Money Saving Secret

Paying with cash will help you save money and with the money you save you can invest back into yourself. Whether that’s to take a class to develop your craft more, purchase more tools to grow your business, meet a personal financial goal, or save for a vacation. You’ll be surprised what you can achieve financially when you plan with a purpose, execute and put your money in areas that will bring you abundance.

On a quest to save money to fund my dream wedding I learned about the cash envelope system. The key of the envelope system is to budget your money using envelopes for different categories of your household expenses. It forces you to accurately budget your expenses every month and stop overspending.

Physically handing over your money and paying with cash helps you save money.

I’m all about saving money especially now that I have a wedding coming up. You don’t realize how expensive weddings are until it’s time for you to plan your own. Getting engaged is the easy part. Now planning a wedding is hard work if your goal is to plan a debt free wedding.

I refuse to spend my happily ever after trying to get out of debt so I went online and purchased envelopes from Luxury Lifestyle. Their fancy envelopes were a perfect match for my personality. I live for an anything practical that’s also over the top and cute.

I’ve been successfully budgeting my money for years now but since I started using the cash envelope system it’s allowed me to save money and take control of my finances. I’ve used the money I’ve saved to get out of debt and plan my wedding my way.

Today, I’m going to show you how to use the cash envelopes so you can save too. Since the system is visual it helps you track your expenses and see exactly how much money you have left over within your income.

Stop using credit cards so frequently if your not paying off the balance and not building any reward points.

How the envelope system works:

1. Think of categories that you spend money in.

2. Figure out your budget amount for each category.

3. Create and fill envelopes with cash.

4. Spend only what you have put in each envelope.

FAQ:

What are the advantages of the envelope system?

You become more disciplined in how your spend your money.

What if an emergency happens?

Shift your budget

What if you spend all your money?

Once it’s gone it’s gone.

What if I pay my bills online?

That’s tricky. The system works better when you are using actual cash but you can still write what you’ve budgeted on the back of the envelope and don’t spend anymore money than that.

Congratulations are in order if you have any money left over in your envelopes at the end of the month. That means your came in under budget. Reward yourself because it will motivate you to keep going or even better roll the money over into one of your categories so that your budget for next month is bigger.

Keep being intentional about how your spending and the envelopes will help you manage your money, beat debt and help your reclaim your life. What money saving tips do your practice that work?

#Moneysavingtips

#Envelopesystem

#Financialfreedom

#Debtfree

#Bossmommy

#Reclaimyourlife

The 34 Flaunt

Happy birthday to me!

I thank God for blessing me to see 34.

I feel like my thirty’s have been good to me and every storm that I went through was good for me. It made me the confident resilient women you see today.

Let me explain… in the last 4 years I’ve grown so much.

I’ve learned to forgive myself, forgive others, lighten up, stop stressing, be kind, be supportive, stop shrinking myself down, stop comparing, stay in my lane and be happy with what I have while working to get what I want.

I was so hard on myself for so long for not being farther than what I thought I should be. I had to realize God’s timing is always the perfect timing.

At 33, I completed my family with baby #3, I launched Bossmommyblog.com, I got engaged and my two eldest promoted to middle school and high school.

I am happy, loved and fulfilled for the first time ever.

With that being said I knew I could pray and have all the faith in the world but I had to kick it up a notch and stop sitting on my potential. I was fearful that I’d fail, that I’d embarrass myself and that others may not connect with me when I first toyed with starting Bossmommyblog.com but I did it scared. I put myself out there and I just did it.

I still have so much work to put in but the response that I’ve gotten in the small amount of time since I’ve started let’s me know so many people can relate and are rooting for me the same way I’m rooting for all my queens out there.

There are so many unfulfilled moms out there and and I just want to help them find their way but showing them how I do it. Be on the look out for more posts on motherhood and eventually vlogs or a podcast.

I’m ready and open to collaborating and helping as many struggling moms as I can. I’m trying to get my brand out there so I can make money and give back to organizations that help single mother’s.

I feel like having a partner lessens the load of a mother’s work and single mother’s have the greatest need for help and encouragement because it’s hard doing everything by alone. It’s physically and mentally draining carrying the load by yourself. They are some of the strongest individuals to take on parenthood by themselves and persevere through all of life’s uncertainty and not give up.

If you know of any non profit organizations that teach self esteem, empowerment, finances or give single mother’s help with resources that can help them stay stable for their kids let me know. I’d love to work with them.

It took me so long to get back to me after having kids and if I can help anyone like me who went through depression, doubt and loosing their drive and passion after they’ve had babies my purpose has been fulfilled.

I want every woman to live their greatest, grandest vision of their lives because if you can believe it you can achieve it. You can have it all! You can secure your peace and be in your bag at the same dam time.

More women need to boss up, glow up and feel empowered to show up without excuses and fulfill their wildest dreams with kids in tow. I’ll keep saying it until you read it and believe it, them babies deserve a mother they can brag about.

I believe when you trust your instincts as a women, know what you want and what’s good for you you’ll be more picky with who and what you allow in your universe. It takes a long time to rebuild your little world after having children so protect your peace. Sometimes that means doing things alone and being your own cheerleader although we’d all like help sometimes we can only depend on ourselves.

I’m all about girl power and always preach that you need to figure out who you are and know your worth because there will always be a hater trying to shrink you down because they can’t handle how big your dreams are but fuck em! Fuck with yourself heavy especially if no one else does.

The hardest pill I had to swallow was when I realized at one point I was my own worst enemy. I talked myself out of doing so many things but not this year I chose to keep fighting even when I didn’t feel up to it.

I’m a living testimony that you can overcome anything.

I was once a single mom, a welfare recipient, jobless, broke, bitter, depressed and overwhelmed with life. I didn’t think I could make it through until I decided to be strong, keep my head up, cut out toxic people from my life, stop doubting myself, left every negative thought in the past and moved forward in life determined to never feel that way again by leading with my best self. 

I grew to love myself and value my time, my love and my purpose.

All I really had to do was put in the hard work and make the sacrifices that most people aren’t willing to do and it changed my life. So if your reading this You just have to be intentional and patient. Everything eventually falls into place just do you boo.

Today, I’m taking control of my narrative and writing my happy ending. I can’t change my beginning but there are to many possibilities in life for me to stay where I’m at.

The sky is just the beginning because I feel like I’m just getting started fixing my crown and becoming the person I should have been along time ago.

I’m flaunting my new glow and it looks good on me honey. So shoutout to myself for not looking like everything I’ve been through.

My heart is so full as I reflect on my 33 years but especially the last 15. I was 19 when I became a mother. I was only a teenager but made the decision that everyday I have a chance at life I promise to my kids that I will continue to stand tall because of them and for them.

This beautiful journey with them by my side has given me strength and guidance when I was lost and every tear I shed was never in vain because in the end we made it here, but this isn’t where it ends. My story is still being written.

I’m stepping into my 34th year more driven and more determined to hustle harder and love even harder. My grind is personal. I refuse to go back to the old me who doubted herself or my old life where I was unstable now that I’ve gotten a taste of the good life nothing tastes sweeter than being unapologetically me and being able to show my babies that if mommy can they most certainly can.

I look forward to new doors and new opportunities in this new year.

#Happilyeverafter

#Ican

#34flaunt

#Thisischapter34

#Bossmommy

#Birthdaysentiments

#Blessingsonblessings

How To Celebrate A One Year Old’s Birthday?

Many people will tell you that it’s stupid to shell out all this money for a one year olds first birthday party that they won’t even remember and if your like me you won’t listen. Listen, it’s your child and if you want to make a big ordeal about them turning one do it.

Throw the party!

There’s no party like your child’s first birthday party. You can’t get that memory back so pick a venue, pick a date and send out invites right away.

They may not remember the party but turning one is a big deal and think of it like this you’ll be capturing the celebration with pictures for them to look at when they get older and they’ll have some pretty cool throwback Thursday pictures for them to post up in their social media when that time comes.

We all know if you don’t document it it didn’t happen. So snap away on the big day.

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Is this party for your kid or for you and your adult friends? These are legit questions to ask yourself. Do you want to celebrate surviving your first year of parenthood or is the party to show off how happy you are that your child is turning one?

Sounds crazy but truth is most first time parents don’t always have friends with kids they can invite so consider having it at a place where adults can have fun if your guest list consists of mostly adults.

If you decide you want your child’s first birthday party to revolve entirely around them and can’t decide what’s age appropriate for a one year old just think of kid friendly places that can accommodate your child’s nap schedule if you end up choosing a place outside of your home or even a place that’s fun for kids of different ages.

Good party ideas for a first birthday are house parties or any play gym with soft play mats but you don’t have to do anything tradition at all. Epic parties are unconventional and break all the rules. Just be sure to make the day magical.

Decide your budget.

I’ve seen some pretty ridiculous over the top 1st birthday parties and I’ve attended some really simple just cake and ice cream only parties. Both were fine. Everyone’s budget is different my only suggestion is know yours and stick to it. Don’t go broke trying to impress people who wouldn’t lend you a dollar if you really needed it. I’m just saying.

Pick a theme.

Deciding what to do for a one year old can be pretty hard because they are not really big enough to do most things and picking a theme can be overwhelming when there’s so many great creative options out there. If your stuck on picking a theme I highly suggest Pinterest. Pinterest has everything you could imagine. It’s such a great place to start for inspiration.

Pick a place.

Picking a place to throw a party is important because from there you can figure out what you need. Do you need extra tables and chairs, do you want to trim your guest list because you’ll be paying per person, or do you need to buy decorations and what not can be figured out just by knowing where your having it.

Outside vs Inside

When thinking about whether to do an outside or inside party consider if your child’s birthday is around the colder months will the weather ruin your vision. Will your guest want to be outside in the cold? Then in the hotter months consider shading and AC options. No one wants to sweat buckets celebrating at your child’s party.

I personally am leaning more toward venue spaces these days because I can add lots more decor and it’s eliminates the need for a back up plan in case the weather goes south. You just have to figure in time to setup the party and break everything down when booking because they usually charge by the hour to rent.

For me it’s all about ease, convenience and the small details that make a party special but it’s really whatever floats your boat.

If you like lots of decorations like me then choose an inside venue. When throwing parties outside you have more variables working against you like the weather and the public. The wind will have balloons and table clothes flying all over the place.

Another thing to consider about outside parties held at places like the park is the spaces are typically first come first serve. Meaning you have to stake a claim at the space you want early and do you really want that stress if someone is earlier than you and gets the exact spot you want? I suggest if you do go the park route find a park that allows you to reserve a gazebo so you don’t have to worry about to many what if’s.

Then there’s the whole parking situation. Will it be a hassle to park because the place you chose is popular and super busy hosting other birthday parties on the weekend? Driving around in circles looking for parking is a drag and will discourage your guest from coming from the gate if they know a place is known for terrible parking.

A perfect example of this is beach parties. I hate them. Finding parking is exhausting and I’m more likely to pass on your party unless you do like a bonfire at night when there’s low traffic and it’s easier to find parking.

Pick a Time.

You also have places like Chuck E. Cheese to choose from where parties are only allotted a certain amount of time and space. Where as at your house the party don’t stop until you say. It just depends on your preference and what’s important to you.

With little ones you have to consider nap time. There’s nothing worst than a cranky tired baby. I recommend scheduling parties later in the afternoon after their nap and another thing do not do their birthday party the weekend of their 1 year old shots. It will be your biggest regret. Kids never feel good after shots.

Plan ahead.

Planning ahead is always a good thing but the key ingredients to a successful party is good food and beverages, treats, entertainment, party favors and you can’t forget the cake. A lot of bakeries are now offering a free smash cake if you tell them the cake is for a 1st birthday party. I know Walmart does and I took full advantage of it so do your research.

Personalize your party.

I love personalization so I picked a Elmo theme for my sons first birthday because my son has loved Elmo since his dad first put it on his phone one day to get him to calm down but I also understand that as a parent you only have a few years to pick a theme until your kid starts making his own requests so go wild with your creativity while you can.

Decorations

Etsy is heaven sent in customizing your invites, banners, backdrops, water bottles and so much more. You no longer have to be an overachiever mom to throw an amazing party that all your guest will love. I will warn you though that the more DIY decorations you opt out on that outsourcing can get pretty pricey with shipping and delivery costs. So if you can do some of it that’s wonderful but if you can’t don’t beat yourself up about it that’s what Etsy is for.

Decorations ultimately don’t make a party the showering of love for the birthday boy or girl does. In my opinion, one year olds just want to be spoiled with love and toys. Don’t forget the only person who matters on the day of the party is your child.

Have fun.

I love making my kids birthday wishes come true so throwing them birthday parties is my favorite part of mommin’. The more extreme they get the more excitement I get in challenging my creativity.

If throwing parties isn’t your thing get an event planner. If your to lazy and don’t really care that much that’s fine too. It’s your party do you, just make sure you have fun.

No Regrets.

Nobody ever regrets throwing their kids a party but they do regret how much they spend. Whether you throw a big or small party be sure to celebrate your child 1st birthday and have fun so you don’t have mom guilt about it later if you don’t. Plus, you deserve the celebration as well you created, pushed them out and keep them alive a whole year. Pat yourself on the back momma. That’s a huge accomplishment. Festivities are in order.

Don’t forget!

  • Lighter
  • Knife to cut the cake
  • Candle
  • Phone charger
  • Lysol wipes
  • The high chair
  • Music

What advice can you think of that a first time mom might not think of to make her child first birthday go off without a hitch?

#1stbirthdays

#Partytime

#Momguilt

#Milestones

Women Are Some Kind Of Magic: My Birth Story

I’m a huge birthday person. Like a huge birthday person. I love celebrating my birthday every year. In my head my birthday is a national holiday. I dread getting older, but I love celebrating my birthday in some kind of grand way. It’s a Leo thing. Last year, as my birthday was approaching I was getting ready to fuck it up per usual, while being big and of course pregnant. I had my heart set on a glitter theme party and I was going to show up looking like a big, sexy disco ball. It was gonna be a hot glitter mess of a good time.

I decided on a good food spot to eat because what does a pregnant lady absolutely enjoy other than food, nothing. Then, I was going to make all my beautiful friends wear something shiny and sparkly so I could get a cute maternity photo shoot out of the deal.

I had the perfect dress and the perfect heels for the occasion and they are both still sitting in my closet waiting to be put to use because someone couldn’t wait to meet his mommy.

Side note: My daughter’s birthday is in my birthday month as well. Her birthday is 10 days after mine and now Kalvin is my almost birthday twin. His birthday is the very next day after mine. (It’s officially the Leos versus the Virgo in my house now. This is gonna get interesting...)

I think I started feeling Braxton Hicks about a month before I went into actual labor. I normally have a pretty high tolerance for pain but man those hicks are definitely unforgettable. The pain I felt was at first annoying and then unbearable. I’ve never experienced them in previous pregnancies.

I’m also usually not a complainer but those hicks hurt like motherfucker. Just the anticipation of those sharp pains gave me anxiety. They were so painful. They crippled me to the point where sometimes I couldn’t even move. I would have to just stop right in my tracks and let them pass before I could move again.

As they came more frequently I couldn’t wait to get the pregnancy over with. I became impatient. All I kept saying to Kalvin was stay in their until after the baby shower then he could make his arrival.

I had my whole birthing plan planned out too and of course nothing went as planned-go figure. I was fixated on having a vaginal birth. I guess I always felt some type away that I punked out with baby #2.

You see I was suppose to have a VBAC(a vaginal birth after a c-section) with baby #2 but chickened out. I was so vain with my first child and didn’t want a c-section, although I needed it because I didn’t want the huge scar that came with it.

My mom literally had to have a pep talk with me about being vain after the doctors explained to me that I’d need a c-section after 10 hours of labor and despite 10 cm dilated. I didn’t want one but I eventually had to cope with needing to have an emergency c-section.

The cord was wrapped around my baby’s neck and every time I had a contraction his heart rate would lower so having a c-section with my first child was the only way to safely get him here.

So I put my big girl panties on and did what was best for my baby. They gave me another epidural and next thing you know I was whisked off to the operating room. As soon as the drape went up to begin surgery I went completely numb. I was so drugged up and numb. I remember falling asleep in one second and waking up in the next with a baby.

I slept through the entire birth.

Once I healed I thought why would anyone ever go through regular childbirth when you can take the easy way out via the sunroof? In 30 minutes tops I had a baby and my vagina didn’t have to suffer. It was like magic. It was surgery but it was still childbirth. I never thought I’d be ok with it, but I was.

Having a c-section did however make me feel a little envious of moms who would talk about how after they gave birth the doctor would put the baby on their chest right away. For some reason it bothered me that I had been robbed of that precious moment.

When you typically have a c-section your not the first to hold your baby. Normally dad is or whoever is in the operating room with you. They just sort of put the baby up next to you so you can see him or her. To me it wasn’t a special moment like in the movies I’d seen.

I wanted that skin to skin contact. Determined to get that with my second I switched my OBGYN doctor when he refused to let me give birth vaginal. I found during this process that a lot of doctor don’t want you to do it. It can be done but I feel like most doctors try and push you to continue having c-sections if you’ve ever had one.

I got all the way up to my third trimester and changed my mind. I had nightmares that I’d tear from my vagina to my butthole the way my ex co-worker told me hers did. The thought of that happening to me in real life scared the shit out of me and I couldn’t do it so I made my peace that having a vaginal birth just wasn’t for me.

Fast forward 10 years later, third pregnancy, and thinking since this is my for sure last pregnancy let me attempt having a vaginal birth one more time. I had the pleasure of having the most understanding doctor at Kaiser Hospital. I told him my birth plan and he didn’t shut me down. We both mutually agreed we’d let my body determine which way I’d give birth because safety was a top priority.

My due date was September 4, 2018. Can you believe it? My son was suppose to be born on Beyoncé’s birthday. You don’t even understand how exciting that was to me. In fact, if I was having a girl I definitely was going to name her something beginning with the letter K like the rest of my kids and middle name Beyoncé. Duh. Who wouldn’t?! My friends would joke I might even get my child free concert tickets for life if Beyoncé found out I named my child after her But that was just wishful thinking.

While pregnant I watched all these birthing videos on Instagram and felt so empowered. Women are some kind of magic. If you don’t agree I suggest you watch one of them birthing videos because I get chills every time I see one. I watched one particular home birth where this women basically delivered her own baby. She basically snatched it out. It was pretty awesome.

When you think about how women have been barring children for ages and we just started really giving birth in hospitals and having epidurals it really shows our strength. Our ancestors popped out 10 kids in their living room with no pain medicine is crazy for most of my peers in my generation, yet it’s so beautiful that women are capable to do such a thing.

I know us women are naturally built for everything child birth entails but one thing I appreciate most about western medicine is that epidural. It is and will always be a blessing. I would never opt out of it. Sign me up indefinitely. I don’t want to feel anything. Drug me all the way up. After all, no one gets an award for having a baby without it. Bragging rights don’t mean anything to me if I have to suffer to get them. No ma’am I’ll take epidural, hold the morphine because I’m allergic.

I couldn’t sleep for 3 days prior to my delivery. My water bag was still intact, my mucus plug still hadn’t fell out but my contractions were so painful and keeping me up all night. During the day I tried to stay busy and not focus on them. I knew labor was coming but it wasn’t coming fast enough.

On my birthday, I went to work trying to be normal. I was in huge denial that I was ok and would be able to work because I got there and couldn’t move. The contractions were so strong and close together but not close enough to go to the hospital. My co-workers were like go home but I was scared I’d have a bad contraction while driving so I waited until I mustered up enough strength to go home.

That night I began to cry because I was so uncomfortable and in so much pain. I was at my limit. I made my fiancé drive me to the hospital because I thought it was time. They gave me some morphine and it toned down the contractions. Then they sent me home because I wasn’t dilated.

I still was feeling lots of pressure the next afternoon and I didn’t want to go to the hospital because my fiancé left town for business that morning since we both thought it was false alarm. We thought he’d have enough time to go do a turn around trip for work that was already planned and be back the next day. I wasn’t happy about that, but it is what it is.

I eventually broke down and got my mom to take me to the hospital and they kept me this time. They decided to monitor me and After some hours they could see I was having lots of contractions but I wasn’t dilating.

During this time my fiancé was trying to fly back and apart of me was hoping it was another false alarm so he wouldn’t miss the birth of our child but I was in to much pain that I couldn’t focus on that. I had my mom and sister with me and I knew I’d be fine.

They have me on video saying “if this is fake labor, I don’t want to see what real labor is” and that’s when I made the decision to proceed with my c-section. They tease me about how dramatic I am because of that all the time now but I don’t care I feel like that pain was intense and I was not overreacting at all.

The labor pains alone are why I never want to get pregnant ever again. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my enemy. I thought the more pregnancies you had the easier it got, but for me that just wasn’t the case. This by far, was my worst labor ever.

The meds weren’t working. The morphine broke my skin out and I felt contractions all the way up until I laid on the operating table. Then, to top it of my sweetheart wasn’t there to support me during the whole ordeal.

I was actually coherent through the whole c-section. I kept asking them, “Are you sure I’m numb?” I just wasn’t convinced. I was suppose to be sleep like the last two births. I couldn’t believe that I could see everything and hear everything.

Everything was taking much longer than I remembered in the past. Every minute felt like an hour. I could see the drape moving back and forth. I could feel the struggle in the atmosphere. I was freaking out. I was ready to see my little angel.

Then, as soon as my son was born everyone started moving really fast and no one was saying anything to me. I didn’t even hear my child scream until a couple minutes after birth. I panicked more.

Immediately after labor usually all your worrying and stress is gone and your in a state of euphoria but that wasn’t my case. I was freaking out. I needed all the details and I hadn’t even seen my baby. The doctors and nurses were moving like molasses. My sister did her best to advocate for me but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I felt frustrated, scared and I felt alone. I had just given birth and was pissed off at the fact that I couldn’t move and demand answers because I was numb from the waist down.

It felt like an eternity until they were able to share information with me about my newborn baby and I still hadn’t seen him. I was told he was rushed to the NICU because he had low blood sugar, was really pale and born premature. I was overcome with all different emotions as I processed this information yet my heart was full of so much love.

My tiny little human had just arrived and I already loved him just as much as I did his brother and sister. I just wanted to see him but I had to be monitored, again. Luckily, my sister sent me plenty of pictures and videos from the NICU. He was so handsome. He was PERFECT.

I didn’t get to physically see him until the next morning because after I delivered all the meds wiped me out. When I finally saw him and held him in my arms all my emotions gushed out. He was even cuter in person. He was mines. All mines and I couldn’t wait to teach him and show him everything.

Having children is my calling. Some women like myself are just meant to be moms. I know this about me without a doubt. That this is my purpose. I truly love it. All of it. I even crush on other moms I see out here killing it.

This mom shit is a tough ass 24/7 job but I wouldn’t be me with out my kids. I truly feel they are the best part of me. Since becoming a mom I feel more beautiful, more powerful, more motivated and more fearless. They bring out a kind of love my selfish ass never knew I was capable of giving.Despite the fact that my labor sucked the end reward of getting my beautiful child was worth it but like I said this one is the last kid I’m having (my third times a charm baby).

I feel like my family is now complete. The baby making shop is closed. Baby Kalvin will be one in 23 days. It’s crazy how fast time has flown. The days feel long but his childhood will go just as fast as the others did so I’m trying to just cherish each and everyday.

11 months down and a lifetime to go.

I was not prepared for starting over but the joy this little boy gives me is one of a kind. I love him to pieces.

His smile after an all nighter is so cute I can’t even stay mad. His laugh warms my soul. He’s super smart and already walking. Not to mention EVERYONE loves my happy baby. He captures everyones heart. He came at just the perfect time in our family. We all love him so much.

Salute to all the moms that are out here handling their business and taking care of their kids, at the same dam time. It takes a strong women to carry, give birth and raise a child. You are under valued but you are enough. Even when we fall short we are enough.

#proudparent #momof3 #Momsruletheworld #bossmommy #csection #sunroofbabies

How To Make Milksicles

Teething is a normal part of a baby’s development when their baby teeth are in the process of erupting. It typically occurs from 6-24 months of age and trust me you will know.

During this time your child will most likely experience discomfort due to tender and swollen gums, become irritable, go through tons of bibs from drooling, and try to bite on any and everything to relieve the pain. Oh and lots of crying.

Teething is a stressful time for you and your baby as you struggle to find ways to relieve their pain but thanks to one mom named Tasia Blackwell (same name gang 💁🏾‍♀️ so I like her already) who invented Milksicles there’s a solution to this challenge.

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I have the same 24 hours as anyone else and I maximize all of it or at least I try. When do I rest with 3 little ones you ask. Ha! What’s sleep when you have a newborn. If your a parent you definitely understand where I’m coming from. Even in mombie mode I’m taking care of business. Challenges arise all the time but guess what. I walk up to them confidently and say who gone stop me? Not you! And that my friends is how you take charge of your life. Be the boss of your life.

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Is breastfeeding for you?

Liquid gold, momma’s milk whatever you choose to call breast milk is God’s gift to babies. It’s really all a baby needs- a whole meal all in one but is breastfeeding for you?

From your very first prenatal visit you’re encouraged to breastfeed. Your doctor, nurses, friends, WIC, and even strangers will push you to breastfeed. All new mothers face the decision of should they breastfeed or use formula. Breastfeeding has many benefits for mom and baby but it also has its challenges.

Some challenges include finding a comfortable position for you and baby, knowing how frequently to feed, getting a comfortable latch, managing nipple tenderness, infections like mastitis, and having to breastfeed when you feel ill yourself. Also, it might just be inconvenient to your lifestyle or your the type that just doesn’t feel comfortable feeding in public if you have to and that’s fine. Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone.

It’s rough in the beginning but breastmilk is what’s best for babies, yet it’s not the only factor in an infant well-being. A mother’s mental health is quite important. A mother’s mental health can affect her child’s well-being. So if you or someone you know feels overwhelmed by breastfeeding formula feeding your baby might be what’s best.

Once you make your decision it’s also ok if you don’t stick to it. Do what’s best for you and your baby. The more you know about the benefits of breastfeeding, the more you’ll want to try it.

For moms on the fence about breastfeeding there are many benefits to breastfeeding. Some pros are that breastmilk is a natural medicine and can help with your child build a strong immune system. Breastfed babies are usually less sick, have less earaches, allergies and stomach problems.

Breastmilk is always ready at the right temperature. It tightens your uterus and for me it helped me get my “snap back” because you burn more calories breastfeeding.

Not everyone has the time or can produce breastmilk but if you can you will absolutely understand that the connection/bond you have with your baby during breastfeeding is priceless. Gazing in to each others eyes and building trust makes me grateful to be able to breastfeed and give my child that security that momma has always got them and will fulfill their every need.

Also, I’m always go go go go and breastfeeding makes me stop and enjoy the infant stage. It goes by so fast so I want to enjoy it while it lasts. I used to get annoyed by constantly having to whip my tit out but now I take as we both must have needed that moment to just rest and my attitude change has made the experience more enjoyable.

My favorite benefit is there is less buying, washing, sterilizing, testing and measuring of bottles or stressing about forgetting formula but by no means it it free or less time consuming. I’m tired of seeing the word free tossed around with breastfeeding when it’s not true. I really wish I had kept all my receipts for all the storage bags and replacement parts I purchased from the very beginning so I could show you guys how much breastfeeding cost me. Take it from me it’s not free.

Breastfeeding costs you money and time. It takes a lot of preparing ahead, sterilizing equipment, special supplies, and it’s only convenient in the middle of the night because even pumping at work takes a lot of time and effort.

The truth is breastfeeding demands significantly more work from mom than dad. This can be overwhelming for any mom so if you are considering breastfeeding I encourage you to talk to your partner and split up the other responsibilities like baths, diaper changes, and laundry.

That way you don’t get fatigue from waking up all hours of the night from feedings and running yourself low trying to do all the chores. This will stress you out and trigger depression. I know from experience because I feel like breastfeeding with no help in other areas caused some of my postpartum depression and I don’t want any other new moms to experience that because it’s awful.

Formula is a good substitute for breast milk but it is not equivalent. Don’t let your family or friends or even random strangers make make you feel guilty for whichever you decide.

Some will try and convince you that you have to breastfeed or that formula is bad but in all actuality your baby will let you know if they can’t digest the formula or if breastmilk isn’t filling them up. In the end their little fragile bodies really make the choice for us moms.

I hope my real take on breastfeeding vs formula helps you make a better informed decision on if breastfeeding is right for you. At the end of the day the decision is YOURS not anyone else’s. I’m going on 13 months breastfeeding and it’s definitely a labor of love that I’ve had to adjust my whole entire life around. I can’t give enough thanks to all my supporters who didn’t mom shame me when I breastfeed around them and my work who provided a encouraging and supportive atmosphere for me to continue breastfeeding when I returned to work.

My goal was to breastfeed for at least a year and I’ve surpassed that so I’m happy with that. Did you breastfeeding or formula feed and why?

#formulavsbreastmilk

#momminainteasy

#momproblems

#breastfeedingbadass

#momenough

Fourth Of July In Palm Springs

We wanted to make this Fourth of July special since we as a couple haven’t done anything to celebrate our engagement, so we decided on a vacation to Palm Springs. For our perfect little desert vacation we picked to stay at the Omni Rancho Las Palmas Resort and Spa right in the heart of city.

I’ve stayed at the Omni in San Diego before and was sure it would meet our standards and live up to the company’s brand. The weeks leading up to our vacation I hardcore researched on yelp and stalked their Instagram to make sure we had the best trip possible. From all my research I knew The Omni would be the ultimate Palm Springs resort and spa experience and an amazing place to get away.

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Why Beyoncé is Mom Goals

I finally watched Beyoncé’s Homecoming documentary and baby *in my New Orleans accent* I wanted to be back at Coachella again or should I say Beychella because she definitely took over Coachella last year. I’ve seen it three times in this last week and I still get the same chills watching it on Netflix that I got watching it live in person. That lady is amazing to watch.

Beyoncé is so fly, and possesses so much sass and grace. I love that she is a women who knows what she wants and is meticulous about executing her vision. The documentary is about the process of how she made history as the first Black artist to ever headline Coachella, with might I add an all black cast of over 200 people. It goes behind the scenes and shows what went into the unforgettable performance she gave showcasing Black culture.

Never underestimate Beyoncé.

The whole battle of the bands concept was straight fire. She is Black, she is proud, she is talented and whether you like it or not she’s going to give you black girl magic! Beyoncé does not play when it comes to her culture and her standards. From her vocals to her wardrobe-the vibe, the swag is impeccable. Every single person that was on that stage was hand picked by Beyoncé to help create a authentic HBCU vibe and tell a story. The story of a Black woman that refuses to be boxed in. She is mom goals af.

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Shit just got real! I said Yaassss

It’s been one week since I got engaged and it feels exactly how I thought it would feel-simply amazing. I’ve been smiling from ear to ear this whole week. Just happy, gloating and drunk in love.

I’ve literally been playing Beyoncé’s “Love On Top” in my head on repeat. Hitting the high notes and everything. LOL. I’m making sure it gets played at my wedding (it’s never to soon to start planning) because I’m obsessed with it right now.

The lyrics hit different when you know exactly what Beyoncé means when she says finally you put my love on top. Man oh man, like this post if you understand.

This love shit is work. It’s easy to be single and selfish. To be in a relationship is hard work but to be able to depend on someone is the best feeling in the world. A lot of times you are all you got so to find someone you can be unapologetically you with to go through life with is a game changer.

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