If your one of the non-Essential workers and are not clocking in to your 9-5 these days quarantine and read a book. In my free time I’ve replaced music with audiobooks and it has changed my life. I’ve always loved to read. I was raised by a reader. My mom has worked at the library for as long as I can remember. She always brought home books that were no longer in circulation and sparked my interest in reading.
A little fun fact about me is that I even thought one day I’d follow in her footsteps and my very first job was working at the public library when I was in high school. It was there that I fell even more in love with reading and realized how helpful books were. They can take you to a far away place, feed your imagination, help you decompress or feed your mind.
I remember obsessing over baby sitters club books. I even like biographies and non fiction and later had an erotic books phase in high school because back then that’s when Zane was poppin’. In college I dived into self help books. I realized while soul searching that books could be more beneficial than just for entertainment or researching information for an assignment. Everything you want to learn, change or become can be taught from reading a book. Authors dedicate their whole lives to giving up meaningful helpful guides that you can take something from just by reading inside the pages of a book.
As I got older I still enjoyed books but finding the time to read while taking care of my kids got in the way of my busy life that was until I learned about Audible an audiobook app. I love the feel of a book, turning pages and even using my little bookmarks but audiobooks have been the solution to being able to make time to discover new things. Instead of you reading, someone is reading the book to you.
You can listen almost anywhere while your doing chores, in the car, exercising, and running errands. It’s made it easier for me to do the things I need to get done and still make time to learn on the go and at my own pace. We all know life is a series of obstacle preventing you from reading a book but with all this free time on your hands why not quarantine and feed your brain.
Here’s a list of some good reads.
*Your a Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
*48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
*Contagious: Why Things Catch On by Jonah Berger
*The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
*Three Magic Words: Key to Power, Peace and Plenty by Uell Stanley Anderson
*The Spook Who Sat At The Door by Sam Greenlee
*The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir
*The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
*The Science if Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles
*There are no short cuts to e-commerce except these by Chris Zoe
Whether your lonely, need uplifting, help with a relationship or need to find the courage inside of yourself to live the life you dream there’s a book for you that will make you feel like your not alone. When you read you feel connected to a character, a common pain, a goal, a journey or pleasure that has the power to solve your problems. By taking what you’ve learned and applying it to your life you can help yourself but they only work if you do the actual work. Remember before you’re a leader success is about growing yourself.
Don’t be afraid to walk alone. Goals are personal. Stay on track and don’t let your 2020 goals be your 2021 goals. This is exactly what I had to tell myself this week because the CoronaVirus was messing up my rhythm. I felt like I finally had the time to research eye lash vendors in China. I found one that I love that’s affordable and has good quality mink lashes I would actually wear and now I’m fucking scared that they might deliver me some CoronaVirus. The irony.
I’m so ready to make some new money moves but I can’t be serving CoronaVirus to my potential customers. I got upset and stopped production. I’m usually an optimistic person but I just couldn’t help getting panicked that if I didn’t act soon I’d never get around too seeing it through. I even stopped using my time wisely since I was unwilling to compromise my product and was at a stand still.
Then I got to thinking I prayed for days like this to be able to focus on my dreams and now that the time is here and I had all the time in the world to go full throttle here goes the CoronaVirus throwing a monkey wrench in my timeline. I spent countless sleepless nights looking through catalogs, staying up to late to communicate with vendors since there’s a big time difference, and I finally figured out what I wanted to purchase but now I’m to scared to buy.
I felt defeated and I feared loosing momentum until I saw that quote on Instagram about tests are not to discover your weaknesses but to show you your strength. It’s like a light switched in my head. I changed my thinking immediately and began breaking down my goal. Then realized that after I had written down my to do list I was pretty much locked and loaded and ready to go. Meaning once the CoronaVirus is gone and everything dies down I’ll be ready to come correct.
New day, new goal.
Instead of worrying about what I can’t change I decided to dive in and design my box, packaging and etc so I can be able to precisely get what I want done when it’s time to customize it. Yeah, I could have just pushed on but I ultimately feel like it was a blessing in disguise because maybe I would have put it out and I would have regretted certain details. Now I can be proud of my finished product because I know 1000% everything was done by my standards and I didn’t settle just to beat my own personal timeline.
We all like instant gratification and I’m no different but I’m learning in this time to refocus on my vision so I can amplify it. Now, I have my next 3 collections already planned out. My Instagram reel about to be poppin. Plus I took the time to write out photoshoot shot lists. I’m not playing around. I’m so excited to share one of my passions with y’all. The moral of this story is to remind you to not let anyone or anything stop you. When Plan A doesn’t work or even Plan B that doesn’t mean give up.
You didn’t make the Forbes list today so get up.
It’s easy to get discouraged but self-love will make you so much stronger. I promised myself to stay committed to me this year. To put my goals first for a change and that means to keep going until all of my plans works. Like they say you have to move differently if you want different. So I didn’t let it affect my day and moved onto putting all my ideas to paper. That way I’d stay productive doing something that would help elevate my business in some way.
After all, I was meant to be rich I can tell by the way I spend money. LOL. Did you set your goals for the new year? Are you claiming growth, success, happiness and money? Tell me what you plan to do when when we’re free from quarantine.
I’ve been breastfeeding 18 months now and I either get props from supporters or the biggest stink eye from those that think that’s to old. The biggest misconception about breast feeding is that once your kid has teeth you should stop, and if your child is walking and talking and your still breastfeeding then comes the big cloud of judgement. People think somethings wrong with momma for her to be going so long like it’s a problem. There’s nothing wrong with me I’m just trying to feed my kid.
I’ve actually had people tell me that it’s sickening to breastfeed after one. I was baffled. People can be very rude some can be way to opinionated about how I choose to mother my children. You would have thought I asked for their unwanted advice. No matter what their opinions are I make it very clear that they don’t run my life and as long as my baby wants to suck up this love I’ll continue to breastfeed regardless of how they feel. I’m not worried about judgmental ass people anyway. All I care about is the well being of my child.
I’m a breastfeeding badass.
It’s sad that people forget that breastfeeding is normal. Do I wish this phase of my life was over YES but my baby still enjoys breastfeeding, especially at night. Now that we’re in quarantine he wants the comfort even more, but at school he eats solid food and drinks regular milk. He’s a happy healthy baby and if he’s to stubborn to give up breast milk that’s fine with me. At this point I’m a breastfeeding badass I’ll breast feed anywhere if my child is hungry.
I don’t even force him to quit either because I’d end up feeling guilty. What does bother me is the rough days when he is doing gymnastics, death gripping my boob, man handling my free breast and or digging in my nose while feeding then someone comes along with their nose in the air being negative instead of offering me support.
At this point he hasn’t bitten my nipple yet and I’ve mentally adjusted to his feedings. It doesn’t bother me that he’s not ready to stop anymore. I’m not on societies time limit nor do I feel the need to be private about breastfeeding my one year old. When I was a first time mom I cared what people thought. I was self conscious and embarrassed. Then when I had my second I began to care less. Now I’m like mine your own tits these babies are coming out whether the room is full or empty.
We all good over here.
I feel like when he’s ready to move on I’m right there with him. As for now we’re just in this together. We’re just winging it. Playing it day by day. Enjoying our time together. I wish more people understood that breastfeeding is not weird after one. In fact, it’s scientifically proven that the longer you breastfeed the smarter and stronger your child is.
Not easy but worth it.
I just seen so much backlash last week that Coco, the wife of rapper/ actor Ice T, is getting for still breastfeeding her 4 year old. I wish people would stop having an issue with such a natural thing. What do they think people did before formula, starve their kids? Historically breastfeeding has been apart of our history and I’m confused as to why it became such a shameful thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s a beautiful natural magical thing that women can feed their babies from their bosom. It’s irritating getting dirty looks or hearing people say “he’s to big” or “he needs to get off.” First of all, it’s none of your business.
I am so proud to be a woman.
My sons pediatrician is trying to get me to stop because he says that babies that are breastfeed after one start loosing weight but not in my case. My son is a growing boy and doing just fine in the weight department. I need to find a doctor that gets it. Last time I checked it’s recommended a minimum of 2 years to breastfeed your kid but when women practice extended breastfeeding everyone is shocked. Some people are so disturbed like you plan on breastfeeding your kid until they go to college or something. My child is still a baby and still in diaper it’s not like he’s school age and getting bullied for still breastfeeding now that I understand is just to long.
I try to block out all the negative and about the tons of support and encouragement I get most of the time. That is what makes me pretty proud. Other moms are impressed because if your a mom you know how rocky the beginning stages can be especially if you have latch issues. Then to return to work and pump and still manage to produce enough. While on the flip side being postpartum and even dealing with postpartum depression and fighting through the needs of your child before your own. So when I look back at my journey I’m even surprised where still going strong. The only way to understand the magnitude of the blessing of being able to breastfeed this long is to walk in my shoes.
For anybody passing judgement remember MY CHILD, NOT YOURS.
It’s not nasty or gross and I’ve even heard people take it so far to say incest. Smh. People are annoying. How many adults are still drinking milk from another species? Lol people hate my smart ass mouth. What’s funny it’s always that one person that isn’t a mother and has no experience that’s the first one to comment. I hate when non mothers think they know more than you. Like, girl have several seats. You not about this life. You have no idea either.
My breastfeeding shouldn’t offend you and if it does SUCK IT. Don’t look, keep it moving with you day but do not say anything obnoxious to me. This sleep deprived mom might give you the finger. My reply when someone is to stupid to mind their own dam business. It’s my lawful right to breastfeed anytime and anywhere. Don’t nobody got time to be pumping all the time to make you feel comfortable.
Stand your ground.
Go mommy go! Breastfeed until it no longer works for you both. I wish I could high five all breastfeeding moms and tell them how amazing and exceptional they are. Stay true to yourself. If this is something you want then push to continue on no matter what the haters and naysayers say or think.
Who else is on this breastfeeding journey with me with a child over one? How are you holding up?
As a new mom trying to figure out what you need on your baby registry is tough because there’s so many products to choose from. What will baby actually need? That’s a good question. Every year someone comes up with some genius idea to improve an existing baby product or a idea for simplifying, organizing or keeping baby entertained that you just must have. Some of them will make life easier, while others leave you feeling like you just wasted your money because your baby doesn’t even like it but it’s cute as hell and you had to have it.
There are so many baby gadgets and products to choose from at all price points. As a mom-to-be you can look all over the internet and find thousands of shopping list but you won’t find one like mine that will give you the honest truth of what’s a necessity (we’ve all fallen for a gimmick or two) and what you might just want because it’s nice to have. Here’s my baby list that’s practical, trendy and will tell you where to splurge if money is no object.
This humidifier is nice to have when your baby has a cough and is congested. It helps ease that discomfort. This machine in particular is awesome because it’s quiet. Nobody wants baby to wake up right?! Plus, it doesn’t need filters so you can save some of your coins by not having to purchase filters all the time.
2. Raw Shea Butter Baby Excema Cream-Nice to have
This is raw shea butter by ashes Moisture is great for babies with eczema or sensitive skin. I highly recommend. It keeps baby moisturized, soft and lessens breakouts.
3. The Cozy Cover-Need
The cozy cover is god sent during the winter months for moms on the go and great for transporting baby at night. It keeps your baby nice and warm and protected from cold weather. I appreciated this so much when it was raining. It’s water-resistant and stops the air from going into your child’s car seat. I think my son preferred it all the way zipped up and closed during nap time because he would sleep longer with it like that.
4. A Newborn Pillow-Nice To Have
My son’s uncle bought this pillow as a baby shower gift and my son loved it second to laying on my breast. I highly recommend this item or anything similar because anything that will aid in your child getting more sleep so you can get shit done is ultimately what you’ll need.
5. Learn and laugh with puppy walker-Nice to have
I swear this walker is what helped my son learn to walk so fast. He started walking at 9 months to the day. It helped build up his leg strength and made walking fun. It was fun and encouraging. What I like most about it is that he is still able to play with it now. He used it to sit and play as an infant and continues now to enjoy the music and hands on learning activities.
6. Dr. Brown Natural Flow Bottles-Need
There so many bottle options and the Dr. Brown are my favorite because they preserve nutrients in breast milk, decreases spit up and help with gas. Gas can make a newborns stomach upset which leads to a fussy baby. Therefore, getting bottles that help air flow save your baby from experiencing tummy pain from air trapped. Their Internal vent is ideal for colicky babies. Just make sure to properly seal your bottle so it doesn’t leak. Watch YouTube if your struggling.
7. Boppy Nursing Pillow-Nice to have
Even if you don’t breastfeed The Boppy Nursing pillow is great for making bottle feeding more comfortable. Since babies don’t have any neck strength when they are born these pillows are also very effective at propping baby up so you don’t always have to hold them. I’ve tried a few other baby pillows and this one will always be my favorite. I used mine for breastfeeding, tummy time, when I needed baby to chill out in one spot and when my baby was learning to sit up.
8. Evenflo Pivot Modular Travel System-Splurge
I say splurge on your stroller but only if it’s a travel one. The ability to pop and click from the car to your stroller will save you lots and lots of time when on the go. This stroller in particular is very versatile and appealing. It grows with your baby and has everything you need when your on the go. It has good storage space, a removable snack tray, and nice terrain tires. I loved the look and all the features of this stroller.
9. Teething Toys-Need
This 2-in-1 silicone teething pacifier is amazing it had multiple different shapes and sizes and really helped soothe my babies teething pain. Besides baby Tylenol a good teething toy will help with your baby’s teeth breaking through their gums. My sons aunt actually custom made his teethers but you can find similar products like these everywhere. I like these because you could connect these to his pacifiers, as well as his clothes for easy access for use.
10. Fisher Price Tummy Time-Nice to have
I am a big fan of the Fisher Price brand. They make good baby products to stimulate your child from day 1. I picked this tummy time because of the colors, teething toys and the fact that I could teach my baby to recognize a few animals.
11. Ready! Deluxe Baby Nursery Kit-Need
This box has 30 essential baby items you will need. I’ve seen a few varieties of this same concept but this one is the best. It has everything you can think of to ensure your prepared for you baby’s first year. It includes everything for health and grooming, from fingernail clippers to keeping track of your babies feedings and it comes in a nice little storage box to keep you organized.
12. The NoseFrida-Need
This product is a lifesaver. The best snot sucker ever. It literally gets all that snot out of your sick baby so they can breath easier. It is a million time’s better then those old school booger bulbs. It doesn’t harm the baby and is natural. A friend of mine recommended it to me and I can’t imagine life without one.
13. Fisher Price Infant-to-Toddler Rocker-Nice to have
This Rocker is great for hand and eye coordination plus it vibrates to soothe baby. It’s perfect for entertaining baby while your trying to get work done around the house. It’s nice that it’s washable and has lots of room for baby to grow. Now that he’s older he loves to watch Elmo in it.
14. The Baby Briefcase-Need
This baby briefcase helps keep all your newborn records and paperwork organized in one spot. It’s one of my favorite gifts to gift to new moms because I love using this. It’s nice to have a place you can keep your child’s birth certificate and important documents. It also cute and makes traveling with your baby’s stuff more convenient.
15. Swing-Nice to have
Swings are nice to have but save your receipt because I know a lot of kids that hated them even with all the bells and whistles. I like the swings closer to the floor because I can get down on the floor and play with my baby. I get paranoid about the ones in the air because with baby #2 when she got to big and could move I thought she could tip it over, which was pretty scary so I don’t buy them anymore.
16. Breastfeeding Cover-Nice to have
While you don’t need a cover up in public it’s nice to have some privacy sometimes. I used it a lot in public mainly around kids. I just didn’t want them coming up to me disturbing me and staring me down while I was breastfeeding. I even like the fact that I could change my baby’s poop diaper underneath without having to go to the bathroom.
18. Lulla Go Deluxe-Need
This bassinet was nice. I don’t like co sleeping with new borns. It scares me. I have this fear I’ll roll over and smother my baby so I just don’t take those chances. For a bassinet it is a must purchase. The great thing about this one is that it’s padded and the sides allow good airflow. The Lulla Go Deluxe is easy to move around and doesn’t take up much space.
19. Bloom Fresco Highchair-Splurge
This modern high chair was designed by dads. Who would have ever thought this eye candy would actually be as functional as it is. It comes in a few different colors and can be matched really well with decor if your thinking about a high chair that will look great in your dining area. I definitely recommend splurging on this item because it grows with the baby, meaning you’ll get a longer use out of it. What I like the most about it is that it adjusts to your table height so baby can enjoy dinner with the family.
20. Infantino Carry On Multi-Pocket Carrier-Need
If you plan on getting shit done get a carrier. Baby’s love being close to mom. With a carrier you can move and grove with baby strapped safely to you. As they grow you can turn them around and they love watching the world around them. The best feature of this carrier is the quality. It’s very thick and sturdy material. I felt like the straps were very secure because you can adjust them to your comfort. I even liked the color and the many pockets to put my keys and debit card when running quick errands. Using a carrier is more convenient in some cases. I personally liked having the option to bring both my carrier and stroller so if my baby didn’t cooperate in the stroller I could strap them to me and move around hands free. My only recommendation is that before you buy one try it on.
21. Cashe Crib-Splurge
This crib is beautiful. I absolutely love it but it is not a necessity. You will need a crib but this crib is on the higher end. I just wanted it because of the look I was going for with my baby’s side of the room. It matched perfectly with the wall decor and the other furniture in my room. Very good quality and super easy to put together if I did it with no help.
22. Skip Hop Moby Smart Sling 3-Stage Tub-Need
This tub is versatile. It grows with your baby through three stages. My son loves it and I do too. It gave full support when he was an newborn and seated support as an infant. Now he enjoys it without the sling and lots of bath toys. I like that it has a hook that you can hang it up on your shower rod when your finished to let it air dry and get it out of the way.
I use the diaper genie for mostly poopy diapers. It helps eliminate the smell. I keep it in my room next to the changing table so I can easily dispose of my diapers. Most newborns go to the bathroom hourly and taking a poopy diaper to the dumper outside your house just isn’t feasible all the time. I’ve used this product with every child and will always put this on my baby registry.
If your breastfeeding you definitely want to invest in a good breast pump because it will be your best friend for the next year or so. Splurge on one that is easy to use, easy to travel with, quiet and works. I went through a few different ones until I found the Spectra. It is by far my favorite. It doesn’t need a zillion parts to function, it’s gentle on your nipples and barely makes a peep.
25. Tory Burch Diaper Bag-Splurge
Once you become a mom your diaper bag will double as a purse so get you a cute one you can be proud of. I went with a black Tory Burch diaper bag because it was fashionable but practical. It had compartments for everything I needed and came with a changing pad. I get so many compliments from other moms. I definitely feel like this was one of my best purchases because I love it that it matches my style. As a mom we give up so much but this item represents me as a mom. It says mommy hasn’t lost herself.
I fell in love with the Kiinde system when it was time for me to go back to work. The milk storage bags can be attached to any breast pump, then after pumping can be converted straight into a bottle that you can later dispose. This is the best system I’ve used as a pumping mom. Also, in unlike other bags I felt like I could see how many ounces I actually pumped. The best part is after a long day of work I didn’t have to clean bottles.
Babies skin is so sensitive that you must wash all their cute little clothes in hypoallergenic laundry detergent to make sure you don’t irritate their skin. Dreft is a brand that I trust to be gentle on my kids skin and I make sure I stockpile this stuff. You just never know when your little ones will have a blow out. Trust me you’ll be washing daily and be glad you got this. It’s good on all types of fabrics and formulated specifically for kids.
28. Infantino Go Gaga! Musical Travel Bar Activity Toy-Nice to have
This toy entertained my son when he was in his car seat. I highly recommend this toy especially for long car rides.
29. Evenflo ExerSaucer Activity Center-Need
If you can’t tell by now I’m all about getting all your moneys worth and this entertainment center is worth it. It helps baby get exercise, has plenty of activities to keep them busy and there’s a snack tray on it. My son drooled a lot on this toy and I like that it was easy to wipe off. It has three adjustable height settings and will give you more time to be hands free.
30. Dapple-Nice to have
I was gifted this soap and appreciated it. Using it made me feel good about my babies bottles being nice and clean.
Babies need so much stuff right?
Baby stuff can be pretty pricey. Kids are expensive enough let’s not waste our money buying things you don’t really need. This baby list should clear up what’s actually worth spending your money on. What products did you buy after reading this post and fall in love with? Let me know.
With all this CoronaVirus pandemic madness going on I hope we all take away from this whole mess that we should always have a family emergency plan. The most useful resource my job actually gave me was to think about having a plan. In our case right now we must focus on staying safe and staying healthy so that we don’t spread the virus anymore because it may be just like the flu for some of us but for our older population it’s more fatal and can cause death. Those aged 60 and older are most at risk.
Not planning is really planning to fail. Be prepared.
Don’t ever think you won’t need an emergency plan. Tsk.tsk. ALWAYS have a family emergency plan. You want to make sure under any unplanned circumstances or natural disasters you can survive at least 72 hours. I’m not sure why people are buying so much toilet paper right now. If you do end up quarantined the amount of toilet paper I’m witnessing people buy is absurd and unnecessary. The government sure does know how to scare people and distract them. I do believe that the government is creating mass hysteria to cover something up while the elections are proceeding but I won’t talk about politics in this post. That’s for another day.
Let’s not panic but prepare rationally.
I’m definitely not as worried as many others but I’m not complacent either and that’s only because I’m prepared. I’m not just buying up shit because everyone else is. I think majority of the world that’s panicking and stockpiling are causing others to do the same which is causing the need for stores to limit the number of items people can buy. Let’s think smart people. In the state of any crisis what do we really need and what should we be concerned with. This post is not intended to stress you out or downplay what’s going on but actual help you make a family emergency plan that will work in an emergency.
The other day I went to Target to buy my son some wipes and the whole aisle was wiped out. There was barely anything and completely no wipes. Since there’s a toilet paper shortage people are going after the next best thing, wipes. They’re not even considering that us mother’s actually need them for day to day life. Then, when I went to Costco there was no bread. Like how many sandwiches do you think you’ll survive off? Just odd. I get hand sanitizer and even canned goods but bread.
Nows the perfect time to make a big batch of your favorite soup and freeze it. If your going to buy stuff think about if you get the CoronaVirus what would you need to get through it. Buy humidifiers, Kleenex, cough suppressants, probiotics, vitamins, Vic vapor rub, regular masks (you don’t need the N95 masks), Ibuprofen for fevers and sore throat, and lots of water to stay hydrated. Do not go to the ER unless you can’t breath. I know that seems not normal but you don’t want to spread it and they’ll quarantine you anyways so I recommend calling 911. They will help you get the help you need if your in distress without exposing others to the virus.
Tip: Don’t forget to get refills on your inhalers off they are expired or about to expire.
Please be careful and take care of yourselves!
Besides staying away from large gatherings or events, traveling unless it’s business critical, and properly washing your hands, and covering your mouth when sneezing to prevent the spread of the COVID-19 your plan should also include evacuation routes (even a back up one), copy of important documents, inventory of your home’s possessions, a family contact, person and disaster kits that’s portable.
You want to plan as if all services are unavailable and practice every 6 months to keep the plan refreshed in everyone’s mind as well to make sure that you’ve inspected all your kits so that nothings expired or no longer working. If you have pets or service animals don’t forget to make sure they are included in the plan too.
Tip: Make sure every family member knows their role in an emergency.
If you see any businesses trying to price gouge during a state of crisis and take advantage of desperate people please report them because that’s just not right. Some people just have no morality smh.
If your a fashionista who had her heart set on dressing up her daughter (it’s ok to have a preference) but recently found out your having a boy don’t be down you can still have fun dressing up your little boy. I promise. Dressing boys can be fun. Why let all the girl moms have all the fun.
I feel like with girls they are so catered to. There’s 50 million stores and websites catering to little princesses while with boys it pretty slim pickings. You have to try a little harder and search a little longer to find the right piece to put together a cute outfit but it can be done.
People always stop me and compliment my son on how cute he is. Partly because he’s handsome and partly because I dress him up really trendy. I’m one of those moms who wants my baby to stay a baby forever but I don’t dress him like a baby. I like big boy clothes on my son. I’ve given my style the name “little man swag” since I think my son looks like a little man child when I’ve put my touch to his appearance.
In case your wondering where I shop I’ve got an awesome cheat sheet with the top stores that I personally go to for different occasions to dress up my son. I believe just because my son is a baby doesn’t mean he can’t be fly. Your kid is a reflection of you so therefore my son must stay on point no matter what his age.
We can all agree that even if you don’t have time to look your best your child should always look his. It’s just an unspoken motherhood law. If your like me and want your child to make a statement with his clothes take a look at my favorite stores for dressing up my stylish boy.
I stopped shopping at H&M after the whole monkey on a shirt deal but then changed my mind when I realized although the company definitely needs some ethnicity on their design team who would have spoke up and been like I don’t think that’s going to translate well for my people it was ultimately the parents fault. There’s no way I need a check that bad that I’d let my son wear a cutest monkey in the jungle shirt. I would have politely grabbed my child in walked off set of another option wasn’t offered. Not to mention I’m to much of a helicopter mom to have let that slid.
Unfortunately, the situation happened and I think H&M heard us African Americans who sighed and rolled our eyes at their failure to see what was wrong. I’m empowered by a lot of thing but being called a monkey isn’t one of them. Aside from them dropping the ball on that project their clothes are nice. I’m actually a fan. I consider there clothes cool urban street clothes.
I love my kids in a fresh pair of shoes from Footlocker. Sometimes I’ll spend more on a shoe than an outfit. I don’t care if that sounds stupid but I’m a shoeaholic and shoes matter. They can really make or break your outfit. Buying shoes are my favorite part of being a boy mom. Boys have so many unique designs to choose from that can really highlight an already dope outfit. Maybe I’m a lot over the top but why not. Little boys shoes aren’t that expensive compared to what I pay for my 14 year old. These days I can’t get a decent shoe for my teenager whose in men shoes for start no less than in the $80 range. I guess I’m just used to paying that much now.
I’m a Nordy’s girl through and through. Nordstroms is a store I can rely on to have all the top trends and popular name brands I like. I’m a card member so I probably shop there to much but I just love the selection they offer. I do a lot of online shopping between Nordstroms and Nordstroms Rack which has the great brands you can expect from Nordstroms but better prices.
Tip: When online shopping I only pay full price for items if shipping is free. If not I’d rather puck it up from the store because I hate waiting.
I like Macy’s for Polo, boy suits and for this clothing brands like First Impression and called Okie Dokie. Okie Dokie is moderately priced but they have stylish clothes. I don’t really like busy looking t shirts. I like plain basics joggers and T-shirts and when I’m going for that look Macy’s is where I go. I also prefer Macy’s when I’m looking for last minute clothing because they have same day pick up in store which is so convenient for me. It takes the hassle out of not knowing if what I purchased online is going to come in time for my specific event or occasion.
Gap for children is typically pretty expensive (except to pay upwards of $30 for a pair of baby pants) but if you know how to shop there sales it makes it more affordable. I absolutely love the quality of their clothes especially there jackets and bottoms. I match there bottoms with different shirts all the time. I love when I catch one of there sales on their already discounted clothes. When that happens I swear I load up on all different sizes. Even if my son can’t fit it now I will get bigger sizes because the sales are to good to not buy. I’m talking $3-5 dollars for shirts sometimes. You can’t beat those prices. Eventually he’ll fit in them. It’s nice to know that I can find great quality clothes that can hold up at school and still be worn on the weekends while not having to spend an arm and a leg on his wardrobe. Ya’ll know I like to spread my coins out. I’m all about bargain shopping and getting the most out of my money.
If you’re ever looking for matching outfits for the entire family Old Navy is excellent at having everything you need. They always come through clutch when I’m trying to coordinate everyone’s outfits for pictures. It helps that I’m apart of there rewards program because I score major deals all the time. They send out lots of good coupons and deals straight to your email weekly so you don’t miss out. That’s how I always luck up on sales and use my Old Navy Cash for extra discounts.
I just discovered this place and I’m obsessed. I love whoever their buyer is. They are my kindred spirit. They literally make the best comfy, fun swag apparel. The have the perfect pieces for threenagers and up. I just picked up there hip ice cube shirt last week. There clothing hands down has so much personality. You have to go see for yourself. Sorry in advance for your new guilty pleasure because once you start shopping there you can’t stop. Every time I go in there I see something my son has to have from luxe shirts, distressed jeans to moto jeans. They really thought about our boys and didn’t leave them out.
I like Oshkosh more for infants. Oshkosh and Carters are the same company but Oshkosh is the higher end brand. Oshkosh B’gosh has been around for it seems like forever. I wore there overalls all the time as a kid. They have the cutest onsie sets that come with matching hats and even socks sometimes. There style for older children is preppy. Very clean cut but really adorable. I gift a lot of there products as baby shower gifts because they are very fashionable and practical. You always need hella onesies.
I recently started shopping at this store because my little cousin worked there and could let me use her employee discounts. She no longer works for the company but I still shop there because I like their selection of popular brands. The sell more shoes than clothes but I like shopping there mainly for clothes for my son. They sell a lot of vans, adidas clothes, and exclusive stuff I don’t see anywhere else. I love that. I like when my son looks original and not wearing the same popular clothes displayed at the store that every parent eyes and buys. I like breaking the rules and dressing my son unique. I want my kid to go to day care and not look like a replica of every other kid his age. My kid gotta standout and have swag like his daddy.
This is the store I shop at the least for my son. It’s hit and miss. When you hit, I mean find something you like your sure to get it for a great price. This store tends to be a bit messy all the time so be prepared to scavenge through what they have. It’s organized chaos but still chaos. I literally have to prepare myself to look for the brands that meet my personal style expectations but it’s often worth the struggle.
Tip: If you fall in love with anything at Marshall’s don’t leave it behind. Purchase it because you may never see it again they constantly have new inventory and once it’s gone it’s gone.
Play around with your sons style until you find his signature style. Before you know it they’ll have their own personal style, so have fun playing dress up with them while you can. I listed 10 stores you can find in the mall most of the time but venture out on the World Wide Web they have gotten us that us moms need more trendy boy clothes and are springing to the rescue. Just make sure the company has good reviews before purchasing anything.
If you been following my blog you know that I’ve been on my Dave Ramsey ish for a while now. I’ve been really making a conscious effort to gain financial freedom and saving has been a big part of my journey. It’s helped me get out of debt and invest into myself. It’s given me more freedom and security, both of which I’m obsessed with. The piece of mind in knowing I now have options has relieved a lot of the stress in my life I used to have.
Money is important. It affects everything in our lives.
Money effects your attitude, your family, your marriage, where we live, who you associate with, and what you can do with your free time. The more I learn about money the more I get to help YOU. I’m forever trying to learn and grow. It’s a bonus that I get to help y’all out so together we can live our best lives because having freedom and options is much more fun then stressing over the affects of not having enough money.
Budgeting isn’t easy. I want to support and guide you if I can. We get comfortable living the same broke thinking lifestyle that got us into debt and forget we are the masters of our universe. We can beat our financial struggles if we budget accurately and live within our means. I call it thinking broke on purpose. It takes learning to have contentment because money isn’t everything but it is a down payment for happiness. It takes guts and a whole lot of self love to stay disciplined enough to save when we’ve been programmed to be consumers and spend, spend, spend.
Manage your money don’t let it manage you.
Here are a few ways that I’ve been able to save a dollar are two:
1. Cancel memberships and subscriptions. You don’t need Netflix, Hulu, Firestick and Disney Plus. These subscriptions are great alternative to cable but will only save you money if you on have one. No point in giving up cable if your going to just buy every subscription known to man and pay about the same price. The goal is to save isn’t it? Also, that gym membership your not using cancel it. That makeup subscription let it go. You have enough. All those, small subscriptions fees add up so if you aren’t actively using them or need them get rid of them.
2. Electricity. Find out your electric company’s peak time and devise a plan to only use what you need by unplugging appliances you don’t use regularly. Choose to read or play games over watching TV. Go to bed early. More sleep is always needed. Use fan instead of the AC. Turn down the thermostat. Also, I know state to state varies but look into what programs they have to get utility assistance or sign up for any rewards programs.
Rule of thumb if it has a light on it’s costing you money.
3. Phone bill. Phone bills suck but phone are one of those things where it doubles as my computer too so it’s a non negotiable for me. It has to be paid. I do a lot of business on my phone so I need a good cell phone provider and a smart phone but for other members in your family consider comparing group plans for cheaper prices or cheaper phones. Phone bills add up quickly and one of the reasons is because you could be paying for services you don’t use get rid of them ASAP to get your phone bill down.
Another way to cut your bill down is going with phone company’s like Cricket or Boost Mobile. These companies offer services for a lot less. They are ideal if you only have basic needs like sending texts and making phone calls which is perfect for small children. They typically don’t need a IPhone or the latest Samsung Galaxy they just want to play games and watch YouTube.
4. Eating Out. Sometimes cooking food at home requires a lot of time that some of us working moms don’t have. It’s easier to just slide through the drive thru of your favorite fast food drive through and pick up something for the whole family. It’s best to stay away from restaurants altogether if you want to save some money. Join me on my eat at home challenge.
You’ll save major coins by meal prepping or having knowing what meals you want to cook in advance and taking your leftovers to work. If that’s to hard just pick one designated day that you can eat out like only fridays.
5. Coffee. Moms we are not giving up coffee because let’s face it we need our boss mom fuel. There’s entirely no way we’d be able to get through the day without it. I do recommend cutting Starbucks out of your daily routine. I know people who go to Starbucks multiple times a day and go for for venti or even the secret size trenta.
I have chosen to replace Starbucks with 7-11 coffee and I enjoy my caffeine now for more than half the price of one Starbucks cup. Finding an alternative coffee habit helps a ton with saving. Even investing in a good coffee maker will help you save a good chunk of money too. Give it a try and watch your saving fund go up.
6. Name brand items. We don’t need name brands but we like them. Try using generic products over name brands and see which ones you like. Some you will and some you won’t but most are great. When it comes to food in a blind taste test you probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. The bottom line is the saving are real.
If your kids complain about the switch trick them and put the generic option in the name brand container or package. Don’t tell them you got it from me though. LOL. I love my labels just as much as the next but unless I catch a sale, have a discount code or gift card I’m not paying full price for it.
Consignment shops are a great option for label lovers because you can get gently used name brand items for less. I believe you can make a statement in anything that you wear. Whether it’s from Target or Gucci you make an outfit. I’m a big high low girl. I mix and match what I like and put together great ensembles just fine. I personally think once you learn how budget shop fit name brand items you realize you can still be fly and in fact it’s even more satisfying.
7. Entertainment. Be frugal with your entertainment. You don’t have to spend lots of money to have fun. I love spending time with my kids and finding free activities around my city. My go to place is the library. They seem to always have an event going on. Take advantage of the library in your city, recreation centers, parks and make it a point to not spend money or if you do very little if it. A few suggestions I have are going to happy hour where drinks and appetizers are quite less than dinner. Exploring the outdoors is the number one way to save. Get creative and have fun without breaking the bank. Doing outside activities like hiking will cost you nothing.
8. Shopping. Limit shopping to need vs want. Think about what you really need and if it’s worth spending money that you could be saving instead. If it’s a “hell yes” I absolutely need it to function grab it, but if it’s a “it’s nice to have” but I don’t need it put your debit card down. Every time you get to urge to spend pause for a second and see if you get that same feeling after thinking about after 5 minutes. Usually that rush goes away.
Stay away from Costco, Hobby Lobby, Homegoods, Target or Walmart when your trying to save because those stores will gobble up your money in a heart beat. You’ll go in for toilet paper and by the time the cashier has finished ringing you up you’ll want to fall out from the total.
9. Groceries. Make a list. Only shop with a list. This will help you stay on budget.
Money is really important and you should manage it well. I budget because it has changed my life. By budgeting I’m able to put my money to good use. I’m trying to elevate. I want to buy a house soon. So for me budgeting has helped me get my credit score where I need it to be so that I can get a lower APR and be able to save for a larger down payment to put down.
One of my big goals after purchasing a house is to pay it off and be mortgage free within 10 years. God willing it will happen but I know that it will take a lot of sacrifice which is why I’m starting with baby steps now. I’m trying to change my lifestyle now because I value accomplishing my goals more than I value material things or temporary happiness. Saving money isn’t easy but definitely worth it.
What are so freaking excited about? Why do you want to budget? I want to cheer you on. I believe in you! Let’s up-level together.
Cards and candy are a given and are expected on Valentine’s Day. Let’s kick it up a notch this year and buy gifts for Valentines that have sentimental value and will be used all year around (I absolutely love gifts that are not basic and I can use pretty regularly) or do activities with your loved ones that create memories that last a life time.
Valentine’s isn’t just another day. Every year I hear people say it’s just another day because they celebrate Valentines everyday-I call bullshit. In my house it can’t be done. We’re to busy with work, life and everything in between that we have to pencil quality time in. Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays we always celebrate to make sure we let our loved ones know they are loved and appreciated, by making the day or weekend of special. That way there’s no doubt the love we have for them.
Of course we date all through the year our kids, ourselves and our significant other because that’s important to keep those bonds strong. Yet on V-day we go the extra mile. If you haven’t put much thought into your plans for tomorrow or this weekend. Here are are super cute ideas to spread the love and keep your love life spicy.
Valentine’s Day outfit –Old Navy has 40% off Valentine’s Day theme shirts for all.
Build-A-Bear- This is a great idea for younger children or any one that has recently lost a love one because you have the option to customize your bear and even add a voice message to it to cherish for years to come. Also, if you have more then 1 kid they have two furry friends for the price of one right now.
Dessert- Celebrate your love over a Cold Stone delicious ice cream treat. The fudge truffle decadence ice cream cake has layers of red velvet cake (my favorite).
Dinner and a movie
Weekend getaway- Whether it’s requires a plane ride or a getaway at near by hotels or even Airbnb, switch up the atmosphere this Valentine’s Day and make love in a new place. Keep it hot, keep it spicy!
Romantic Dinner at home
Designer Du Rag-I know Designerrag.net has some pretty dope stuff your the fashionista in your life.
Wear something sexy
Jewelry- There’s still time to get jewelry at Kay’s . Don’t have the money now don’t trip they offer 12 month financing. Plus $25 off purchases of $99 or more when you sign up for their email subscriptions. No excuse propose or get a gift your significant other that they can’t stop gushing over.
Personalized Gift- I’m obsessed with The Brand Ave couple sets. They have the cutest apparel for couples to express and show off how in love they are.
Gift basket of their favorite goodies
Paint and sip- Do something you’ve never done before. Check out Groupon they some really good affordable deals for couples interested in doing paint and sip.
Pay a bill
Splurge on an expensive item you’ve been eyeing for a while (Purse, shoes, makeup, cologne)
Go out with friends
Hooters -Shred a picture of your ex and if you order 10 wings Hooter give you an additional 10 free boneless wings.
Disney land is always a great idea. Disneyland on Feb 12 or 13 has a Disney AfterDark: Sweethearts Night where they sell limited release merchandise, have special meet and greets, themed food, exclusive photo ops, a fireworks show, special keepsake for attendees or you and bae can dance the night away to a live band or a DJ. Kids can even go to this event.
Heart shaped pizza –Papa John’s has a really good special and shows how much you really care.
Go to a restaurant -I’m a sucker for a fancy dinner and Ruth Chris has the best steak and lobster Mac and cheese I’ve ever had. Ruth Chris is my go to special occasion restaurant. They currently have the porterhouse for two starting at $129z
Fun activity-K1 Speed is a fun, unique activity for the whole family.
This Valentine’s Day spend some time with your kids. Love is spelled with time. This goes for your boo too. No matter how long you’ve been together a date with him or her is what every good relationship needs. Don’t forget to WOW them. Remind them why you’d choose them over and over again.
This week if your single, date the number one person in your life YOURSELF. This day is not just for lovers. Do something you love. Take care of you.
If you take advantage of any of my ideas please share how the day turned out. I love hearing all you guys responses.
I was going to post this for TMI Tuesday but my phone was tripping. A day late but here it is. I’m not sure why no one is talking about bladder incontinence during pregnancy and after childbirth and how doing kegal excersizes can help prevent the occurrence but lucky my friends you have me. Let’s talk about what we only usually talk about in our inner circle.
The 411 on your pelvic floor.
I feel like at this point it’s time to add bladder incontinence to the long list of secrets no one tells you about motherhood but you wish you knew before hand. The sudden urge to go pee and how a hard cough or deep laugh will trigger a little sprinkle of pee. It is definitely embarrassing and annoying. What’s even worst is when you experience this in public or at work and don’t have extra undies. Not cool.
As many of you know I work in the dental field and I always tend to feel pressured to hold my pee to stay on schedule. Sometimes it’s nearly impossible and I experience leakage. Yes, I said it I experience leakage. Yes, I’m human just like you. It’s awkward and embarrassing all at the same time even if nobody knows but me.
I had 3 c-sections so I was sure my vagina hadn’t changed to much except for the fact that I always had to use the bathroom. Then you add the fact that I like to drink water because I swear it does my skin wonders to the mix, and that is how the bathroom became like my second home. The faintest sensation that I had to pee was more like an urge. I couldn’t hold it for shit so for damage control I’d find myself emptying out just in case to prevent myself from having to go pee while knee deep in assisting in a crown prep.
I didn’t think there was anything I could do about it until I found a new product on the market called The Perifit. It’s a kegal exerciser that comes with an app. The app features a game that you can play to strengthen your pelvic floor. The more you play the stronger it gets over time.
Flex that muscle, sis.
In 2020, we didn’t get spaceships flying around like in the Jetson’s but we did get the ability to strengthen our kegal muscles while playing video games. Aren’t we ladies lucky? I’m so proud to be apart of this technologically advanced era. It definitely has its perks.
The Perit Fit is way better than those wacky yoni eggs, kegal weights or balls that you’ll be into for like a week then be over it. It’s a kegal excersizer that makes training your pelvic floor fun and entertaining. It’s helped me control my bladder at work and improved my muscle control in the bedroom. Who doesn’t like a product that kills two birds with one stone?!
It’s amazing the results I’ve seen.
Side note: There’s nothing like starting or ending your day with a big fat O. Yeah everyone is to scared to talk about sex and pleasure but not me. If I’m having engaging in intercourse I want to be satisfied too. The Perifit is just what us ladies have needed to take sex to the next level. I’ve been my bae over 15 years and I’m always down to try something new to boost our love life. I’ve been using the Perifit for about three weeks and I’ve already been recommending it for better organisms.
So here’s the scoop.
All you do is purchase the product here. Download the app. Connect your phone to Bluetooth. Relax. Insert the Perifit. Pick a training program. Then, imagine that your pelvis is a muscle like a jellyfish contracting and expanding as it swims.
Disclaimer: I love toys and gadgets in the bedroom and if your not comfortable sticking things up your woohoo then ummmm you might not like it, but for the adventurous ladies like me it’s nothing but a big tampon. It’s super soft, easy to insert (please clean first) and even has a string like one for easy removal.
Don’t worry if it’s awkward at first because the app will walk you through it and even has a few practice rounds that you can manually train before actually getting started. You’ll know your doing your kegals wrong because your Perifit will slide out. If it doesn’t slide out your doing it right and can begin playing once you feel comfortable.
In the game there’s about 5 levels to unlock, different themes and music to keep it interesting. You become a butterfly flying in the mountains collecting coins that look like lotus. To get the coins on the top of the screen you have to tighten your pelvic muscles. To get the coins on the bottom of the screen you want to release your grip and relax your muscle. It’s super simple.
My favorite feature on the app is that it tracks your progress. That’s super important to me because I want to know is it working and how much I’ve improved. I started with the stress incontinence and I’ve moved on to intimate well-being. I did notice a difference in where the coins were place and could tell each setting focused on different strengthening methods.
Once your done playing clean off your Perifit and put it back into the box. Just make sure to turn off the battery but in case you don’t remember the app will actually remind you even though it brags that it has a 10 year battery life. LOL. Woohoo to 10 years of no more leakage. It’s common but it’s not normal and we are going to stop normalizing it today.
It’s recommended that you play at least 5 minutes a day or at least 30 minutes a week. Trust me it seems like a lot but for competitive people like myself it’s fairly easy to exceed that. I find myself hitting the play again button a lot trying to beat my last score. Doing your kegals has so many benefits for women. The Perifit is a workout that doesn’t feel like a workout. That’s what makes it so great.
After reading this may your vagina be tighter and your pelvic floor be stronger. Do your kegals! Thank me later.
Self-love is the best love. If you don’t have a pamper routine I suggest you get one. As a busy mom with aspirations it’s important to pencil in self care. Treat yourself. You need to take care of your mental and physical self in order to thrive in motherhood and your career. A little “me time” is necessary. You need to create chill relaxing pamper days to balance the busy chaotic ones or else take it from me, you’ll go loco in la cabeza.
We moms play a big role in our family and have huge roles at work so whenever we can let our hair down without breaking the bank we must do it, and do it often! After all, all work and no play won’t make us any less richer. In fact, a little indulging in the simple pleasures of life give you the motivation to keep excelling in your career. It’s actually crucial for maintaining the marathon mindset.
Also, you don’t always need a lot of money to unwind after a long day or a stressful work week. Sometimes all you need is space and opportunity to put yourself first and relax.
From the comforts of your home to getting out and splurging on the finer things here are 10 ways you can pamper yourself.
10 Ways To Pamper Yourself:
2. Go to a fancy restaurant
3. Get a manicure/pedicure
4. Have a spa day
5. Watch your favorite TV show in peace
6. Take a day or two off of work
7. Go shopping
8. Have a cocktail
9. Get your hair done
10. Catch up on sleep
There are lots of benefits to pampering yourself. As a working mom the stress factors of working day in and day out can be a lot. Knowing when and how to unwind can improve your overall health. Taking a day or two to regroup and decompress will recharge you.
Being financially comfortable is one thing but at what cost to your peace, your love life and your happiness?! You definitely need to start treating yourself better. What if I told you that you could have it all (The bag and a life we don’t need a vacation from) but it starts with basic self care and then work your way up to pampering yourself because your worth spoiling momma. Plus, you deserve it. If not every two weeks at least once a month make it a habit to pamper yourself.
When your in alignment with your purpose the hustle is real and you can find yourself so focused and passionate about your success that you don’t realize until you’ve burned out that your burnt out. Don’t get me wrong busy is a good thing but after work and on the weekends you need to relax. Pampering yourself helps prevent that burn out.
What ways do you you pamper yourself when you get a chance to?
We’re 23 days into the new year. We already made up our mind that this year we’re going to be intentional with our goal setting. Now that we’re going to be laser focused on our dreams it’s time to discipline ourselves and give up a few things to make our dreams possible. It’s not going to be easy but in 2020 we’re claiming success.
Repeat with me we have the ability to get money, follow our passion, live purposefully and be happy. The key ingredient is perseverance along with mastering getting the negative thoughts out of our minds that limit us from just doing it. Down below are 5 things I see holding many of us back from living in abundance. First let’s stop sabotaging ourselves by procrastinating, comparing, ignoring our instincts, letting perfectionism distract us and seeking validation.
5 Things We Are Not Doing In 2020:
Force yourself to do that task today. Stop stalling all your doing is delaying your success. Pick one thing to be motivated by and think about it when your having a rough start and that should be the umph you need to stop being lazy and take action on your dreams.
Don’t compare yourself to others. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your yesterday’s self. Focus on your own progress and keep your eyes on your own price because comparing your life to someone else’s winning season will lead to depression. Stop putting pressure on yourself. Remember all good things take time and everyone is on their own personal journey so yours might not look like theirs. This you need to learn to accept. Your journey is meant for you. Try acknowledging your own successes instead of stressing about someone else’s highlight reel on social media. I know it’s hard but this season your about to be so busy watering your own grass to notice if someone else’s greener!
3. Ignoring our instincts
Your intuition is God talking to you. Ladies we all have women’s intuition but most of us ignore it but not this year. This year we paying attention to people’s energy and listening to our gut feeling because every time you go against it you set yourself up for more drama and a headache in the long run. Still take risks but only risks that are more likely to benefit your passion projects.
4. Letting perfectionism distract us
This one is huge. Perfection is the thief of dreams. Sometimes we get so caught up chasing this idea of perfection that we never put ourselves out there. We end up letting our talents and gifts fall by the waste side because we feel like they are only ok but confidence is key. As long as your determined and have confidence just go for it. No one perfected anything before they started. They learned, they grew, got better then expanded.
5. Seeking validation
The only person that should be happy with your decision is YOU because your the one who has to live with the choices you make. You don’t need anyone to say that your opinions or ideas are ok. Be secure in who you are (your values). Validate your dam self. Then don’t be afraid of failure or going against the grain. Go forward in your pursuit of success even if no one supports you. Do you boo!
“Seeking approval from others will have you on an endless search for unnecessary validation” -unknown
This year if you haven’t already it’s time to change your mindset and prepare yourself to receive bigger blessings than the year before. Motherhood is crazy. This I know first hand. Then having the courage to pursue your dreams comes with another set of pressure we tend to place on ourselves.
Think big and stay positive. Stay encouraged, sis. Don’t let you be the reason you never start or never try. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Follow your dreams. You can do anything you put your mind to. Use my tips, take it step by step and push through. It may at times be a lonely scary road but only you know what your meant to become. If you don’t believe in you no one else will either. Keep hustling. It’s all going to pay off soon enough.
The legend, Kobe Bryant, his daughter and 7 others died today in a very horrible tragic helicopter crash in Calabasas. I can’t believe it. This is so shocking and so sad. We’re just starting 2020 and then here go this bullshit.
As a fan I’m absolutely heartbroken. As a mom and soon to be wife I can only imagine the amount of grief Vanessa is experiencing during this devastating time. It’s one thing to loose your soulmate but your 13 year old baby girl also, and at the same time. In one day two of your heartbeats just gone. It’s unbelievable. I can’t even phantom the indescribable pain she feels.
My thoughts and prayers go out to her and her family during this time. Anyone with kids understands you never want your kids to go out before you. That’s just not how it’s supposed to go. How do you find the strength to go on? I don’t even know but I just pray she remains a strong pillar for her other beautiful daughters because this the type of shit that could break you in pieces if you let it. I imagine it to be a heart break like no other and I would never wish that on not even an enemy.
I can’t even wrap my head around the thought of one of my children dying before me. That alone is tragic enough but your husband too. Then my stomach turns thinking about their last moments. OMFG. It’s gut wrenching to think how panicked they were. Helpless and afraid are a few words that come to mind. So awful. Its hard for me to process this loss. Mamba is really gone?! God only knows why and I send my condolences to all families of the victims of the crash.
This tragedy just reminded me that life is short. Hold your loved ones tight and appreciate each moment. When I heard the news, in the mist of shock, all I could think about was how uncertain life can be. It doesn’t matter how much money you have. You can be here today and gone tomorrow.
You just never know when it’s your time to go so you really just got to not take life for granted. Show up for your loved ones, say I love you as much as you can, use your God given abilities and live life like your last day is tomorrow. You only get one shot at this thing called life. Count your blessings.
I don’t care how much of a diva you consider yourself if your baby daddy is not holding up his weight put him on child support, sis. Stop getting sad and stressing out about what he’s not doing and let the courts deal with him. I’m a huge advocate in trying to come to a mutual agreement outside of court but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Don’t feel ashamed about it either. I applaud women who take care of their business for their child when the dad doesn’t want to step up.
When you’ve exhausted all your efforts trying to come up with parenting plans, visitation schedules and how much money is needed (key word needed) to take care of your child and ex spouse or partner have failed to consistently stick to the plan, then by all means you have every right to try and get some stability in your child’s life. It’s not just about the money either it’s about being an active parent and not allowing the burden of responsibilities of raising a child be on just one parent.
I get it your pride is telling you that you don’t need him and your right you don’t but we all can agree your kid would benefit from extra support. Those tutors and extra curricular activities add up. Where not even going to talk about child care expenses, or essentials like diapers, clothes and food. That’s a whole another set of bills on top of bills. Child support will help with everyday living expenses but does not contribute to any extras, although, I think it should in the spirit of co parent. We should go half on everything or it should be sometimes mom does more and sometimes dad does more but it’s fair. Not the main caregiver (usually mom) do everything and child support given cover whatever it can but it that’s usually how it goes.
Don’t argue or fuss until you hit a breaking point just file child support. As a single mom it’s tough and I know because I’ve been there done that too, but it’s the law that states that as long as paternity is determined they are required to do their part. Putting them on child support is basically a consequence of them neglecting your child. Then, based on the father’s income the state determines what he is capable of paying and most times if you want to get technical it is still not enough. It usually covers just the bare minimum but that is still something as opposed to nothing. Visit NCLS.org for more information on how they determine the amount of child support state by state.
Some fathers get mad that they are told they have to pay such and such amount but at the end of the day they better get over it and pay it or they will loose driving privileges, get their wages garnished, lottery winnings intercepted and even get their property seized. Why should a child have to suffer? They shouldn’t. My point exactly. No matter how bitter a man is about how things ended with his ex or how broke he is that should never be an excuse not to take care of your child. A parents should sacrifice so that their kid does not go without. That’s just my opinion.
I don’t think any real man should have to be told when to see his kid and how much to at least pay to take care of them but we as women have to realize that we are partly accountable for not doing our homework and laying down with men that force us to have use this system to enforce child support. Yet, that’s what it’s there for. To alleviate the stress of having to beg the other parent for anything. You should not make yourself suffer because you chose the wrong man to have kids by.
If you don’t have the heart to go down to the court and file because you’ve made up your mind that if he doesn’t take care of his kid f* it. Just remember your kids are owed his support. Even if he’s a drug dealer or unemployed now eventually he’s going to get older and have to work if he wants any kind of social security child when he’s senior citizen. That’s when that back pay will hit his ass. One way or another fathers need to be held accountable even deadbeat moms if the situation was reversed.
Your other alternative route for assistance is called Welfare. If your a struggling single mom they will help you with medical, dental, shelter and food. In helping you with these things Welfare will make you establish paternity and file for child support for you. To me that’s a blessing because your other alternative is getting your kids taken away from you if you can’t provide for them like your suppose to.
I was on welfare and it was a stepping stone for a young mom like myself. It helped mentally grow and get my shit together whether he paid a dime or not. They helped me focus on getting out of my horrible financial situations (due to my age I was pretty broke) by helping me with childcare while I was going to Dental Assistant school to give my son at the time a better life. In fact, the welfare to work program even paid for my schooling and books so when I received my license I didn’t owe anything. I was able to get in the work force and turn my situation around.
Now I make enough money to not need any help or even qualify for any help and that was my dream as a teenage mom. To be be self sufficient and not need any help ever. Now everything between my fiancé are good but when we were younger we had a hard time seeing eye to eye when we would breakup and live in depressed houses. I got tired of us being immature and not speaking when our feelings were hurt. Not speaking to him during those time periods lead to me not asking for things for the kids that I needed but couldn’t afford or him blocking me when I was trying to reach out and get his help when I was between a rock and a hard place. Which all meant my kids went without.
In being fed up I put his ass on child support and even when we stopped breaking up to makeup I kept him on there because I wasn’t about to play those games with him. I needed to be sure that no matter what I went through with him my kids would always be good and they wouldn’t be affected by our bullshit. I think after a solid three years of us not breaking up and having any real issues (because no couple has no problems) I took him off child support. I remember I had a little debit card from the state and they would send me an email every time I received a payment. It just so happened we were discussing finances and he was like I already give you x amount in child support which at that point was like an allowance since we were living together and sharing our bills.
When he said the amount I was pissed because that was not the amount I had been getting. I was getting less. That’s when I went into investigating mode. I need to know why I wasn’t getting exactly what he paid me and later found out when you receive child support there is a service fee. You are paying them to disperse your money to the other party. So I got to thinking I could get a portion of the money or I can have him hand me over the full amount. It was a no brainer in my case. I took the full amount.
It’s kinda funny to think he was on child support and we we’re together but our relationship was real rocky and I needed my kids to have security. I am not one of those girls who won’t put their kids father on child support for fear that he won’t come around. If you don’t come around that’s not my problem but you will take care of every single one of the kids I have by you by choose or by force you decide. I’m not leaving the option of not doing nothing up to my kids father. I established that earlier on. I’m not going to harass you to do your part I got goals to accomplish and that’s where my energy is going. Not to trying to win a gold star for putting up with your inconsistency.
5 Good reason why you should put your child’s father on child support:
1. Think about every time he falls short and you have to pick up the slack.
2. He is walking around like he don’t have any responsibility’s. Doesn’t even ask if your child needs anything or offer.
3. He picks and chooses when he’s going to take care of his kids.
4. If you have to ask him for simple shit and he gets mad or irritated
5. He has a new girlfriend and he taking care of her kid but not yours
Learn from my experience so you don’t have to keep stressing out and your kids don’t have to go with out. What most fathers don’t realize is that if the court system is involved in their life it’s probably their own fault. Don’t let the fear that once you take dad to court he’ll get angry because he might but don’t let that stop you because eventually the dust will settle and he’ll get over it.
I know mommy got this but you shouldn’t have to have it on your own. This post was for all the single moms who have their kids best interest at heart and aren’t trying to get child support because they are greedy or seeking revenge. Child support is NOT a weapon for hurt feelings.
If the other parent was not lacking in the parenting department there would be no need for court mandated child support. So at the of the day he decides if he wants to split half the work and financial responsibilities in raising his children in order to not get put on child support. He’ll either learn to accept it. He’ll move on from his emotions or he won’t but either way you move on. No more going back and forth and hoping he’ll change for his kids.
You went off principle. You let your kids father see his kids and see him working hard to better himself but not his children. What are you waiting for?! Take action and tell him you’ll see him in court.
The millennial mom is running businesses, working and raising kids. She is a strong professional women holding down her family while trying to get paid. I am sis. Sis is me. In fact, it’s starting to even be more common for us hustling women to now be the bread winners of our families. We are moms but we have elevated our mindsets. We want the whole nine yards-financial stability, wealth and good health. The roles have definitely reversed in the 21st century and we aren’t complaining. What can I say the millennial mom is poppin’!
We are becoming technology savvy and breaking into male dominated fields. We are confident and we are changing the game. We are a sought after target audience. We are building valuable brands. Where the door used to be closed we are opening them and paving the way for more independent ladies to dive into whatever career path they choose.
We were born from 1978 to 1994 and are successful go getters, wives and phenomenal mothers. You can not deny that motherhood has changed. We’re no longer ashamed and speaking up when we have postpartum depression. We are not putting our mental health on the back burner anymore. We are comfortable admitting we are going through postpartum. Yet we are still very much wearing our super mom capes as we ask for much needed help.
We realize we’re stronger as a tribe and it takes a village to raise these kids. We wear heels to close business deals, we breastfeed on demand anywhere, we are passion driven and refuse to settle in life. Isn’t it amazing to see what we moms can accomplish if we don’t hold in our emotions, play ourselves small and never loose site of who we truly are before we had kids?
We’re no longer sacrificing having children for careers, instead we’re making both work. We millennial moms are owning our motherhood. We are embracing our new priorities. We are having fun. We are reminding ourselves daily that we got this because we do. Motherhood isn’t easy but it’s beautiful and when we say we got this we mean it. We’re figuring out what works best for us and applying it and what doesn’t letting it go ASAP.
These kids is still alive and getting on our nerves. Stressing us out with their “I’m hungry” and “I’m bored”. *Rolls eyes* Yet, we’re loving every second of the joys of motherhood and having as many as we can handle. We are taking our kids everywhere and exposing them to the world around them one family vacation at a time.
We refuse to give up or give in to the stereotypical mom roles. You won’t catch us letting ourselves go. We are living our best lives and not regretting it for a single second. We understand the importance of putting ourselves first and we are practicing self care regularly.
We made it a mission to heal from our past, break generational curses and are glowing and thriving because of it. We are showing our children the truth that the real strength of a women is by not sacrificing ourselves but by coming into who we are through motherhood.
We are using our resources and educating ourselves, sharing our experiences and helping other women along the way as we stand tall through the hard days. The tears. The frustration. The pressure. We’re figuring out daycare, work, rent, expenses and etc. all while getting our shit together and being a parent.
The idea that we must have it all together has been thrown out the window. No mother has it all perfectly held together. We’re all just giving our absolute best in hopes that we’re raising happy healthy kids.
The amount of effort and sleepless days we put in because of our career driven goals are only trumped by the love and memories we create for our families who are the motivation behind it all. We are a forced to be reckoned with. We are creating sista circles and becoming even more powerful.
We are millennial moms elevating the next generation. We’re pouring into them everything that wasn’t or we wished was poured into us. So our beloved children can have choices in life. To have options to do what they want rather than what they have to do. We’re teaching them to fish. To be self sufficient and feed themselves. To be better than we ever were. These kids are blessed to not have to grow through what we survived in these few decades.
They will fly higher and seek more because we fought so hard to give them peace. Give yourself a big round of applause if your a millennial mom because you started that business, you stopped procrastinating, stopped over thinking and went after your goals. Your taking action and soon enough those small wins will lead to success. Be proud that you chose to invest in you. That’s the vital part of this message. Keep being so busy improving yourself so that your kids reflect your growth because you don’t get a second chance raising them. Go hard now!
I’m claiming everything this year. 2020 will be MY year. Periodt! Whose with me? Whose not letting their goals go unfinished? A new decade is on the horizon and it’s time for our dreams to come true. That business? Start it. That toxic relationship? Let it go. That higher education you always wanted? Go for it. That dream vacation? Take it. That mentorship? You can never know enough so reach out and make those valuable connections. That “no” you received? Go harder. This year it’s time to be fearless in the pursuit of happiness.
Do you boo.
We’ve been in survival mode way to long. It’s time we start living! We’re not ok anymore with just progressing this year, we’re ready to celebrate our accomplishments. I know I plan on working a lot so I can do more celebrating, even the small victories because those are crucial to your overall success too. Every boss move I make I’m popping champagne for all the pain I experienced in my loosing season.
I’ve been preparing for this year all year. I planted seeds last year that I’ve been watering and waiting to bloom. Having patience is the hard part because it’s usually not my forte (patience is definitely a virtue that I’ve come to realize it is a must though). Trusting the process and not making excuses when problems occur but working through them and keeping a positive mindset has been the vibe this year.
First, thing on my agenda for the new year is changing my last name. Second, getting passports stamped. Third, investing in a few projects to help get my business booming. Fourth, purchase my first property to get my investment portfolio growing. Lastly, I’ll be toning down my spending, in order, to be financially responsible so I can keep them bands in the bank so I can invest more.
I never want to live paycheck to paycheck again, see another insufficient funds fee again, or need government assistance again in life. I never want to go without the luxuries that I love like getting my hair and nails done because my kids need something. I always want to be able to do both. Provide for my kids and enjoy my wants.
I’m only hanging with the inspired, motivated, grateful, open minded and passionate. If you don’t want the good life as bad as I do we can not be friends. I’m on a mission for my family and I don’t need any distractions. This year is all action. If I don’t like your energy or it’s not good for my soul it must exit stage left. Negativity will not thrive in my world. I don’t care who got the tea or if it’s pippin hot either if it doesn’t concern me it is not my business. I’m so focused on my hustle. I just don’t care what’s going on in the media or in other peoples household. I’m after this money so don’t disrupt my grinding to discuss other people’s problems.
My life is so good right now and will be even better with my kind of determination. In November I sat down and mapped out this upcoming year. I’m that ready to put in this work because if you stay ready you don’t have to get ready. Pretty simple. Everything I vision I want it done right with minimal mistake. I’m not cheating, skipping steps, or trying to figure out a shortcut or selling my soul so I realize it’s going to take me a little longer. It’s never a will she win but a when I win how will I use my life to better the lives of my kids. In 2020 we ain’t doing nothing mediocre. No more stalling on our growth or over looking our self. We staying in our bag and investing in our come up.
Whew, the pressure is on. I’m competing with myself so this journey is intense and is very personal. With blood, sweat and tears I plan to rise in my niche and be someone else’s hope in their darkest hour. My mood for 2020 is I can, I will, watch me. I’m increasing my effort so whether a opportunity knocks or not I intend to build doors and make my own tables.
It’s absolutely necessary for my independence and freedom that I crave. I’ve done major shifting in my personal and work life to be able to balance this upcoming season. I’m all the way here for a year of nothing but flourishing! I’m upgrading EVERYTHING-my mindset, my house, my car, my inventory. I’ll continue to be humble but this year is my year to establish myself in the black blogging community, put my motherhood first, and bask in my internal happiness.
The time is now. I’m living in luxury, thriving in my career, finances exceptionally stable, my audience is so big, and relationships are so strong. I am in love with my life and my self esteem is through the roof. My word for this year is courage. I am taking risks and courageously living my best life.
A lot of men and women didn’t get the experience of having a wonderful father. It’s time to break that generational curse and change that. Dear fathers, promise your unborn children that as a man you’ll step up and be the loving father they deserve no matter what circumstances surrounded them coming into this world. Once you have a child it’s no longer about you. It becomes all about your little ones happiness. No excuses.
I’m only discussing you men because the saying mommas baby, daddy’s maybe is pure facts. I know plenty of single moms and countless kids whose fathers are not in the picture like they should be for many reasons, but at the end of the day there’s no excuse that will validate any father not being in his kids life. How could you not take one look at your kid and not want to make better choices?
I despise when fathers blame their kids mother for not being around. If your child’s mother is playing games and using your kid as a pawn exercise your rights, take them to court! Stop letting that be the reason you don’t see your kids. Put them in a position to where they have to give you visitations or they will get in trouble by the law. Get a coparenting plan in action and raise your kid.
Involved fathers are irreplaceable.
Trust me there’s no way in hell someone could tell me I can’t see my child without me jumping through hoops to change that. If it’s important to you you’ll figure it out and make it work. You don’t have to prove to your kids mom you deserve to be in your kids life if your doing the right thing and being consistent in their lives, helping do your part financially and being emotionally supportive to your child. Your need to show your kid that you love them unconditionally and will always put them first with your actions.
I am product of a broken home. My parents didn’t communicate well and that left gaps in my childhood where I didn’t see my real father for sometimes years. Looking back I fault both of my parents for not figuring out how to get along for my sake but I respect my mom more for never allowing me to miss a beat and for never leaving me since my dad went ghost. As an adult I have chosen to forgive him for my own healing process but I haven’t forgot how it made me feel to be abandoned and have to learn to cope. At the end of the day I was an innocent child and he could have had a relationship with me if he chose to fight for one.
While he was MIA my mom worked her butt off and never received a dime in child support because of her pride. I don’t think it’s fair that she carried the weight of parenthood by herself but I’m a different kind of women. We go half on a baby we go half on everything! Periodt. She took the loss like a G she kept it moving and found me a wonderful stepdad.
Before then, she probably didn’t notice how her stress from being a single parent affected me but it did. She was easily angered and quick to yell at me and tear me down because deep down she was frustrated and even hurt that she got herself into raising a kid by herself. Being a mom now, I understand how hard it must have been physically and mentally. I know her journey was an uphill battle but she did it and I’m proud to call her my mom.
So while I write this I sit back and think about how many of kids like me were birthed into confusion. Into some straight up mess. Yet, how many daddies will apologize or make it better so that the next generation doesn’t make the same mistakes?
I know a guy whose child’s mother was being childish and bitter about their breakup and jumped state. He was a active parent not a seasonal dad only coming around when he wanted to or when the holiday came but a good dad. Always present and took pride in his relationship with his daughter so not seeing her regularly pissed him off. He didn’t just take the move lightly. He sought action.
He played chess. She moved states he moved in that same state and called his kids mother one day and was like “hey, I’m your new neighbor.” Take that! Although, he probably was a terrible lover to her that didn’t change the fact that he was a great dad who was willing to make those adjustments to be apart of his child’s life even if that meant moving to a unfamiliar state. His daughter was that important. I can only imagine how loved that made her feel.
He didn’t even try to be with her mother either. Shit didn’t change as far as their relationship. That ship had sailed and it was over for them but he wasn’t going to just let her destroy his relationship with his daughter. He made it a point to make a big statement and let it be known to her that she could never take their child from him. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that no matter what she did to him it ultimately impacted their daughter. She wasn’t just hurting him but her child too and she left him alone and let him be a dad.
Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.
I see to many strong women playing both roles because daddy was a buster and doesn’t want to take care of his responsibilities. Yup, I’m name calling. No stand up guy would ever be an absent dad. I think it’s disgusting and unacceptable. I look down on deadbeat parents because no matter how well a mom is doing as a mom she can never replace the void of having a dad. So if you have a kids father that’s trying appreciate him even if his shit isn’t all the way together. Let him have a relationship with your kid/s.
Dads are so important. They can do so much for their child by being in their lives. Their support matters. Every father is suppose to be their daughters first love and their son’s first hero not their first heartbreak. It’s sad but absent fathers is a crisis all races face. It’s not just a black thing. You can watch teen mom and young and pregnant and see how many communities are affected by it. So many children are missing out on the positive affects of having an active dad in their life.
It doesn’t matter if your single, divorced, or widowed when dad’s not around it impacts a child’s development. From their self esteem to how they project their feelings, how they excel in school, to even how they treat others or allow others to treat them. It all plays a role in how they turn out. Some kids don’t miss what they never had while others don’t value themselves enough because they feel like they aren’t valuable since their own dad didn’t stick around for them. Thus, leading to anger and a lot of times depression.
We need fathers in the home but first and foremost we need dads to be present. Juggling babies, work, relationships and life is hard for mothers to do alone. Moms need emotional support. They need physical help. They need financial help. They didn’t make these kids by themselves and they shouldn’t be the only ones making sacrifices to take care of y’all children. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to that women or that child.
A dad is a pillar of strength and support.
Daddy issues are real. Kids without dads face higher risks of homelessness, dropping out of school and even suicide. It’s that real. When dads are involved kids are more likely to excel in school, not go to jail, and more likely to go to college because they have a sense of well being and confidence. Dads set the foundation for a child. His presence gives a child security and stability when he’s loving, affectionate, patient, protective, encouraging, hardworking, disciplines and is fun to be around. And the most important thing that makes them a great dad and good influence is when they respect their kids mother.
Shoutout to you super dads that are in your kids lives and making a lifelong impact by being an active parent. You could have ran from your responsibilities but you stepped up as a man and because of you your kids are loved by both parents. They have a healthy male role model. They have an amazing dad that they can always count on. That connection is vital. It leads to happier kids.
Are you a busy mom who focuses entirely on your families wants and needs? I get it I’m the same way. I just recently learned how important it is to keep yourself up after childbirth. Please mommy, don’t forget about YOU. Do something for yourself. You deserve a spa day to get your groove back. You deserve a spa day at Glen Ivy Hot Springs because taking the time to relax and unwind is good for your health, and will make you a better mom, wife, co worker and friend.
Glen Ivy Hot Springs is my favorite Southern California spa. The tiny oasis located in Corona, Ca off the 15 freeway makes wellness fun. Glen Ivy is known as one of America’s top spas that’s been around for 157 years and was even awarded Best Luxury Mineral Spring Spa in 2017. It offers such a calming environment for you to destress and recharge. I high recommend this spa and literally take everyone I know there.
Tip: The spa services are pricey but totally worth every penny.
I was first introduced to the spa life maybe 5 years ago through Glen Ivy and have been hooked every since. The Glen Ivy experience is like no other. The beautiful resort offers water aerobics, yoga, has two out door saunas, a steam room, and has 19 different swimming pools. From May to October they are open in the evening. They call it twilight hours which is pretty cool and it’s priced a little cheaper.
Sometimes it can get really packed on the weekends, especially during the summer. I came once on Mother’s Day and it was crowded so holidays too. Luckily, we rented a private cabana that time and didn’t have to worry about seating. On most days there are plenty of loungers but if your worried about having a designated location to lounge I recommend renting a lounge chair or a cabana. I’ve done both and my favorite experience was when I came with a large group and we rented a cabana. I believe as long as you have at least two people you can rent them. It definitely will give you peace from the crowd and the VIP experience if your looking for one.
Spa means health by water. There are many benefits the spa provides for your body and soul. From the salt water pools easing joint pain/cramps, inflammation, and soften your skin to hot and cold pools boosting your blood flow and flushing out toxins. Facials deep clean your pores and make your skin glow. The body treatments help your body recover from the daily stresses you constantly put it through. While other treatments like aromatherapy are known to promote better sleep, reduce mental stress and prevent depression.
What’s unique about Glen Ivy is that the as long as your 16 and older with an adult you can enjoy Glen Ivy. It offers something here for everyone. You can purchase “The Taking The Waters” admission and take advantage of the healing mineral waters, eat fresh healthy food, shop their exclusive boutique, catch up with your girls around the pool, reconnect and enjoy drinks with your bae with out getting any spa services. There are 3 types of admission and endless possibilities how you can relax your soul. All the above are great ways to spend your day though.
Tip: If it’s your birthday admission is free with your purchase of a 50 minute spa service.
I personally like to take advantage of Club Mud, The Grotto and The Ivy Kitchen. The clay from Club Mud will detoxify you and exfoliate your skin. I swear my skin has never felt softer. It’s also a fun experience too because it’s the only time you can get dirty as an adult and it’s ok. LOL. And don’t worry about getting clean after putting clay all over your body and even your face because Glen Ivy provides eucalyptus scented soap in their showers inside Club Mud. The soap smells so good and helps relax you while you rinse clay away from all the crevices it manages to get to.
The Grotto is a full body moisturizing treatment. They put on a body mask, you hit the steam room and rinse. You’ll love it. The availability for this services books up quick so it’s best to book ahead a time. Now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. My go to food item is the nachos. They are big enough for multiple people to share and they are finger licking good. They never disappoint. I wish I could say more about the food but I usually eat before I come since I have to drive a pretty long way to get here. I do know that they serve everything from smoothies, snack to gourmet dishes to feed your hunger.
To me going to the spa helps me mentally and physically feel better. It’s no longer a luxury but a necessity. I’m always running around and this is how I decompress. I used to be nervous about spas because I thought you had to get naked and I just wasn’t confident enough to go. When I discovered Glen Ivy it was the best alternative for me because you dress like your going to the beach. Now I’ve worked my way up to not being afraid to get naked at other spas. I have lots of body confidence these days and I enjoy a nice rub down. I’m such a spa snob now. Hahaha. There’s no going back!
Glen Ivy is an excellent way to celebrate a special occasion or gift someone you love to a day of relaxation. You can even purchase a membership. Club 1860 has different tiers you can join to customize the type of experience and discounted services you prefer while allowing you to affordably make health by water a part of your lifestyle.
Tip: The price of your admission goes down when you purchase a spa treatment.
If you’re a mom to be, never fear you can still come and get pampered after your first trimester. Pregnant moms can take advantage of the New Mum Massage. Just make sure you speak to your OBGYN and make sure whatever service you plan on getting is safe for your pregnancy. If it’s not recommended for you, you can always enjoy a nail service. Side note: if you recently just had a baby and are pumping they have a breastfeeding room for you to use.
I like to be handsfree as much as possible so I keep my debit card on file. That way if I want to purchase anything all I have to do is give my name and number. Then, I go by the bar at the Ivy Kitchen and scan my Id. In doing so I get a wristband and can purchase drinks without having to carry my ID. Also, don’t worry about paying for a locker. It’s free and they are located inside the Bath House.
For men they have customized experiences to met any of their needs. Whether they want to groom their beard or get their very first pedicure they can get pampered too. I actually think Glen Ivy is a awesome date idea. I see a lot couples drinking and enjoying the resort when I go. Matter of fact, I keep telling my man I’m going to take him. I really need to, but it just hasn’t happened yet. I think he’d love a couples massage. I actually just got a great idea. I’ll make that part of his Christmas gift since it’s right around the corner. When we go I promise I’ll write a post about it. I’m sure it will be a different experience.
Just so you know towels and water are scattered throughout the entire resort. Stay hydrated my friends. It’s important to drink lots of water during your visit because lots of toxins are released and water helps flush them out. Plus, it’s located in the valley and the temperatures can get really hot.
Did you know that massages release serotonin which is a happy hormone. Well now you know. Going to the spa will make you feel better so know you don’t need an excuse because you absolutely NEED a spa day. Your body will thank you.
Tip: A good rule of thumb is if you love your service don’t forget to tip and thank your technician or masseuse for a job well done.
Just in case your not a frequent spa goer and aren’t sure what to pack, don’t trip I got you covered.
Here’s what to pack:
1. Cellphone (don’t forget to download your favorite playlist or audiobook)
4. Robe if you don’t want to rent theirs or coverup
5. Personal water bottle
6. Favorite face masks or creams
8. Journal and something to write with
9. A swim suit you don’t mind getting dirty
10. Flip flops
11. Change of clothes for the trip home because it might be cold on your way home
Also, Glen Ivy has thought of everything. Don’t worry about bringing basic toiletries, such as, shampoo, lotion and soap. (A few less things you have to pack).
Spas are my go to for relaxation and self-care. I wish I had time to go more often. The only part that sucks is when it’s time to drive home after your all relaxed. Instead afterwards hopping in bed and catching some sleep I have to make a two hour drive down the highway back to San Diego. Although, that’s the downside I will continue to comeback for more wellness escapes. It’s always the break I need to let myself relax.
Share this article so that every knows how good of a treat Glen Ivy Hot Springs is. If you’ve never been make sure it’s on your things to do ASAP you’ll enjoy it.
This Saturday, I hosted an unforgettable Friendsgiving for my mom friends at Louisiana Purchase. It was a magical night in San Diego with tons of inspiring stories, lots of laughs, impeccable food, drinks, beautiful ambiance and a chance for all of us to make a difference and give back. Instead of doing your typical potluck for Friendsgiving I thought it’d be fun to switch it up and get my boss lady friends out the house for a ladies night at a hip restaurant and do some charity work.
We are so blessed throughout the year it feels good to give back to the less fortunate. My life hasn’t been perfect. I’m still waiting on some prayers to be answered but I do what I can. This year I can truly say I’m so fortunate and grateful to be around so many strong like minded women willing to do some good with their blessings. These are my tribe of sistas and I’m thankful for the support of each one of them. Without strength in numbers we are powerless. With it we can do amazing thing and this night was proof of it.
I requested that everyone bring a toy to be donated to the Black Infant Program. Whoever did was entered into a raffle where they could win a $50 amazon gift card. My only stipulation was if you won the gift card that you actually treat yourself.
We Mother’s give so much. It’s in our dna to over do it too sometimes and I just wanted the winner to buy herself something and not her kid anything. I’m serious you have to remind mommas to put themselves first because it’s human nature for us to nurture everyone but ourselves, but I’m trying to stop that way of thinking.
I can’t even express how proud I was to see the ladies donate so many toys. They really payed it forward. I’m sure that this season we are sure to bring a lot of holiday cheer to a deserving family and I can’t stop bragging about how humbled I am to see what Boss Mommy Club can accomplish. We may be a tiny community now, but it is my hope the spirit of womanhood and empowerment grows in each and everyone of these women and as they become more successful may their ability to give back continue to be apart of their journey.
I never had a Friendsgiving before but in the spirit of gratitude I couldn’t resist adopting this new popular tradition because I love my framily. I like the whole idea of getting together with your friends and celebrating the holidays. Of course, it wouldn’t be in Tasia fashion for it to not be EXTRA. In my world there’s no such thing as TO EXTRA because life is to short to live it mediocre. Life is to be lived to the fullest and if you know me you know I live by momma gotta have a life too.
Us mommy’s had a wonderful time at Louisiana Purchase in North Park, San Diego. They are known for there southern cuisine (with a sophisticated twist). I grew up eating cajun food and southern dishes because my mom is from the boot, so Louisiana Purchase was a no brainer for me. When I think of Thanksgiving, soul food is really the only thing that pops in my head. In my mind there is no such thing as Thanksgiving without it. In fact, I’ve made my peace about gaining 10lbs due to all the delicious food I was not going to deny myself from eating from Thanksgiving To New Years.
Who else ain’t worried about no diet??
I love being able to share my culture and I couldn’t wait to share Louisiana Purchase with all my Boss Mommy’s. Plus, I heard through the grapevine that they had bomb ass cocktails. And yes, it’s true. Their drinks are phenomenal! I had the mojito and the neighbor hustle. You should try them. The neighborhood hustle is pretty sweet like a pina colada but very tasty. The mojito is strong and good.
As far as food goes, my guest and I shared the garlic butter biscuits and sweet potatoe cornbread which were great. Then, for the main course I had the everyday Monday which is basically beans and rice with sausage. A good sized portion with the right amount of kick and lots of flavor. It was spicy but not to spicy. It reminded me of my moms beans and rice. So you can say they hit the nail in the coffin in the taste department and I was thoroughly impressed.
As we all went around the table and expressed what we were thankful for I sampled the catfish from the bayou in the tartar sauce and that was superb. As well as the shrimp sliders. OMG, they were so good too. I also, tried the Jenny pasta and that was really delicious. All I can say is by the 2nd round of drinks it got real sentimental and the love was overflowing and our bellies were satisfied.
The energy of Louisiana Purchase was simply amazing. The unique plates and menus gave it a cool little flare. To be around the fire pit outside was real camp Fire-ish. Then, to top it off they have blankets!!! It made the atmosphere even more relaxing to be able to snuggle under the blankets and vibe with your drinks in hand. At one point the conversation got so good I had a real Sara Jessica Parker moment.
Everything I tried looked and tasted scrumptious. I love Louisiana Purchases simple and clean design. It’s fun and cute. Inside is way bigger than it looks from the outside. From what I seen there is lots of indoor seating but not so much outdoor space. If your looking to sit in our exact location when you go I suggest making a reservation because it’s pretty much the hot spot. You’ll be waiting a long time if you don’t reserve in advance.
My girls keep telling me they loved Friendsgiving at Louisiana Purchase. I did too. The hospitality was so great I can’t complain about a single thing except I‘m disappointed I didn’t get to try the gumbo due to tummy problems. I’ll get that next time though.
For dessert we all had the beignet sprinkles with powdered sugar. I think these were the highlight for me. Since, I had such good beignets at Brenda’s soul food in San Francisco that we’re the best I thought I’d ever had until yesterday. The ones here at Louisiana Purchase are without a doubt the best I’ve had ever.
Have you ever had something so good it ruined it for you because nothing ever is good enough after that moment of bliss? Well, when I say my mouth is salivating thinking about how good and moist those beignets were from Louisiana Purchase are I wanna go back right now. Cafe Du Monde in the French quarters has nothing on these beignets from Louisiana Purchase, periodt.
I know large groups can be overwhelming but we had the best hostess. She even participated and help picked the raffle winner. Thanks boo. She was friendly and on top of everything. She made sure we knew exactly what was in each dish and recommended her favorites.
Tip: I almost forgot they have a secret menu. The menu changes daily from what the waitress said.
We were well taken care of all night. I can’t remember her name but she was a blonde pregnant women with the most alluring glow. Awwww I just love pregnant women. It’s something about knowing what they sacrifice to bring life into this world makes me a softy for them. God bless her and welcome to motherhood.
I actually think it was fate that our mommy group had a soon to be mommy as our waitress because we could all pour into her wonderful mom advice. If you ever read this sweetheart, Congratulations on your baby boy! You will be an amazing mommy as long as you try.
From someone who travels to Louisiana regularly I definitely approve of this restaurant. Go on and get your soul food fix here you won’t be disappointed. Just don’t expect the food to taste like those hole in the wall restaurants like they have around Xavier University. It is not to be compared. Louisiana Purchase is better and made with better quality of ingredients. I would say for a more sophisticated palate. It is still soul food but more refined. And get this it’s on Louisiana St in North Park so it’s really easy to find.
Also, If you would like to help make this Christmas a special one for a family in need contact The Black Infant Health Program and see what you can do. There number is 1 (619) 266-7466 or e-mail them at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Shoutout to all my friends that have dealt with all my rants through pregnancy, through childbirth and through motherhood. At this point there’s no such thing as TMI anymore because you guys have listened to me spill the beans about everything under the sun. I mean EVERYTHING! I don’t know what I’d do without being able to tell y’all the specifics.
Man, we be having some good conversations when I’m on the toilet or hiding in the closet away from my kids (I know I’m not the only one who hides from their kids). I have to or they will mom me to death.
If you don’t currently have mom friends. I suggest you get you some. Get you some mom friends that get it and understand. I got mine organically from friends of friends but now days there’s support groups everywhere where you can find some pretty decent mom friends.
I hear there’s even apps where you can meet other moms, or try introducing yourself to other moms when you take your kids to the park, your kid’s classmate birthday parties or you can always join my Facebook group Boss Mommy Club. Either way don’t be afraid put yourself out there. I promise you motherhood is more fun with mom friends.
Last year, my daughter’s besties mom and I became friends and been rocking every since. Now she’s one of my closest friends and to think I was avoiding meeting her in the beginning because I hate awkward introductions. For months, our kids tried getting us to meet so they could have play dates but I never made a effort because I really didn’t like the idea of my daughter going over anyone’s house at that time.
Then, one day we met and I really liked her and her vibe. We were both pregnant and with boys so we had that in common. We both worked and had families. Both of our men travel a lot for business and we do a lot of raising our kids by ourselves. We’re both basically single moms until our men come home, which can be challenging and lonely sometimes. To find someone going through something similar and could relate was awesome.
We talked and just clicked. Like instant best friends. Now we are really good friends. We help pick up and drop off our kids to different activities. We’ve traveled out the state to cheer competitions with each other and I trust her with my child because she treats her like family. We’ve even got our men together and now they are friends making it a family affair.
We take turns giving each other kid free days but we also go to church together with our families and occasionally will have our mom nights out. All in all, we work together to raise our kids and she’s been really valuable in helping me grow as a person because she’s just a motivated as me to get this schmoney and take care of our families.
We can talk about any and everything-love, marriage, kids, family, life, and work. We’re on the same page for just about everything. We share all our resources. Don’t you just hate when people won’t let you in on how they are managing like helping another sister out will dim their sparkle because it won’t. We both want to see each other win.
It takes a village to raise a child and I’ve filled mine up with mom friends. I can go on and on, about how important mom friends are and why you need them because I know I wouldn’t be able to survive without mine.
As a mom having mom friends that take time out of their busy schedule to show up for you and support you through all your mommy problems is such a blessing. Us moms have to stick together.
There are so many perks to having mom friends.
My mom friends have offered me great advice, tips and useful parenting experience. They have been inspiring when I was overwhelmed and exhausted by motherhood. Also, there’s nothing better than being able to learn, laugh, and grow alongside them through traveling, crafts, and kid activities.
I pray you find mom friends that become your framily like I have because when they do they help motherhood seem a little easier. There are plenty of different types of moms and when you find one that is down to earth and fits your lifestyle it’s pretty cool. You shouldn’t feel alone on this journey and mom friends can help you enjoy the ride.
Over the years I’ve experienced lots of different types of mom friends. Some good and some bad but I learned a little something from all of them. Whether we shared stories, recipes, laughs, accomplishments, or tears some of my best memories were made with my mom friends.
Having a mom tribe is one of the best decisions I made. I think once you have kids there’s only so much you and your friends without kids can talk about or do together when you don’t have a sitter. I’m not saying you’ll loose all your friends who aren’t parents but you might not be as close when your lives are going in different directions just because you can’t come and go as freely as someone without kids.
The supportive and encouraging mom. They understand because they are struggling to balance the demands of life and motherhood too. They come with hugs, warm cooked meals, positive vibes, a bottle of whine and a listening ear because they’ve been in your shoes before. They can relate and know exactly how to give mom-to-mom support since they have needed those things as well at one point or another.
The mom guru. Depending on what stage of parenting your mom friend is at they can give great advice or have great useful tips on how to deal with your child as they reach each milestone. Which can also be helpful in knowing if your child is developing at a good speed or not, or what to expect once they reach certain age.
If you think having a baby is hard wait until your child reaches puberty and you have to give the “sex talk”. I’m not even ready! Or when they’re college bound and your worrying if you gave your kids all the tools they’ll need to build a life better than the one you gave them. Your going to want someone whose been there and done that to show you the ropes.
The fun crafty mom. They don’t mind doing kid friendly activities. If your mom friend and you have kids that are close in age and actually get along that makes play dates just as enjoyable for you as it does for your child. No one wants to hear their kids arguing when you finally get some adult interaction that you’ve been desperately needing. That way it’s a win/win situation for all parties. I find that I’m actually more prone to do kid activities longer if I have a mom friend to gossip with. Then, when it’s time to leave we both synchronize leaving at the same time that way one kid isn’t jealous that the other one still gets to play.
Budgetnista mom. They are on a strict budget or like to stick to a budget. Everyone knows raising kids can get very pricey especially if you wanna keep them active and entertained. There’s nothing better than a mom friend that coupons or likes finding affordable things to do, or free stuff that y’all can do with the kids like movies in the park during the summer nights.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get the little ones to have fun you just need to have a good imagination and an open mind. Typically all the stuff us parents worry about kids could care less about so you really don’t have to spend and arm and a leg unless you just want to and got it like that.
Otherwise, two or more mommanistas planning a kids event or outing should not only be creative and fun but only cost a little or nothing. SCORE! Whoever says I wish I spent more anyways?
The party pooper mom. They never need an excuse to not go to something. They are always tired and their family is their top priority. They are not showing up to anything you host and it’s not personal. As a mom you know that kids give you universal sympathy. You can blame anything on your kids and another mom won’t ask you a million questions. For example, if my kids are sick- I’m not going. If my kids are bad -I’m not going. If I’m not in the mood-I’m not going.
Don’t make any mom feel guilty for not going. She’s got her hands full. Always cordially invite her to stuff but don’t get mad if she doesn’t RSVP. At the end of the day take her for who she is. She’s not a socialite. Maybe she just likes her Netflix and naps at home. Some moms are so sensitive and take other moms not showing up to things as offensive. That needs to stop.
Dr. mom. They will let you know if something is normal or not. After I had my c-section I wanted to see all my friends scars so I could have something to compare it to. Just to make sure the doctors didn’t butcher me. So of course my friends didn’t need any convincing. They were like step right up, take a look. To see their scars eased my mind. They assured me I would heal eventually but it would take time. I just had to be patient.
The not scared of anything mom. They are not afraid of tantrums or tears and they don’t get embarrassed when you have to discipline your child for having a meltdown in public. Sometimes when they see you livid that will just give you that look like you are doing exactly what your suppose to do don’t worry about everyone starring.
Also, when you have poor reaction time they jump in and save the day. Nothing surprises them or scared them. They roll with the punches After all, they are not scared of anything.
The open minded mom. Mom friends don’t criticize your parenting style. They don’t tell you how to parent but will offer funny accounts of the tantrums their kids have thrown and try and make you feel better. They are non judgements and if they ever become drop them like a bad habit.
There is no competition with you and an open minded momma. She gets that you are doing what’s best for you and your child even if she doesn’t agree. These moms are the best type of friends to have because they support you for you and never shame you or force their ideas on you.
The Funny mom. She has sarcastic mom humor. They know your not going to kill your kid no matter how angry you are. Sometimes you just want your kids to think you might so they can give a dam about your feelings.
I grew up in the era where it wasn’t uncommon to get your ass beat with a belt. Talk about learning your lesson. Now my 14 year old acts as if he’s a slave if he has to lift a finger around the house. These kids these days are so spoiled. Talking doesn’t always work sometimes you gotta scream and pretend your going to break their phone to get them to act right.
I’m so the funny mom who loves her little assholes but doesn’t want a cps case when I’m practicing tough love. I need friends around me that aren’t afraid to parent their kids because I’m not. My methods may be unconventional but laughter is my way of trying not loose my mind stressed about my bad ass kids. All kids is bad so this is not up for debate. And when I say bad that includes annoying too.
The super mom. She meets you at the middle. Say your forget wipes. 9 times out of 10 they probably have them and have no problem sharing. They never leave the house without snacks or water. Don’t nobody got time for long lines when your out in public with kids with little or no attention spans.
They are over prepared and thank goodness because when your a hot mess you need a mom friend who has your back.
The mom shamer. She thinks she’s better than you at everything. In her dreams her kid is a genius and it’s all because of her organic baby food and the breastmilk.
The always late mom. Who else is going to understand stand why your always late because you keep going over the list in your head of shit you can’t leave the house without. Not to mention each kid adds at least 30 minutes to every thing.
Someone is always loosing something, forgets something, is wearing the wrong outfit, or gets distracted and next thing you know your plans of getting out the house on time is ruined.
My keys are usually the biggest issue I have. I can never find them. I usually walk in the house with so much stuff and they just land in different places every time. The worst is when they were lost in my sons car seat for 30 minutes. I accidentally dropped them in there when I buckled him in and searched inside the house for 30 minutes before realizing. Smh.
The big hearted mom. They give you the best hand me downs. If you don’t listen to any thing I say at least listen to this…kids don’t need half the stuff we buy them. Spending so much money on clothes for babies is ridiculous but we do it anyway. I get it and I’ve done it but I except all hand me downs from friends who I know take great care of their stuff. I mix the old with the new and my kids can’t tell the difference.
The over protective mom. She’s scared to let her kid be a kid. She watches them like a hawk and doesn’t let her child explore and do childlike things. She tends to always think the worst possible thing might occur and she’s prepared if it does.
Her kids are usually annoyed by her but she doesn’t care she plans on babying her child until they are married with their own kids. My advice for befriending these types of moms is know your limits. Don’t punish your child for her overthinking.
Don’t let her issues affect you and your child. Everyone parents different and just because she’s a scary mommy doesn’t mean you don’t love your child just as much as she loves hers.
The gossiping mom. They have side conversations with their kids when they are talking on the phone with you too. So it’s not awkward if you are carrying on two conversations at once. My favorite low maintenance mom friends are the ones where if the call drops nobody calls back and nobody’s feelings are hurt.
It’s so hard having a decent convo around kids anyways because for some reason the minute you answer the phone everybody in your house needs your attention. Everything is urgent and nothing can wait smh.
The beautiful hot mess mom. They totally don’t care if you hair is a hot mess, your house is a hot mess or your car is a hot mess. After all once you have kids your life is a hot mess. Your nice clothes get stained from the trenches of parenthood. Your once every two week nail appointments get stretched out longer and and longer.
Your lucky if all your nails haven’t broke off after 3 weeks. There’s a constant battle between your kids looking presentable or you and it never seems to work out in your favor. That’s why they’ve adopted the attitude of your lucky I even showed up.
The don’t sugarcoat shit mom. My favorite kind of bad ass mom. The reason is because real friends keep it real with each other even if the truth hurts. This momma is honest and someone you can trust. When they are concerned they are going to bring it to your attention. There’s nothing worst than a hater that will let you fail. She won’t let you fail she will encourage and and uplift you but also let you know how you need to fix your crown.
You just need to know it’s coming from a good place. This momma wants you to be the best mother you can be for your children. She wishes you well and she’s not going to let you give up on yourself. She might be my favorite type of mom.
The haute momma. She’s always overdressed and somehow manages to get her sexy back after having kids. She firmly believes if you got it flaunt it. She might dress a little inappropriate at times but she’s a good person.
The outside appearance is not a reason to friend or unfriendly anyone. Never judge a book by its cover and never look down on anyone for not having the same fashion sense as you. Some people don’t know they dress tacky and they absolutely love it. At the end of the day confidence is sexy.
What type of mom friend are you? Or are you a mixture of a few?
Do you ever feel like your struggling with work-life balance? You don’t have to be. I have 5 tips to help you balance your personal and work life. If your a working mom like me, maintaining a healthy work-life balance is crucial for your mental health and physical health. It helps prevent stress and burn out so you can connect with what matters the most to you, your family.
Wear your stripes, your lines with pride. At this point I feel like my stretch marks are apart of me. I’ve earned these stripes in birthing 3 beautiful babies and I except every single imperfection. I’m beautiful just the way I am and you are beautiful just the way you are, stretch marks, incision scars, little pouch, mommy rolls, sagging tits and all.
Stretch marks are so common during pregnancy that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Even that little bit of extra skin around your tummy is to be expected. I feel like its a milestone saying welcome to womanhood because real women have stretch marks on their breast, thighs, lower back and sometimes on their arms and that’s even before having children. I say no matter where you have them embrace them. Someone out there sees your body as their dream body.
I don’t agree with going under the knife unless you absolutely need to. I see so many girls getting new bodies and if they are happy I’m happy for them, but that will never be an option to me. I won’t let social media and this idea of being perfect hype me up. Being vain could essentially cost you your life and that’s not a risk I’m willing to take at this moment so I’ll just leave my stretch marks alone.
To me that’s nothing to play with. It’s never that serious but if it is for you know that you are enough before and after any surgery. As a mom know that your body represents how amazingly strong you are. That SnapBack that you see and wish you had 9xs out of 10 is fake. That girl on IG is sucking in her stomach and has been practicing in the mirror for hours to get her angles just right. That, or she may not be showing you that she’s on a strict diet or using some weight loss supplement. Majority only posts their wins not their reality. In reality no ones loosing their baby weight in a month.
Even with a waist trainer it still takes time. If you treat your body right you can get there but if you never get to your pre babies weight it isn’t the end of the world. Just don’t set yourself up for failure comparing your journey to someone else’s. Life in the postpartum period is uncomfortable for everyone because so much change is occurring to your body but remain body positive. Love the skin your in because God makes no mistakes. YOU ARE PERFECT. He beautifully crafted you to bare those beautiful babies. That’s the blessing.
Most men think our stripes are sexy af. That’s the type of grown ass man that you should have in your life. One that loves all of you and understands the beauty in housing children. Some women aren’t so lucky. You should feel thankful God chose you to be a mother. I know am and that’s why I wear bikinis and you can’t tell me I’m not cute with my mom bod. I’m proud of my body and its ability to stretch itself in ways that allowed me to birth 3 healthy babies.
So those little imperfections I used to worry about I’ve worked hard to except. Without them I wouldn’t have my children. Some of y’all are going to look at me and think why does she have insecurities she’s so small but we all have flaws. I’ve breastfed three babies and my boobs have gotten smaller every time. I rubbed cocoa butter on my stomach all day while pregnant and I don’t have stretch marks on my stomach but I have them on my thighs. My stomachs squishy, my arms are huge and I have dimples on my thighs. I could keep poking at myself but I won’t. I choose to focus on the things I do like about myself.
My curves are the new me. They are apart of my transformation. So instead of tearing myself down. I’m going on a journey of building myself up. Getting myself out of the mindset that my waist should be snatched and my edges should always be laid. I am not perfect and I don’t care to be. I’m a mom of three and I think I look good with a little extra weight on me. My spirit is pure and my kids love me. That’s what’s important.
Feeling insecure about your body takes away from the beauty of motherhood. Those scars represent love and life, so don’t you ever feel bad about them. Appreciate yourself and show yourself more love momma. Strut yo shit!
The one thing that you can’t get back is time. Once you mature and realize that life is to short to be miserable and unhappy, letting go becomes a way of life. All you have to do is stop making bullshit excuses to hold on to shit that’s weighing you down. You ever wonder why you see everyone around you getting blessed but not you? It’s often times because your blocking your own blessings by not letting go.
Many of us were not taught to let go. Yet, letting go is liberating. For some reason men tend to be scared to let down women and women just don’t like to be alone. You have to let go of relationships that are not for you, in order, to live a healthier life. Let go of all toxic people (family members included), jobs that hold you back, your own fear and the idea that you should expect anything from anyone other than God.
I work in the dental field as a dental assistant and I’m always surprised how many parents don’t realize how important it is to take care of your child’s baby teeth. Teeth in general are just as important as your other body parts. You want to take daily care of them just as you would your your liver or your heart.
To the females that don’t have kids yet. This post is for you. There’s so much to expect when your expecting. There’s so much to learn if your a new mom if you haven’t taken a child development class. People will warn you about all the crying, the sleepless nights and how expensive kids are but in real life the first year is all about survival. You have to be realistic and throw away all your expectations and do what works for your family.
On Saturday, October 5th, 2919 I attended the 10th annual Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic. I absolutely enjoyed this dope event. I enjoyed a day of being a Boujee milf with my extra’d ass friends. We sipped Veuve Cliquot champagne, ate fancy cheeses and mingled with the most stylish guys and dolls at Will Rodgers State Historic Park.
Polo matches are typically a drag to me but the perfect backdrop on a gorgeous day filled with lots of champagne, fashion and fun. I played life size board games, met fabulous people, took lots of pictures while the deejay played all the jams.
If your like me and never attended an event of this nature you definitely want to be prepared and know what to expect. So I’ve created a little guide and I hope this helps if you’re planning to attend next year.
I hosted a mommy meetup at Breakfast Bitch last Saturday with around 6 of my girls. I’ve been wanting to try this new spot for a while and I’m glad I did. The food was delicious, the slogans on the wall were litty and the vibe was mad cool. They played good music, the lines weren’t extremely long and the staff was super friendly and catered to all our needs.
This week on the internet I saw a post posing the question “Is travel a valid reason for kids to skip school?” and while reading through the comments I was surprised how many parents would not let their child miss a single day of school. I personally don’t have an issue with it unless they are falling behind academically.
Who else is constantly seeing pregnancy or birth announcements all up and down their timeline? Just about everyday a new baby is born or on its way. I just want to say Yayyyy to ALL the moms to be! I’m so excited for all you mother-to-be’s (whether your a first time mom or veteran mom expanding your family), Congrats!
Not only does pregnancy bring tons of hormonal changes but let be honest shit is never the same once you become a mother. Adapting to your new normal is definitely a process. 80% of moms tend to feel overwhelmed and can use your help even if they don’t want to admit it. If your not pregnant but apart of the village and excited, here’s how you can make moms life a little easier after she’s had her baby. Here are some ways you can help out.
Paying with cash will help you save money and with the money you save you can invest back into yourself. Whether that’s to take a class to develop your craft more, purchase more tools to grow your business, meet a personal financial goal, or save for a vacation. You’ll be surprised what you can achieve financially when you plan with a purpose, execute and put your money in areas that will bring you abundance.
“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.”
On a quest to save money to fund my dream wedding I learned about the cashenvelope system. The key of the envelope system is to budget your money using envelopes for different categories of your household expenses. It forces you to accurately budget your expenses every month and stop overspending.
I’m a huge birthday person. Like a huge birthday person. I love celebrating my birthday every year. In my head my birthday is a national holiday.
I dread getting older, but I love celebrating my birthday in some kind of grand way. It’s a Leo thing.
Last year, as my birthday was approaching I was getting ready to fuck it up per usual, while being big and of course pregnant. I had my heart set on a glitter theme party and I was going to show up looking like a big, sexy disco ball. It was gonna be a hot glitter mess of a good time.
I decided on a good food spot to eat because what does a pregnant lady absolutely enjoy other than food? Nothing. Then, I was going to make all my beautiful friends wear something shiny and sparkly so I could get a cute maternity photo shoot out of the deal.
I had the perfect dress and the perfect heels for the occasion and they are both still sitting in my closet waiting to be put to use because someone couldn’t wait to meet his mommy.
Teething is a normal part of a baby’s development when their baby teeth are in the process of erupting. It typically occurs from 6-24 months of age and trust me you will know.
During this time your child will most likely experience discomfort due to tender and swollen gums, become irritable, go through tons of bibs from drooling, and try to bite on any and everything to relieve the pain. Oh and lots of crying.
Teething is a stressful time for you and your baby as you struggle to find ways to relieve their pain but thanks to one mom named Tasia Blackwell (same name gang 💁🏾♀️ so I like her already) who invented Milksicles there’s a solution to this challenge.
I have the same 24 hours as anyone else and I maximize all of it or at least I try. When do I rest with 3 little ones you ask. Ha! What’s sleep when you have a newborn. If your a parent you definitely understand where I’m coming from. Even in mombie mode I’m taking care of business. Challenges arise all the time but guess what. I walk up to them confidently and say who gone stop me? Not you! And that my friends is how you take charge of your life. Be the boss of your life.
So you know someone who just had a baby or your about to have one yourself. Share this post with all your family and friends so they understand there is something called hospital etiquette and before coming to visit you and baby they should consider a few things. You want to be respected during your postpartum so you can enjoy it.
This information is intended for you to think about what you really want. You’ve created your ideal birth plan and now it’s time to start thinking about after the birth. Do you want visitors at the hospital or not? What rules do you want them to kindly follow.
There’s levels to this ish. It’s crazy that I even have to write about this to let people know how to not overstep their boundaries. I get that friends and family’s get excited when a new little bundle of joy is born but they need to remember that the parents just had a baby and have plans of their own for how they want the next couple days to go. Make sure you clearly establish your preferences ahead of time or you might be doing damage control later.
I personally experienced my own sister posting my baby on social media before I did and was pissed. She posted a picture of my baby with wires on him at that. My son’s first days were spent in NICU and that’s not something I was ready or wanted to share with the world right away. That’s something that I thought would of been common sense not to do. Like a real big no no but she didn’t even see the harm in it. Thus, this post was created on behalf of her and all the overbearing family members who loose all sense of common sense when baby arrives.
I get her side as far as being an aunt all over again and being so proud but at the end of the day people the parents wants trump everything so consider them and respect their wishes. Having a baby is a special time. The transition to motherhood is mentally and physically a lot to take in the first couple day’s as you maneuver your new life. Your new normalcy is to protect your baby at all cost. Meaning no bad vibes and plenty of rest is needed in order to have energy to care for your newborn. So here goes some visiting new born rules or I like to call them “hospital etiquette.”
I’ve talked to all my mom friends and have compiled a list of things we think should be standard hospital etiquette for visitors. I recommend using these tips to help deal with visitors and be able to stick to your no-or yes if that’s what you want. Either way be empower to create your boundaries ahead of time because you don’t owe anyone your new baby.
1. Do not show up unless your invited.
This ones self explanatory. There will be no extension of any olive branches during this period so don’t even try it. You’ve had 10 months to figure out where you stand and if an invitation to the hospital isn’t given don’t show up unannounced.
Tip: If your in-law or your own parent throws off your zen politely be honest and let them know come by another time when your ready to deal with her/him. They may get offended but it’s your baby and during this precious time you don’t want to be emotional, anxious or upset.
2. Stay home if your sick.
Stay yo ass at home! The newborns immune systems is so weak when they are first born. If your coughing, sneezing or just got over a cold just don’t come up to the hospital period. I don’t care how enthusiastic you are about seeing the new baby you gotta sit this one out. Come back when your feeling better.
Tip: Parents don’t take any risks. It’s ok to say no to kids too because they are full of germs.
3. Don’t you dare post picture of the baby or announce the arrival before the parents do.
It really sad but you actually have to tell people this because some people loose all sense of boundaries. They get so excited and forget the expectant parents waited 10 months for the moment to announce the birth of their baby. It’s just plain rude for anyone to do it first. Slow your roll and wait until after the parents have posted. Don’t even congratulate them let them share their joy at their own pace.
4. Do not kiss the baby.
This rule is very important because newborns immune systems aren’t built up yet and they haven’t gotten their vaccines so they are vulnerable to infections and illness. So don’t think the parents are being germaphobes. They are just trying to protect their child from Herpes Simplex Virus commonly known as the kiss of death. When someone who has the virus kisses an infant it can be spread rapidly and be fatal. Don’t get throat punched lol.
5. Ask permission to take anyone’s child’s picture.
Remember everyone is different. Parents should be able to decide if they want you to take their kids photos. They may want to be private because they are sending out special birth announcements later. You just never know so ask.
6. Wash your dam hands before holding baby.
All visitors must wash their hands thoroughly before touching or holding baby.
7. Don’t stay to long.
Mom needs to get her rest. She’s up every hour feeding or having a nurse check her vitals so she’s exhausted. She appreciates your thoughtfulness but just wants to focus on her newborn. Keep your visit to 45 minutes or shorter.
8. If the baby is sleep when you arrive, do not wake them up.
Tip: I recommend if you just gave birth to schedule appointments so your not overwhelmed by visitors. Be honest with your guest and don’t feel bad if the time they are available doesn’t work for you and you have to tell them.
8. No drama *Most important*
Don’t come and be nosy. Don’t come and make comments about the mother’s appearance. Don’t give the hospital room number to anyone.
9. If the baby starts crying while in your arms give the baby back to mom right away.
Crying is definitely cue that baby wants something or needs something only mom can provide so give her the baby back.
10. If mom is breastfeeding please leave the room during feeding.
Let her bond with her baby in peace especially if this is her first child. She might not be comfortable yet doing it front of people so don’t wait for her to say anything to you first. Just assume she would want you to excuse your yourself. She still learning which breastfeeding positions work best for her and baby and she doesn’t need your eyes peering at her. Also, breastfeeding may be painful at first and she needs to relax so give her space.
Hey mommy, you were made for motherhood. Embrace it and make everyone around you respect your motherin’ starting day 1! Your the boss. You just pushed out a baby so handle your hospitals visitors according to your comfort level. Visiting your baby is a privilege and if they are lucky enough to make the cut to be able to visit your baby at the hospital all visitors must abide by your non negotiable rules. Like this post if you agree. More moms need to put there foot down and stop letting people ruin their postpartum experience.
If you don’t do a photo shoot every month of your child’s first month of existence are you even a good mom?! OMG, it’s ridiculous to even think that way. Being the perfect mom has nothing to do with making sure you get the best shot of your adorable new baby (but you do get bonus points if your able to pull of off *wink*) and more to do with just learning your baby and taking care of their needs.
What mom doesn’t have an iCloud full of candid baby pictures anyways so just because they aren’t perfectly curated doesn’t mean they won’t be appreciated in the long run. Keep snapping pictures no matter what. Capture everything from their first smile, cry, funny face, crazy hair, cute outfit, crawl, or mischief. Document it all. Their first year goes by so fast so don’t ever feel like your ever taking to many pictures. That’s highly impossible to do.
I’ve seen photoshoots as simple as baby on a monthly milestone blanket, milestone sticker, age blocks or even more elaborate photoshoots with extravagant props and costumes beautifully done. How ever far you can stretch your imagination is up to you but if your going to do it don’t have such high expectations of the models because after all they are babies. Be flexible and have fun.
I think milestone pictures are the cutest way to capture the growth of your child’s first year but I just couldn’t keep up. I gave up after the 4th month and I don’t care. I do love the new trend just in case any of you new moms are thinking about it, go for it! I just was preoccupied with my other 2 kids, trying to maintain a social life and just being utterly exhausted. If you fail like I did don’t sweat it though. There’s so many other traditions you can create that may stick.
Let that mom guilt go. Your baby isn’t missing out on anything by not doing the month by month photoshoots since they are purely optional. Also, there is always going to be that one mom that will out do you in your eyes. Give her kudos and don’t think that deeply into it. You are still a wonderful mom, I pinky promise.
Although, I failed I still captured pictures of baby Kalvin’s first year and put my favorites in a Shutterfly photo book. I’ve done this to document all my kid’s birthdays, special occasions and sports activities. It’s easier than scrapbooking and my kids enjoy looking at their books and reading the captions. Visit Shutterfly and make yours today!