try again. Try it differently. Just don’t stop trying until you succeed.
If I could tell my younger self anything I’d tell her don’t cry over spilled milk and that your going to have to let go of a whole lot of shit to unlock the next level of your life. Life is to be lived and to be loved. You’re a goddess. Your a healer. Your light will attract a lot of people that mean ill will toward you but you will shine on em baby because of your determination.
Your drive makes you special. It’s sets you apart from the talkers and the doers. When you are a women of action that tunnel vision energy is strong and defies all odds. Live your best life by staying true to what you love. Focusing on what you can’t live without and do everything in your power to keep hope alive. When you start believing in yourself is when you become successful. Never give up just eliminate what doesn’t help you evolve and don’t let your setbacks become permanent failures. You can be mad at them but take it out on your grind. Don’t let them stop you. Focus on the solution not the problems.
On good days hustle hard and on bad days hustle harder!
There’s this serial entrepreneur on Instagram named @danachanel and she really lite a fire in me last week. She asked the question are you going to let a crackhead out hustle you? I Seriously had a mind blown moment. See a crackhead wakes up everyday with no money but with one goal and everyday they get their fix at all costs. They persist and they meet their needs everyday. That’s the type of hustle you need to have for yourself. Wouldn’t you rather be tired than broke?!
I want my entire girl gang to be rich in spirit and material possessions. If I’m on top I want you all to be up there with me God willing. The views I hear are better there and once we get there let’s continue to support each other and uplift each other because living our very best life requires helping each other build.
So you say you want to live the best life…what are you doing to make that happen after reading this?
Cards and candy are a given and are expected on Valentine’s Day. Let’s kick it up a notch this year and buy gifts for Valentines that have sentimental value and will be used all year around (I absolutely love gifts that are not basic and I can use pretty regularly) or do activities with your loved ones that create memories that last a life time.
Valentine’s isn’t just another day. Every year I hear people say it’s just another day because they celebrate Valentines everyday-I call bullshit. In my house it can’t be done. We’re to busy with work, life and everything in between that we have to pencil quality time in. Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays we always celebrate to make sure we let our loved ones know they are loved and appreciated, by making the day or weekend of special. That way there’s no doubt the love we have for them.
On October 25th, I married the love of my life. We exchanged vows at Cuvier Park as known as the wedding bowl in La Jolla, CA. Immediately after the ceremony we had our reception at The Cuvier Club about 2 blocks away. The decor, the dress, the venue-everything came together perfectly. I’m just so grateful for my pandemic wedding day to have gone exactly how I imagined the most perfect wedding day in my head. Even with the few hiccups everything was perfect. The both of us had the time of our lives which is the most important detail when planning a wedding.
Redd fashionably came down the aisle to “24 Karats” by Bruno Mars. While I walked arm and arm with both my dads as our friend sung “For you I will” by Monica. Our youngest son stole our thunder as ring bearer in his cute 3 piece suit. Of course, I tried to upstage Redd with my vows. I just wanted him to know how much his love means to me. We then said I do with the beach in the background (one of the grooms request) and sealed it with a kiss. Afterward, we jumped the broom in honor of our ancestors.
Hashtags are fun. It’s a great way of being able to see all your pictures your guest took on social media. We originally were suggested #martindowntheaisle which was a play on me becoming a martin. I thought it was cute but later we changed it to #stillmartindown the aisle when we decided to keep our original wedding date amid a global pandemic. It represented that our love was not cancelled and that no matter how big or small, because life is short we were going to get married anyways. I know a few brides that changed their dates but all I kept thinking is how much uncertainty there is in the world today and what if next year was worst. You just never know.
I don’t regret a single penny spent.
To have been able to celebrate and enjoy the best day ever with friends and family who love Greg and I, despite there being a pandemic, was the best feeling in the world. I promised in 2020 I’d be a Covid bride or die! I refused to give up my wedding date and I am so glad I persisted. There were times I wanted to ugly cry and give up but I figured everything out. I made sure I fought for every detail big and small so that our day would be even more special to us. All the arguments Greg and I had over the entire wedding process sucked but even he admitted the next day was entirely worth seeing everyone we love be present for our holy matrimony. At the end of the day the money didn’t matter because the memories we made would last a lifetime and that was priceless.
The whole week I knew that there would be a 30% chance of rain on our wedding day but I remained calm. I am not a calm person but for some reason I just felt like everything would be fine by the time of the actual ceremony. When I woke up and I saw that it was starting to rain the morning of our wedding I just prayed to stay calm. Little did I know rain on your wedding day is a sign of good luck. They say that if rains on the day you tie the knot your marriage will last. Hindus believe that when a knot is wet it’s harder to unravel which is why they believe your marriage will be hard to unravel too. So with that being said we are quarantined for life. Ain’t no breaking us apart.
I love the fact that rain actually signifies everything thing I hope for. I didn’t have a back up plan if it rained so I’m glad that the rain stopped just in time so I could enjoy my ceremony without umbrellas or a last minute venue change. I really wanted my outside wedding and I got it. It’s crazy because the minute we said I do it started sprinkling. It was as if God smiled on me in perfect timing. They say he always come right on time and that day he did just that. He made sure that I had the most perfect day ever. So many of our guests have called and raved about how much fun they had, how great the food was and how beautiful the venue looked.
Meanwhile, I’m just happy we have each other for the rest of our lives and that the our beginning of our forever was so beautiful. I think just about everyone cried happy tears because to become one in flesh is the epitome of happiness. It’s a miracle. To find love and friendship in one person is rare and because of this I think just about everyone loves to see love or to be in love. It truly is a blessing that I thank the universe for every single day.
Having a wedding was important because I wanted to show my children what a strong family unit we have and how much love their dad and I have for each other, and especially for them. I feel like often times black love isn’t celebrated enough and to me it’s important. To often families get together when someone passes or someone’s in trouble and I wanted to change that narrative. Going to the courthouse isn’t in me. Not knocking anyone who did but I wouldn’t have been satisfied with a courthouse wedding I wanted the whole pageantry of a wedding and I’m glad I got it.
My I do Crew
So many people told me not to have a huge bridal party but I didn’t listen. From the minute I got engaged I knew my sisters would be my bridesmaids. I have 3 half sisters and 1 step sisters. Then, I couldn’t imagine getting married without my close friends by my side and I have 4 good friends I speak with regularly if not everyday. That brought it up to 8. My step sister bowed out as soon as the pandemic hit and a friend I asked to be a bridesmaid who ended up not being a good fit removed herself from my bridal party. I choose people I knew who not only would love to be bridesmaids but would help execute my vision for the day.
I saw this location on Instagram and immediately became fixated on it. I always told myself if I got married this is where I’d get married because I knew Redd wanted to get married on the beach but I am not about that sand life so this would be the perfect compromise. I’m also a Cali girl though and through so I wanted a location that represented that.
The view of the beach here is beautiful and I felt like if I moved anywhere in the world you would know that my pictures were taken in California and that meant a lot to me. I always liked that fact that I could always come back and visit the site where I got married and possibly have a romantic picnic, just enjoy the sunset every year or even see another couple in love get married in that exact same spot.
La Jolla, California is a sea side community know for is being one of the most popular beach destinations with amazing views of the coastline. I For the location and the price nobody could even come close to beating the Cuvier club. I really wanted delicious food and found tons of excellent reviews about the Abby Catering. I specifically worked with their company to create the most magical day with Jack and his team. They gave me an event captain Petr who was super thorough and coordinated all the staff who worked the wedding. They also, provided the tables, linens, chairs, love Marquette sign, up lights, and photo booth.
They gave us a special discount for choosing the Abby Catering Company which was nice. Wedding are pricey so anywhere we could get a price break we did. From all the YouTube videos I watched one of the number things I took away from brides before me is that the more inclusive your venue the less stress you experience on your wedding day. I’m a self proclaimed DIYer but I opted to not take on so many projects so that I could have time to enjoy as much as I could of my wedding. You most definitely get what you pay for so I let the experts handle major parts of the wedding.
Getting ready at my phenomenal bridal suite definitely set the mood for the day. They definitely helped us create a vibe. The bridal suite at the Cuvier Club is not only beautiful but spacious. It accommodate my 7 bridesmaids, hairstylist and makeup artist comfortably. There was 3 different dressing corners to get dressed. Before the wedding we played music, sipped champagne and took way to many pictures of our fabulousness.
Together Redd and I chose 4 appetizers and 2 specialty cocktails for cocktail hour. For dinner we went with a dual entree of fried tilapia and chicken Marsala. I am huge food critic and they executed the food marvelously. I had guest tell me that our food was the best wedding food they ever had and that speaks volumes on how good the food was. They even accommodated our vegan guest and our picky guests.
I was nervous about being able to dance and socialize but they assured me that my party just had to follow restaurant rules and have their masks on while dancing next to their table. Which meant we could still enjoy the cha cha slide. For me that’s all I wanted was to celebrate but keep it safe. In order to do that, there would be no buffet and the waiters would serve everything. I honestly didn’t mind the restriction because they were reasonable and neither did my guest.
We all made the best out of the circumstance and coordinated our outfits which masks to match. We served macaroons, cupcakes and donuts for dessert to our guest instead of the cake we cut with our masks off to prevent the possibility of spreading Covid. We offered plenty of hand sanitizer and had custom made signs stress the importance of not spreading germs.
I didn’t spend very much on my dress. I’m a firm believer in clothes don’t make you you make the clothes so although I was gifted my dress by my mom I didn’t break the bank on this item. I knew due to my height and body shape I couldn’t wear a big poofy dress or it’d look like a cupcake. I figured something simple and form fitted would be cute on me. I actually was inspired by Justin Bieber’s wife Haileys wedding dress. I loved her long sleeve off the shoulders dress. I wanted that same shape.
I found my dress on AN luxe label for way less. AN is a dress company out in Australia that makes formal dresses as well as wedding dresses. They even offer Sezzle a affordable way to get the dress you want and pay the rest later in four equal payments. My dress isn’t a wedding dress but it worked well as one. I fell in love with it because I love a sexy back and of course anything with sparkles. It was sequence from head to toe and hugged my body in all the right places.
I worked my second look.
Why not be extra af and sparkle in a intricate diamond and pearl bedded dress. After all, you only get married once. I just couldn’t resist getting a party dress to dance in. I almost wasn’t going to get a 2nd dress until I found my dress during my bachelorette weekend in Las Vegas. I opted to go with a shorter dress because I didn’t want people stepping on my dress and ruining it. Plus, I wanted something I could twerk in. When I saw my dress I knew it’d be perfect for making a statement and for being able to dance the night away in.
From the ceremony to cocktail hour and the reception I received so many compliments. My day of Coordinator was heaven sent. She made sure everything went smoothly. She did a fantastic job. She kept my bridal party on schedule, she had the DJ on point and relieved me of any chaos behind the scenes. I can’t thank her enough. If you can’t afford a wedding planner at least get you a day of coordinator. I chose the only friend I knew who could handle such a huge task and I’m so glad I did.
The people who attended our wedding were suppose to be there. They were who we were suppose to be surrounded by. I wouldn’t change a thing. We know who has our best interest at heart and we are happy to share our lives with those who value and support us. We appreciated every congratulations and every gift. Now to kill this wifeyhood and continue building our empire together for our family.
I was going to post this for TMI Tuesday but my phone was tripping. A day late but here it is. I’m not sure why no one is talking about bladder incontinence during pregnancy and after childbirth and how doing kegal excersizes can help prevent the occurrence but lucky my friends you have me. Let’s talk about what we only usually talk about in our inner circle.
The 411 on your pelvic floor.
I feel like at this point it’s time to add bladder incontinence to the long list of secrets no one tells you about motherhood but you wish you knew before hand. The sudden urge to go pee and how a hard cough or deep laugh will trigger a little sprinkle of pee. It is definitely embarrassing and annoying. What’s even worst is when you experience this in public or at work and don’t have extra undies. Not cool.
Self-love is the best love. If you don’t have a pamper routine I suggest you get one. As a busy mom with aspirations it’s important to pencil in self care. Treat yourself. You need to take care of your mental and physical self in order to thrive in motherhood and your career. A little “me time” is necessary. You need to create chill relaxing pamper days to balance the busy chaotic ones or else take it from me, you’ll go loco in la cabeza.
We’re 23 days into the new year. We already made up our mind that this year we’re going to be intentional with our goal setting. Now that we’re going to be laser focused on our dreams it’s time to discipline ourselves and give up a few things to make our dreams possible. It’s not going to be easy but in 2020 we’re claiming success.
The legend, Kobe Bryant, his daughter and 7 others died today in a very horrible tragic helicopter crash in Calabasas. I can’t believe it. This is so shocking and so sad. We’re just starting 2020 and then here go this bullshit.
I don’t care how much of a diva you consider yourself if your baby daddy is not holding up his weight put him on child support, sis. Stop getting sad and stressing out about what he’s not doing and let the courts deal with him. I’m a huge advocate in trying to come to a mutual agreement outside of court but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Don’t feel ashamed about it either. I applaud women who take care of their business for their child when the dad doesn’t want to step up.
The millennial mom is running businesses, working and raising kids. She is a strong professional women holding down her family while trying to get paid. I am sis. Sis is me. In fact, it’s starting to even be more common for us hustling women to now be the bread winners of our families. We are moms but we have elevated our mindsets. We want the whole nine yards-financial stability, wealth and good health. The roles have definitely reversed in the 21st century and we aren’t complaining. What can I say the millennial mom is poppin’!
I’m claiming everything this year. 2020 will be MY year. Periodt! Whose with me? Whose not letting their goals go unfinished? A new decade is on the horizon and it’s time for our dreams to come true. That business? Start it. That toxic relationship? Let it go. That higher education you always wanted? Go for it. That dream vacation? Take it. That mentorship? You can never know enough so reach out and make those valuable connections. That “no” you received? Go harder. This year it’s time to be fearless in the pursuit of happiness.
Do you boo.
We’ve been in survival mode way to long. It’s time we start living! We’re not ok anymore with just progressing this year, we’re ready to celebrate our accomplishments. I know I plan on working a lot so I can do more celebrating, even the small victories because those are crucial to your overall success too. Every boss move I make I’m popping champagne for all the pain I experienced in my loosing season.
A lot of men and women didn’t get the experience of having a wonderful father. It’s time to break that generational curse and change that. Dear fathers, promise your unborn children that as a man you’ll step up and be the loving father they deserve no matter what circumstances surrounded them coming into this world. Once you have a child it’s no longer about you. It becomes all about your little ones happiness. No excuses.
I’m only discussing you men because the saying mommas baby, daddy’s maybe is pure facts. I know plenty of single moms and countless kids whose fathers are not in the picture like they should be for many reasons, but at the end of the day there’s no excuse that will validate any father not being in his kids life. How could you not take one look at your kid and not want to make better choices?
Are you a busy mom who focuses entirely on your families wants and needs? I get it I’m the same way. I just recently learned how important it is to keep yourself up after childbirth. Please mommy, don’t forget about YOU. Do something for yourself. You deserve a spa day to get your groove back. You deserve a spa day at Glen Ivy Hot Springs because taking the time to relax and unwind is good for your health, and will make you a better mom, wife, co worker and friend.
This Saturday, I hosted an unforgettable Friendsgiving for my mom friends at Louisiana Purchase. It was a magical night in San Diego with tons of inspiring stories, lots of laughs, impeccable food, drinks, beautiful ambiance and a chance for all of us to make a difference and give back. Instead of doing your typical potluck for Friendsgiving I thought it’d be fun to switch it up and get my boss lady friends out the house for a ladies night at a hip restaurant and do some charity work.
We are so blessed throughout the year it feels good to give back to the less fortunate. My life hasn’t been perfect. I’m still waiting on some prayers to be answered but I do what I can. This year I can truly say I’m so fortunate and grateful to be around so many strong like minded women willing to do some good with their blessings. These are my tribe of sistas and I’m thankful for the support of each one of them. Without strength in numbers we are powerless. With it we can do amazing thing and this night was proof of it.
You don’t find the perfect relationship, you build one. When you create your own happily ever after you’ll stop comparing yours to theirs.
My marriage goals are not to be like Will and Jada, Beyoncé and Jay-Z or any other couples I admire but to have my version of happiness I know a marriage/partnership could bring if done correctly. Redd and I are about 10 months shy from saying I do after almost 15 years together. I know some people hear that number and would say finally. Well, me too! I was almost at my expiration date that if a promise of forever wasn’t around the corner I was taking my 3 kids and moving onward and upward, but God had other plans.
I got my prayers answered. I didn’t pray for him to marry me but I prayed that if he wasn’t my soulmate to remove him out of my life. I knew that I loved him and that I’d be to weak to let go so I needed God’s help. I prayed like my life depended on it because it did. I ultimately decided that by the end of June 2019 if I wasn’t engaged I was going to swallow my pride, suck up my embarrassment and call it quits. I knew it would hurt like hell but it needed to be done because I was ready for marriage. When you know you just know it’s time because your sure that’s what you want.
I had already given him 3 kids and to me that said I was all in. His reason for taking so long to propose is because he wanted his money to be all the way right when he popped the question. He wanted to give me the lavish ring and wedding I wanted and he knew that took money. Boy, was he right because planning a wedding is pretty pricey. He had heard me all those years and didn’t want to let me down and to think I almost gave up because I thought he had taken me for granted.
In his mind he already considered me his wife. Redd has already been calling me his wife for years now and I correct him every time. I would noticeably point out my empty left hand with no ring in sight. Then, he would always tell me it was coming. I started to think it was never coming and he was just saying that to get me to hold on a little longer. I would look at my beautiful family and think I’ll wait a just a little bit longer but my patience was getting thin.
I don’t think you should put time limits on love but I couldn’t help it I needed to know if I should continue to put my eggs all in one basket. I mean I stayed down for over 14 years before he proposed but how long is to long? Honestly, I don’t have answer but I assume when holding on is no longer an option. When my needs were no longer met or he’d stop trying to make this relationship work I figured so would I.
He never stopped trying. According to him, the way his mind is set up the fact that he never left me should have gave me my answer. Well it didn’t. I’m a rational person and I needed proof. I needed that diamond ring! I needed to hear it, see it and feel it. I needed it ASAP at that. So I spoke it into the universe and manifested it.
“There is one happiness in life, to love and be loved” -George Sand
I question everything without action behind it. Something about love, sex and stability forever eva with him seemed like paradise. Just seemed to make perfect sense. Also, that knowing we two people would join forces as one and work toward a common goal of giving our kids the best life was looking real desirable, like a wedding would be my grand price, especially after everything we’d been through. It felt like it’d be our grand finale. Something for our kids and eventually grandkids to look see where their foundation came from and to have an example of black love to look up to as well as look forward to.
I didn’t want to feel together but separate anymore. I wanted us all to have the same last name. I wanted to wake up each day and feel like I was giving my all because honestly I wasn’t. I wouldn’t move forward with any of my plans like getting a house because I didn’t want to make that move with a boyfriend. It seemed ridiculous to do that. I felt like for us to get to that next level we needed to lick it down and throw away the key LOL.
I wanted to stop shacking up and make it official. I never once made getting married a criteria for our relationship before. Until I had baby Kalvin it wasn’t a big deal to me. Marriage was where I saw us eventually working towards but I always wanted to be sure as hell that I had a great relationship before taking that step. I take marriage very seriously. My time. The vows. The commitment in front of God I wasn’t about to play with.
Matter of fact, there was a time in our relationship when it was so rocky that I never even wanted to marry him. I remember he would be like I’m going to marry you and I would adamantly say you are not about to make me miserable forever. Nope. To many changes needed to be made for me to make that type of commitment.
Yet we held on. We became a team. We have a partnership. He provides for our family and is present. I couldn’t be happier. I know that the person I will marry in October is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. The person who makes me laugh and smile more than be upset. A man who has led me to growth within myself and the love we have for each other hits differently because it’s genuine and real.
I’m ready for the wedding and the marriage. Who has any wedding advice? Comment below.
Shoutout to all my friends that have dealt with all my rants through pregnancy, through childbirth and through motherhood. At this point there’s no such thing as TMI anymore because you guys have listened to me spill the beans about everything under the sun. I mean EVERYTHING! I don’t know what I’d do without being able to tell y’all the specifics.
Do you ever feel like your struggling with work-life balance? You don’t have to be. I have 5 tips to help you balance your personal and work life. If your a working mom like me, maintaining a healthy work-life balance is crucial for your mental health and physical health. It helps prevent stress and burn out so you can connect with what matters the most to you, your family.
Wear your stripes, your lines with pride. At this point I feel like my stretch marks are apart of me. I’ve earned these stripes in birthing 3 beautiful babies and I except every single imperfection. I’m beautiful just the way I am and you are beautiful just the way you are, stretch marks, incision scars, little pouch, mommy rolls, sagging tits and all.
The one thing that you can’t get back is time. Once you mature and realize that life is to short to be miserable and unhappy, letting go becomes a way of life. All you have to do is stop making bullshit excuses to hold on to shit that’s weighing you down. You ever wonder why you see everyone around you getting blessed but not you? It’s often times because your blocking your own blessings by not letting go.
Many of us were not taught to let go. Yet, letting go is liberating. For some reason men tend to be scared to let down women and women just don’t like to be alone. You have to let go of relationships that are not for you, in order, to live a healthier life. Let go of all toxic people (family members included), jobs that hold you back, your own fear and the idea that you should expect anything from anyone other than God.
I work in the dental field as a dental assistant and I’m always surprised how many parents don’t realize how important it is to take care of your child’s baby teeth. Teeth in general are just as important as your other body parts. You want to take daily care of them just as you would your your liver or your heart.
To the females that don’t have kids yet. This post is for you. There’s so much to expect when your expecting. There’s so much to learn if your a new mom if you haven’t taken a child development class. People will warn you about all the crying, the sleepless nights and how expensive kids are but in real life the first year is all about survival. You have to be realistic and throw away all your expectations and do what works for your family.
On Saturday, October 5th, 2919 I attended the 10th annual Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic. I absolutely enjoyed this dope event. I enjoyed a day of being a Boujee milf with my extra’d ass friends. We sipped Veuve Cliquot champagne, ate fancy cheeses and mingled with the most stylish guys and dolls at Will Rodgers State Historic Park.
Polo matches are typically a drag to me but the perfect backdrop on a gorgeous day filled with lots of champagne, fashion and fun. I played life size board games, met fabulous people, took lots of pictures while the deejay played all the jams.
If your like me and never attended an event of this nature you definitely want to be prepared and know what to expect. So I’ve created a little guide and I hope this helps if you’re planning to attend next year.
I hosted a mommy meetup at Breakfast Bitch last Saturday with around 6 of my girls. I’ve been wanting to try this new spot for a while and I’m glad I did. The food was delicious, the slogans on the wall were litty and the vibe was mad cool. They played good music, the lines weren’t extremely long and the staff was super friendly and catered to all our needs.
This week on the internet I saw a post posing the question “Is travel a valid reason for kids to skip school?” and while reading through the comments I was surprised how many parents would not let their child miss a single day of school. I personally don’t have an issue with it unless they are falling behind academically.
Who else is constantly seeing pregnancy or birth announcements all up and down their timeline? Just about everyday a new baby is born or on its way. I just want to say Yayyyy to ALL the moms to be! I’m so excited for all you mother-to-be’s (whether your a first time mom or veteran mom expanding your family), Congrats!
Not only does pregnancy bring tons of hormonal changes but let be honest shit is never the same once you become a mother. Adapting to your new normal is definitely a process. 80% of moms tend to feel overwhelmed and can use your help even if they don’t want to admit it. If your not pregnant but apart of the village and excited, here’s how you can make moms life a little easier after she’s had her baby. Here are some ways you can help out.
Paying with cash will help you save money and with the money you save you can invest back into yourself. Whether that’s to take a class to develop your craft more, purchase more tools to grow your business, meet a personal financial goal, or save for a vacation. You’ll be surprised what you can achieve financially when you plan with a purpose, execute and put your money in areas that will bring you abundance.
“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.”
On a quest to save money to fund my dream wedding I learned about the cashenvelope system. The key of the envelope system is to budget your money using envelopes for different categories of your household expenses. It forces you to accurately budget your expenses every month and stop overspending.
I’m a huge birthday person. Like a huge birthday person. I love celebrating my birthday every year. In my head my birthday is a national holiday.
I dread getting older, but I love celebrating my birthday in some kind of grand way. It’s a Leo thing.
Last year, as my birthday was approaching I was getting ready to fuck it up per usual, while being big and of course pregnant. I had my heart set on a glitter theme party and I was going to show up looking like a big, sexy disco ball. It was gonna be a hot glitter mess of a good time.
I decided on a good food spot to eat because what does a pregnant lady absolutely enjoy other than food? Nothing. Then, I was going to make all my beautiful friends wear something shiny and sparkly so I could get a cute maternity photo shoot out of the deal.
I had the perfect dress and the perfect heels for the occasion and they are both still sitting in my closet waiting to be put to use because someone couldn’t wait to meet his mommy.
Teething is a normal part of a baby’s development when their baby teeth are in the process of erupting. It typically occurs from 6-24 months of age and trust me you will know.
During this time your child will most likely experience discomfort due to tender and swollen gums, become irritable, go through tons of bibs from drooling, and try to bite on any and everything to relieve the pain. Oh and lots of crying.
Teething is a stressful time for you and your baby as you struggle to find ways to relieve their pain but thanks to one mom named Tasia Blackwell (same name gang 💁🏾♀️ so I like her already) who invented Milksicles there’s a solution to this challenge.
I have the same 24 hours as anyone else and I maximize all of it or at least I try. When do I rest with 3 little ones you ask. Ha! What’s sleep when you have a newborn. If your a parent you definitely understand where I’m coming from. Even in mombie mode I’m taking care of business. Challenges arise all the time but guess what. I walk up to them confidently and say who gone stop me? Not you! And that my friends is how you take charge of your life. Be the boss of your life.