Shoutout to all my friends that have dealt with all my rants through pregnancy, through childbirth and through motherhood. At this point there’s no such thing as TMI anymore because you guys have listened to me spill the beans about everything under the sun. I mean EVERYTHING! I don’t know what I’d do without being able to tell y’all the specifics.
Man, we be having some good conversations when I’m on the toilet or hiding in the closet away from my kids (I know I’m not the only one who hides from their kids). I have to or they will mom me to death.
If you don’t currently have mom friends. I suggest you get you some. Get you some mom friends that get it and understand. I got mine organically from friends of friends but now days there’s support groups everywhere where you can find some pretty decent mom friends.
I hear there’s even apps where you can meet other moms, or try introducing yourself to other moms when you take your kids to the park, your kid’s classmate birthday parties or you can always join my Facebook group Boss Mommy Club. Either way don’t be afraid put yourself out there. I promise you motherhood is more fun with mom friends.
Last year, my daughter’s besties mom and I became friends and been rocking every since. Now she’s one of my closest friends and to think I was avoiding meeting her in the beginning because I hate awkward introductions. For months, our kids tried getting us to meet so they could have play dates but I never made a effort because I really didn’t like the idea of my daughter going over anyone’s house at that time.
Then, one day we met and I really liked her and her vibe. We were both pregnant and with boys so we had that in common. We both worked and had families. Both of our men travel a lot for business and we do a lot of raising our kids by ourselves. We’re both basically single moms until our men come home, which can be challenging and lonely sometimes. To find someone going through something similar and could relate was awesome.
We talked and just clicked. Like instant best friends. Now we are really good friends. We help pick up and drop off our kids to different activities. We’ve traveled out the state to cheer competitions with each other and I trust her with my child because she treats her like family. We’ve even got our men together and now they are friends making it a family affair.
We take turns giving each other kid free days but we also go to church together with our families and occasionally will have our mom nights out. All in all, we work together to raise our kids and she’s been really valuable in helping me grow as a person because she’s just a motivated as me to get this schmoney and take care of our families.
We can talk about any and everything-love, marriage, kids, family, life, and work. We’re on the same page for just about everything. We share all our resources. Don’t you just hate when people won’t let you in on how they are managing like helping another sister out will dim their sparkle because it won’t. We both want to see each other win.
It takes a village to raise a child and I’ve filled mine up with mom friends. I can go on and on, about how important mom friends are and why you need them because I know I wouldn’t be able to survive without mine.
As a mom having mom friends that take time out of their busy schedule to show up for you and support you through all your mommy problems is such a blessing. Us moms have to stick together.
There are so many perks to having mom friends.
My mom friends have offered me great advice, tips and useful parenting experience. They have been inspiring when I was overwhelmed and exhausted by motherhood. Also, there’s nothing better than being able to learn, laugh, and grow alongside them through traveling, crafts, and kid activities.
I pray you find mom friends that become your framily like I have because when they do they help motherhood seem a little easier. There are plenty of different types of moms and when you find one that is down to earth and fits your lifestyle it’s pretty cool. You shouldn’t feel alone on this journey and mom friends can help you enjoy the ride.
Over the years I’ve experienced lots of different types of mom friends. Some good and some bad but I learned a little something from all of them. Whether we shared stories, recipes, laughs, accomplishments, or tears some of my best memories were made with my mom friends.
Having a mom tribe is one of the best decisions I made. I think once you have kids there’s only so much you and your friends without kids can talk about or do together when you don’t have a sitter. I’m not saying you’ll loose all your friends who aren’t parents but you might not be as close when your lives are going in different directions just because you can’t come and go as freely as someone without kids.
The supportive and encouraging mom. They understand because they are struggling to balance the demands of life and motherhood too. They come with hugs, warm cooked meals, positive vibes, a bottle of whine and a listening ear because they’ve been in your shoes before. They can relate and know exactly how to give mom-to-mom support since they have needed those things as well at one point or another.
The mom guru. Depending on what stage of parenting your mom friend is at they can give great advice or have great useful tips on how to deal with your child as they reach each milestone. Which can also be helpful in knowing if your child is developing at a good speed or not, or what to expect once they reach certain age.
If you think having a baby is hard wait until your child reaches puberty and you have to give the “sex talk”. I’m not even ready! Or when they’re college bound and your worrying if you gave your kids all the tools they’ll need to build a life better than the one you gave them. Your going to want someone whose been there and done that to show you the ropes.
The fun crafty mom. They don’t mind doing kid friendly activities. If your mom friend and you have kids that are close in age and actually get along that makes play dates just as enjoyable for you as it does for your child. No one wants to hear their kids arguing when you finally get some adult interaction that you’ve been desperately needing. That way it’s a win/win situation for all parties. I find that I’m actually more prone to do kid activities longer if I have a mom friend to gossip with. Then, when it’s time to leave we both synchronize leaving at the same time that way one kid isn’t jealous that the other one still gets to play.
Budgetnista mom. They are on a strict budget or like to stick to a budget. Everyone knows raising kids can get very pricey especially if you wanna keep them active and entertained. There’s nothing better than a mom friend that coupons or likes finding affordable things to do, or free stuff that y’all can do with the kids like movies in the park during the summer nights.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get the little ones to have fun you just need to have a good imagination and an open mind. Typically all the stuff us parents worry about kids could care less about so you really don’t have to spend and arm and a leg unless you just want to and got it like that.
Otherwise, two or more mommanistas planning a kids event or outing should not only be creative and fun but only cost a little or nothing SCORE! Whoever says I wish I spent more anyways?
The party pooper mom. They never need an excuse to not go to something. They are always tired and their family is their top priority. They are not showing up to anything you host and it’s not personal. As a mom you know that kids give you universal sympathy. You can blame anything on your kids and another mom won’t ask you a million questions. For example, if my kids are sick- I’m not going. If my kids are bad -I’m not going. If I’m not in the mood-I’m not going.
Don’t make any mom feel guilty for not going. She’s got her hands full. Always cordially invite her to stuff but don’t get mad if she doesn’t RSVP. At the end of the day take her for who she is. She’s not a socialite. Maybe she just likes her Netflix and naps at home. Some moms are so sensitive and take other moms not showing up to things as offensive. That needs to stop.
Dr. mom. They will let you know if something is normal or not. After I had my c-section I wanted to see all my friends scars so I could have something to compare it to. Just to make sure the doctors didn’t butcher me. So of course my friends didn’t need any convincing. They were like step right up, take a look. To see their scars eased my mind. They assured me I would heal eventually but it would take time. I just had to be patient.
The not scared of anything mom. They are not afraid of tantrums or tears and they don’t get embarrassed when you have to discipline your child for having a meltdown in public. Sometimes when they see you livid that will just give you that look like you are doing exactly what your suppose to do don’t worry about everyone starring.
Also, when you have poor reaction time they jump in and save the day. Nothing surprises them or scared them. They roll with the punches After all, they are not scared of anything.
The open minded mom. Mom friends don’t criticize your parenting style. They don’t tell you how to parent but will offer funny accounts of the tantrums their kids have thrown and try and make you feel better. They are non judgements and if they ever become drop them like a bad habit.
There is no competition with you and an open minded momma. She gets that you are doing what’s best for you and your child even if she doesn’t agree. These moms are the best type of friends to have because they support you for you and never shame you or force their ideas on you.
The Funny mom. She has sarcastic mom humor. They know your not going to kill your kid no matter how angry you are. Sometimes you just want your kids to think you might so they can give a dam about your feelings.
I grew up in the era where it wasn’t uncommon to get your ass beat with a belt. Talk about learning your lesson. Now my 14 year old acts as if he’s a slave if he has to lift a finger around the house. These kids these days are so spoiled. Talking doesn’t always work sometimes you gotta scream and pretend your going to break their phone to get them to act right.
I’m so the funny mom who loves her little assholes but doesn’t want a cps case when I’m practicing tough love. I need friends around me that aren’t afraid to parent their kids because I’m not. My methods may be unconventional but laughter is my way of trying not loose my mind stressed about my bad ass kids. All kids is bad so this is not up for debate. And when I say bad that includes annoying too.
The super mom. She meets you at the middle. Say your forget wipes. 9 times out of 10 they probably have them and have no problem sharing. They never leave the house without snacks or water. Don’t nobody got time for long lines when your out in public with kids with little or no attention spans.
They are over prepared and thank goodness because when your a hot mess you need a mom friend who has your back.
The mom shamer. She thinks she’s better than you at everything. In her dreams her kid is a genius and it’s all because of her organic baby phone and the breastmilk.
The always late mom. Who else is going to understand stand why your always late because you keep going over the list in your head of shit you can’t leave the house without. Not to mention each kid adds at least 30 minutes to every thing.
Someone always loosing something, forgets something, is wearing the wrong outfit, or gets distracted and next thing you know your plans of getting out the house on time is ruined.
My keys are usually the biggest issue I have. I can never find them. I usually walk in the house with so much stuff and they just land in different places every time. The worst is when they were lost in my sons car seat for 30 minutes. I accidentally dropped them in there when I buckled him in and searched inside the house for 30 minutes before realizing. Smh.
The big hearted mom. They give you the best hand me downs. If you don’t listen to any thing I say at least listen to this…kids don’t need half the stuff we buy them. Spending so much money on clothes for babies is ridiculous but we do it anyway. I get it and I’ve done it but I except all hand me downs from friends who I know take great care of their stuff. I mix the old with the new and my kids can’t tell the difference.
The over protective mom. She’s scared to let her kid be a kid. She watches them like a hawk and doesn’t let her child explore and do childlike things. She tends to always think the worst possible thing might occur and she’s prepared if it does.
Her kids are usually annoyed by her but she doesn’t care she plans on babying her child until they are married with their own kids. My advice for befriending these types of moms is know your limits. Don’t punish your child for her overthinking.
Don’t let her issues affect you and your child. Everyone parents different and just because she’s a scary mommy doesn’t mean you don’t love your child just as much as she loves hers.
The gossiping mom. They have side conversations with their kids when they are talking on the phone with you too. So it’s not awkward if you are carrying on two conversations at once. My favorite low maintenance mom friends are the ones where if the call drops nobody calls back and nobody’s feelings are hurt.
It’s so hard having a decent convo around kids anyways because for some reason the minute you answer the phone everybody in your house needs your attention. Everything is urgent and nothing can wait smh.
The beautiful hot mess mom. They totally don’t care if you hair is a hot mess, your house is a hot mess or your car is a hot mess. After all once you have kids your life is a hot mess. Your nice clothes get stained from the trenches of parenthood. Your once every two week nail appointments get stretched out longer and and longer.
Your lucky if all your nails haven’t broke off after 3 weeks. There’s a constant battle between your kids looking presentable or you and it never seems to work out in your favor. That’s why they’ve adopted the attitude of your lucky I even showed up.
The don’t sugarcoat shit mom. My favorite kind of bad ass mom. The reason is because real friends keep it real with each other even if the truth hurts. This momma is honest and someone you can trust. When they are concerned they are going to bring it to your attention. There’s nothing worst than a hater that will let you fail. She won’t let you fail she will encourage and and uplift you but also let you know how you need to fix your crown.
You just need to know it’s coming from a good place. This momma wants you to be the best mother you can be for your children. She wishes you well and she’s not going to let you give up on yourself. She might be my favorite type of mom.
The haute momma. She’s always overdressed and somehow manages to get her sexy back after having kids. She firmly believes if you got it flaunt it. She might dress a little inappropriate at times but she’s a good person.
The outside appearance is not a reason to friend or unfriendly anyone. Never judge a book by its cover and never look down on anyone for not having the same fashion sense as you. Some people don’t know they dress tacky and they absolutely love it. At the end of the day confidence is sexy.
What type of mom friend are you? Or are you a mixture of a few?
There are no wrong answers.