Life Doesn’t Come With A Manual It Comes With A Mother

I consider myself a momma bear mixed with a lot of momma shark do do do do. I am extremely over protective of all the children in my life. They are all my babies. Whether they are blood related or not they are by hood law my family and that’s not up for debate. Therefore, if you mess with anyone in my family but especially any one of my kids. I’m going to step in and take up for them. I will defend them wrong or right. It’s family over everything.

That’s just how I was raised.

I’m known to check parents, administrators and if I have to with no hesitation I’ll check a disrespectful child if I can not find their parent fast enough. If you don’t like it parent your child so I don’t have to.

Let any child or any adult cross boundaries of respect with the children I love I can guarantee you that I will be vocal about my stance on the situation. When you mess with my kids my attack and protect instincts automatically kick in. I’m a Christian but I’m no punk. I’m still a work in progress, meaning don’t test my gangsta.

Kids can be mean.

Recently, my 10 year old daughter told me that she had been experiencing bullying from some girl at her school. She said she had reported it and nothing was done. So of course, I immediately was pissed. First off, I was pissed bullying was even occurring. Secondly, I grew even more so pissed that the adults my daughter thought she could trust dropped the ball, and my daughter felt like she couldn’t trust them.

On the other hand, I was glad my daughter felt comfortable enough to share this hard experience with me. I always want to be someone my daughter can talk openly to. I explained to her the best way I could that it was not her fault. I let her know that I believed her and she did the right thing by telling me.

I later found out the bullying had been going on for a while. My daughter had told me of a previous incident on the tether ball court with the same girl who had called her the b word and said she was trash a few weeks prior. As soon as I heard the girls name again I was immediately infuriated.

That was until my daughter asked me, “If I fight a bully would I get in trouble?” I was shocked. Half of me was like go KiKi! While the other half of me was like how do I adult this situation when in actuality I totally understood where she was coming from.

My baby was tired of living in fear.

The little bully was always bothering her even when she tried to avoid her. Therefore, how could I be mad if she beat the little girl up? Although, I wouldn’t be upset if my child gave that bully a knuckle sandwich or two, or three. The more important question was what advice do I give her to get it to stop without it coming down to them fighting? From my experience violence makes you temporarily feel good but in the end doesn’t solve anything. So how could I be a positive influence on my child?

As best as I could I put my emotions to the side and planned to pop up on the school counselor and report the bullying. I didn’t want my daughter to change into something she’s not. She’s not me.

She’s not a fighter, although she’s feisty. She is more of a lover and that is what we all love about her. I wanted to teach my daughter to be better than me and avoid fighting if possible. I didn’t want to awaken a beast in her. She is our child so I know it’s definitely in her.

I truly believe all our mommy and daughter dates and open talks allowed her to feel comfortable enough to let me know what was up with her so I could help her. In that moment I knew how tight our bond was.

I realized I had become the mother I wanted to be.

The type of mother where my kids could tell me anything. When I asked her what she wanted to do she said she wanted me to tell the counselor. That let me know she wanted my help and to proceed with my plans.

I went up to that school so fast, in fact, the very next day. Mind you everybody already knows me because their dad and I are involved parents. I was headed straight to the counselor that my daughter said she first reported the bullying to but as soon as the Vice Principal saw me he called me into the office. I knew right away what he wanted to talk about because my daughter told me she told him too. I figured her teacher would alert everyone because they know I don’t play about my kids.

I’m the type of mom that has the board of education on speed dial.

I’ve had two kids attend that school and this is my daughters last year. So they have come to know my attitude. I politely told the VP what was going on because I was two seconds from calling the board of education and reporting him and everyone else that neglected my child after she expressed she was being bullied.

He ensured me that he is working on fixing the problem. What my daughter didn’t know is that the VP himself had been in communication with her mom since the very first incident. He also said that the other child is having a lot of problems at home and at school. The mother was aware of what was going on and not happy with her child.

I was so grateful that he acknowledged my feelings and took the situation as serious as I did because the whole scenario could have went left. I left our chat feeling like we were on the same team. I also realize that no matter how much we’d like to blame the other parent for their child’s bullying sometimes they are just as frustrated. Some kids are just so stubborn and out of control despite their parents efforts to raise them “right”.

Now that everything is out in the open my daughter hasn’t complained about school or that little girl once. Her confidence is back up and she’s my happy child again. If my daughter reports anything else to me my next step will be contacting the other child’s parents but let’s hope it doesn’t go that far. What we aren’t going to do is not talk about it. I feel like not talking about would only just make it worse.

As a parent it’s a tough pill to swallow that bullying happened to my child but it happens all the time. My child wasn’t the first and won’t be the last. I’m just glad we’re recovering from it and moving on. My daughter has since learned a valuable lesson which is that I’ll always have her back, especially during hard times. I’m teaching her to be sweet and tough. It’s hard but she will learn the world is going to knock her down every chance it gets but she won’t be knocked out! Mommy’s making sure she’s well equipped to withstand all of life’s challenges.

I will always fight for my kids to be treated fair and to feel safe.

This experience taught me to calm down and don’t react so quickly. To think of solutions and not try to fight aggression with a aggression. To let my daughter lead the way and tell me how she needs me and just be there for her. Most importantly, it taught me to talk to my child about bullying.

Parents don’t turn a blind eye to bullying. Kids need to be aware that they have support if they are bullied and that there are consequences if they do any bullying to somebody. Make it a point to have a conversation with your child before it’s to late because talking about it can ultimately prevent it.

#mommashark

#amommaslove

#stopbullying

#bullyingawareness

#speakup

#momminainteasy

#putsomerespectonmyparenting

#momproblems

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