Category: Mom Rants

How To Celebrate A One Year Old’s Birthday?

Many people will tell you that it’s stupid to shell out all this money for a one year olds first birthday party that they won’t even remember and if your like me you won’t listen. Listen, it’s your child and if you want to make a big ordeal about them turning one do it.

Throw the party!

There’s no party like your child’s first birthday party. You can’t get that memory back so pick a venue, pick a date and send out invites right away.

They may not remember the party but turning one is a big deal and think of it like this you’ll be capturing the celebration with pictures for them to look at when they get older and they’ll have some pretty cool throwback Thursday pictures for them to post up in their social media when that time comes.

We all know if you don’t document it it didn’t happen. So snap away on the big day.

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Is this party for your kid or for you and your adult friends? These are legit questions to ask yourself. Do you want to celebrate surviving your first year of parenthood or is the party to show off how happy you are that your child is turning one?

Sounds crazy but truth is most first time parents don’t always have friends with kids they can invite so consider having it at a place where adults can have fun if your guest list consists of mostly adults.

If you decide you want your child’s first birthday party to revolve entirely around them and can’t decide what’s age appropriate for a one year old just think of kid friendly places that can accommodate your child’s nap schedule if you end up choosing a place outside of your home or even a place that’s fun for kids of different ages.

Good party ideas for a first birthday are house parties or any play gym with soft play mats but you don’t have to do anything tradition at all. Epic parties are unconventional and break all the rules. Just be sure to make the day magical.

Decide your budget.

I’ve seen some pretty ridiculous over the top 1st birthday parties and I’ve attended some really simple just cake and ice cream only parties. Both were fine. Everyone’s budget is different my only suggestion is know yours and stick to it. Don’t go broke trying to impress people who wouldn’t lend you a dollar if you really needed it. I’m just saying.

Pick a theme.

Deciding what to do for a one year old can be pretty hard because they are not really big enough to do most things and picking a theme can be overwhelming when there’s so many great creative options out there. If your stuck on picking a theme I highly suggest Pinterest. Pinterest has everything you could imagine. It’s such a great place to start for inspiration.

Pick a place.

Picking a place to throw a party is important because from there you can figure out what you need. Do you need extra tables and chairs, do you want to trim your guest list because you’ll be paying per person, or do you need to buy decorations and what not can be figured out just by knowing where your having it.

Outside vs Inside

When thinking about whether to do an outside or inside party consider if your child’s birthday is around the colder months will the weather ruin your vision. Will your guest want to be outside in the cold? Then in the hotter months consider shading and AC options. No one wants to sweat buckets celebrating at your child’s party.

I personally am leaning more toward venue spaces these days because I can add lots more decor and it’s eliminates the need for a back up plan in case the weather goes south. You just have to figure in time to setup the party and break everything down when booking because they usually charge by the hour to rent.

For me it’s all about ease, convenience and the small details that make a party special but it’s really whatever floats your boat.

If you like lots of decorations like me then choose an inside venue. When throwing parties outside you have more variables working against you like the weather and the public. The wind will have balloons and table clothes flying all over the place.

Another thing to consider about outside parties held at places like the park is the spaces are typically first come first serve. Meaning you have to stake a claim at the space you want early and do you really want that stress if someone is earlier than you and gets the exact spot you want? I suggest if you do go the park route find a park that allows you to reserve a gazebo so you don’t have to worry about to many what if’s.

Then there’s the whole parking situation. Will it be a hassle to park because the place you chose is popular and super busy hosting other birthday parties on the weekend? Driving around in circles looking for parking is a drag and will discourage your guest from coming from the gate if they know a place is known for terrible parking.

A perfect example of this is beach parties. I hate them. Finding parking is exhausting and I’m more likely to pass on your party unless you do like a bonfire at night when there’s low traffic and it’s easier to find parking.

Pick a Time.

You also have places like Chuck E. Cheese to choose from where parties are only allotted a certain amount of time and space. Where as at your house the party don’t stop until you say. It just depends on your preference and what’s important to you.

With little ones you have to consider nap time. There’s nothing worst than a cranky tired baby. I recommend scheduling parties later in the afternoon after their nap and another thing do not do their birthday party the weekend of their 1 year old shots. It will be your biggest regret. Kids never feel good after shots.

Plan ahead.

Planning ahead is always a good thing but the key ingredients to a successful party is good food and beverages, treats, entertainment, party favors and you can’t forget the cake. A lot of bakeries are now offering a free smash cake if you tell them the cake is for a 1st birthday party. I know Walmart does and I took full advantage of it so do your research.

Personalize your party.

I love personalization so I picked a Elmo theme for my sons first birthday because my son has loved Elmo since his dad first put it on his phone one day to get him to calm down but I also understand that as a parent you only have a few years to pick a theme until your kid starts making his own requests so go wild with your creativity while you can.

Decorations

Etsy is heaven sent in customizing your invites, banners, backdrops, water bottles and so much more. You no longer have to be an overachiever mom to throw an amazing party that all your guest will love. I will warn you though that the more DIY decorations you opt out on that outsourcing can get pretty pricey with shipping and delivery costs. So if you can do some of it that’s wonderful but if you can’t don’t beat yourself up about it that’s what Etsy is for.

Decorations ultimately don’t make a party the showering of love for the birthday boy or girl does. In my opinion, one year olds just want to be spoiled with love and toys. Don’t forget the only person who matters on the day of the party is your child.

Have fun.

I love making my kids birthday wishes come true so throwing them birthday parties is my favorite part of mommin’. The more extreme they get the more excitement I get in challenging my creativity.

If throwing parties isn’t your thing get an event planner. If your to lazy and don’t really care that much that’s fine too. It’s your party do you, just make sure you have fun.

No Regrets.

Nobody ever regrets throwing their kids a party but they do regret how much they spend. Whether you throw a big or small party be sure to celebrate your child 1st birthday and have fun so you don’t have mom guilt about it later if you don’t. Plus, you deserve the celebration as well you created, pushed them out and keep them alive a whole year. Pat yourself on the back momma. That’s a huge accomplishment. Festivities are in order.

Don’t forget!

  • Lighter
  • Knife
  • Candle
  • Phone charger
  • Lysol wipe
  • The high chair
  • Music

What advice can you think of that a first time mom might not think of to make her child first birthday go off without a hitch?

#1stbirthdays

#Partytime

#Momguilt

#Milestones

Women Are Some Kind Of Magic: My Birth Story

I’m a huge birthday person. Like a huge birthday person. I love celebrating my birthday every year. In my head my birthday is a national holiday. I dread getting older, but I love celebrating my birthday in some kind of grand way. It’s a Leo thing. Last year, as my birthday was approaching I was getting ready to fuck it up per usual, while being big and of course pregnant. I had my heart set on a glitter theme party and I was going to show up looking like a big, sexy disco ball. It was gonna be a hot glitter mess of a good time.

I decided on a good food spot to eat because what does a pregnant lady absolutely enjoy other than food, nothing. Then, I was going to make all my beautiful friends wear something shiny and sparkly so I could get a cute maternity photo shoot out of the deal.

I had the perfect dress and the perfect heels for the occasion and they are both still sitting in my closet waiting to be put to use because someone couldn’t wait to meet his mommy.

Side note: My daughter’s birthday is in my birthday month as well. Her birthday is 10 days after mine and now Kalvin is my almost birthday twin. His birthday is the very next day after mine. (It’s officially the Leos versus the Virgo in my house now. This is gonna get interesting...)

I think I started feeling Braxton Hicks about a month before I went into actual labor. I normally have a pretty high tolerance for pain but man those hicks are definitely unforgettable. The pain I felt was at first annoying and then unbearable. I’ve never experienced them in previous pregnancies.

I’m also usually not a complainer but those hicks hurt like motherfucker. Just the anticipation of those sharp pains gave me anxiety. They were so painful. They crippled me to the point where sometimes I couldn’t even move. I would have to just stop right in my tracks and let them pass before I could move again.

As they came more frequently I couldn’t wait to get the pregnancy over with. I became impatient. All I kept saying to Kalvin was stay in their until after the baby shower then he could make his arrival.

I had my whole birthing plan planned out too and of course nothing went as planned-go figure. I was fixated on having a vaginal birth. I guess I always felt some type away that I punked out with baby #2.

You see I was suppose to have a VBAC(a vaginal birth after a c-section) with baby #2 but chickened out. I was so vain with my first child and didn’t want a c-section, although I needed it because I didn’t want the huge scar that came with it.

My mom literally had to have a pep talk with me about being vain after the doctors explained to me that I’d need a c-section after 10 hours of labor and despite 10 cm dilated. I didn’t want one but I eventually had to cope with needing to have an emergency c-section.

The cord was wrapped around my baby’s neck and every time I had a contraction his heart rate would lower so having a c-section with my first child was the only way to safely get him here.

So I put my big girl panties on and did what was best for my baby. They gave me another epidural and next thing you know I was whisked off to the operating room. As soon as the drape went up to begin surgery I went completely numb. I was so drugged up and numb. I remember falling asleep in one second and waking up in the next with a baby.

I slept through the entire birth.

Once I healed I thought why would anyone ever go through regular childbirth when you can take the easy way out via the sunroof? In 30 minutes tops I had a baby and my vagina didn’t have to suffer. It was like magic. It was surgery but it was still childbirth. I never thought I’d be ok with it, but I was.

Having a c-section did however make me feel a little envious of moms who would talk about how after they gave birth the doctor would put the baby on their chest right away. For some reason it bothered me that I had been robbed of that precious moment.

When you typically have a c-section your not the first to hold your baby. Normally dad is or whoever is in the operating room with you. They just sort of put the baby up next to you so you can see him or her. To me it wasn’t a special moment like in the movies I’d seen.

I wanted that skin to skin contact. Determined to get that with my second I switched my OBGYN doctor when he refused to let me give birth vaginal. I found during this process that a lot of doctor don’t want you to do it. It can be done but I feel like most doctors try and push you to continue having c-sections if you’ve ever had one.

I got all the way up to my third trimester and changed my mind. I had nightmares that I’d tear from my vagina to my butthole the way my ex co-worker told me hers did. The thought of that happening to me in real life scared the shit out of me and I couldn’t do it so I made my peace that having a vaginal birth just wasn’t for me.

Fast forward 10 years later, third pregnancy, and thinking since this is my for sure last pregnancy let me attempt having a vaginal birth one more time. I had the pleasure of having the most understanding doctor at Kaiser Hospital. I told him my birth plan and he didn’t shut me down. We both mutually agreed we’d let my body determine which way I’d give birth because safety was a top priority.

My due date was September 4, 2018. Can you believe it? My son was suppose to be born on Beyoncé’s birthday. You don’t even understand how exciting that was to me. In fact, if I was having a girl I definitely was going to name her something beginning with the letter K like the rest of my kids and middle name Beyoncé. Duh. Who wouldn’t?! My friends would joke I might even get my child free concert tickets for life if Beyoncé found out I named my child after her But that was just wishful thinking.

While pregnant I watched all these birthing videos on Instagram and felt so empowered. Women are some kind of magic. If you don’t agree I suggest you watch one of them birthing videos because I get chills every time I see one. I watched one particular home birth where this women basically delivered her own baby. She basically snatched it out. It was pretty awesome.

When you think about how women have been barring children for ages and we just started really giving birth in hospitals and having epidurals it really shows our strength. Our ancestors popped out 10 kids in their living room with no pain medicine is crazy for most of my peers in my generation, yet it’s so beautiful that women are capable to do such a thing.

I know us women are naturally built for everything child birth entails but one thing I appreciate most about western medicine is that epidural. It is and will always be a blessing. I would never opt out of it. Sign me up indefinitely. I don’t want to feel anything. Drug me all the way up. After all, no one gets an award for having a baby without it. Bragging rights don’t mean anything to me if I have to suffer to get them. No ma’am I’ll take epidural, hold the morphine because I’m allergic.

I couldn’t sleep for 3 days prior to my delivery. My water bag was still intact, my mucus plug still hadn’t fell out but my contractions were so painful and keeping me up all night. During the day I tried to stay busy and not focus on them. I knew labor was coming but it wasn’t coming fast enough.

On my birthday, I went to work trying to be normal. I was in huge denial that I was ok and would be able to work because I got there and couldn’t move. The contractions were so strong and close together but not close enough to go to the hospital. My co-workers were like go home but I was scared I’d have a bad contraction while driving so I waited until I mustered up enough strength to go home.

That night I began to cry because I was so uncomfortable and in so much pain. I was at my limit. I made my fiancé drive me to the hospital because I thought it was time. They gave me some morphine and it toned down the contractions. Then they sent me home because I wasn’t dilated.

I still was feeling lots of pressure the next afternoon and I didn’t want to go to the hospital because my fiancé left town for business that morning since we both thought it was false alarm. We thought he’d have enough time to go do a turn around trip for work that was already planned and be back the next day. I wasn’t happy about that, but it is what it is.

I eventually broke down and got my mom to take me to the hospital and they kept me this time. They decided to monitor me and After some hours they could see I was having lots of contractions but I wasn’t dilating.

During this time my fiancé was trying to fly back and apart of me was hoping it was another false alarm so he wouldn’t miss the birth of our child but I was in to much pain that I couldn’t focus on that. I had my mom and sister with me and I knew I’d be fine.

They have me on video saying “if this is fake labor, I don’t want to see what real labor is” and that’s when I made the decision to proceed with my c-section. They tease me about how dramatic I am because of that all the time now but I don’t care I feel like that pain was intense and I was not overreacting at all.

The labor pains alone are why I never want to get pregnant ever again. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my enemy. I thought the more pregnancies you had the easier it got, but for me that just wasn’t the case. This by far, was my worst labor ever.

The meds weren’t working. The morphine broke my skin out and I felt contractions all the way up until I laid on the operating table. Then, to top it of my sweetheart wasn’t there to support me during the whole ordeal.

I was actually coherent through the whole c-section. I kept asking them, “Are you sure I’m numb?” I just wasn’t convinced. I was suppose to be sleep like the last two births. I couldn’t believe that I could see everything and hear everything.

Everything was taking much longer than I remembered in the past. Every minute felt like an hour. I could see the drape moving back and forth. I could feel the struggle in the atmosphere. I was freaking out. I was ready to see my little angel.

Then, as soon as my son was born everyone started moving really fast and no one was saying anything to me. I didn’t even hear my child scream until a couple minutes after birth. I panicked more.

Immediately after labor usually all your worrying and stress is gone and your in a state of euphoria but that wasn’t my case. I was freaking out. I needed all the details and I hadn’t even seen my baby. The doctors and nurses were moving like molasses. My sister did her best to advocate for me but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I felt frustrated, scared and I felt alone. I had just given birth and was pissed off at the fact that I couldn’t move and demand answers because I was numb from the waist down.

It felt like an eternity until they were able to share information with me about my newborn baby and I still hadn’t seen him. I was told he was rushed to the NICU because he had low blood sugar, was really pale and born premature. I was overcome with all different emotions as I processed this information yet my heart was full of so much love.

My tiny little human had just arrived and I already loved him just as much as I did his brother and sister. I just wanted to see him but I had to be monitored, again. Luckily, my sister sent me plenty of pictures and videos from the NICU. He was so handsome. He was PERFECT.

I didn’t get to physically see him until the next morning because after I delivered all the meds wiped me out. When I finally saw him and held him in my arms all my emotions gushed out. He was even cuter in person. He was mines. All mines and I couldn’t wait to teach him and show him everything.

Having children is my calling. Some women like myself are just meant to be moms. I know this about me without a doubt. That this is my purpose. I truly love it. All of it. I even crush on other moms I see out here killing it.

This mom shit is a tough ass 24/7 job but I wouldn’t be me with out my kids. I truly feel they are the best part of me. Since becoming a mom I feel more beautiful, more powerful, more motivated and more fearless. They bring out a kind of love my selfish ass never knew I was capable of giving.Despite the fact that my labor sucked the end reward of getting my beautiful child was worth it but like I said this one is the last kid I’m having (my third times a charm baby).

I feel like my family is now complete. The baby making shop is closed. Baby Kalvin will be one in 23 days. It’s crazy how fast time has flown. The days feel long but his childhood will go just as fast as the others did so I’m trying to just cherish each and everyday.

11 months down and a lifetime to go.

I was not prepared for starting over but the joy this little boy gives me is one of a kind. I love him to pieces.

His smile after an all nighter is so cute I can’t even stay mad. His laugh warms my soul. He’s super smart and already walking. Not to mention EVERYONE loves my happy baby. He captures everyones heart. He came at just the perfect time in our family. We all love him so much.

Salute to all the moms that are out here handling their business and taking care of their kids, at the same dam time. It takes a strong women to carry, give birth and raise a child. You are under valued but you are enough. Even when we fall short we are enough.

#proudparent #momof3 #Momsruletheworld #bossmommy #csection #sunroofbabies

What Being A Mom Means To Me

To all the beautiful mommy’s Happy Mother’s Day! All babies are a blessing and because of them you get to be celebrated today.

You’ll receive tons of calls and text messages, cards, flowers and even gifts that will warm your heart today. Your loved ones will even go the extra mile to let you know you are appreciated everyday but especially on this day.

I want to take the time to extend my gratitude for not only my mom but for all the moms around the world. Mothers have the hardest job in the world but never clock in, and never get paid. The only reward that we receive is that we get little human best friends to walk beside us for the rest of our journey in life.

God really handpicked the best mom for me.

Now that I’m older I reflect back on my own childhood and I’m amazed how my mother got through motherhood alone as a single parent. She did a good dam job. I know you will read this mom (because you are my biggest cheerleader and are always rooting for me) so I just want to say I LOVE YOU from the bottom of my heart.

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Happy Momma, Happy Life!

I’m the outgoing cool mom that went to Coachella while I was 5 months pregnant just to see Beyoncé. Then when my son was 3 months old I left him with his dad so I could go to On The Run II. I have no shame in my game I love me some Beyoncé and if you can’t tell I am not one to sit in the house either. Pregnant or not I love a good turn up and when I turn up I’m turning all the way up.

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Mommin’ Aint Easy

My life is cray cray. I don’t know what the hell was I thinking but just when things were starting to make sense I decided to have another baby. My youngest was 10 years old and I was literally 8 years away from freedom and I decided that I wasn’t fulfilled enough and started all over again or at least that’s my version  of the story,  and I’m sticking to it (because in actuality my third pregnancy was not planned).

My other two kids are so independent and mature, and to go from raising your kids up to where you barely have to parent them at all to having a little human being who needs you 24/7 is a serious adjustment. I’d be lying if I said it was the best decision of my life and it didn’t complicate things. The real is, shit just got real but I have no regrets. They say God doesn’t make any mistakes and I feel truly blessed now but my growing little family is by no means easy to balance. I may make being a mom of three look easy but trust me when I tell you mommin’ ain’t easy.

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