If your one of the non-Essential workers and are not clocking in to your 9-5 these days quarantine and read a book. In my free time I’ve replaced music with audiobooks and it has changed my life. I’ve always loved to read. I was raised by a reader. My mom has worked at the library for as long as I can remember. She always brought home books that were no longer in circulation and sparked my interest in reading.
A little fun fact about me is that I even thought one day I’d follow in her footsteps and my very first job was working at the public library when I was in high school. It was there that I fell even more in love with reading and realized how helpful books were. They can take you to a far away place, feed your imagination, help you decompress or feed your mind.
I remember obsessing over baby sitters club books. I even like biographies and non fiction and later had an erotic books phase in high school because back then that’s when Zane was poppin’. In college I dived into self help books. I realized while soul searching that books could be more beneficial than just for entertainment or researching information for an assignment. Everything you want to learn, change or become can be taught from reading a book. Authors dedicate their whole lives to giving up meaningful helpful guides that you can take something from just by reading inside the pages of a book.
As I got older I still enjoyed books but finding the time to read while taking care of my kids got in the way of my busy life that was until I learned about Audible an audiobook app. I love the feel of a book, turning pages and even using my little bookmarks but audiobooks have been the solution to being able to make time to discover new things. Instead of you reading, someone is reading the book to you.
You can listen almost anywhere while your doing chores, in the car, exercising, and running errands. It’s made it easier for me to do the things I need to get done and still make time to learn on the go and at my own pace. We all know life is a series of obstacle preventing you from reading a book but with all this free time on your hands why not quarantine and feed your brain.
Here’s a list of some good reads.
*Your a Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
*48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
*Contagious: Why Things Catch On by Jonah Berger
*The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
*Three Magic Words: Key to Power, Peace and Plenty by Uell Stanley Anderson
*The Spook Who Sat At The Door by Sam Greenlee
*The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir
*The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
*The Science if Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles
*There are no short cuts to e-commerce except these by Chris Zoe
Whether your lonely, need uplifting, help with a relationship or need to find the courage inside of yourself to live the life you dream there’s a book for you that will make you feel like your not alone. When you read you feel connected to a character, a common pain, a goal, a journey or pleasure that has the power to solve your problems. By taking what you’ve learned and applying it to your life you can help yourself but they only work if you do the actual work. Remember before you’re a leader success is about growing yourself.
Don’t be afraid to walk alone. Goals are personal. Stay on track and don’t let your 2020 goals be your 2021 goals. This is exactly what I had to tell myself this week because the CoronaVirus was messing up my rhythm. I felt like I finally had the time to research eye lash vendors in China. I found one that I love that’s affordable and has good quality mink lashes I would actually wear and now I’m fucking scared that they might deliver me some CoronaVirus. The irony.
I’m so ready to make some new money moves but I can’t be serving CoronaVirus to my potential customers. I got upset and stopped production. I’m usually an optimistic person but I just couldn’t help getting panicked that if I didn’t act soon I’d never get around too seeing it through. I even stopped using my time wisely since I was unwilling to compromise my product and was at a stand still.
Then I got to thinking I prayed for days like this to be able to focus on my dreams and now that the time is here and I had all the time in the world to go full throttle here goes the CoronaVirus throwing a monkey wrench in my timeline. I spent countless sleepless nights looking through catalogs, staying up to late to communicate with vendors since there’s a big time difference, and I finally figured out what I wanted to purchase but now I’m to scared to buy.
I felt defeated and I feared loosing momentum until I saw that quote on Instagram about tests are not to discover your weaknesses but to show you your strength. It’s like a light switched in my head. I changed my thinking immediately and began breaking down my goal. Then realized that after I had written down my to do list I was pretty much locked and loaded and ready to go. Meaning once the CoronaVirus is gone and everything dies down I’ll be ready to come correct.
New day, new goal.
Instead of worrying about what I can’t change I decided to dive in and design my box, packaging and etc so I can be able to precisely get what I want done when it’s time to customize it. Yeah, I could have just pushed on but I ultimately feel like it was a blessing in disguise because maybe I would have put it out and I would have regretted certain details. Now I can be proud of my finished product because I know 1000% everything was done by my standards and I didn’t settle just to beat my own personal timeline.
We all like instant gratification and I’m no different but I’m learning in this time to refocus on my vision so I can amplify it. Now, I have my next 3 collections already planned out. My Instagram reel about to be poppin. Plus I took the time to write out photoshoot shot lists. I’m not playing around. I’m so excited to share one of my passions with y’all. The moral of this story is to remind you to not let anyone or anything stop you. When Plan A doesn’t work or even Plan B that doesn’t mean give up.
You didn’t make the Forbes list today so get up.
It’s easy to get discouraged but self-love will make you so much stronger. I promised myself to stay committed to me this year. To put my goals first for a change and that means to keep going until all of my plans works. Like they say you have to move differently if you want different. So I didn’t let it affect my day and moved onto putting all my ideas to paper. That way I’d stay productive doing something that would help elevate my business in some way.
After all, I was meant to be rich I can tell by the way I spend money. LOL. Did you set your goals for the new year? Are you claiming growth, success, happiness and money? Tell me what you plan to do when when we’re free from quarantine.
I’ve been breastfeeding 18 months now and I either get props from supporters or the biggest stink eye from those that think that’s to old. The biggest misconception about breast feeding is that once your kid has teeth you should stop, and if your child is walking and talking and your still breastfeeding then comes the big cloud of judgement. People think somethings wrong with momma for her to be going so long like it’s a problem. There’s nothing wrong with me I’m just trying to feed my kid.
I’ve actually had people tell me that it’s sickening to breastfeed after one. I was baffled. People can be very rude some can be way to opinionated about how I choose to mother my children. You would have thought I asked for their unwanted advice. No matter what their opinions are I make it very clear that they don’t run my life and as long as my baby wants to suck up this love I’ll continue to breastfeed regardless of how they feel. I’m not worried about judgmental ass people anyway. All I care about is the well being of my child.
I’m a breastfeeding badass.
It’s sad that people forget that breastfeeding is normal. Do I wish this phase of my life was over YES but my baby still enjoys breastfeeding, especially at night. Now that we’re in quarantine he wants the comfort even more, but at school he eats solid food and drinks regular milk. He’s a happy healthy baby and if he’s to stubborn to give up breast milk that’s fine with me. At this point I’m a breastfeeding badass I’ll breast feed anywhere if my child is hungry.
I don’t even force him to quit either because I’d end up feeling guilty. What does bother me is the rough days when he is doing gymnastics, death gripping my boob, man handling my free breast and or digging in my nose while feeding then someone comes along with their nose in the air being negative instead of offering me support.
At this point he hasn’t bitten my nipple yet and I’ve mentally adjusted to his feedings. It doesn’t bother me that he’s not ready to stop anymore. I’m not on societies time limit nor do I feel the need to be private about breastfeeding my one year old. When I was a first time mom I cared what people thought. I was self conscious and embarrassed. Then when I had my second I began to care less. Now I’m like mine your own tits these babies are coming out whether the room is full or empty.
We all good over here.
I feel like when he’s ready to move on I’m right there with him. As for now we’re just in this together. We’re just winging it. Playing it day by day. Enjoying our time together. I wish more people understood that breastfeeding is not weird after one. In fact, it’s scientifically proven that the longer you breastfeed the smarter and stronger your child is.
Not easy but worth it.
I just seen so much backlash last week that Coco, the wife of rapper/ actor Ice T, is getting for still breastfeeding her 4 year old. I wish people would stop having an issue with such a natural thing. What do they think people did before formula, starve their kids? Historically breastfeeding has been apart of our history and I’m confused as to why it became such a shameful thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s a beautiful natural magical thing that women can feed their babies from their bosom. It’s irritating getting dirty looks or hearing people say “he’s to big” or “he needs to get off.” First of all, it’s none of your business.
I am so proud to be a woman.
My sons pediatrician is trying to get me to stop because he says that babies that are breastfeed after one start loosing weight but not in my case. My son is a growing boy and doing just fine in the weight department. I need to find a doctor that gets it. Last time I checked it’s recommended a minimum of 2 years to breastfeed your kid but when women practice extended breastfeeding everyone is shocked. Some people are so disturbed like you plan on breastfeeding your kid until they go to college or something. My child is still a baby and still in diaper it’s not like he’s school age and getting bullied for still breastfeeding now that I understand is just to long.
I try to block out all the negative and about the tons of support and encouragement I get most of the time. That is what makes me pretty proud. Other moms are impressed because if your a mom you know how rocky the beginning stages can be especially if you have latch issues. Then to return to work and pump and still manage to produce enough. While on the flip side being postpartum and even dealing with postpartum depression and fighting through the needs of your child before your own. So when I look back at my journey I’m even surprised where still going strong. The only way to understand the magnitude of the blessing of being able to breastfeed this long is to walk in my shoes.
For anybody passing judgement remember MY CHILD, NOT YOURS.
It’s not nasty or gross and I’ve even heard people take it so far to say incest. Smh. People are annoying. How many adults are still drinking milk from another species? Lol people hate my smart ass mouth. What’s funny it’s always that one person that isn’t a mother and has no experience that’s the first one to comment. I hate when non mothers think they know more than you. Like, girl have several seats. You not about this life. You have no idea either.
My breastfeeding shouldn’t offend you and if it does SUCK IT. Don’t look, keep it moving with you day but do not say anything obnoxious to me. This sleep deprived mom might give you the finger. My reply when someone is to stupid to mind their own dam business. It’s my lawful right to breastfeed anytime and anywhere. Don’t nobody got time to be pumping all the time to make you feel comfortable.
Stand your ground.
Go mommy go! Breastfeed until it no longer works for you both. I wish I could high five all breastfeeding moms and tell them how amazing and exceptional they are. Stay true to yourself. If this is something you want then push to continue on no matter what the haters and naysayers say or think.
Who else is on this breastfeeding journey with me with a child over one? How are you holding up?
So you know someone who just had a baby or your about to have one yourself. Share this post with all your family and friends so they understand there is something called hospital etiquette and before coming to visit you and baby they should consider a few things. You want to be respected during your postpartum so you can enjoy it.
This information is intended for you to think about what you really want. You’ve created your ideal birth plan and now it’s time to start thinking about after the birth. Do you want visitors at the hospital or not? What rules do you want them to kindly follow.
There’s levels to this ish. It’s crazy that I even have to write about this to let people know how to not overstep their boundaries. I get that friends and family’s get excited when a new little bundle of joy is born but they need to remember that the parents just had a baby and have plans of their own for how they want the next couple days to go. Make sure you clearly establish your preferences ahead of time or you might be doing damage control later.
I personally experienced my own sister posting my baby on social media before I did and was pissed. She posted a picture of my baby with wires on him at that. My son’s first days were spent in NICU and that’s not something I was ready or wanted to share with the world right away. That’s something that I thought would of been common sense not to do. Like a real big no no but she didn’t even see the harm in it. Thus, this post was created on behalf of her and all the overbearing family members who loose all sense of common sense when baby arrives.
I get her side as far as being an aunt all over again and being so proud but at the end of the day people the parents wants trump everything so consider them and respect their wishes. Having a baby is a special time. The transition to motherhood is mentally and physically a lot to take in the first couple day’s as you maneuver your new life. Your new normalcy is to protect your baby at all cost. Meaning no bad vibes and plenty of rest is needed in order to have energy to care for your newborn. So here goes some visiting new born rules or I like to call them “hospital etiquette.”
I’ve talked to all my mom friends and have compiled a list of things we think should be standard hospital etiquette for visitors. I recommend using these tips to help deal with visitors and be able to stick to your no-or yes if that’s what you want. Either way be empower to create your boundaries ahead of time because you don’t owe anyone your new baby.
1. Do not show up unless your invited.
This ones self explanatory. There will be no extension of any olive branches during this period so don’t even try it. You’ve had 10 months to figure out where you stand and if an invitation to the hospital isn’t given don’t show up unannounced.
Tip: If your in-law or your own parent throws off your zen politely be honest and let them know come by another time when your ready to deal with her/him. They may get offended but it’s your baby and during this precious time you don’t want to be emotional, anxious or upset.
2. Stay home if your sick.
Stay yo ass at home! The newborns immune systems is so weak when they are first born. If your coughing, sneezing or just got over a cold just don’t come up to the hospital period. I don’t care how enthusiastic you are about seeing the new baby you gotta sit this one out. Come back when your feeling better.
Tip: Parents don’t take any risks. It’s ok to say no to kids too because they are full of germs.
3. Don’t you dare post picture of the baby or announce the arrival before the parents do.
It really sad but you actually have to tell people this because some people loose all sense of boundaries. They get so excited and forget the expectant parents waited 10 months for the moment to announce the birth of their baby. It’s just plain rude for anyone to do it first. Slow your roll and wait until after the parents have posted. Don’t even congratulate them let them share their joy at their own pace.
4. Do not kiss the baby.
This rule is very important because newborns immune systems aren’t built up yet and they haven’t gotten their vaccines so they are vulnerable to infections and illness. So don’t think the parents are being germaphobes. They are just trying to protect their child from Herpes Simplex Virus commonly known as the kiss of death. When someone who has the virus kisses an infant it can be spread rapidly and be fatal. Don’t get throat punched lol.
5. Ask permission to take anyone’s child’s picture.
Remember everyone is different. Parents should be able to decide if they want you to take their kids photos. They may want to be private because they are sending out special birth announcements later. You just never know so ask.
6. Wash your dam hands before holding baby.
All visitors must wash their hands thoroughly before touching or holding baby.
7. Don’t stay to long.
Mom needs to get her rest. She’s up every hour feeding or having a nurse check her vitals so she’s exhausted. She appreciates your thoughtfulness but just wants to focus on her newborn. Keep your visit to 45 minutes or shorter.
8. If the baby is sleep when you arrive, do not wake them up.
Tip: I recommend if you just gave birth to schedule appointments so your not overwhelmed by visitors. Be honest with your guest and don’t feel bad if the time they are available doesn’t work for you and you have to tell them.
8. No drama *Most important*
Don’t come and be nosy. Don’t come and make comments about the mother’s appearance. Don’t give the hospital room number to anyone.
9. If the baby starts crying while in your arms give the baby back to mom right away.
Crying is definitely cue that baby wants something or needs something only mom can provide so give her the baby back.
10. If mom is breastfeeding please leave the room during feeding.
Let her bond with her baby in peace especially if this is her first child. She might not be comfortable yet doing it front of people so don’t wait for her to say anything to you first. Just assume she would want you to excuse your yourself. She still learning which breastfeeding positions work best for her and baby and she doesn’t need your eyes peering at her. Also, breastfeeding may be painful at first and she needs to relax so give her space.
Hey mommy, you were made for motherhood. Embrace it and make everyone around you respect your motherin’ starting day 1! Your the boss. You just pushed out a baby so handle your hospitals visitors according to your comfort level. Visiting your baby is a privilege and if they are lucky enough to make the cut to be able to visit your baby at the hospital all visitors must abide by your non negotiable rules. Like this post if you agree. More moms need to put there foot down and stop letting people ruin their postpartum experience.
With all this CoronaVirus pandemic madness going on I hope we all take away from this whole mess that we should always have a family emergency plan. The most useful resource my job actually gave me was to think about having a plan. In our case right now we must focus on staying safe and staying healthy so that we don’t spread the virus anymore because it may be just like the flu for some of us but for our older population it’s more fatal and can cause death. Those aged 60 and older are most at risk.
Not planning is really planning to fail. Be prepared.
Don’t ever think you won’t need an emergency plan. Tsk.tsk. ALWAYS have a family emergency plan. You want to make sure under any unplanned circumstances or natural disasters you can survive at least 72 hours. I’m not sure why people are buying so much toilet paper right now. If you do end up quarantined the amount of toilet paper I’m witnessing people buy is absurd and unnecessary. The government sure does know how to scare people and distract them. I do believe that the government is creating mass hysteria to cover something up while the elections are proceeding but I won’t talk about politics in this post. That’s for another day.
Let’s not panic but prepare rationally.
I’m definitely not as worried as many others but I’m not complacent either and that’s only because I’m prepared. I’m not just buying up shit because everyone else is. I think majority of the world that’s panicking and stockpiling are causing others to do the same which is causing the need for stores to limit the number of items people can buy. Let’s think smart people. In the state of any crisis what do we really need and what should we be concerned with. This post is not intended to stress you out or downplay what’s going on but actual help you make a family emergency plan that will work in an emergency.
The other day I went to Target to buy my son some wipes and the whole aisle was wiped out. There was barely anything and completely no wipes. Since there’s a toilet paper shortage people are going after the next best thing, wipes. They’re not even considering that us mother’s actually need them for day to day life. Then, when I went to Costco there was no bread. Like how many sandwiches do you think you’ll survive off? Just odd. I get hand sanitizer and even canned goods but bread.
Nows the perfect time to make a big batch of your favorite soup and freeze it. If your going to buy stuff think about if you get the CoronaVirus what would you need to get through it. Buy humidifiers, Kleenex, cough suppressants, probiotics, vitamins, Vic vapor rub, regular masks (you don’t need the N95 masks), Ibuprofen for fevers and sore throat, and lots of water to stay hydrated. Do not go to the ER unless you can’t breath. I know that seems not normal but you don’t want to spread it and they’ll quarantine you anyways so I recommend calling 911. They will help you get the help you need if your in distress without exposing others to the virus.
Tip: Don’t forget to get refills on your inhalers off they are expired or about to expire.
Please be careful and take care of yourselves!
Besides staying away from large gatherings or events, traveling unless it’s business critical, and properly washing your hands, and covering your mouth when sneezing to prevent the spread of the COVID-19 your plan should also include evacuation routes (even a back up one), copy of important documents, inventory of your home’s possessions, a family contact, person and disaster kits that’s portable.
You want to plan as if all services are unavailable and practice every 6 months to keep the plan refreshed in everyone’s mind as well to make sure that you’ve inspected all your kits so that nothings expired or no longer working. If you have pets or service animals don’t forget to make sure they are included in the plan too.
Tip: Make sure every family member knows their role in an emergency.
If you see any businesses trying to price gouge during a state of crisis and take advantage of desperate people please report them because that’s just not right. Some people just have no morality smh.
If you been following my blog you know that I’ve been on my Dave Ramsey ish for a while now. I’ve been really making a conscious effort to gain financial freedom and saving has been a big part of my journey. It’s helped me get out of debt and invest into myself. It’s given me more freedom and security, both of which I’m obsessed with. The piece of mind in knowing I now have options has relieved a lot of the stress in my life I used to have.
Money is important. It affects everything in our lives.
Money effects your attitude, your family, your marriage, where we live, who you associate with, and what you can do with your free time. The more I learn about money the more I get to help YOU. I’m forever trying to learn and grow. It’s a bonus that I get to help y’all out so together we can live our best lives because having freedom and options is much more fun then stressing over the affects of not having enough money.
Budgeting isn’t easy. I want to support and guide you if I can. We get comfortable living the same broke thinking lifestyle that got us into debt and forget we are the masters of our universe. We can beat our financial struggles if we budget accurately and live within our means. I call it thinking broke on purpose. It takes learning to have contentment because money isn’t everything but it is a down payment for happiness. It takes guts and a whole lot of self love to stay disciplined enough to save when we’ve been programmed to be consumers and spend, spend, spend.
Manage your money don’t let it manage you.
Here are a few ways that I’ve been able to save a dollar are two:
1. Cancel memberships and subscriptions. You don’t need Netflix, Hulu, Firestick and Disney Plus. These subscriptions are great alternative to cable but will only save you money if you on have one. No point in giving up cable if your going to just buy every subscription known to man and pay about the same price. The goal is to save isn’t it? Also, that gym membership your not using cancel it. That makeup subscription let it go. You have enough. All those, small subscriptions fees add up so if you aren’t actively using them or need them get rid of them.
2. Electricity. Find out your electric company’s peak time and devise a plan to only use what you need by unplugging appliances you don’t use regularly. Choose to read or play games over watching TV. Go to bed early. More sleep is always needed. Use fan instead of the AC. Turn down the thermostat. Also, I know state to state varies but look into what programs they have to get utility assistance or sign up for any rewards programs.
Rule of thumb if it has a light on it’s costing you money.
3. Phone bill. Phone bills suck but phone are one of those things where it doubles as my computer too so it’s a non negotiable for me. It has to be paid. I do a lot of business on my phone so I need a good cell phone provider and a smart phone but for other members in your family consider comparing group plans for cheaper prices or cheaper phones. Phone bills add up quickly and one of the reasons is because you could be paying for services you don’t use get rid of them ASAP to get your phone bill down.
Another way to cut your bill down is going with phone company’s like Cricket or Boost Mobile. These companies offer services for a lot less. They are ideal if you only have basic needs like sending texts and making phone calls which is perfect for small children. They typically don’t need a IPhone or the latest Samsung Galaxy they just want to play games and watch YouTube.
4. Eating Out. Sometimes cooking food at home requires a lot of time that some of us working moms don’t have. It’s easier to just slide through the drive thru of your favorite fast food drive through and pick up something for the whole family. It’s best to stay away from restaurants altogether if you want to save some money. Join me on my eat at home challenge.
You’ll save major coins by meal prepping or having knowing what meals you want to cook in advance and taking your leftovers to work. If that’s to hard just pick one designated day that you can eat out like only fridays.
5. Coffee. Moms we are not giving up coffee because let’s face it we need our boss mom fuel. There’s entirely no way we’d be able to get through the day without it. I do recommend cutting Starbucks out of your daily routine. I know people who go to Starbucks multiple times a day and go for for venti or even the secret size trenta.
I have chosen to replace Starbucks with 7-11 coffee and I enjoy my caffeine now for more than half the price of one Starbucks cup. Finding an alternative coffee habit helps a ton with saving. Even investing in a good coffee maker will help you save a good chunk of money too. Give it a try and watch your saving fund go up.
6. Name brand items. We don’t need name brands but we like them. Try using generic products over name brands and see which ones you like. Some you will and some you won’t but most are great. When it comes to food in a blind taste test you probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. The bottom line is the saving are real.
If your kids complain about the switch trick them and put the generic option in the name brand container or package. Don’t tell them you got it from me though. LOL. I love my labels just as much as the next but unless I catch a sale, have a discount code or gift card I’m not paying full price for it.
Consignment shops are a great option for label lovers because you can get gently used name brand items for less. I believe you can make a statement in anything that you wear. Whether it’s from Target or Gucci you make an outfit. I’m a big high low girl. I mix and match what I like and put together great ensembles just fine. I personally think once you learn how budget shop fit name brand items you realize you can still be fly and in fact it’s even more satisfying.
7. Entertainment. Be frugal with your entertainment. You don’t have to spend lots of money to have fun. I love spending time with my kids and finding free activities around my city. My go to place is the library. They seem to always have an event going on. Take advantage of the library in your city, recreation centers, parks and make it a point to not spend money or if you do very little if it. A few suggestions I have are going to happy hour where drinks and appetizers are quite less than dinner. Exploring the outdoors is the number one way to save. Get creative and have fun without breaking the bank. Doing outside activities like hiking will cost you nothing.
8. Shopping. Limit shopping to need vs want. Think about what you really need and if it’s worth spending money that you could be saving instead. If it’s a “hell yes” I absolutely need it to function grab it, but if it’s a “it’s nice to have” but I don’t need it put your debit card down. Every time you get to urge to spend pause for a second and see if you get that same feeling after thinking about after 5 minutes. Usually that rush goes away.
Stay away from Costco, Hobby Lobby, Homegoods, Target or Walmart when your trying to save because those stores will gobble up your money in a heart beat. You’ll go in for toilet paper and by the time the cashier has finished ringing you up you’ll want to fall out from the total.
9. Groceries. Make a list. Only shop with a list. This will help you stay on budget.
Money is really important and you should manage it well. I budget because it has changed my life. By budgeting I’m able to put my money to good use. I’m trying to elevate. I want to buy a house soon. So for me budgeting has helped me get my credit score where I need it to be so that I can get a lower APR and be able to save for a larger down payment to put down.
One of my big goals after purchasing a house is to pay it off and be mortgage free within 10 years. God willing it will happen but I know that it will take a lot of sacrifice which is why I’m starting with baby steps now. I’m trying to change my lifestyle now because I value accomplishing my goals more than I value material things or temporary happiness. Saving money isn’t easy but definitely worth it.
What are so freaking excited about? Why do you want to budget? I want to cheer you on. I believe in you! Let’s up-level together.
If you don’t do a photo shoot every month of your child’s first month of existence are you even a good mom?! OMG, it’s ridiculous to even think that way. Being the perfect mom has nothing to do with making sure you get the best shot of your adorable new baby (but you do get bonus points if your able to pull of off *wink*) and more to do with just learning your baby and taking care of their needs.
What mom doesn’t have an iCloud full of candid baby pictures anyways so just because they aren’t perfectly curated doesn’t mean they won’t be appreciated in the long run. Keep snapping pictures no matter what. Capture everything from their first smile, cry, funny face, crazy hair, cute outfit, crawl, or mischief. Document it all. Their first year goes by so fast so don’t ever feel like your ever taking to many pictures. That’s highly impossible to do.
I’ve seen photoshoots as simple as baby on a monthly milestone blanket, milestone sticker, age blocks or even more elaborate photoshoots with extravagant props and costumes beautifully done. How ever far you can stretch your imagination is up to you but if your going to do it don’t have such high expectations of the models because after all they are babies. Be flexible and have fun.
I think milestone pictures are the cutest way to capture the growth of your child’s first year but I just couldn’t keep up. I gave up after the 4th month and I don’t care. I do love the new trend just in case any of you new moms are thinking about it, go for it! I just was preoccupied with my other 2 kids, trying to maintain a social life and just being utterly exhausted. If you fail like I did don’t sweat it though. There’s so many other traditions you can create that may stick.
Let that mom guilt go. Your baby isn’t missing out on anything by not doing the month by month photoshoots since they are purely optional. Also, there is always going to be that one mom that will out do you in your eyes. Give her kudos and don’t think that deeply into it. You are still a wonderful mom, I pinky promise.
Although, I failed I still captured pictures of baby Kalvin’s first year and put my favorites in a Shutterfly photo book. I’ve done this to document all my kid’s birthdays, special occasions and sports activities. It’s easier than scrapbooking and my kids enjoy looking at their books and reading the captions. Visit Shutterfly and make yours today!
I was going to post this for TMI Tuesday but my phone was tripping. A day late but here it is. I’m not sure why no one is talking about bladder incontinence during pregnancy and after childbirth and how doing kegal excersizes can help prevent the occurrence but lucky my friends you have me. Let’s talk about what we only usually talk about in our inner circle.
The 411 on your pelvic floor.
I feel like at this point it’s time to add bladder incontinence to the long list of secrets no one tells you about motherhood but you wish you knew before hand. The sudden urge to go pee and how a hard cough or deep laugh will trigger a little sprinkle of pee. It is definitely embarrassing and annoying. What’s even worst is when you experience this in public or at work and don’t have extra undies. Not cool.
As many of you know I work in the dental field and I always tend to feel pressured to hold my pee to stay on schedule. Sometimes it’s nearly impossible and I experience leakage. Yes, I said it I experience leakage. Yes, I’m human just like you. It’s awkward and embarrassing all at the same time even if nobody knows but me.
I had 3 c-sections so I was sure my vagina hadn’t changed to much except for the fact that I always had to use the bathroom. Then you add the fact that I like to drink water because I swear it does my skin wonders to the mix, and that is how the bathroom became like my second home. The faintest sensation that I had to pee was more like an urge. I couldn’t hold it for shit so for damage control I’d find myself emptying out just in case to prevent myself from having to go pee while knee deep in assisting in a crown prep.
I didn’t think there was anything I could do about it until I found a new product on the market called The Perifit. It’s a kegal exerciser that comes with an app. The app features a game that you can play to strengthen your pelvic floor. The more you play the stronger it gets over time.
Flex that muscle, sis.
In 2020, we didn’t get spaceships flying around like in the Jetson’s but we did get the ability to strengthen our kegal muscles while playing video games. Aren’t we ladies lucky? I’m so proud to be apart of this technologically advanced era. It definitely has its perks.
The Perit Fit is way better than those wacky yoni eggs, kegal weights or balls that you’ll be into for like a week then be over it. It’s a kegal excersizer that makes training your pelvic floor fun and entertaining. It’s helped me control my bladder at work and improved my muscle control in the bedroom. Who doesn’t like a product that kills two birds with one stone?!
It’s amazing the results I’ve seen.
Side note: There’s nothing like starting or ending your day with a big fat O. Yeah everyone is to scared to talk about sex and pleasure but not me. If I’m having engaging in intercourse I want to be satisfied too. The Perifit is just what us ladies have needed to take sex to the next level. I’ve been my bae over 15 years and I’m always down to try something new to boost our love life. I’ve been using the Perifit for about three weeks and I’ve already been recommending it for better organisms.
So here’s the scoop.
All you do is purchase the product here. Download the app. Connect your phone to Bluetooth. Relax. Insert the Perifit. Pick a training program. Then, imagine that your pelvis is a muscle like a jellyfish contracting and expanding as it swims.
Disclaimer: I love toys and gadgets in the bedroom and if your not comfortable sticking things up your woohoo then ummmm you might not like it, but for the adventurous ladies like me it’s nothing but a big tampon. It’s super soft, easy to insert (please clean first) and even has a string like one for easy removal.
Don’t worry if it’s awkward at first because the app will walk you through it and even has a few practice rounds that you can manually train before actually getting started. You’ll know your doing your kegals wrong because your Perifit will slide out. If it doesn’t slide out your doing it right and can begin playing once you feel comfortable.
In the game there’s about 5 levels to unlock, different themes and music to keep it interesting. You become a butterfly flying in the mountains collecting coins that look like lotus. To get the coins on the top of the screen you have to tighten your pelvic muscles. To get the coins on the bottom of the screen you want to release your grip and relax your muscle. It’s super simple.
My favorite feature on the app is that it tracks your progress. That’s super important to me because I want to know is it working and how much I’ve improved. I started with the stress incontinence and I’ve moved on to intimate well-being. I did notice a difference in where the coins were place and could tell each setting focused on different strengthening methods.
Once your done playing clean off your Perifit and put it back into the box. Just make sure to turn off the battery but in case you don’t remember the app will actually remind you even though it brags that it has a 10 year battery life. LOL. Woohoo to 10 years of no more leakage. It’s common but it’s not normal and we are going to stop normalizing it today.
It’s recommended that you play at least 5 minutes a day or at least 30 minutes a week. Trust me it seems like a lot but for competitive people like myself it’s fairly easy to exceed that. I find myself hitting the play again button a lot trying to beat my last score. Doing your kegals has so many benefits for women. The Perifit is a workout that doesn’t feel like a workout. That’s what makes it so great.
After reading this may your vagina be tighter and your pelvic floor be stronger. Do your kegals! Thank me later.
Self-love is the best love. If you don’t have a pamper routine I suggest you get one. As a busy mom with aspirations it’s important to pencil in self care. Treat yourself. You need to take care of your mental and physical self in order to thrive in motherhood and your career. A little “me time” is necessary. You need to create chill relaxing pamper days to balance the busy chaotic ones or else take it from me, you’ll go loco in la cabeza.
We moms play a big role in our family and have huge roles at work so whenever we can let our hair down without breaking the bank we must do it, and do it often! After all, all work and no play won’t make us any less richer. In fact, a little indulging in the simple pleasures of life give you the motivation to keep excelling in your career. It’s actually crucial for maintaining the marathon mindset.
Also, you don’t always need a lot of money to unwind after a long day or a stressful work week. Sometimes all you need is space and opportunity to put yourself first and relax.
From the comforts of your home to getting out and splurging on the finer things here are 10 ways you can pamper yourself.
10 Ways To Pamper Yourself:
2. Go to a fancy restaurant
3. Get a manicure/pedicure
4. Have a spa day
5. Watch your favorite TV show in peace
6. Take a day or two off of work
7. Go shopping
8. Have a cocktail
9. Get your hair done
10. Catch up on sleep
There are lots of benefits to pampering yourself. As a working mom the stress factors of working day in and day out can be a lot. Knowing when and how to unwind can improve your overall health. Taking a day or two to regroup and decompress will recharge you.
Being financially comfortable is one thing but at what cost to your peace, your love life and your happiness?! You definitely need to start treating yourself better. What if I told you that you could have it all (The bag and a life we don’t need a vacation from) but it starts with basic self care and then work your way up to pampering yourself because your worth spoiling momma. Plus, you deserve it. If not every two weeks at least once a month make it a habit to pamper yourself.
When your in alignment with your purpose the hustle is real and you can find yourself so focused and passionate about your success that you don’t realize until you’ve burned out that your burnt out. Don’t get me wrong busy is a good thing but after work and on the weekends you need to relax. Pampering yourself helps prevent that burn out.
What ways do you you pamper yourself when you get a chance to?
I often get the question what are you mixed with because of my skin color and I laugh. I always joke and say I’m mixed with black and more black. I may be lite skinned but I am black and beautiful. I find myself more often than not, afterwards educating other races in the magic of blackness. We come in all different shades and sizes thanks to the “EVE gene.”
The black women is the only organism that possesses the mitochondrial DNA that has all the variations possible for every kind of human being on this earth. Meaning when we mix with any race even our own you just never know what your going to get LOL it’s a surprise. A perfect example of this is when you see a dark skinned African American with blue eyes or a lite skinned African American with red hair like my honey bunny.
I may not look full black to some but I am and I am most definitely proud of my African roots. I Identify as African American, although I don’t know exactly where on the continent my people came from and I’m still extra proud of the impact my African descendants have made on American History. It’s a complex story of how we remain warriors despite all efforts to destroy our very well being or give us credit.
Our resilience is what I love the most about being Black. Black women are some of the strongest loving women I know. That has to be celebrated and is 365 days out the year in my house. I teach African American history daily but during Black History Month we show our pride in our heritage by enjoying African music, wearing loud and proud pro black shirts and learning more facts about our past by watching movies about African royalty or icons.
There’s so much more to our history then having been kidnapped and enslaved that I want to make sure my kids are taught because they aren’t teaching it in school curriculums. It’s sad to say but you’ll learn more from social media about black history than you were taught at school. Therefore, I get my kids to think about what Harriet Tubman went through and understand that Ruby Bridges was just a courageous little girl who made a difference, or how life would be way different if someone from our race hadn’t invented the carbon filament (the part of the light bulb that actually illuminates the light bulb) or the invention of the traffic light. Man, we’ve made some great contributions to mankind.
I also drive home the importance of loving yourself to my kids everyday by telling them they are beautiful, they are smart and they are perfect the way they are. I encourage them to love all their brothers and sisters in Christ but first and foremost themselves. To love their full lips, muscles, hair, complexion and race. As a race we’ve endured so much but had the strength to defeat it ALL! I love my black people. I love our resourcefulness. I love every inch of my blackness and I’m I stilling in my kids to have the same self-love.
Sometimes it’s disheartening the disconnect that Africans and African Americas aka Black people have from each other because we grew up different but the same. There is not black history without African history but because of slavery blacks are not as connected to Africa. I hope to one day to do my ancestry and see exactly where my bloodline comes from. I think that would fill in the gap. It would be cool to just know.
Black History Month to me is for non blacks to know black accomplishments and remind them of our contributions because they unfortunately don’t learn that in their homes or even school. They need to understand our pride, history and traditions. I want to see more people loving our people though and not just our culture. America has a huge case of everybody want to be black until it’s time to deal with black problems. That’s when we see how divided we as a country still is.
If your a black mom encourage your kid to be prideful of their culture and express it in various way beyond black history month to help bridge the gap between the past and the future. It’s our duty. To help us all heal and move on past the injustices. Growth is an uncomfortable process but it’s needed to bring change.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream and in my opinion we still have lots of work to do but with love and understanding there’s hope. Hope that black lives will eventually matter because all lives matter. It’s take a fair law system and all of us to create an atmosphere where we can all live peacefully.
I’m doing my part by hammering it into my kids to be kind no matter race, creed or sexual orientation because racism and ignorance starts at home. I refuse to be the parent that lets it perpetuate in my house. My kids will be the change I wish to see. Join me in the fight I against racism. Let’s be relentlessly.
I’m one of those raw parents. I keep it all the way real with my seeds because I really want them to see the magnitude of their gift of life. They are profoundly fortunate to have the life they live. They have learned by me that they stand on the shoulders of some pretty awesome brave individuals that fought for justice and equality so they can read, write and pursue their dreams. Mine carry the same strength, guts and audacity to influence. I’m raising tomorrow’s leaders. They are history in the making.