So you know someone who just had a baby or your about to have one yourself. Share this post with all your family and friends so they understand there is something called hospital etiquette and before coming to visit you and baby they should consider a few things. You want to be respected during your postpartum so you can enjoy it.
This information is intended for you to think about what you really want. You’ve created your ideal birth plan and now it’s time to start thinking about after the birth. Do you want visitors at the hospital or not? What rules do you want them to kindly follow.
There’s levels to this ish. It’s crazy that I even have to write about this to let people know how to not overstep their boundaries. I get that friends and family’s get excited when a new little bundle of joy is born but they need to remember that the parents just had a baby and have plans of their own for how they want the next couple days to go. Make sure you clearly establish your preferences ahead of time or you might be doing damage control later.
I personally experienced my own sister posting my baby on social media before I did and was pissed. She posted a picture of my baby with wires on him at that. My son’s first days were spent in NICU and that’s not something I was ready or wanted to share with the world right away. That’s something that I thought would of been common sense not to do. Like a real big no no but she didn’t even see the harm in it. Thus, this post was created on behalf of her and all the overbearing family members who loose all sense of common sense when baby arrives.
I get her side as far as being an aunt all over again and being so proud but at the end of the day people the parents wants trump everything so consider them and respect their wishes. Having a baby is a special time. The transition to motherhood is mentally and physically a lot to take in the first couple day’s as you maneuver your new life. Your new normalcy is to protect your baby at all cost. Meaning no bad vibes and plenty of rest is needed in order to have energy to care for your newborn. So here goes some visiting new born rules or I like to call them “hospital etiquette.”
I’ve talked to all my mom friends and have compiled a list of things we think should be standard hospital etiquette for visitors. I recommend using these tips to help deal with visitors and be able to stick to your no-or yes if that’s what you want. Either way be empower to create your boundaries ahead of time because you don’t owe anyone your new baby.
1. Do not show up unless your invited.
This ones self explanatory. There will be no extension of any olive branches during this period so don’t even try it. You’ve had 10 months to figure out where you stand and if an invitation to the hospital isn’t given don’t show up unannounced.
Tip: If your in-law or your own parent throws off your zen politely be honest and let them know come by another time when your ready to deal with her/him. They may get offended but it’s your baby and during this precious time you don’t want to be emotional, anxious or upset.
2. Stay home if your sick.
Stay yo ass at home! The newborns immune systems is so weak when they are first born. If your coughing, sneezing or just got over a cold just don’t come up to the hospital period. I don’t care how enthusiastic you are about seeing the new baby you gotta sit this one out. Come back when your feeling better.
Tip: Parents don’t take any risks. It’s ok to say no to kids too because they are full of germs.
3. Don’t you dare post picture of the baby or announce the arrival before the parents do.
It really sad but you actually have to tell people this because some people loose all sense of boundaries. They get so excited and forget the expectant parents waited 10 months for the moment to announce the birth of their baby. It’s just plain rude for anyone to do it first. Slow your roll and wait until after the parents have posted. Don’t even congratulate them let them share their joy at their own pace.
4. Do not kiss the baby.
This rule is very important because newborns immune systems aren’t built up yet and they haven’t gotten their vaccines so they are vulnerable to infections and illness. So don’t think the parents are being germaphobes. They are just trying to protect their child from Herpes Simplex Virus commonly known as the kiss of death. When someone who has the virus kisses an infant it can be spread rapidly and be fatal. Don’t get throat punched lol.
5. Ask permission to take anyone’s child’s picture.
Remember everyone is different. Parents should be able to decide if they want you to take their kids photos. They may want to be private because they are sending out special birth announcements later. You just never know so ask.
6. Wash your dam hands before holding baby.
All visitors must wash their hands thoroughly before touching or holding baby.
7. Don’t stay to long.
Mom needs to get her rest. She’s up every hour feeding or having a nurse check her vitals so she’s exhausted. She appreciates your thoughtfulness but just wants to focus on her newborn. Keep your visit to 45 minutes or shorter.
8. If the baby is sleep when you arrive, do not wake them up.
Tip: I recommend if you just gave birth to schedule appointments so your not overwhelmed by visitors. Be honest with your guest and don’t feel bad if the time they are available doesn’t work for you and you have to tell them.
8. No drama *Most important*
Don’t come and be nosy. Don’t come and make comments about the mother’s appearance. Don’t give the hospital room number to anyone.
9. If the baby starts crying while in your arms give the baby back to mom right away.
Crying is definitely cue that baby wants something or needs something only mom can provide so give her the baby back.
10. If mom is breastfeeding please leave the room during feeding.
Let her bond with her baby in peace especially if this is her first child. She might not be comfortable yet doing it front of people so don’t wait for her to say anything to you first. Just assume she would want you to excuse your yourself. She still learning which breastfeeding positions work best for her and baby and she doesn’t need your eyes peering at her. Also, breastfeeding may be painful at first and she needs to relax so give her space.
Hey mommy, you were made for motherhood. Embrace it and make everyone around you respect your motherin’ starting day 1! Your the boss. You just pushed out a baby so handle your hospitals visitors according to your comfort level. Visiting your baby is a privilege and if they are lucky enough to make the cut to be able to visit your baby at the hospital all visitors must abide by your non negotiable rules. Like this post if you agree. More moms need to put there foot down and stop letting people ruin their postpartum experience.