Category: Motivation Page 1 of 5

Bosses Who Brunch

Me and YouTuber @adoseofkryssy. Go like, comment and subscribe to her channel.

Last Sunday, I had the pleasure of attending a wonderful networking event called Bosses Who Brunch. I was able to catch part 2 Plot.Plan. Execute. of this 3 part series. At the event I got to meet some really cool women who are entrepreneurs like myself trying to turn their dreams into reality. I bought my ticket for $25 last minute (2 days before the event) and I’m so glad I just spontaneously made the move to act on it because the energy at the Bosses Who Brunch event hosted by Mariah Darsha was a breath of fresh of air. I was definitely inspired to keep pushing and stick with my online business even amid Covid.

Such a freakin vibe!

The ambiance of Bosses Who Brunch was set by Skova. They created a ultra hip picnic vibe with their beautiful travel blankets and tapestry. Our delicious lunch was catered by The Fast Food Company owned by a black female chef named Chef K and drinks were provided by Suja and Babe Kamboucha. We snacked on delicious treats from The Butter Cream Parlor as we shared real life experiences and how to move forward in our business in case social media ever shuts down. I learned how crucial it is to have a subscription email and use other platforms to market on as well have a support group to be able to share ideas, share knowledge and even share your struggles.

My yummy salad from The Fast Food Company.

As entrepreneurs no one understands our daily struggles like other entrepreneurs and to have a space where we can come together and collaborate with no hate is awesome. Queens uplifting queens is what I stand for so these type of events are right up my alley. To have the opportunity to make my business more visible while also putting myself out there for more business opportunities is something that I’m focused on this upcoming year. I’m praying for abundance in this next season.

My goal is for my brand to have more omnipresence. Omnipresence basically means to be well known. I want my brand Moody Babe Lashes to be everywhere. I am manifesting it to be the first brand that pops up in your head when you think lashes. In order to have omnipresence and grow my business I’ve committed to doing more networking events and pop up events so that people know I exist.

It’s one thing to have an idea and another thing to make it come to life. My vision is to see my company become popular and prosperous. In order for that to happen I’m in the trenches doing the leg work. Planting the seeds for my future success. This grind is personal and it’s all hustle and no luck. No loans! No handouts! Just focused on my family and success. I’m manifesting that in 3-5 years Moody Babe Lashes will have a write up in Vogue, will have 1 million followers, and be in some of your favorite major stores.

These worksheets were very helpful in helping me focus in on what I want and where I see my business going. This had me exploring where I am and where I am going.

The one thing I took from this brunch is that women can collectively come together and root for each other whether we’re in the same business or not. We can share information and get inspired to do the exact same thing but because we’re all different all our sauces will taste different but different is what makes us each unique. Different is a good thing because it sets us apart.

I love creating these types of events as well as attending them. If you are currently in business you know that networking is essential. After all, linking up with likeminded people is always a good idea. For those interested the next one, part 3 The Over Coming is Oct. 11, 2020 hurry up before they sell out because spaces are limited. Get rid of any self imposed barriers you have and start networking strategically. This will help you business grow and create avenues for new business opportunities.

How To File Your LLC In California By Yourself

So you’ve found your niche and your ready to take your brand or service to the next level. Your ready to start a legitimate business. You’ve done your research and LLC is the way you want to go to protect your business. A limited liability company makes your business a company. It also limits an owner’s personal liability for business debts and lawsuits and offers flexibility when it comes to ownership, management and taxation of the business.

Before filing my LLC in California I had to decide if I wanted my business to be public or private because in California your business is public record, meaning anyone can find out who owns your business. Since I’m very proud of my business that wasn’t a big issue for me but if your looking to be anonymous stay away from a LLC in California.

How Do I Form an LLC in California?

You have two options use legal zoom a one stop shop or if your brave enough file yourself. Legal zoom takes the guess work out of everything while filing yourself is easy and doable if your know the steps and are prepared to pay the minimum $800 LLC tax. $800 sounds like a lot but you don’t have to pay it right away when filling your LLC. You have until the 15th day of the 4th month after the day you file with the Secretary of State to pay so that means once you finish your LLC it’s go time. Time to get your hustle on to make that money back.

If money is an issue and your just getting off the ground with your business the good news for all my future entrepreneurs is that Gov. Gavin Newsome just passed a bill that states anyone who files an LLC from 2021-2023 the $800 fee is be waived. So I recommend just waiting a few months and further developing your business plan until 2021. This time right now couldn’t be more perfect to level up. I wish I had the opportunity to have my first years fees waived so take advantage of this opportunity because I hear California is the most expensive state to start a business in.

First Step: Name your LLC

Figure our what name you want to operate your business under. You use Business Search to check that your name isn’t already in use. Then, check google to make sure the url is available. You may not be ready for a website just yet but if you feel like eventually that you’ll require one secure your domain name at the same time while filing your LLC so that way it’s yours for future use. Most people don’t know this even I was green to this but people buy up random domain names in hopes they can up charge anyone who is looking to buy it. They literally just sit on it and don’t use it. They just want to make a profit of your need or want for that specific domain name.

Second Step: Choose a Registered Agent

You or any one you know can be your Registered Agent or you can hire a company to act as one. All a registered agent does is make sure that you receive all your legal documents in case a lawsuit is ever brought against you. This is why it should be someone you trust will give you your important documents in a timely manner. I used my mom for mine and my husband has me as his for his business.

Third Step: Register your LLC with the Secretary of State.

You will need to pay two filing fees to form an LLC in California. A $70 fee to file Articles of Organization with The California Secretary of State’s office. It typically takes 3-5 business days for the state to approve your California LLC.

Fourth Step:

Pay the second fee of $20 to file a statement of information, Form LLC-12. You have to file this within 90 days of forming your LLC.

Fifth Step: Create an Operating Agreement.

There are a bunch of free operating agreement templates online. An operating agreement basically outlines your business and how it will operate. Once you’ve made one follow the agreement.

Sixth Step: Apply for your EIN.

An EIN is a Employer Identification Number also known as a Tax Id used by the IRS to identify businesses and individuals for tax purposes. You can request this for FREE from the IRS. You need an EIN to open up a business bank account, for federal and state tax purposes and to hire employees.

Seventh Step: Open up a bank account for your business.

A business bank account will separate your personal assets from your company’s and make filing your taxes easier.

Eighth Step: Register with the Franchise Tax Board.

Starting a business has many challenges hopefully from ready this post starting a LLC is no longer one of them. The whole process can be intimidating but once you’ve got your LLC you are officially a women owned business. Now you need to start acting like one and signing all important documents on behalf of your LLC.

As a reminder make sure that you stay on top of your taxes because they will charge you a penalty for non payment and late payment. You could even lose your company, it’s name and identity to someone else when it gets suspended by the Franchise Tax Board. The fees associated with the LLC are ongoing and need to be paid every 1 or two years to keep your LLC compliant and in good standing. You’ve worked to hard to build your company you must be protected! Make getting your LLC a priority.

Upgrade your thinking and manifest how large your company will be and how these startup cost will will be peanuts compared to the amount of money you’re about to touch. Stay positive, stay focused and stay consistent your business will flourish. You just need to believe in yourself. The difference between the unsuccessful and the successful is successful people take chances and try even if that means they fail. Don’t be afraid of failure. Eventually you’ll find your rhythm and when you do it’s nothing but up from there.

Sis, stop sleeping on yourself!

My “Rachlorette”

Since I like to do ratchet shit with classy people the title rachlorette fits my personality. If you know me you already know. I hardly get out but when I do I cut up! That’s a fact. My motto is work hard, play even harder. So Las Vegas was the ideal backdrop for my rachlorette so I could let loose one more time (because it definitely won’t be the last) before I walk down that aisle. Plus, unlike San Diego it’s more open and they don’t have a 10 pm curfew.

Here’s how it started:

Hopped off the plane and my girl Ashley greeted me with this hilarious sign. It was so funny. I’m not sure my fiancé would think it was to funny though. Lol. Like they say what happen in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas shhhhhhh.

I threw my luggage in the trunk and knew the weekend was about to be lit. I was thrilled to touchdown but hungry so we stopped at Tacotarian, a popular vegan restaurant. Everything was delicious. If you’re ever in the area I highly recommend. My tacos were light yet satisfying and the guacamole was so good. Although, they don’t use any meat the authentic Mexican flavors are still there. It doesn’t feel like you’re not eating meat at all because it’s fillings are hearty and fulfilling.

After that we got in the Benz and made our way to the liquor store. It was officially time to turn up. We bought lots of liquor and champagne to stay hydrated the whole weekend *wink*. My friend even splurged on a bottle of Dom Perignon so we could live our best boujee life. Ashley made sure everything was top of the line for your girl because she stressed the entire time which I’m so glad she did that you only have this experience once. I can say I will never forget this weekend because of mostly her.

The whole weekend was loosely planned and perfect. I did a lot of firsts with my bridesmaids that weekend. I got to stay in a suite at the Cosmopolitan facing the Bellagio and every night I could watch the water show from my balcony. It was so dope. My friend who booked the room was disappointed by the size but it had great space for just us and the view of the strip was breathtaking. I could only hope that every time I stayed in Las Vegas I’d get a room this close to the strip with an amazing view.

The trip was a spare of the moment trip so unfortunately not all my bridal party could make it but I still had fun. On the first night they had @krissyonthebeat come to our room and do my makeup. Krissy is one of the best MUA’s in Las Vegas. She has even done makeup for Cardi B. She had your girl looking so dam fine. I’ll let her beat my face anytime. She is very talented and super sweet to work with.

I later was surprised with a dinner at the award winning, Top of the World, located in the Stratoshere. I’ve been dying to try that restaurant for years. I’ve made reservations several times and had to cancel them every time and because my friends knew this they decided to finally make Las Vegas bucket list dream come true. I love them for that.

Top of the World is a contemporary restaurant in the 106 floor that rotates and gives an eating experience like no other with its 360 degree view. As you eat and drink you can see the entire strip and all the captivating lights from 800 feet up. It moves slowly and takes about an hour for to it make a complete circle. The food was only aight but the view and ambiance was spectacular. Perfect for such a special occasion.

The next day we went to the pool at the Cosmopolitan and crashed a birthday party. We met some guys from Philadelphia and kicked it with them in their cabana. We ate and drank until we couldn’t handle it. Then we some how managed to make it to dinner and then to the Chandelier Club. We pretty much just winged it and had a great time.

The only party foul is that some girl tried to convert me to the other side. I’m not sure if it was because I had rainbow slides on in the casino but she was persistent although I kept telling her I’m straight. She was not playing about me. She was on me to tough and it was annoying. Luckily, the night turned around and we ended the night with drunk karaoke with some friends we met.

We woke up got drunk and went to breakfast. At breakfast while trying to check in my flight my dumb ass realized I booked my return flight for a different day. My mind had been so overloaded with wedding planning I booked my return flight for Oct. 25, my wedding day, who dies that? Thank God my sisters were driving back to Los Angeles so I was able to hitch a ride with them. Then, I booked a rental at LAX and drove 2 hours to San Diego. I definitely fucked up majorly but I didn’t have time to dwell on it.

I survived. I had fun. I almost got stranded but figured that shit out. All in all, Covid did not spoil my bachelorette weekend. I still had a wonderful time with my beautiful friends who put a lot of effort in ensuring I had a great weekend. We turned up, looked great and enjoyed lots of fine dining.

#Tasiarachlorette

#Lasvegas

#Idocrew

#Girlstrip

I’ll Be Back Shortly

Getting married is full of festivities and let me tell you I’ve been heavily indulging in all of it. From having a wild bachelorette party in Las Vegas that I jokingly named my “rachelorette”, to an intimate Bride and Bougie Bridal Shower in my mom’s backyard. I seriously can’t thank my amazing friends for sparing no expense and making sure these moments were absolutely perfect. My I Do Squad definitely out did themselves and I am forever grateful to have them by my side during this stressful but fun time. I look forward to married life and more milestones with the most incredible friends.

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This year really opened my eyes to the type of friends I have. I realize that my friends are my framily and I’m such a lucky gal to have real genuine friendships. Friendship that I know aren’t fake or phony but reciprocated with love and appreciation. I’m super happy in love and in life. I don’t think I could have picked a better bridal party. My ladies are rock solid and absolutely the best. I can not complain about a single thing. They’ve made this wedding experience even memorable.

I think they are just as excited as me for me to be getting married which makes me feel good about turning this next chapter in my life. Knowing that I have supportive friends in my corner means the world to me and my fiancé. Some I’ve know decades and others I know for a few year but are just so close to me you’d never know that this was the beginning of our friendship. Either way I’ve learned loyalty is the most determining factor for friendship no matter what length of time you’ve known someone. Loyalty means everything to me and if your loyal I’m loyal back.

I know that you all have noticed I haven’t posted in a while and it’s because I’ve been trying to be present and just soak in this time. I plan to get married one time and one time only and with that said, I’m just taking in everything and how special this time really is. It’s monumental. I’ll soon be embarking into married life territory and all that it has to offer. Surprisingly, I’m not even scared or nervous I’m a 1000% sure that I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be in life. I’m living in my over flow and walking in my purpose. I have zero doubts about becoming Mrs. Martin.

While I enjoy these last few days of being a single women I won’t be posting as much still but when I return from my honeymoon in Cancun I promise I will fill you in on everything. A lot has changed since my last post but Boss Mommy Blog is still my very much a passion of mines. I love empowering my Boss Mommy tribe and reassuring ya’ll that you can do whatever it is you want with your life. Mom isn’t the only title you can hold. It may be the most highest title you can have but you can wear several crowns and be the queen of anything your heart desires.

When I come back I will be over sharing everything.

#BRB

#Misstomrs

#Stillmartindowntheaisle

Just A Mom Conquering The World

Moody Babe Lashes is up and running! Girl, stop playing and cop you a pair, or two or three. Life is short, but your lashes don’t have to be.

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Starting a business during a pandemic seems crazy but why not?! I had all this free time and something that I was passionate about to focus on. It just made sense. It’s like the universe aligned and once my wheels started turning with my business idea, everything began falling into place. Even the few roadblocks I faced couldn’t stop me. Yeah, I encountered my first business mistake and it was truly upsetting but I persisted on.

I had to prioritize my time, step away from my blog for a while and put in the work between distance learning and putting food on the table. Was it rough? Yes. Was it worth it? Hell yes.

It was not easy juggling all that I take pride in doing but to see your vision come to fruition will put you over the moon. It’s a feeling like no other. Follow me on my journey to conquering the world. The obstacles I overcame to get here brings me so much joy and happiness. I deserve all of it too. I busted my butt to make my dreams come true.

The amount of support I have received thus far has been so encouraging. I’m glad I didn’t give up my first bump in the road. Those mistakes just made me wiser and more sharp. I absolutely love doing anything related to Moody Babe Lashes from designing my website (fun, but very stressful) to marketing and branding my business. I’m thoroughly committed to growing my baby and seeing how big I can grow her. My passion keeps me focused.

My first business mistake.

I knew I wanted to make Moody Babe a brand. I loved the name. I choose it because I felt it represented me. I am definately moody, especially when I don’t get my way. I am a Leo. It’s one of our traits but I also felt many girls can relate because depending on our mood depends on how we choose to go out in the world that day. Whether it’s glammed up or casually dressed in a white tee from Target Moody Babe Lashes would be your favorite accessory that you would want to leave him without.

I also felt like it correlated so much with my lashline since I was going to offer different varieties of styles for all our moods. I looked up domains and no had taken Moody Babe. Looking back I should have bought it then but I didn’t know at the time which website platform I wanted. I was torn between Wix and Shopify and until I could commit to one I didn’t want to buy and spend extra money to convert anything. Being cheap in the end cost me more money.

My old business cards.

I was buying business cards and moving with every intent to buy that domain name. I actually was using it in my bio and on my business content because every week I would check to see if it was still available and it was so I felt like I still had time. Boy was I crushed when I finally picked Shopify over Wix and it was taken. I felt like someone stole my idea and I instantly regretted not just purchasing it right away because now I had a 100 business cards already paid for with a website that was not mine. My logo was complete and I loved it but now I would have to change that too. It was awful.

Pinterest taught me how to take product photos in my living room. : )

This whole ordeal could have been prevented if I followed the sequence to starting a legit business. Although, aggravating I sucked it up and changed my business name from Moody Babe to Moody Babe Lashes the same name as my Instagram handle which I think is better so there’s less confusion finding my store. Whoever did buy the domain still doesn’t have their website up and running. I’m curious to see what they do with the branding of Moody Babe but what I learned out of all this is never skip steps and act fast on your ideas. It’s even motivated me to get LLC right away which a lot of small businesses don’t do until they start making money but I wanted to protect my idea and make sure nobody did it before me. I just needed to secure my name before I lost it again.

Moody Babe Lashes

I set my launch date for July 3, 2020. I stuck to the plan and followed through. That day my website went live and I made my first 3 sales online. I’ve been never been so happy. To finally see my vision executed after procrastinating for so long was amazing. I definitely am where I belong. I got the entrepreneurial bug now and I’m excited about the future of my business. I know I still have a lot of work to do but I remind myself daily that if I don’t just go for it as soon as I think about it and wait until I think I’m ready I’ll be always behind. I changed my thinking and ultimately it’s changing my life. The extra money I make will help improve the quality of life for my family, will help me do more in my community and allow me to teach my kids about generational wealth.

The evolution of dreams.

I want my kids to be set up for life. That has always been a dream of mine. I’ve decided to get get more aggressive on going after the things I want in life. I don’t care how much I put on my plate at this point. I’ll still be blogging, getting Moody Babe Lashes where it needs to be and being a phenomenal mom. I got goals I want to reach and nothing is going to stop me. I’m dedicating this next half of the year to truly believing in myself. Stay tuned.

With the current unknown circumstances how do you find motivation to still pursue your goals?

#MotherhoodandBusiness

#Bossmommyblog

#MoodyBabeLashes

#Staytuned

Racism. The Very Uncomfortable Conversation.

The current events are exhausting. We are living through a pandemic and a historical revolution. The fight for change is long over due. If you know your Black history you know that for over 600 years Black people have been oppressed. There has been no equality and every time we try to sustain our own wealth on our own there are massacres like Rosewood and Tulsa’s Black Wall Street street to knock us back down to square one.

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Watch the videos and then imagine if we sought revenge.

In the midst of this chaos came #blackouttuesday and #amplifiedmelaninvoices where we as a united front protested online by only posting Black history, Black businesses and solutions to racism instead of the daily nonsense we post like food and selfies. We muted the background noise of everyday life and flooded timelines with the real issues. We found ally’s in our Black Lives Matter movement, we found silent racists, we gained knowledge of our hidden history and uplifted our voice to the degree that our traumatic experiences as a Black person in America taught non whites systematic racism. The uncomfortable conversation about racism has officially begun.

I saw a post this week of a picture of a white man holding a sign during a protest that said I’m sorry I didn’t see it before but I see it now. Deep. I’m so mad I didn’t think to screenshot it. I felt like this time was the perfect storm and what happens after a storm? A beautiful rainbow. So although, 2020 seems like some bullshit. For the very first time I feel like the gap between whites and blacks could possibly close one day, with the first step being acknowledgment.

No more being willfully naive.

If you read my last post Just A Friendly Reminder. Stop Killing Unarmed Black People I talked about how traumatic it is to be Black in America due to us being the most hated race. How we groom our kids to be on their p’s and q’s to not trigger BBQ Becky, or a racist police. We take their innocence away to prepare them for the sad truth that they will be treated differently all because of the color of their skin.

As a black women I used ALL my platforms to make this moment a teaching moment while they were muted and listening. They were learning so much because no one is taught black history is schools. Many whites lack understanding of how their ancestors oppressed Black people because America has select memory. They purposely only teach what they want you to know. They don’t want you to be aware that America has a not so pretty past and for their skeletons to come out the closet. Anything that has to do with it being in a negative light is skipped over because we’re suppose to be the land of the free. The irony.

I paid attention to all the businesses that I spend money with to see if they would speak in a time when it’s not the time to be silent. At this point as blacks we are demanding that that you love us as much as you love our culture. It’s cancel season on anyone who doesn’t hire or support my beautiful melanin kings and queens. We seek consequences for our fallen angels murders, we seek better leadership and new bills to be pass that don’t tear us down. There are peaceful protests, there are silent protest. Everyone is coming together to make the world a better place for everyone because once Blacks get equality it literally trickles down to every other ethnicity that comes from a foreign land.

The tremendous support our community is receiving is greatly appreciated and it’s became clear economically they see if we band together and shift our money these big companies can potentially lose millions. We have always had great buying power and we are understanding that our money unlike racism will always determine the level of our relationships with many. Since money talks and bullshit walks it’s hard to turn a blind eye to how important Blacks are and how much spending power we actually possess as consumers.

Going forward we are redirecting our money to Black businesses. This is a wonderful game changer. Now we realize we need to help out our own producers. We are not ok with just affirmative action. We deserve a shot to be at every table, if we bring something to the table. We won’t stop until everyone has a fair shot at the American Dream. So we are holding these companies accountable. They been doing the bare minimum and enough is enough. Today they are forced to pick aside to end racism. Our oppressors will be punished by us spending our money else where. This will teach them to not love money more than they love our lives.

The fact that these company’s now want to express solidarity seems a little fishy. Are the really really down with us or just trying to stay in trend and make sure our dollars stay pouring in. Seems a little to late (200 years and a few weeks to late). I’m more of a show and prove kinda girl. I need to see action. The only thing I do like about it is all the racists get to choke on the BLM movement right now. I know they pissed when all we’re doing is just trying to matter.

Letters of solidarity are everywhere now.

We can not say all lives matter until Black lives matter. I also want to make it very clear that because I or anyone else loves the way God made them doesn’t mean that I’m a racist hypocrite. I only threw that out there because I don’t want anyone testing me on this post. I can love myself and love my brothers and sisters in Christ at the same dam time. Oh, and for the “all inclusive types” this is for us and only us this time. White people have had their own space for a very long time, chill.

And stop bringing up Black on Black crime because that doesn’t happen because of racism. In every race there is more crime committed against each other because that’s who you are around majority of the time. The fact is crime is committed by every race. Every time I hear Black on by crime being brought up my skin boils because police brutality and systematic racism is the issue. We know Black on Black crime exists and can agree that it’s not right but stop justifying injustices against Black people due to a problem that’s in everyone’s race. That’s not an excuse to make it ok. It’s not ok when we do it to each other let alone to anyone else, but especially not when it’s by the people that are appointed to protect and serve the community at large but fall short for one specific demographic.

Racism is not getting worst, it’s getting filmed.” – Will Smith

America was built on the backs of Blacks and systematic oppression. All of that stops with this generation. Black Americans are arrested 2xs more often than white Americans because of racial profiling. Then when we are arrested we are more likely to be murdered. This is nothing new to us. We as Black people never forget how under valued we are and have always been troubled by this. We’ve been asking why since we could remember. It’s only a conversation now because there’s nothing else to distract white people from seeing it. Where as before it wasn’t filmed.

They can not turn a blind eye anymore. It’s not something we made up in our mind. It’s something we experience on a daily they don’t want to imagine what their life would be on the side nor do I blame them. They are deciding not to be quiet anymore and our standing with us and fighting for change. They took this time to be educated on white privilege and choosing to not be naive, mindless sheep. They are educating their children now and we are not alone anymore. They realize racism is wrong and want to make America great for the very first time ever.

George Floyd’s murder was merely the straw the broke the camel back. Him and many others like him were not just casualties in war but the catalyst to change. May they all rest in power because they didn’t die in vain. Our voices have become powerful. We know what and who we are, and will be dammed to continue on they way life has been for centuries. We are writing our history to give the young kings and queens a better future because they deserve an even playing ground. We now have the hope Obama was talking about years ago and one day we will make Martin Luther Kings Jr’s dream a reality.

#Moreequality

#Moreacceptance

#Morelove

#Endracism

Just A Friendly Reminder Stop Killing Unarmed Black People

Why I can’t breathe.

I’m still waiting for America to be great. It seems like every time we take one step forward we take 3 steps back. Being Black in America is sad and exhausting. I can’t even breathe. We are the only race that will support every other race but we are never protected. All our civil liberties come with conditions. We have to think twice about walking at night with a hoodie on and even taking a normal jog in our neighborhood can be a risk. In 2020, being black af is still a crime. We are still walking targets.

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I’m a mother of 2 black boys who will grow up to be two Black men. It’s sad that I have to even insert that because I feel like I shouldn’t have to state the obvious. Yet I do because I know the difference and they will soon know too. Truth is being a Black man is traumatizing and I have to prepare them for that. How many white moms can say they have to prepare their kids for possible police brutality, modern day lynching, and senseless gun violence? I’ll wait.

Each culture has it’s own set of trauma that nobody truly understand but them. I get it but what I don’t get is when other races see injustices and they remain silent. They become part of the problem. At the end of the day right is right and wrong is wrong. I can’t just sit there and let people treat other human beings wrong. I have to much empathy in me to turn a blind eye, to not speak out or reach out. My first reaction is to help. I’ll never understand how some merely watch and record.

I find myself wondering why the hell Black people are expected to be the bigger person each and every time there is a conflict? I don’t always want to. I’m demanding my respect from now on because I deserve it in the same way other races can. Black people have feelings too. We want to express ourselves. We want to barbecue at the park. Sell water to the thirsty. Not have our house raided when we have done absolutely nothing. We would love to be prosecuted by the dew process of the law and not corrupt cops or over eager vigilantes. Or better yet when we say we can’t breathe be believed. I mean dam why is that to much to ask for. Black lives need to matter.

How is it that when a Black person is murdered wrongfully and all evidence points to foul play the verdict 9 times out of 10 is not guilty? Then you get people like Mike Vick who got more time than all the police officers who have killed 493 unarmed Black men for killing a dog. I need some one to make that make sense because I can’t. How is a dogs life more precious than the Black man? That’s how undervalued they are and I’m sick of it.

I’m sick of hearing disgusting stories of people robbed of their loved ones way to soon. I’m tired of it hitting home. I’m over being expected to get over it because I’m not. As of today we are all tired of being oppressed. We are not taking injustice anymore. We our fighting for a change. Violence or not I’m here for it since they killing us anyways.

If only all the Karen’s of the world would stay out of people’s business and move along with their day without being assholes. I just recently experienced a white male following me to my house to question me about my toddlers trash. The nerve of this man to see me in distress carrying two hands full of groceries and trying to keep my eye on my toddler from running in the parking lots full of cars. As I’m struggling with all my bags because I didn’t want to make two trips he approaches me and asked me if I was going to pick up my child’s trash instead of being concerned for my 1 year who could of got hit by a car.

I will never understand why he felt the need to harass me and proceed to tell me I was ghetto because I said no. I didn’t feel like that trash was important at that time. My Black child’s safety was my top priority but he could give two shits though. He’d rather be arrogant and ignorant. He didn’t try to empathize with me. He didn’t attempt to help me. Instead, he startled me and decided to go off on me and rattle on about my life because I didn’t care about what he cared about at that exact moment.

He doesn’t know my life. I never been raised in the ghetto ever. He just made an assumption to fit his narrative and I think it’s fucked up that he felt he could talk to me in that manner because I’m a Black women and I was alone. Mind you it was me and my two youngest kids. I raised my voice and said good day sir, God bless you but what if I would have met him with aggression? He for sure would have played the victim even though he came over to me. Meanwhile, if my son dropping his soda as his 11 year old sister picked him up to protect him from harms way bothered him so bad he could have picked up the cup his dam self. He saw me with my hands full carrying tons of groceries but he didn’t think twice about confronting me. Black people encounter these types all the the time. It’s so exhausting.

The worst part about the situation is he didn’t see nothing wrong in any of his actions. He was so fixated on being right that he didn’t care that he scared me and my children, violated my space and disrespected me for no reason. He was on a power trip. He obviously felt like I was beneath him and he tried to make me feel less than but what he didn’t expect was my courage. I stood up to him. He’s a human being like I’m a human being. He’s no better or no different and I’m not going to be afraid to put anyone in their place ever. They gone learn today, the day after, and the day after that.

I’m very proud to be Black. I love all my blackness and my dope Black ancestors that came before me. I don’t need Becky to see that my hair is beautiful in it’s natural state. I never needed validation. I was taught by a beautiful Black queen to love myself. I’m training up my sons to carry themselves as kings and my daughter to be a queen in training. I teach them to be kind and tell them everyday they are special. I just want all the peace in the world and I pray that all the warriors on the front line in the battle for equality fight on. I’m making phone calls daily and posting on all my platforms so I can make a difference.

Colin Kapernick lost his whole career for peacefully protesting. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered for his peaceful activism. It feels like our sins have greater consequences. No sin is different, we all sin and long as you repent to God you shall be forgiven. I’m tired of my people suffering at the hand of our oppressors that manipulate the laws as they see fit. I want justice, equality and peace. I want to be able to live this America dream I hear about so much. In present day there is still White America. They get to be heard. Blacks have a voice but we are rarely taken serious I hate to say it but it seems like we have to be loud with our protest and riot or loot in reaction to the fact that unarmed Blacks keep getting killed to get our pain acknowledged.

“Riot is the language of the unheard.”-Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr.

It makes me infuriated that white people don’t understand that systematically they have white privilege and because of it they don’t have the same type of fears I face as a Black mom when I send my children out into this racist world. We come along way but we still have lots of work to do because the world still isn’t fair for Black people. This whole country can burn down for all I care if I have to continue to be free-ish.

I’m tired of my children, my beautiful Black babies being labeled and prejudged. I hate that the images of my Black brothers and sisters always is a negative narrative. I feel as if no matter how much good we do we are the most hated community. The media only shines light on the bad. When the shit hits the fan here comes the media. We’ve been angry but now that people are protesting and looting now they wanna focus on that instead they need to understand why we got to where we are. America is America because we built it for free. Let that sink in. At this point it’s time for the rest of the world to fight and mourn with us if they want it to stop.

I refuse to accept this treatment. I am not numb to senseless killings in my community. It has become normal but it’s not right. It still is a fresh wound that never heals. I cry every time I hear the names of Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland. Philando Castile and now George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmad Arbery. I can and will not move on after a trial of another shady cop because at the end of the day another one of us is dead. The killer ends up loosing his job but I don’t see justice in that. I want to see convictions!

We’re in a got dam pandemic and it’s still happening. We’re fighting back because we have to. Our Black lives depend on it. We have to take action until people are held responsible. For anyone valuing buildings over people your racism is showing. For anyone silent during these pivotal times just know that your silence speaks volumes. To all my non Blacks down for the cause and are mourning and actively fighting to end racism with us we appreciate you.

If your a mom and your not Black what are you doing to make sure that your children don’t shoot unarmed Blacks or don’t make false police reports? I’m curious.

#Peaceafterrevolution

#Freeish

#Blacklivesmatter

#Iamwithyou

#Nojusticenopeace

My Quarantine Wedding

With all the unfortunate things going on in the world today I’m still happy. I choose to focus on the positive. Instead I want to remember how lucky I am. The world is shut down but our love continues on. We’ve faced a lot of adversity in our relationship who would have thought the Coronavirus would be another one of them.

Imagine planning this huge wedding and then a pandemic strikes. My heart goes out to every bride in my same position right now. It feels like someone just rained on your fucking parade because they kinda did. You’ve proposed to your bridesmaids, you even had your engagement party and right before you were set to send out save the dates you hold back because what if you have planned your day to a tee with all the bells and whistles for nothing. For coronavirus to be impacting your wedding due to social distancing and social gathering restrictions which may cause you to either cancel or postpone.

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In my case, after I’ve pressed the line on a few people who had felt the need to comment on how big I wanted my wedding to be because they felt like it was a waste of money. Now I’ll never understand why people get into other people’s finances but to each their own. Like how is me spending MY money on MY wedding any of anyone else concern (MY WEDDING, MY WAY). It seems like a no brainer that if it’s not your business it’s not your problem but I learned early on in the wedding planning process other people most definitely have no comprehension of mind the business that pays you. I had to tell a few people not so nicely that I deserve to have the best wedding day ever and if they are worried about the cost instead of my happiness they definitely could help cut costs by not attending-and I meant that. Had it all been in vain? LOL.

Just recently I made my mind up I’m keeping my wedding date. I was unmotivated to plan during this pandemic because I didn’t want to get my hopes up on my big dream wedding but I’ve decided the Covid is not stopping nothing, especially my marriage. I plan to still be a 2020 bride no matter what. I saw a fly ass wedding in New York on Instagram last week and we decided that we don’t want to wait for the corona to be over to be married.

Even if no one could be in attendance I’d still choose love, sex & stability foreva with my hubby to be today, tomorrow or any day of the week for that matter. The dress code may be a little different and I might have to get more creative but we gone move full steam ahead.

My wedding day might look a lot different than I planned but I will cherish it forever. If your a bride to be during quarantine check out @elainewelteroth and her fabulous stoop wedding. #Inspired

I will have a wedding on my wedding date during this pandemic even if it’s only just us. We deserve it. I can postpone my wedding reception to 2021 if I have to but I will not cancel my wedding. Love will win this time. In the midst of the unknown we always know we have each other and despite this absolutely heartbreaking moment for my fairytale wedding. The emotional stress I felt with every CDC update on gathering restrictions and traveling. Getting frustrated is an understatement. I’ve cried. I’ve grieved. Now that I released my anger I can embrace the endless wonderful possibilities.

All my 2020 brides I know you felt that!

If we’re still social distancing we will respect that because ultimately we love our family and want them all to be safe but if the coast is clear ya’ll already know we are partying accordingly. It will be lit af. Shit, we waited over a decade for this moment to align together as one and be absolutely sure(with no doubts) this is what we want. No state of crisis could convince us otherwise. It’s us until death do us part.

We can’t wait to celebrate for all the ups and downs we faced, mountains we climbed together, fears we’ve conquered, communication we mastered, trust we’ve build, and bond that remains unbreakable after everything we went through that was meant to break us and most importantly the principle in which we base our whole entire lives on FAMILY OVER EVERYTHING and God before all of that. 2020 will still be our biggest adventure. Periodt.

Cookies by @knotandbird

I welcome change but I rebuke negativity. I refuse to let Covid 19 steal our joyous day. My day maybe WAY way different than how I originally planned but it will still be how I imagined, beautiful and perfect because the love we have for each other is real. It’s unconditionally and can’t be controlled. Fuck Corona! Love wins again…

If your a bride right now feel free to reach out to me. I’d love to hear from you.

#Maskon

#Myquarantinewedding

#Lovewins

#Relationshipgoals

#Lovegoals

#2020bridetobe

Go Ahead Start That Business, Sis!

Yeah, the CoronaVirus is rocking the world but don’t let anything outside of you stop you from starting your business even if you only have $100. Don’t over think it to much. Just do it. Do your research. Make sure your not getting scammed. Make sure your vendors are reliable. Do what you can with what you have. Go ahead and start that business,sis.

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Scared money don’t make no money!

Figure out what your passionate about. Not just what you think will sell but something you like doing. I personally watched a bunch of Youtube videos from girls who had started a lash line and were giving do’s and don’t tips, talking about things they wish they knew before starting, essentials of what to buy and topics that I felt I wanted to know before I decided moving forward and getting samples of lashes.

You can start a business with little money or no money. Even if you don’t have the money now get quotes so you know how much you need to get and then start putting your plan in motion by giving yourself a timeline of dates you want certain things accomplished by. For instance, on such and such date have vendor picked. Start putting clothes on offer up to sale to make money. Maybe even tighten up your budget so you can save more, Uber, Postmates, babysit, or recycle. Just do what you got to do to get them coins up so you can stack it up and get your business started.

“God wouldn’t have put the dream in your heart if he hadn’t given you the tools to fulfill it”

If you have money and are scared listen, let me tell you, just sitting on money and not investing it it’s not doing anything for you. You might as well spend it on starting that business you always dreamt of. All you have to do is get over your fear and make that one bold move that will change your life forever. Spend that money and double up, sis. You won’t regret it. Now that you decided in your head it’s time to get your girl boss on. It’s time to get to business.

Tip: Get you a pen and a notebook for all your ideas. Write down everything! Start making a checklist of things you need to do before your launch date.

How to find a vendor.

There’s so many vendors out there. Use google search engine. That’s what it’s for. I was up all night looking for vendors. There are lots of vendors to choose on Alibaba. I found mine there. I won’t give you my vendor list because I don’t believe in giving out handouts but I will always give you the websites that I use. Look up what whatever your looking for on Alibaba. There are lots of vendors to pick from. If you complaining about having to many options then maybe starting a business is not for you. Table the idea until you are really ready. If you ready today decide based on your budget. Your budget realistically is what you can afford.

Tip: In the beginning you really don’t need nothing to expensive. After you’ve made your money back each go around then you can upgrade as you go. Other than that do go crazy getting the most expensive storage organizers and notebooks. Dollar tree items are fine. No ones going to see them but you anyways.

Most vendors have a minimum order. When you buy in bulk shipping in handling international cost a lot so be prepared to pay even more than what you would if your just buying samples. I only do payments through Alibaba.com or Paypal just to be on the safe side. Before ordering ask how long does shipping take. Once you’ve place your order check in every so often for updates but don’t be a bugaboo.

Handle your business before your business handles you.

You don’t have to get an LLC right away. Trademarking and registering your business is expensive make sure you are satisfied with your business name, your logo and whatever business you have for a while first to make sure you still even want to stay in business. Some people stop and start a few businesses before they find their niche and that’s ok. If you want to be an entrepreneur you’ll experience some losses but all I’m going to say is don’t let that stop your entrepreneurial journey.

If your on fire and are producing lots of hot content I suggest you do get a LLC right away. I’m a newcomer but I try to be knowledgeable and I’ve hear to many stories of people jacking your whole name, color scheme or idea. People can be ruthless. So if this is something your worried about trademark your business first before your business takes off.

You know I believe in manifestation and since we trying to be a fortunate 500 company we gone handle our business and operate like one. Just do your research so that you get the right documents filed to protect your business.

Tip: If you have money hire a lawyer instead of doing it yourself. Either way make sure this process is done. It may take a while but it’s not that hard.

Branding for dummy’s.

Be creative. Don’t be basic. Make your product standout more than the next one. From your packaging, social media posts, hashtags, and promo videos be intentional. Use watermarks. Put your brand on everything. Blast it. Drill it in your customers head and be consistent but please don’t copy because other brands. People will think your not authentic or worst a scammer. People buy from people who the feel they can trust. If they don’t trust you, you just lost out on some money.

Remember your brand is a representation of you. Get inspiration from others but don’t copy. Be your genuine self because it makes a difference. It makes you unique. Plus can’t nobody do you like you. You are YOU and that’s your superpower. You can copy someone else’s sauce all day long but the sauce not going to taste the same. That because they put their swagger on it so you do that with your baby (your business). That’s why I don’t even look at what the competition is doing. I just focus on my business.

Unless you work for yourself there is no such thing as job security.

Don’t get discouraged.

Being a entrepreneur is hard. Truth is things will go wrong. You’ll feel stuck. Whether you have a small following or not keep hustling. Keep posting because when you want something in life you gotta go get it. Stick to your plan and eventually you’ll see the sells start coming. Just keep building your brand. You may at first think no ones watching or paying attention don’t you be foolish they are definitely watching. They going to take about you and even may talk bad about you but keep doing you. How many times do you think about buying something before you actually by it? This is exactly why company’s have wishlists.

I strongly recommend setting up your website so your product is accessible to the world. I spend $25 and made my own website on Wix and I told myself at my one year anniversary I’ll revamp my site and pay someone to do it. As for now I’m on budget and since I’m a little tech savvy I went that route. Websites are important but also do pop up shops, use brand ambassadors, get your friends to help repost your promos and get your brand out there and make sells from dm’s. There’s millions of people you can reach and get your products in the hand of no matter how saturated any field is. Don’t be discouraged.

Make sure your put your stimulus check to good use.

I just wanted to help and encourage you, sis. Push yourself, get those negative thoughts out your mind and speak positivity into your business. Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you can do. If you need any advice or motivation I’m here. I’m not 100% where I want to be but I know I’ll get there. I’m really excited about my business. If your not following me follow me on Instagram @Bossmommyblog and @Moodybabelashes . Check me out!

I hope this blog post was informative. I hope you like it and I hope you start your business soon. Hurry up and get you an Instagram. What are you waiting for.

#Starterbusiness

#Stimuluscheck

#Research

#Businesstips

#Momentrepreneur

#Startingyourownbusiness

Your Never To Old To Learn 5 Tips To Improve Your Communication

Don’t be misunderstood again. Learn tips to improve your communication and your relationships with friends, family and co workers. Better communication helps problem solve conflict so there’s less fighting and more time for enjoying the now especially during this pandemic where we are spending even more time with our significant others just chilling in the house.

I keep joking that during this quarantine I absolutely know my fiancé and are ready for marriage because we haven’t killed each other yet. LOL. In the workplace good communication builds trust amongst you and your coworkers. It will also get you in places your resume may not take you and if done right will effectively get you the amazing career you’ve being wanting.

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You are your biggest investment! Sometimes as women we trick ourselves into thinking we are not enough but we are. Stop self limiting your self. Be the boss of your life. You can do it even if it’s hard. 2020 is not over yet the world will revert back to what it was. In the meantime, keep self focusing and learn something new.

These 5 simple tips will help you talk to anyone.

1. Improve your grammar and vocabulary.

This is super important if you like to communicate via email or text. Your choice of words set a tone in conversations. Lately, I’ve been I guess you can say fascinated by language. You’ll be surprised how your choice of words can mean something different to different people. Shit, even writing in all capital letters can be taken the wrong way.

Quick story, I was organizing a surprise party and left cap lock on and later found out that out of all the people I sent the message to one girl was offended. She said that she felt I was yelling at her. You see how something so small can turn out not the way you intended, even just changing font can make a difference. For instance, instead of saying sorry I messed up try I’ll fix that now. The power of words really can shift dialogue in a positive or negative direction.

Bad grammar will often make who ever is reading what you write assume you don’t care, are unprofessional or disrespectful. The fact that it leads room for assumptions is the main reason it needs to be corrected so your not misinterpreted. To many grammatical errors make it hard for readers to comprehend what your meaning. By improving your grammar you’ll be clearly understood.

2. Organize your ideas

Be clear about what you want to accomplish when having any conversation. Sticking to the subject and not rambling will help drive your intent home. If you tend to venture off subject by simply organizing your thoughts on paper it will help you stay on track. I particularly use the the summary hand method to organize my thoughts before speaking and writing.

Things that cause us to dance around our feelings is the fact that sometimes we want more and feel ashamed. Crazy right? We feel bad that things aren’t working but we need to learn that by not speaking up that fear is what causes us not to get what we want out of life.

You shouldn’t feel ashamed that you realize your mission in life doesn’t align with someone or a company your working for. It’s ok to want more connection, like mindedness, and shared value or vision of the future. Don’t stay stagnant somewhere if you want more for your future. You can’t change anybody by loving harder or trying harder but you can change you. Letting go is hard, but so is staying.

3. Make eye contact

It’s important to make good eye contact while your talking because it shows that your listening to the other person and that builds trust.

Tip: The secret to making non awkward eye contact is to relax.

4. Make sure your message matches your delivery

There’s a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertive is when your direct, calm and respectful. While aggressive is unhealthy communication that is rude, loud and even threatening. Being arrogant is also not effective when trying to be heard. It is the worst.

Remember that your on the same team and working together to solve a conflict. No you vs me conversations should take place but more so you and I versus whatever the issue is. I also recommend to be calm and genuine. Don’t speak with to much emotion. When people feel like you are genuinely trying to help them they will receive you better.

5. Practice (makes progress)

Hard things are always hard to do but if your thoughtful and at least make an attempt to improve your communication chances are your efforts will help resolve conflict. As always assume positive intent and don’t expect everything to magically change over night.

You’ll know your communication was successful when your intended message is received. By speaking/writing well, organizing your thoughts, making good eye contact, paying attention to your delivery and practicing before you know it you’ll be able to better communicate work tasks, answer questions, give information and participate in meetings. Good communication is very effective in all areas of your life and lack of good communication can ruin a lot of good shit that you probably could have worked through if you already knew these tips.

In a world full of cultures and languages how do you try not to have communication breakdowns?

#Tips

#Communication

#Ambitiononfleek

#Entrepreneur

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