Put Him On Child Support, Sis

I don’t care how much of a diva you consider yourself if your baby daddy is not holding up his weight put him on child support, sis. Stop getting sad and stressing out about what he’s not doing and let the courts deal with him. I’m a huge advocate in trying to come to a mutual agreement outside of court but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Don’t feel Shane about it either. I applaud women who take care of their business for their child when the dad doesn’t want to step up.

When you’ve exhausted all your efforts trying to come up with parenting plans, visitation schedules and how much money is needed (key word needed) to take care of your child and ex spouse or partner have failed to consistently stick to the plan, then by all means you have every right to try and get some stability in your child’s life. It’s not just about the money either it’s about being an active parent and not allowing the burden of responsibilities of raising a child be on just one parent.

I get it your pride is telling you that you don’t need him and your right you don’t but we all can agree your kid would benefit from extra support. Those tutors and extra curricular activities add up. Where not even going to talk about child care expenses, or essentials like diapers, clothes and food. That’s a whole another set of bills on top of bills. Child support will help with everyday living expenses but does not contribute to any extras, although, I think it should in the spirit of co parent. We should go half on everything or it should be sometimes mom does more and sometimes dad does more but it’s fair. Not the main caregiver (usually mom) do everything and child support given cover whatever it can but it that’s usually how it goes.

Don’t argue or fuss until you hit a breaking point just file child support. As a single mom it’s tough and I know because I’ve been there done that too, but it’s the law that states that as long as paternity is determined they are required to do their part. Putting them on child support is basically a consequence of them neglecting your child. Then, based on the father’s income the state determines what he is capable of paying and most times if you want to get technical it is still not enough. It usually covers just the bare minimum but that is still something as opposed to nothing. Visit NCLS.org for more information on how they determine the amount of child support state by state.

Some fathers get mad that they are told they have to pay such and such amount but at the end of the day they better get over it and pay it or they will loose driving privileges, get their wages garnished, lottery winnings intercepted and even get their property seized. Why should a child have to suffer? They shouldn’t. My point exactly. No matter how bitter a man is about how things ended with his ex or how broke he is that should never be an excuse not to take care of your child. A parents should sacrifice so that their kid does not go without. That’s just my opinion.

I don’t think any real man should have to be told when to see his kid and how much to at least pay to take care of them but we as women have to realize that we are partly accountable for not doing our homework and laying down with men that force us to have use this system to enforce child support. Yet, that’s what it’s there for. To alleviate the stress of having to beg the other parent for anything. You should not make yourself suffer because you chose the wrong man to have kids by.

If you don’t have the heart to go down to the court and file because you’ve made up your mind that if he doesn’t take care of his kid f* it. Just remember your kids are owed his support. Even if he’s a drug dealer or unemployed now eventually he’s going to get older and have to work if he wants any kind of social security child when he’s senior citizen. That’s when that back pay will hit his ass. One way or another fathers need to be held accountable even deadbeat moms if the situation was reversed.

Your other alternative route for assistance is called Welfare. If your a struggling single mom they will help you with medical, dental, shelter and food. In helping you with these things Welfare will make you establish paternity and file for child support for you. To me that’s a blessing because your other alternative is getting your kids taken away from you if you can’t provide for them like your suppose to.

I was on welfare and it was a stepping stone for a young mom like myself. It helped mentally grow and get my shit together whether he paid a dime or not. They helped me focus on getting out of my horrible financial situations (due to my age I was pretty broke) by helping me with childcare while I was going to Dental Assistant school to give my son at the time a better life. In fact, the welfare to work program even paid for my schooling and books so when I received my license I didn’t owe anything. I was able to get in the work force and turn my situation around.

Now I make enough money to not need any help or even qualify for any help and that was my dream as a teenage mom. To be be self sufficient and not need any help ever. Now everything between my fiancé are good but when we were younger we had a hard time seeing eye to eye when we would breakup and live in depressed houses. I got tired of us being immature and not speaking when our feelings were hurt. Not speaking to him during those time periods lead to me not asking for things for the kids that I needed but couldn’t afford or him blocking me when I was trying to reach out and get his help when I was between a rock and a hard place. Which all meant my kids went without.

In being fed up I put his ass on child support and even when we stopped breaking up to makeup I kept him on there because I wasn’t about to play those games with him. I needed to be sure that no matter what I went through with him my kids would always be good and they wouldn’t be affected by our bullshit. I think after a solid three years of us not breaking up and having any real issues (because no couple has no problems) I took him off child support. I remember I had a little debit card from the state and they would send me an email every time I received a payment. It just so happened we were discussing finances and he was like I already give you x amount in child support which at that point was like an allowance since we were living together and sharing our bills.

When he said the amount I was pissed because that was not the amount I had been getting. I was getting less. That’s when I went into investigating mode. I need to know why I wasn’t getting exactly what he paid me and later found out when you receive child support there is a service fee. You are paying them to disperse your money to the other party. So I got to thinking I could get a portion of the money or I can have him hand me over the full amount. It was a no brained in my case. I took the full amount.

It’s kinda funny to think he was on child support and we we’re together but our relationship was real rocky and I needed my kids to have security. I am not one of those girls who won’t put their kids father on child support for fear that he won’t come around. If you don’t come around that’s not my problem but you will take care of every single one of the kids I have by you by choose or by force you decide. I’m not leaving the option of not doing nothing up to my kids father. I established that earlier on. I’m not going to harass you to do your part I got goals to accomplish and that’s where my energy is going. Not to trying to win a gold star for putting up with your inconsistency.

5 Good reason why you should put your child’s father on child support:

1. Think about every time he falls short and you have to pick up the slack.

2. He is walking around like he don’t have any responsibility’s. Doesn’t even ask if your child needs anything or offer.

3. He picks and chooses when he’s going to take care of his kids.

4. If you have to ask him for simple shit and he gets mad or irritated

5. He has a new girlfriend and he taking care of her kid but not yours

Learn from my experience so you don’t have to keep stressing out and your kids don’t have to go with out. What most fathers don’t realize is that if the court system is involved in their life it’s probably their own fault. Don’t let the fear that once you take dad to court he’ll get angry because he might but don’t let that stop you because eventually the dust will settle and he’ll get over it.

I know mommy got this but you shouldn’t have to have it on your own. This post was for all the single moms who have their kids best interest at heart and aren’t trying to get child support because they are greedy or seeking revenge. Child support is NOT a weapon for hurt feelings.

If the other parent was not lacking in the parenting department there would be no need for court mandated child support. So at the of the day he decides if he wants to split half the work and financial responsibilities in raising his children in order to not get put on child support. He’ll either learn to accept it. He’ll move on from his emotions or he won’t but either way you move on. No more going back and forth and hoping he’ll change for his kids.

You went off principle. You let your kids father see his kids and see him working hard to better himself but not his children. What are you waiting for?! Take action and tell him you’ll see him in court.

#Childsupport

#Childsupportproblems

#Babbydaddy

#Court

#Singlemom

The Millennial Mom Is Poppin’

The millennial mom is running businesses, working and raising kids. She is a strong professional women holding down her family while trying to get paid. I am sis. Sis is me. In fact, it’s starting to even be more common for us hustling women to now be the bread winners of our families. We are moms but we have elevated our mindsets. We want the whole nine yards-financial stability, wealth and good health. The roles have definitely reversed in the 21st century and we aren’t complaining. What can I say the millennial mom is poppin’!

We are becoming technology savvy and breaking into male dominated fields. We are confident and we are changing the game. We are a sought after target audience. We are building valuable brands. Where the door used to be closed we are opening them and paving the way for more independent ladies to dive into whatever career path they choose.

Off to the trap house.

We were born from 1978 to 1994 and are successful go getters, wives and phenomenal mothers. You can not deny that motherhood has changed. We’re no longer ashamed and speaking up when we have postpartum depression. We are not putting our mental health on the back burner anymore. We are comfortable admitting we are going through postpartum. Yet we are still very much wearing our super mom capes as we ask for much needed help.

We realize we’re stronger as a tribe and it takes a village to raise these kids. We wear heels to close business deals, we breastfeed on demand anywhere, we are passion driven and refuse to settle in life. Isn’t it amazing to see what we moms can accomplish if we don’t hold in our emotions, play ourselves small and never loose site of who we truly are before we had kids?

We’re no longer sacrificing having children for careers, instead we’re making both work. We millennial moms are owning our motherhood. We are embracing our new priorities. We are having fun. We are reminding ourselves daily that we got this because we do. Motherhood isn’t easy but it’s beautiful and when we say we got this we mean it. We’re figuring out what works best for us and applying it and what doesn’t letting it go ASAP.

Think like a millionaire and act like your broke.

These kids is still alive and getting on our nerves. Stressing us out with their “I’m hungry” and “I’m bored”. *Rolls eyes* Yet, we’re loving every second of the joys of motherhood and having as many as we can handle. We are taking our kids everywhere and exposing them to the world around them one family vacation at a time.

We refuse to give up or give in to the stereotypical mom roles. You won’t catch us letting ourselves go. We are living our best lives and not regretting it for a single second. We understand the importance of putting ourselves first and we are practicing self care regularly.

We made it a mission to heal from our past, break generational curses and are glowing and thriving because of it. We are showing our children the truth that the real strength of a women is by not sacrificing ourselves but by coming into who we are through motherhood.

We are using our resources and educating ourselves, sharing our experiences and helping other women along the way as we stand tall through the hard days. The tears. The frustration. The pressure. We’re figuring out daycare, work, rent, expenses and etc. all while getting our shit together and being a parent.

Your little family is the best team you could ever have.

The idea that we must have it all together has been thrown out the window. No mother has it all perfectly held together. We’re all just giving our absolute best in hopes that we’re raising happy healthy kids.

The amount of effort and sleepless days we put in because of our career driven goals are only trumped by the love and memories we create for our families who are the motivation behind it all. We are a forced to be reckoned with. We are creating sista circles and becoming even more powerful.

We are millennial moms elevating the next generation. We’re pouring into them everything that wasn’t or we wished was poured into us. So our beloved children can have choices in life. To have options to do what they want rather than what they have to do. We’re teaching them to fish. To be self sufficient and feed themselves. To be better than we ever were. These kids are blessed to not have to grow through what we survived in these few decades.

Shout out to the mommas putting in major work. Who know the sacrifice and discipline. Keep grinding.

They will fly higher and seek more because we fought so hard to give them peace. Give yourself a big round of applause if your a millennial mom because you started that business, you stopped procrastinating, stopped over thinking and went after your goals. Your taking action and soon enough those small wins will lead to success. Be proud that you chose to invest in you. That’s the vital part of this message. Keep being so busy improving yourself so that your kids reflect your growth because you don’t get a second chance raising them. Go hard now!

#Millenialmom

#Oldschoolnewschoolremix

#Momsbreakingcycles

#Workingmommas

#Momswhodothemost

#Embracingmotherhood

#Momswearheels

C’mon New Year Affirmations!

I’m claiming everything this year. 2020 will be MY year. Periodt! Whose with me? Whose not letting their goals go unfinished? A new decade is on the horizon and it’s time for our dreams to come true. That business? Start it. That toxic relationship? Let it go. That higher education you always wanted? Go for it. That dream vacation? Take it. That mentorship? You can never know enough so reach out and make those valuable connections. That “no” you received? Go harder. This year it’s time to be fearless in the pursuit of happiness.

Do you boo.

We’ve been in survival mode way to long. It’s time we start living! We’re not ok anymore with just progressing this year, we’re ready to celebrate our accomplishments. I know I plan on working a lot so I can do more celebrating, even the small victories because those are crucial to your overall success too. Every boss move I make I’m popping champagne for all the pain I experienced in my loosing season.

I’ve been preparing for this year all year. I planted seeds last year that I’ve been watering and waiting to bloom. Having patience is the hard part because it’s usually not my forte (patience is definitely a virtue that I’ve come to realize it is a must though). Trusting the process and not making excuses when problems occur but working through them and keeping a positive mindset has been the vibe this year.

First, thing on my agenda for the new year is changing my last name. Second, getting passports stamped. Third, investing in a few projects to help get my business booming. Fourth, purchase my first property to get my investment portfolio growing. Lastly, I’ll be toning down my spending, in order, to be financially responsible so I can keep them bands in the bank so I can invest more.

I never want to live paycheck to paycheck again, see another insufficient funds fee again, or need government assistance again in life. I never want to go without the luxuries that I love like getting my hair and nails done because my kids need something. I always want to be able to do both. Provide for my kids and enjoy my wants.

I’m only hanging with the inspired, motivated, grateful, open minded and passionate. If you don’t want the good life as bad as I do we can not be friends. I’m on a mission for my family and I don’t need any distractions. This year is all action. If I don’t like your energy or it’s not good for my soul it must exit stage left. Negativity will not thrive in my world. I don’t care who got the tea or if it’s pippin hot either if it doesn’t concern me it is not my business. I’m so focused on my hustle. I just don’t care what’s going on in the media or in other peoples household. I’m after this money so don’t disrupt my grinding to discuss other people’s problems.

My life is so good right now and will be even better with my kind of determination. In November I sat down and mapped out this upcoming year. I’m that ready to put in this work because if you stay ready you don’t have to get ready. Pretty simple. Everything I vision I want it done right with minimal mistake. I’m not cheating, skipping steps, or trying to figure out a shortcut or selling my soul so I realize it’s going to take me a little longer. It’s never a will she win but a when I win how will I use my life to better the lives of my kids. In 2020 we ain’t doing nothing mediocre. No more stalling on our growth or over looking our self. We staying in our bag and investing in our come up.

Whew, the pressure is on. I’m competing with myself so this journey is intense and is very personal. With blood, sweat and tears I plan to rise in my niche and be someone else’s hope in their darkest hour. My mood for 2020 is I can, I will, watch me. I’m increasing my effort so whether a opportunity knocks or not I intend to build doors and make my own tables.

It’s absolutely necessary for my independence and freedom that I crave. I’ve done major shifting in my personal and work life to be able to balance this upcoming season. I’m all the way here for a year of nothing but flourishing! I’m upgrading EVERYTHING-my mindset, my house, my car, my inventory. I’ll continue to be humble but this year is my year to establish myself in the black blogging community, put my motherhood first, and bask in my internal happiness.

The time is now. I’m living in luxury, thriving in my career, finances exceptionally stable, my audience is so big, and relationships are so strong. I am in love with my life and my self esteem is through the roof. My word for this year is courage. I am taking risks and courageously living my best life.

This year is going to be so money.

I accept everything I deserve this year. Amen!

What are you claiming this year?

#NewYearwhodis

#Newbeginnings

#Affirmations

#Queenin

#Upnext

#Winningseason

Dear Fathers, No Excuses For These Little Ones Happiness.

A lot of men and women didn’t get the experience of having a wonderful father. It’s time to break that generational curse and change that. Dear fathers, promise your unborn children that as a man you’ll step up and be the loving father they deserve no matter what circumstances surrounded them coming into this world. Once you have a child it’s no longer about you. It becomes all about your little ones happiness. No excuses.

I’m only discussing you men because the saying mommas baby, daddy’s maybe is pure facts. I know plenty of single moms and countless kids whose fathers are not in the picture like they should be for many reasons, but at the end of the day there’s no excuse that will validate any father not being in his kids life. How could you not take one look at your kid and not want to make better choices?

I despise when fathers blame their kids mother for not being around. If your child’s mother is playing games and using your kid as a pawn exercise your rights, take them to court! Stop letting that be the reason you don’t see your kids. Put them in a position to where they have to give you visitations or they will get in trouble by the law. Get a coparenting plan in action and raise your kid.

Involved fathers are irreplaceable.

Trust me there’s no way in hell someone could tell me I can’t see my child without me jumping through hoops to change that. If it’s important to you you’ll figure it out and make it work. You don’t have to prove to your kids mom you deserve to be in your kids life if your doing the right thing and being consistent in their lives, helping do your part financially and being emotionally supportive to your child. Your need to show your kid that you love them unconditionally and will always put them first with your actions.

I am product of a broken home. My parents didn’t communicate well and that left gaps in my childhood where I didn’t see my real father for sometimes years. Looking back I fault both of my parents for not figuring out how to get along for my sake but I respect my mom more for never allowing me to miss a beat and for never leaving me since my dad went ghost. As an adult I have chosen to forgive him for my own healing process but I haven’t forgot how it made me feel to be abandoned and have to learn to cope. At the end of the day I was an innocent child and he could have had a relationship with me if he chose to fight for one.

While he was MIA my mom worked her butt off and never received a dime in child support because of her pride. I don’t think it’s fair that she carried the weight of parenthood by herself but I’m a different kind of women. We go half on a baby we go half on everything! Periodt. She took the loss like a G she kept it moving and found me a wonderful stepdad.

Before then, she probably didn’t notice how her stress from being a single parent affected me but it did. She was easily angered and quick to yell at me and tear me down because deep down she was frustrated and even hurt that she got herself into raising a kid by herself. Being a mom now, I understand how hard it must have been physically and mentally. I know her journey was an uphill battle but she did it and I’m proud to call her my mom.

So while I write this I sit back and think about how many of kids like me were birthed into confusion. Into some straight up mess. Yet, how many daddies will apologize or make it better so that the next generation doesn’t make the same mistakes?

I know a guy whose child’s mother was being childish and bitter about their breakup and jumped state. He was a active parent not a seasonal dad only coming around when he wanted to or when the holiday came but a good dad. Always present and took pride in his relationship with his daughter so not seeing her regularly pissed him off. He didn’t just take the move lightly. He sought action.

He played chess. She moved states he moved in that same state and called his kids mother one day and was like “hey, I’m your new neighbor.” Take that! Although, he probably was a terrible lover to her that didn’t change the fact that he was a great dad who was willing to make those adjustments to be apart of his child’s life even if that meant moving to a unfamiliar state. His daughter was that important. I can only imagine how loved that made her feel.

He didn’t even try to be with her mother either. Shit didn’t change as far as their relationship. That ship had sailed and it was over for them but he wasn’t going to just let her destroy his relationship with his daughter. He made it a point to make a big statement and let it be known to her that she could never take their child from him. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that no matter what she did to him it ultimately impacted their daughter. She wasn’t just hurting him but her child too and she left him alone and let him be a dad.

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

I see to many strong women playing both roles because daddy was a buster and doesn’t want to take care of his responsibilities. Yup, I’m name calling. No stand up guy would ever be an absent dad. I think it’s disgusting and unacceptable. I look down on deadbeat parents because no matter how well a mom is doing as a mom she can never replace the void of having a dad. So if you have a kids father that’s trying appreciate him even if his shit isn’t all the way together. Let him have a relationship with your kid/s.

Dads are so important. They can do so much for their child by being in their lives. Their support matters. Every father is suppose to be their daughters first love and their son’s first hero not their first heartbreak. It’s sad but absent fathers is a crisis all races face. It’s not just a black thing. You can watch teen mom and young and pregnant and see how many communities are affected by it. So many children are missing out on the positive affects of having an active dad in their life.

It doesn’t matter if your single, divorced, or widowed when dad’s not around it impacts a child’s development. From their self esteem to how they project their feelings, how they excel in school, to even how they treat others or allow others to treat them. It all plays a role in how they turn out. Some kids don’t miss what they never had while others don’t value themselves enough because they feel like they aren’t valuable since their own dad didn’t stick around for them. Thus, leading to anger and a lot of times depression.

We need fathers in the home but first and foremost we need dads to be present. Juggling babies, work, relationships and life is hard for mothers to do alone. Moms need emotional support. They need physical help. They need financial help. They didn’t make these kids by themselves and they shouldn’t be the only ones making sacrifices to take care of y’all children. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to that women or that child.

A dad is a pillar of strength and support.

Daddy issues are real. Kids without dads face higher risks of homelessness, dropping out of school and even suicide. It’s that real. When dads are involved kids are more likely to excel in school, not go to jail, and more likely to go to college because they have a sense of well being and confidence. Dads set the foundation for a child. His presence gives a child security and stability when he’s loving, affectionate, patient, protective, encouraging, hardworking, disciplines and is fun to be around. And the most important thing that makes them a great dad and good influence is when they respect their kids mother.

Shoutout to you super dads that are in your kids lives and making a lifelong impact by being an active parent. You could have ran from your responsibilities but you stepped up as a man and because of you your kids are loved by both parents. They have a healthy male role model. They have an amazing dad that they can always count on. That connection is vital. It leads to happier kids.

God bless all the good father’s!

#dadsareimportant

#nodeadbeats

#childrenareourfuture

#breakinggenerationalcurses

You Deserve A Spa Day At Glen Ivy Hot Springs

Are you a busy mom who focuses entirely on your families wants and needs? I get it I’m the same way. I just recently learned how important it is to keep yourself up after childbirth. Please mommy, don’t forget about YOU. Do something for yourself. You deserve a spa day to get your groove back. You deserve a spa day at Glen Ivy Hot Springs because taking the time to relax and unwind is good for your health, and will make you a better mom, wife, co worker and friend.

Glen Ivy Hot Springs is my favorite Southern California spa. The tiny oasis located in Corona, Ca off the 15 freeway makes wellness fun. Glen Ivy is known as one of America’s top spas that’s been around for 157 years and was even awarded Best Luxury Mineral Spring Spa in 2017. It offers such a calming environment for you to destress and recharge. I high recommend this spa and literally take everyone I know there.

Tip: The spa services are pricey but totally worth every penny.

I was first introduced to the spa life maybe 5 years ago through Glen Ivy and have been hooked every since. The Glen Ivy experience is like no other. The beautiful resort offers water aerobics, yoga, has two out door saunas, a steam room, and has 19 different swimming pools. From May to October they are open in the evening. They call it twilight hours which is pretty cool and it’s priced a little cheaper.

Taking a dip in one of the many pools.

Sometimes it can get really packed on the weekends, especially during the summer. I came once on Mother’s Day and it was crowded so holidays too. Luckily, we rented a private cabana that time and didn’t have to worry about seating. On most days there are plenty of loungers but if your worried about having a designated location to lounge I recommend renting a lounge chair or a cabana. I’ve done both and my favorite experience was when I came with a large group and we rented a cabana. I believe as long as you have at least two people you can rent them. It definitely will give you peace from the crowd and the VIP experience if your looking for one.

Grab a floating device and just chill. You deserve it.

Spa means health by water. There are many benefits the spa provides for your body and soul. From the salt water pools easing joint pain/cramps, inflammation, and soften your skin to hot and cold pools boosting your blood flow and flushing out toxins. Facials deep clean your pores and make your skin glow. The body treatments help your body recover from the daily stresses you constantly put it through. While other treatments like aromatherapy are known to promote better sleep, reduce mental stress and prevent depression.

What’s unique about Glen Ivy is that the as long as your 16 and older with an adult you can enjoy Glen Ivy. It offers something here for everyone. You can purchase “The Taking The Waters” admission and take advantage of the healing mineral waters, eat fresh healthy food, shop their exclusive boutique, catch up with your girls around the pool, reconnect and enjoy drinks with your bae with out getting any spa services. There are 3 types of admission and endless possibilities how you can relax your soul. All the above are great ways to spend your day though.

Getting some much needed R&R.

Tip: If it’s your birthday admission is free with your purchase of a 50 minute spa service.

I personally like to take advantage of Club Mud, The Grotto and The Ivy Kitchen. The clay from Club Mud will detoxify you and exfoliate your skin. I swear my skin has never felt softer. It’s also a fun experience too because it’s the only time you can get dirty as an adult and it’s ok. LOL. And don’t worry about getting clean after putting clay all over your body and even your face because Glen Ivy provides eucalyptus scented soap in their showers inside Club Mud. The soap smells so good and helps relax you while you rinse clay away from all the crevices it manages to get to.

Just in Club Mud getting dirty.

The Grotto is a full body moisturizing treatment. They put on a body mask, you hit the steam room and rinse. You’ll love it. The availability for this services books up quick so it’s best to book ahead a time. Now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. My go to food item is the nachos. They are big enough for multiple people to share and they are finger licking good. They never disappoint. I wish I could say more about the food but I usually eat before I come since I have to drive a pretty long way to get here. I do know that they serve everything from smoothies, snack to gourmet dishes to feed your hunger.

My go to the infamous nachos. Soooo good!

To me going to the spa helps me mentally and physically feel better. It’s no longer a luxury but a necessity. I’m always running around and this is how I decompress. I used to be nervous about spas because I thought you had to get naked and I just wasn’t confident enough to go. When I discovered Glen Ivy it was the best alternative for me because you dress like your going to the beach. Now I’ve worked my way up to not being afraid to get naked at other spas. I have lots of body confidence these days and I enjoy a nice rub down. I’m such a spa snob now. Hahaha. There’s no going back!

Relaxed and spirit refreshed.

Glen Ivy is an excellent way to celebrate a special occasion or gift someone you love to a day of relaxation. You can even purchase a membership. Club 1860 has different tiers you can join to customize the type of experience and discounted services you prefer while allowing you to affordably make health by water a part of your lifestyle.

Tip: The price of your admission goes down when you purchase a spa treatment.

If you’re a mom to be, never fear you can still come and get pampered after your first trimester. Pregnant moms can take advantage of the New Mum Massage. Just make sure you speak to your OBGYN and make sure whatever service you plan on getting is safe for your pregnancy. If it’s not recommended for you, you can always enjoy a nail service. Side note: if you recently just had a baby and are pumping they have a breastfeeding room for you to use.

I like to be handsfree as much as possible so I keep my debit card on file. That way if I want to purchase anything all I have to do is give my name and number. Then, I go by the bar at the Ivy Kitchen and scan my Id. In doing so I get a wristband and can purchase drinks without having to carry my ID. Also, don’t worry about paying for a locker. It’s free and they are located inside the Bath House.

Don’t cheat yourself, treat yourself in the most luxurious way.

For men they have customized experiences to met any of their needs. Whether they want to groom their beard or get their very first pedicure they can get pampered too. I actually think Glen Ivy is a awesome date idea. I see a lot couples drinking and enjoying the resort when I go. Matter of fact, I keep telling my man I’m going to take him. I really need to, but it just hasn’t happened yet. I think he’d love a couples massage. I actually just got a great idea. I’ll make that part of his Christmas gift since it’s right around the corner. When we go I promise I’ll write a post about it. I’m sure it will be a different experience.


Locker room selfie.

Just so you know towels and water are scattered throughout the entire resort. Stay hydrated my friends. It’s important to drink lots of water during your visit because lots of toxins are released and water helps flush them out. Plus, it’s located in the valley and the temperatures can get really hot.


To blessed to be stressed.

Did you know that massages release serotonin which is a happy hormone. Well now you know. Going to the spa will make you feel better so know you don’t need an excuse because you absolutely NEED a spa day. Your body will thank you.

Tip: A good rule of thumb is if you love your service don’t forget to tip and thank your technician or masseuse for a job well done.

Next time your feeling under the weather, enjoy a spa day!

Just in case your not a frequent spa goer and aren’t sure what to pack, don’t trip I got you covered.

Here’s what to pack:

1. Cellphone (don’t forget to download your favorite playlist or audiobook)

2. Charger

3. Sunscreen

4. Robe if you don’t want to rent theirs or coverup

5. Personal water bottle

6. Favorite face masks or creams

7. Shades

8. Journal and something to write with

9. A swim suit you don’t mind getting dirty

10. Flip flops

11. Change of clothes for the trip home because it might be cold on your way home

12. Deodorant

13. Earphones

Also, Glen Ivy has thought of everything. Don’t worry about bringing basic toiletries, such as, shampoo, lotion and soap. (A few less things you have to pack).

Spas are my go to for relaxation and self-care. I wish I had time to go more often. The only part that sucks is when it’s time to drive home after your all relaxed. Instead afterwards hopping in bed and catching some sleep I have to make a two hour drive down the highway back to San Diego. Although, that’s the downside I will continue to comeback for more wellness escapes. It’s always the break I need to let myself relax.

Share this article so that every knows how good of a treat Glen Ivy Hot Springs is. If you’ve never been make sure it’s on your things to do ASAP you’ll enjoy it.

All of us are 1 year postpartum
Dopest mom squad you know

Friendsgiving At Louisiana Purchase

This Saturday, I hosted an unforgettable Friendsgiving for my mom friends at Louisiana Purchase. It was a magical night in San Diego with tons of inspiring stories, lots of laughs, impeccable food, drinks, beautiful ambiance and a chance for all of us to make a difference and give back. Instead of doing your typical potluck for Friendsgiving I thought it’d be fun to switch it up and get my boss lady friends out the house for a ladies night at a hip restaurant and do some charity work.

We are so blessed throughout the year it feels good to give back to the less fortunate. My life hasn’t been perfect. I’m still waiting on some prayers to be answered but I do what I can. This year I can truly say I’m so fortunate and grateful to be around so many strong like minded women willing to do some good with their blessings. These are my tribe of sistas and I’m thankful for the support of each one of them. Without strength in numbers we are powerless. With it we can do amazing thing and this night was proof of it.

I requested that everyone bring a toy to be donated to the Black Infant Program. Whoever did was entered into a raffle where they could win a $50 amazon gift card. My only stipulation was if you won the gift card that you actually treat yourself.

We Mother’s give so much. It’s in our dna to over do it too sometimes and I just wanted the winner to buy herself something and not her kid anything. I’m serious you have to remind mommas to put themselves first because it’s human nature for us to nurture everyone but ourselves, but I’m trying to stop that way of thinking.

Food and drinks around the fire pit with these beauties.

I can’t even express how proud I was to see the ladies donate so many toys. They really payed it forward. I’m sure that this season we are sure to bring a lot of holiday cheer to a deserving family and I can’t stop bragging about how humbled I am to see what Boss Mommy Club can accomplish. We may be a tiny community now, but it is my hope the spirit of womanhood and empowerment grows in each and everyone of these women and as they become more successful may their ability to give back continue to be apart of their journey.

I never had a Friendsgiving before but in the spirit of gratitude I couldn’t resist adopting this new popular tradition because I love my framily. I like the whole idea of getting together with your friends and celebrating the holidays. Of course, it wouldn’t be in Tasia fashion for it to not be EXTRA. In my world there’s no such thing as TO EXTRA because life is to short to live it mediocre. Life is to be lived to the fullest and if you know me you know I live by momma gotta have a life too.

When the cocktails kick in hit a 90’s pose.

Us mommy’s had a wonderful time at Louisiana Purchase in North Park, San Diego. They are known for there southern cuisine (with a sophisticated twist). I grew up eating cajun food and southern dishes because my mom is from the boot, so Louisiana Purchase was a no brainer for me. When I think of Thanksgiving, soul food is really the only thing that pops in my head. In my mind there is no such thing as Thanksgiving without it. In fact, I’ve made my peace about gaining 10lbs due to all the delicious food I was not going to deny myself from eating from Thanksgiving To New Years.

Who else ain’t worried about no diet??

I love being able to share my culture and I couldn’t wait to share Louisiana Purchase with all my Boss Mommy’s. Plus, I heard through the grapevine that they had bomb ass cocktails. And yes, it’s true. Their drinks are phenomenal! I had the mojito and the neighbor hustle. You should try them. The neighborhood hustle is pretty sweet like a pina colada but very tasty. The mojito is strong and good.

As far as food goes, my guest and I shared the garlic butter biscuits and sweet potatoe cornbread which were great. Then, for the main course I had the everyday Monday which is basically beans and rice with sausage. A good sized portion with the right amount of kick and lots of flavor. It was spicy but not to spicy. It reminded me of my moms beans and rice. So you can say they hit the nail in the coffin in the taste department and I was thoroughly impressed.

As we all went around the table and expressed what we were thankful for I sampled the catfish from the bayou in the tartar sauce and that was superb. As well as the shrimp sliders. OMG, they were so good too. I also, tried the Jenny pasta and that was really delicious. All I can say is by the 2nd round of drinks it got real sentimental and the love was overflowing and our bellies were satisfied.

The energy of Louisiana Purchase was simply amazing. The unique plates and menus gave it a cool little flare. To be around the fire pit outside was real camp Fire-ish. Then, to top it off they have blankets!!! It made the atmosphere even more relaxing to be able to snuggle under the blankets and vibe with your drinks in hand. At one point the conversation got so good I had a real Sara Jessica Parker moment.

Everything I tried looked and tasted scrumptious. I love Louisiana Purchases simple and clean design. It’s fun and cute. Inside is way bigger than it looks from the outside. From what I seen there is lots of indoor seating but not so much outdoor space. If your looking to sit in our exact location when you go I suggest making a reservation because it’s pretty much the hot spot. You’ll be waiting a long time if you don’t reserve in advance.

My girls keep telling me they loved Friendsgiving at Louisiana Purchase. I did too. The hospitality was so great I can’t complain about a single thing except I‘m disappointed I didn’t get to try the gumbo due to tummy problems. I’ll get that next time though.

For dessert we all had the beignet sprinkles with powdered sugar. I think these were the highlight for me. Since, I had such good beignets at Brenda’s soul food in San Francisco that we’re the best I thought I’d ever had until yesterday. The ones here at Louisiana Purchase are without a doubt the best I’ve had ever.

Have you ever had something so good it ruined it for you because nothing ever is good enough after that moment of bliss? Well, when I say my mouth is salivating thinking about how good and moist those beignets were from Louisiana Purchase are I wanna go back right now. Cafe Du Monde in the French quarters has nothing on these beignets from Louisiana Purchase, periodt.

The joy you feel on the inside radiates on the outside. I love these women. (Do you see those beignets in the background?)

I know large groups can be overwhelming but we had the best hostess. She even participated and help picked the raffle winner. Thanks boo. She was friendly and on top of everything. She made sure we knew exactly what was in each dish and recommended her favorites.

Tip: I almost forgot they have a secret menu. The menu changes daily from what the waitress said.

We were well taken care of all night. I can’t remember her name but she was a blonde pregnant women with the most alluring glow. Awwww I just love pregnant women. It’s something about knowing what they sacrifice to bring life into this world makes me a softy for them. God bless her and welcome to motherhood.

I actually think it was fate that our mommy group had a soon to be mommy as our waitress because we could all pour into her wonderful mom advice. If you ever read this sweetheart, Congratulations on your baby boy! You will be an amazing mommy as long as you try.

Just little ole me trying to make a difference.

From someone who travels to Louisiana regularly I definitely approve of this restaurant. Go on and get your soul food fix here you won’t be disappointed. Just don’t expect the food to taste like those hole in the wall restaurants like they have around Xavier University. It is not to be compared. Louisiana Purchase is better and made with better quality of ingredients. I would say for a more sophisticated palate. It is still soul food but more refined. And get this it’s on Louisiana St in North Park so it’s really easy to find.

Also, If you would like to help make this Christmas a special one for a family in need contact The Black Infant Health Program and see what you can do. There number is 1 (619) 266-7466 or e-mail them at bih@neighborhoodhouse.org.

#Bmcfriendsgiving

#Momsgivingback

#Tistheseason

#Blessedandthankful

#Theworldneedsmoreladybosses

#Louisanapurchase

#BlackInfantProgram

The Perks Of Having Mom Friends

Shoutout to all my friends that have dealt with all my rants through pregnancy, through childbirth and through motherhood. At this point there’s no such thing as TMI anymore because you guys have listened to me spill the beans about everything under the sun. I mean EVERYTHING! I don’t know what I’d do without being able to tell y’all the specifics.

Man, we be having some good conversations when I’m on the toilet or hiding in the closet away from my kids (I know I’m not the only one who hides from their kids). I have to or they will mom me to death.

If you don’t currently have mom friends. I suggest you get you some. Get you some mom friends that get it and understand. I got mine organically from friends of friends but now days there’s support groups everywhere where you can find some pretty decent mom friends.

I hear there’s even apps where you can meet other moms, or try introducing yourself to other moms when you take your kids to the park, your kid’s classmate birthday parties or you can always join my Facebook group Boss Mommy Club. Either way don’t be afraid put yourself out there. I promise you motherhood is more fun with mom friends.

Last year, my daughter’s besties mom and I became friends and been rocking every since. Now she’s one of my closest friends and to think I was avoiding meeting her in the beginning because I hate awkward introductions. For months, our kids tried getting us to meet so they could have play dates but I never made a effort because I really didn’t like the idea of my daughter going over anyone’s house at that time.

Then, one day we met and I really liked her and her vibe. We were both pregnant and with boys so we had that in common. We both worked and had families. Both of our men travel a lot for business and we do a lot of raising our kids by ourselves. We’re both basically single moms until our men come home, which can be challenging and lonely sometimes. To find someone going through something similar and could relate was awesome.

We talked and just clicked. Like instant best friends. Now we are really good friends. We help pick up and drop off our kids to different activities. We’ve traveled out the state to cheer competitions with each other and I trust her with my child because she treats her like family. We’ve even got our men together and now they are friends making it a family affair.

Me and Tamika at church.

We take turns giving each other kid free days but we also go to church together with our families and occasionally will have our mom nights out. All in all, we work together to raise our kids and she’s been really valuable in helping me grow as a person because she’s just a motivated as me to get this schmoney and take care of our families.

We can talk about any and everything-love, marriage, kids, family, life, and work. We’re on the same page for just about everything. We share all our resources. Don’t you just hate when people won’t let you in on how they are managing like helping another sister out will dim their sparkle because it won’t. We both want to see each other win.

It takes a village to raise a child and I’ve filled mine up with mom friends. I can go on and on, about how important mom friends are and why you need them because I know I wouldn’t be able to survive without mine.

As a mom having mom friends that take time out of their busy schedule to show up for you and support you through all your mommy problems is such a blessing. Us moms have to stick together.

There are so many perks to having mom friends.

My mom friends have offered me great advice, tips and useful parenting experience. They have been inspiring when I was overwhelmed and exhausted by motherhood. Also, there’s nothing better than being able to learn, laugh, and grow alongside them through traveling, crafts, and kid activities.

I pray you find mom friends that become your framily like I have because when they do they help motherhood seem a little easier. There are plenty of different types of moms and when you find one that is down to earth and fits your lifestyle it’s pretty cool. You shouldn’t feel alone on this journey and mom friends can help you enjoy the ride.

Me and Tamika with almost all of our kids.

Over the years I’ve experienced lots of different types of mom friends. Some good and some bad but I learned a little something from all of them. Whether we shared stories, recipes, laughs, accomplishments, or tears some of my best memories were made with my mom friends.

Having a mom tribe is one of the best decisions I made. I think once you have kids there’s only so much you and your friends without kids can talk about or do together when you don’t have a sitter. I’m not saying you’ll loose all your friends who aren’t parents but you might not be as close when your lives are going in different directions just because you can’t come and go as freely as someone without kids.

The supportive and encouraging mom. They understand because they are struggling to balance the demands of life and motherhood too. They come with hugs, warm cooked meals, positive vibes, a bottle of whine and a listening ear because they’ve been in your shoes before. They can relate and know exactly how to give mom-to-mom support since they have needed those things as well at one point or another.

The mom guru. Depending on what stage of parenting your mom friend is at they can give great advice or have great useful tips on how to deal with your child as they reach each milestone. Which can also be helpful in knowing if your child is developing at a good speed or not, or what to expect once they reach certain age.

If you think having a baby is hard wait until your child reaches puberty and you have to give the “sex talk”. I’m not even ready! Or when they’re college bound and your worrying if you gave your kids all the tools they’ll need to build a life better than the one you gave them. Your going to want someone whose been there and done that to show you the ropes.

Friends who pray together stay together.

The fun crafty mom. They don’t mind doing kid friendly activities. If your mom friend and you have kids that are close in age and actually get along that makes play dates just as enjoyable for you as it does for your child. No one wants to hear their kids arguing when you finally get some adult interaction that you’ve been desperately needing. That way it’s a win/win situation for all parties. I find that I’m actually more prone to do kid activities longer if I have a mom friend to gossip with. Then, when it’s time to leave we both synchronize leaving at the same time that way one kid isn’t jealous that the other one still gets to play.

Budgetnista mom. They are on a strict budget or like to stick to a budget. Everyone knows raising kids can get very pricey especially if you wanna keep them active and entertained. There’s nothing better than a mom friend that coupons or likes finding affordable things to do, or free stuff that y’all can do with the kids like movies in the park during the summer nights.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get the little ones to have fun you just need to have a good imagination and an open mind. Typically all the stuff us parents worry about kids could care less about so you really don’t have to spend and arm and a leg unless you just want to and got it like that.

Otherwise, two or more mommanistas planning a kids event or outing should not only be creative and fun but only cost a little or nothing. SCORE! Whoever says I wish I spent more anyways?

The party pooper mom. They never need an excuse to not go to something. They are always tired and their family is their top priority. They are not showing up to anything you host and it’s not personal. As a mom you know that kids give you universal sympathy. You can blame anything on your kids and another mom won’t ask you a million questions. For example, if my kids are sick- I’m not going. If my kids are bad -I’m not going. If I’m not in the mood-I’m not going.

Don’t make any mom feel guilty for not going. She’s got her hands full. Always cordially invite her to stuff but don’t get mad if she doesn’t RSVP. At the end of the day take her for who she is. She’s not a socialite. Maybe she just likes her Netflix and naps at home. Some moms are so sensitive and take other moms not showing up to things as offensive. That needs to stop.

Dr. mom. They will let you know if something is normal or not. After I had my c-section I wanted to see all my friends scars so I could have something to compare it to. Just to make sure the doctors didn’t butcher me. So of course my friends didn’t need any convincing. They were like step right up, take a look. To see their scars eased my mind. They assured me I would heal eventually but it would take time. I just had to be patient.

At a Concert in Las Vegas.

The not scared of anything mom. They are not afraid of tantrums or tears and they don’t get embarrassed when you have to discipline your child for having a meltdown in public. Sometimes when they see you livid that will just give you that look like you are doing exactly what your suppose to do don’t worry about everyone starring.

Also, when you have poor reaction time they jump in and save the day. Nothing surprises them or scared them. They roll with the punches After all, they are not scared of anything.

The open minded mom. Mom friends don’t criticize your parenting style. They don’t tell you how to parent but will offer funny accounts of the tantrums their kids have thrown and try and make you feel better. They are non judgements and if they ever become drop them like a bad habit.

There is no competition with you and an open minded momma. She gets that you are doing what’s best for you and your child even if she doesn’t agree. These moms are the best type of friends to have because they support you for you and never shame you or force their ideas on you.

The Funny mom. She has sarcastic mom humor. They know your not going to kill your kid no matter how angry you are. Sometimes you just want your kids to think you might so they can give a dam about your feelings.

I grew up in the era where it wasn’t uncommon to get your ass beat with a belt. Talk about learning your lesson. Now my 14 year old acts as if he’s a slave if he has to lift a finger around the house. These kids these days are so spoiled. Talking doesn’t always work sometimes you gotta scream and pretend your going to break their phone to get them to act right.

I’m so the funny mom who loves her little assholes but doesn’t want a cps case when I’m practicing tough love. I need friends around me that aren’t afraid to parent their kids because I’m not. My methods may be unconventional but laughter is my way of trying not loose my mind stressed about my bad ass kids. All kids is bad so this is not up for debate. And when I say bad that includes annoying too.

The super mom. She meets you at the middle. Say your forget wipes. 9 times out of 10 they probably have them and have no problem sharing. They never leave the house without snacks or water. Don’t nobody got time for long lines when your out in public with kids with little or no attention spans.

They are over prepared and thank goodness because when your a hot mess you need a mom friend who has your back.

The mom shamer. She thinks she’s better than you at everything. In her dreams her kid is a genius and it’s all because of her organic baby food and the breastmilk.

The always late mom. Who else is going to understand stand why your always late because you keep going over the list in your head of shit you can’t leave the house without. Not to mention each kid adds at least 30 minutes to every thing.

Someone is always loosing something, forgets something, is wearing the wrong outfit, or gets distracted and next thing you know your plans of getting out the house on time is ruined.

My keys are usually the biggest issue I have. I can never find them. I usually walk in the house with so much stuff and they just land in different places every time. The worst is when they were lost in my sons car seat for 30 minutes. I accidentally dropped them in there when I buckled him in and searched inside the house for 30 minutes before realizing. Smh.

The big hearted mom. They give you the best hand me downs. If you don’t listen to any thing I say at least listen to this…kids don’t need half the stuff we buy them. Spending so much money on clothes for babies is ridiculous but we do it anyway. I get it and I’ve done it but I except all hand me downs from friends who I know take great care of their stuff. I mix the old with the new and my kids can’t tell the difference.

The over protective mom. She’s scared to let her kid be a kid. She watches them like a hawk and doesn’t let her child explore and do childlike things. She tends to always think the worst possible thing might occur and she’s prepared if it does.

Her kids are usually annoyed by her but she doesn’t care she plans on babying her child until they are married with their own kids. My advice for befriending these types of moms is know your limits. Don’t punish your child for her overthinking.

Don’t let her issues affect you and your child. Everyone parents different and just because she’s a scary mommy doesn’t mean you don’t love your child just as much as she loves hers.

The gossiping mom. They have side conversations with their kids when they are talking on the phone with you too. So it’s not awkward if you are carrying on two conversations at once. My favorite low maintenance mom friends are the ones where if the call drops nobody calls back and nobody’s feelings are hurt.

It’s so hard having a decent convo around kids anyways because for some reason the minute you answer the phone everybody in your house needs your attention. Everything is urgent and nothing can wait smh.

Our two beautiful boys 3 weeks apart.

The beautiful hot mess mom. They totally don’t care if you hair is a hot mess, your house is a hot mess or your car is a hot mess. After all once you have kids your life is a hot mess. Your nice clothes get stained from the trenches of parenthood. Your once every two week nail appointments get stretched out longer and and longer.

Your lucky if all your nails haven’t broke off after 3 weeks. There’s a constant battle between your kids looking presentable or you and it never seems to work out in your favor. That’s why they’ve adopted the attitude of your lucky I even showed up.

The don’t sugarcoat shit mom. My favorite kind of bad ass mom. The reason is because real friends keep it real with each other even if the truth hurts. This momma is honest and someone you can trust. When they are concerned they are going to bring it to your attention. There’s nothing worst than a hater that will let you fail. She won’t let you fail she will encourage and and uplift you but also let you know how you need to fix your crown.

You just need to know it’s coming from a good place. This momma wants you to be the best mother you can be for your children. She wishes you well and she’s not going to let you give up on yourself. She might be my favorite type of mom.

Our two 12 year olds at their cheer competition.

The haute momma. She’s always overdressed and somehow manages to get her sexy back after having kids. She firmly believes if you got it flaunt it. She might dress a little inappropriate at times but she’s a good person.

The outside appearance is not a reason to friend or unfriendly anyone. Never judge a book by its cover and never look down on anyone for not having the same fashion sense as you. Some people don’t know they dress tacky and they absolutely love it. At the end of the day confidence is sexy.

What type of mom friend are you? Or are you a mixture of a few?

There are no wrong answers.

#Momfriends

#Girlpower

#Ittakesavillage

#Mommastired

#Momswhodrinktogethersticktogether

#Momsquad

5 Tips For Work-Life Balance

Do you ever feel like your struggling with work-life balance? You don’t have to be. I have 5 tips to help you balance your personal and work life. If your a working mom like me, maintaining a healthy work-life balance is crucial for your mental health and physical health. It helps prevent stress and burn out so you can connect with what matters the most to you, your family.

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BTW Stretch Marks Are Beautiful

Wear your stripes, your lines with pride. At this point I feel like my stretch marks are apart of me. I’ve earned these stripes in birthing 3 beautiful babies and I except every single imperfection. I’m beautiful just the way I am and you are beautiful just the way you are, stretch marks, incision scars, little pouch, mommy rolls, sagging tits and all.

Stretch marks are so common during pregnancy that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Even that little bit of extra skin around your tummy is to be expected. I feel like its a milestone saying welcome to womanhood because real women have stretch marks on their breast, thighs, lower back and sometimes on their arms and that’s even before having children. I say no matter where you have them embrace them. Someone out there sees your body as their dream body.

I don’t agree with going under the knife unless you absolutely need to. I see so many girls getting new bodies and if they are happy I’m happy for them, but that will never be an option to me. I won’t let social media and this idea of being perfect hype me up. Being vain could essentially cost you your life and that’s not a risk I’m willing to take at this moment so I’ll just leave my stretch marks alone.

To me that’s nothing to play with. It’s never that serious but if it is for you know that you are enough before and after any surgery. As a mom know that your body represents how amazingly strong you are. That SnapBack that you see and wish you had 9xs out of 10 is fake. That girl on IG is sucking in her stomach and has been practicing in the mirror for hours to get her angles just right. That, or she may not be showing you that she’s on a strict diet or using some weight loss supplement. Majority only posts their wins not their reality. In reality no ones loosing their baby weight in a month.

Even with a waist trainer it still takes time. If you treat your body right you can get there but if you never get to your pre babies weight it isn’t the end of the world. Just don’t set yourself up for failure comparing your journey to someone else’s. Life in the postpartum period is uncomfortable for everyone because so much change is occurring to your body but remain body positive. Love the skin your in because God makes no mistakes. YOU ARE PERFECT. He beautifully crafted you to bare those beautiful babies. That’s the blessing.

Most men think our stripes are sexy af. That’s the type of grown ass man that you should have in your life. One that loves all of you and understands the beauty in housing children. Some women aren’t so lucky. You should feel thankful God chose you to be a mother. I know am and that’s why I wear bikinis and you can’t tell me I’m not cute with my mom bod. I’m proud of my body and its ability to stretch itself in ways that allowed me to birth 3 healthy babies.

So those little imperfections I used to worry about I’ve worked hard to except. Without them I wouldn’t have my children. Some of y’all are going to look at me and think why does she have insecurities she’s so small but we all have flaws. I’ve breastfed three babies and my boobs have gotten smaller every time. I rubbed cocoa butter on my stomach all day while pregnant and I don’t have stretch marks on my stomach but I have them on my thighs. My stomachs squishy, my arms are huge and I have dimples on my thighs. I could keep poking at myself but I won’t. I choose to focus on the things I do like about myself.

My curves are the new me. They are apart of my transformation. So instead of tearing myself down. I’m going on a journey of building myself up. Getting myself out of the mindset that my waist should be snatched and my edges should always be laid. I am not perfect and I don’t care to be. I’m a mom of three and I think I look good with a little extra weight on me. My spirit is pure and my kids love me. That’s what’s important.

My mom body goals is just to be strong, confident and healthy.

Feeling insecure about your body takes away from the beauty of motherhood. Those scars represent love and life, so don’t you ever feel bad about them. Appreciate yourself and show yourself more love momma. Strut yo shit!

#strechmarksonfleek

#soreal

#bodypositive

#selflove

#Unapologeticallyme

Why It’s Important To Master Letting Go

The one thing that you can’t get back is time. Once you mature and realize that life is to short to be miserable and unhappy, letting go becomes a way of life. All you have to do is stop making bullshit excuses to hold on to shit that’s weighing you down. You ever wonder why you see everyone around you getting blessed but not you? It’s often times because your blocking your own blessings by not letting go.

Many of us were not taught to let go. Yet, letting go is liberating. For some reason men tend to be scared to let down women and women just don’t like to be alone. You have to let go of relationships that are not for you, in order, to live a healthier life. Let go of all toxic people (family members included), jobs that hold you back, your own fear and the idea that you should expect anything from anyone other than God.

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Baby Teeth Matter

I work in the dental field as a dental assistant and I’m always surprised how many parents don’t realize how important it is to take care of your child’s baby teeth. Teeth in general are just as important as your other body parts. You want to take daily care of them just as you would your your liver or your heart.

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Before You Have Kids 15 Things You Should Know

To the females that don’t have kids yet. This post is for you. There’s so much to expect when your expecting. There’s so much to learn if your a new mom if you haven’t taken a child development class. People will warn you about all the crying, the sleepless nights and how expensive kids are but in real life the first year is all about survival. You have to be realistic and throw away all your expectations and do what works for your family.

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The 10th Annual Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic

On Saturday, October 5th, 2919 I attended the 10th annual Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic. I absolutely enjoyed this dope event. I enjoyed a day of being a Boujee milf with my extra’d ass friends. We sipped Veuve Cliquot champagne, ate fancy cheeses and mingled with the most stylish guys and dolls at Will Rodgers State Historic Park.

Polo matches are typically a drag to me but the perfect backdrop on a gorgeous day filled with lots of champagne, fashion and fun. I played life size board games, met fabulous people, took lots of pictures while the deejay played all the jams.

If your like me and never attended an event of this nature you definitely want to be prepared and know what to expect. So I’ve created a little guide and I hope this helps if you’re planning to attend next year.

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Breakfast Bitch Review

I hosted a mommy meetup at Breakfast Bitch last Saturday with around 6 of my girls. I’ve been wanting to try this new spot for a while and I’m glad I did. The food was delicious, the slogans on the wall were litty and the vibe was mad cool. They played good music, the lines weren’t extremely long and the staff was super friendly and catered to all our needs.

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Should Kids Miss School For Travel?

This week on the internet I saw a post posing the question “Is travel a valid reason for kids to skip school?” and while reading through the comments I was surprised how many parents would not let their child miss a single day of school. I personally don’t have an issue with it unless they are falling behind academically.

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5 Ways To Help A New Mom

Who else is constantly seeing pregnancy or birth announcements all up and down their timeline? Just about everyday a new baby is born or on its way. I just want to say Yayyyy to ALL the moms to be! I’m so excited for all you mother-to-be’s (whether your a first time mom or veteran mom expanding your family), Congrats!

Not only does pregnancy bring tons of hormonal changes but let be honest shit is never the same once you become a mother. Adapting to your new normal is definitely a process. 80% of moms tend to feel overwhelmed and can use your help even if they don’t want to admit it. If your not pregnant but apart of the village and excited, here’s how you can make moms life a little easier after she’s had her baby. Here are some ways you can help out.

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Is Breastfeeding For You?

Liquid gold, momma’s milk whatever you choose to call breast milk is God’s gift to babies. It’s really all a baby needs- a whole meal all in one but is breastfeeding for you?

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Money Saving Secret

Paying with cash will help you save money and with the money you save you can invest back into yourself. Whether that’s to take a class to develop your craft more, purchase more tools to grow your business, meet a personal financial goal, or save for a vacation. You’ll be surprised what you can achieve financially when you plan with a purpose, execute and put your money in areas that will bring you abundance.

“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.”

-Dave Ramsey

On a quest to save money to fund my dream wedding I learned about the cash envelope system. The key of the envelope system is to budget your money using envelopes for different categories of your household expenses. It forces you to accurately budget your expenses every month and stop overspending.

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Women Are Some Kind Of Magic: My Birth Story

I’m a huge birthday person. Like a huge birthday person. I love celebrating my birthday every year. In my head my birthday is a national holiday.

I dread getting older, but I love celebrating my birthday in some kind of grand way. It’s a Leo thing.

Last year, as my birthday was approaching I was getting ready to fuck it up per usual, while being big and of course pregnant. I had my heart set on a glitter theme party and I was going to show up looking like a big, sexy disco ball. It was gonna be a hot glitter mess of a good time.

I decided on a good food spot to eat because what does a pregnant lady absolutely enjoy other than food? Nothing. Then, I was going to make all my beautiful friends wear something shiny and sparkly so I could get a cute maternity photo shoot out of the deal.

I had the perfect dress and the perfect heels for the occasion and they are both still sitting in my closet waiting to be put to use because someone couldn’t wait to meet his mommy.

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How To Make Milksicles

Teething is a normal part of a baby’s development when their baby teeth are in the process of erupting. It typically occurs from 6-24 months of age and trust me you will know.

During this time your child will most likely experience discomfort due to tender and swollen gums, become irritable, go through tons of bibs from drooling, and try to bite on any and everything to relieve the pain. Oh and lots of crying.

Teething is a stressful time for you and your baby as you struggle to find ways to relieve their pain but thanks to one mom named Tasia Blackwell (same name gang 💁🏾‍♀️ so I like her already) who invented Milksicles there’s a solution to this challenge.

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I have the same 24 hours as anyone else and I maximize all of it or at least I try. When do I rest with 3 little ones you ask. Ha! What’s sleep when you have a newborn. If your a parent you definitely understand where I’m coming from. Even in mombie mode I’m taking care of business. Challenges arise all the time but guess what. I walk up to them confidently and say who gone stop me? Not you! And that my friends is how you take charge of your life. Be the boss of your life.

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