To the females that don’t have kids yet. This post is for you. There’s so much to expect when your expecting. There’s so much to learn if your a new mom if you haven’t taken a child development class. People will warn you about all the crying, the sleepless nights and how expensive kids are but in real life the first year is all about survival. You have to be realistic and throw away all your expectations and do what works for your family.
Back in the day, I remember talking to my mom about parenting classes and she laughed at me for considering it. She told me she never took a class and that if I needed to take a class or read a book I didn’t need to be having kids in the first place so I didn’t take any parenting classes. I just waited for my natural instincts to kick in and they did but I wish that I would have gotten more vital information before I had kids. Then maybe I wouldn’t have had to learn so much from trial and error.
If your reading this I hope this gives you better understanding of what exactly motherhood entails.
Before You Have Kids 15 Things You Should Know:
1. The days are long but the years are short. Cherish your child’s childhood because it goes so fast. Enjoy the baby stage because soon they’ll be crawling, walking and talking. Have patience. Let them be kids and make tons of memories for them to cherish.
2. Let your kids make messes sometimes. You have to remember that they are kids. They are still learning and figuring out the world around them. Don’t sweat the small stuff because you’ll spend so much time panicking that you rob yourself of the presence.
3. Lead by example. Don’t be a hypocrite. When you are a do as I say mom it confuses kids. Respect them and they will respect others. Love them and they will love others. Give them choices and they will learn to be responsible. All in all, lead them in the right direction.
4. Read. Read.Read. Reading to your kid puts their brain to work. It has so many benefits from stimulating their imagination to expanding their understanding of the world around them.
4. Raise free thinkers. Sometimes being so strict is the worst thing you can do. Sometimes you need to bend the rules so that kids can learn to negotiate and compromise. They will learn rules and consequences from home and school but you want them to be open minded so they don’t become followers. You want them to be confident and assertive so they aren’t looking to other people for answers because they don’t trust their own decision making.
5. Research! There are so many opinions on everything so learn as much as you can about vaccines, circumcision, schooling, parenting style because somethings you can’t undo. If someone gives you unwanted advice you wont use don’t argue with them. Just smile and say thanks.
6. Don’t be afraid to question traditions, teachers, or doctors. This is your baby and your it’s advocate. Trust your gut even if it goes against majority. Love and protect your baby at ALL costs.
7. Parenting is a learning process. You’ll grow, you’ll change and that’s entirely okay.
8. Work with your baby not against it. No two baby’s are the same even if they both have your DNA. Pay attention to your child’s needs and try working with your baby and not against it. For example, if your child likes sleeping on their stomach let them sleep on their stomach if they sleep longer.
9. Post partum is a real stage. Postpartum and sleep depervation will have you crying and acting irrational but eventually you’ll get past that stage.
10. Enjoy motherhood. It’s wonderful. People don’t say enough positive things about it but it truly is what you make it.
11. Kids get sick a lot whether you keep them secluded or breastfed them. Be prepared to spend a lot of time running to the ER. Also, take all fevers seriously, especially in infants.
11. Children’s oral health is important. Make sure your baby sees a dentist by year one just to get your baby used to being in the chair. In the process you will learn good oral health for yourself and your kids which will help you make better hygiene habits and healthier snack choices.
12. Don’t stay with a man for your kids. If a relationship is unhealthy and toxic staying for your kids 9 times out of 10 you’ll end up damaging your child. No one gets pregnant and wants to be a single mother but it isn’t the worst thing in the world. A single parent home is better than raising your kid in chaos. If you picked a father that isn’t helping with the responsibilities of parenthood use it as ammunition to go harder in life. Don’t every slack or give up. Your kids are watching.
13. Don’t spoil your kids but spoil your baby. Older kids need to understand hard work so I believe in making them work for everything. Kids these days are to entitled. Now baby’s can’t talk so spoil the hell out of them LOL. Give them as much as you can provide within reason. They will soon out grow the infant stage and understand more as they become toddlers. That toddle age is when start enforcing rules, consequences and boundaries until then have fun being at your babies beck and call.
14. Build your child up before the world breaks then down. Once you make the decision to be a mom you have to understand no one will love and understand your kids like you do. Focus on the good in your child and always compliment them. Speak greatness into your child. Never focus on the negative. How you speak to your child ultimately becomes their inner voice.
15. Don’t forget to take time for yourself. As moms we automatically jump into our new role as mother and make our kids our number one priority. We still need me time for us to just be us.
Let’s face it motherhood isn’t easy, but it is a joy. Just remember as long as both you and your child are healthy and safe you are doing good. Nothing will go as planned but that’s okay, you live and you learn. I really want to get across that it’s not as bad as some as these moms make it or even as bad as I over exaggerate sometimes. Not everyday are you going to want to pull your hair out or need a drink whine.
Trust me your kids will melt your heart and be the driving force that pushes you to stand up over and over again when you fail. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent and you will fail sometimes. You’ll get something right and sometimes you’ll get things wrong but keep your head up. We all make mistakes.
I want to get rid of that old school mentality that you’ll figure it out when the baby comes nonsense. It is not always true. In some cases it is but not everyone will automatically have motherly instincts. If your struggling take a class or two. It won’t hurt you. Just find your balance so you can be the best mom you can be. Good luck!