Category: Motivation Page 1 of 4

Racism. The Very Uncomfortable Conversation.

The current events are exhausting. We are living through a pandemic and a historical revolution. The fight for change is long over due. If you know your Black history you know that for over 600 years Black people have been oppressed. There has been no equality and every time we try to sustain our own wealth on our own there are massacres like Rosewood and Tulsa’s Black Wall Street street to knock us back down to square one.

Watch the videos and then imagine if we sought revenge.

In the midst of this chaos came #blackouttuesday and #amplifiedmelaninvoices where we as a united front protested online by only posting Black history, Black businesses and solutions to racism instead of the daily nonsense we post like food and selfies. We muted the background noise of everyday life and flooded timelines with the real issues. We found ally’s in our Black Lives Matter movement, we found silent racists, we gained knowledge of our hidden history and uplifted our voice to the degree that our traumatic experiences as a Black person in America taught non whites systematic racism. The uncomfortable conversation about racism has officially begun.

I saw a post this week of a picture of a white man holding a sign during a protest that said I’m sorry I didn’t see it before but I see it now. Deep. I’m so mad I didn’t think to screenshot it. I felt like this time was the perfect storm and what happens after a storm? A beautiful rainbow. So although, 2020 seems like some bullshit. For the very first time I feel like the gap between whites and blacks could possibly close one day, with the first step being acknowledgment.

No more being willfully naive.

If you read my last post Just A Friendly Reminder. Stop Killing Unarmed Black People I talked about how traumatic it is to be Black in America due to us being the most hated race. How we groom our kids to be on their p’s and q’s to not trigger BBQ Becky, or a racist police. We take their innocence away to prepare them for the sad truth that they will be treated differently all because of the color of their skin.

As a black women I used ALL my platforms to make this moment a teaching moment while they were muted and listening. They were learning so much because no one is taught black history is schools. Many whites lack understanding of how their ancestors oppressed Black people because America has select memory. They purposely only teach what they want you to know. They don’t want you to be aware that America has a not so pretty past and for their skeletons to come out the closet. Anything that has to do with it being in a negative light is skipped over because we’re suppose to be the land of the free. The irony.

I paid attention to all the businesses that I spend money with to see if they would speak in a time when it’s not the time to be silent. At this point as blacks we are demanding that that you love us as much as you love our culture. It’s cancel season on anyone who doesn’t hire or support my beautiful melanin kings and queens. We seek consequences for our fallen angels murders, we seek better leadership and new bills to be pass that don’t tear us down. There are peaceful protests, there are silent protest. Everyone is coming together to make the world a better place for everyone because once Blacks get equality it literally trickles down to every other ethnicity that comes from a foreign land.

The tremendous support our community is receiving is greatly appreciated and it’s became clear economically they see if we band together and shift our money these big companies can potentially lose millions. We have always had great buying power and we are understanding that our money unlike racism will always determine the level of our relationships with many. Since money talks and bullshit walks it’s hard to turn a blind eye to how important Blacks are and how much spending power we actually possess as consumers.

Going forward we are redirecting our money to Black businesses. This is a wonderful game changer. Now we realize we need to help out our own producers. We are not ok with just affirmative action. We deserve a shot to be at every table, if we bring something to the table. We won’t stop until everyone has a fair shot at the American Dream. So we are holding these companies accountable. They been doing the bare minimum and enough is enough. Today they are forced to pick aside to end racism. Our oppressors will be punished by us spending our money else where. This will teach them to not love money more than they love our lives.

The fact that these company’s now want to express solidarity seems a little fishy. Are the really really down with us or just trying to stay in trend and make sure our dollars stay pouring in. Seems a little to late (200 years and a few weeks to late). I’m more of a show and prove kinda girl. I need to see action. The only thing I do like about it is all the racists get to choke on the BLM movement right now. I know they pissed when all we’re doing is just trying to matter.

Letters of solidarity are everywhere now.

We can not say all lives matter until Black lives matter. I also want to make it very clear that because I or anyone else loves the way God made them doesn’t mean that I’m a racist hypocrite. I only threw that out there because I don’t want anyone testing me on this post. I can love myself and love my brothers and sisters in Christ at the same dam time. Oh, and for the “all inclusive types” this is for us and only us this time. White people have had their own space for a very long time, chill.

And stop bringing up Black on Black crime because that doesn’t happen because of racism. In every race there is more crime committed against each other because that’s who you are around majority of the time. The fact is crime is committed by every race. Every time I hear Black on by crime being brought up my skin boils because police brutality and systematic racism is the issue. We know Black on Black crime exists and can agree that it’s not right but stop justifying injustices against Black people due to a problem that’s in everyone’s race. That’s not an excuse to make it ok. It’s not ok when we do it to each other let alone to anyone else, but especially not when it’s by the people that are appointed to protect and serve the community at large but fall short for one specific demographic.

Racism is not getting worst, it’s getting filmed.” – Will Smith

America was built on the backs of Blacks and systematic oppression. All of that stops with this generation. Black Americans are arrested 2xs more often than white Americans because of racial profiling. Then when we are arrested we are more likely to be murdered. This is nothing new to us. We as Black people never forget how under valued we are and have always been troubled by this. We’ve been asking why since we could remember. It’s only a conversation now because there’s nothing else to distract white people from seeing it. Where as before it wasn’t filmed.

They can not turn a blind eye anymore. It’s not something we made up in our mind. It’s something we experience on a daily they don’t want to imagine what their life would be on the side nor do I blame them. They are deciding not to be quiet anymore and our standing with us and fighting for change. They took this time to be educated on white privilege and choosing to not be naive, mindless sheep. They are educating their children now and we are not alone anymore. They realize racism is wrong and want to make America great for the very first time ever.

George Floyd’s murder was merely the straw the broke the camel back. Him and many others like him were not just casualties in war but the catalyst to change. May they all rest in power because they didn’t die in vain. Our voices have become powerful. We know what and who we are, and will be dammed to continue on they way life has been for centuries. We are writing our history to give the young kings and queens a better future because they deserve an even playing ground. We now have the hope Obama was talking about years ago and one day we will make Martin Luther Kings Jr’s dream a reality.

#Moreequality

#Moreacceptance

#Morelove

#Endracism

Just A Friendly Reminder Stop Killing Unarmed Black People

Why I can’t breathe.

I’m still waiting for America to be great. It seems like every time we take one step forward we take 3 steps back. Being Black in America is sad and exhausting. I can’t even breathe. We are the only race that will support every other race but we are never protected. All our civil liberties come with conditions. We have to think twice about walking at night with a hoodie on and even taking a normal jog in our neighborhood can be a risk. In 2020, being black af is still a crime. We are still walking targets.

I’m a mother of 2 black boys who will grow up to be two Black men. It’s sad that I have to even insert that because I feel like I shouldn’t have to state the obvious. Yet I do because I know the difference and they will soon know too. Truth is being a Black man is traumatizing and I have to prepare them for that. How many white moms can say they have to prepare their kids for possible police brutality, modern day lynching, and senseless gun violence? I’ll wait.

Each culture has it’s own set of trauma that nobody truly understand but them. I get it but what I don’t get is when other races see injustices and they remain silent. They become part of the problem. At the end of the day right is right and wrong is wrong. I can’t just sit there and let people treat other human beings wrong. I have to much empathy in me to turn a blind eye, to not speak out or reach out. My first reaction is to help. I’ll never understand how some merely watch and record.

I find myself wondering why the hell Black people are expected to be the bigger person each and every time there is a conflict? I don’t always want to. I’m demanding my respect from now on because I deserve it in the same way other races can. Black people have feelings too. We want to express ourselves. We want to barbecue at the park. Sell water to the thirsty. Not have our house raided when we have done absolutely nothing. We would love to be prosecuted by the dew process of the law and not corrupt cops or over eager vigilantes. Or better yet when we say we can’t breathe be believed. I mean dam why is that to much to ask for. Black lives need to matter.

How is it that when a Black person is murdered wrongfully and all evidence points to foul play the verdict 9 times out of 10 is not guilty? Then you get people like Mike Vick who got more time than all the police officers who have killed 493 unarmed Black men for killing a dog. I need some one to make that make sense because I can’t. How is a dogs life more precious than the Black man? That’s how undervalued they are and I’m sick of it.

I’m sick of hearing disgusting stories of people robbed of their loved ones way to soon. I’m tired of it hitting home. I’m over being expected to get over it because I’m not. As of today we are all tired of being oppressed. We are not taking injustice anymore. We our fighting for a change. Violence or not I’m here for it since they killing us anyways.

If only all the Karen’s of the world would stay out of people’s business and move along with their day without being assholes. I just recently experienced a white male following me to my house to question me about my toddlers trash. The nerve of this man to see me in distress carrying two hands full of groceries and trying to keep my eye on my toddler from running in the parking lots full of cars. As I’m struggling with all my bags because I didn’t want to make two trips he approaches me and asked me if I was going to pick up my child’s trash instead of being concerned for my 1 year who could of got hit by a car.

I will never understand why he felt the need to harass me and proceed to tell me I was ghetto because I said no. I didn’t feel like that trash was important at that time. My Black child’s safety was my top priority but he could give two shits though. He’d rather be arrogant and ignorant. He didn’t try to empathize with me. He didn’t attempt to help me. Instead, he startled me and decided to go off on me and rattle on about my life because I didn’t care about what he cared about at that exact moment.

He doesn’t know my life. I never been raised in the ghetto ever. He just made an assumption to fit his narrative and I think it’s fucked up that he felt he could talk to me in that manner because I’m a Black women and I was alone. Mind you it was me and my two youngest kids. I raised my voice and said good day sir, God bless you but what if I would have met him with aggression? He for sure would have played the victim even though he came over to me. Meanwhile, if my son dropping his soda as his 11 year old sister picked him up to protect him from harms way bothered him so bad he could have picked up the cup his dam self. He saw me with my hands full carrying tons of groceries but he didn’t think twice about confronting me. Black people encounter these types all the the time. It’s so exhausting.

The worst part about the situation is he didn’t see nothing wrong in any of his actions. He was so fixated on being right that he didn’t care that he scared me and my children, violated my space and disrespected me for no reason. He was on a power trip. He obviously felt like I was beneath him and he tried to make me feel less than but what he didn’t expect was my courage. I stood up to him. He’s a human being like I’m a human being. He’s no better or no different and I’m not going to be afraid to put anyone in their place ever. They gone learn today, the day after, and the day after that.

I’m very proud to be Black. I love all my blackness and my dope Black ancestors that came before me. I don’t need Becky to see that my hair is beautiful in it’s natural state. I never needed validation. I was taught by a beautiful Black queen to love myself. I’m training up my sons to carry themselves as kings and my daughter to be a queen in training. I teach them to be kind and tell them everyday they are special. I just want all the peace in the world and I pray that all the warriors on the front line in the battle for equality fight on. I’m making phone calls daily and posting on all my platforms so I can make a difference.

Colin Kapernick lost his whole career for peacefully protesting. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered for his peaceful activism. It feels like our sins have greater consequences. No sin is different, we all sin and long as you repent to God you shall be forgiven. I’m tired of my people suffering at the hand of our oppressors that manipulate the laws as they see fit. I want justice, equality and peace. I want to be able to live this America dream I hear about so much. In present day there is still White America. They get to be heard. Blacks have a voice but we are rarely taken serious I hate to say it but it seems like we have to be loud with our protest and riot or loot in reaction to the fact that unarmed Blacks keep getting killed to get our pain acknowledged.

“Riot is the language of the unheard.”-Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr.

It makes me infuriated that white people don’t understand that systematically they have white privilege and because of it they don’t have the same type of fears I face as a Black mom when I send my children out into this racist world. We come along way but we still have lots of work to do because the world still isn’t fair for Black people. This whole country can burn down for all I care if I have to continue to be free-ish.

I’m tired of my children, my beautiful Black babies being labeled and prejudged. I hate that the images of my Black brothers and sisters always is a negative narrative. I feel as if no matter how much good we do we are the most hated community. The media only shines light on the bad. When the shit hits the fan here comes the media. We’ve been angry but now that people are protesting and looting now they wanna focus on that instead they need to understand why we got to where we are. America is America because we built it for free. Let that sink in. At this point it’s time for the rest of the world to fight and mourn with us if they want it to stop.

I refuse to accept this treatment. I am not numb to senseless killings in my community. It has become normal but it’s not right. It still is a fresh wound that never heals. I cry every time I hear the names of Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland. Philando Castile and now George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmad Arbery. I can and will not move on after a trial of another shady cop because at the end of the day another one of us is dead. The killer ends up loosing his job but I don’t see justice in that. I want to see convictions!

We’re in a got dam pandemic and it’s still happening. We’re fighting back because we have to. Our Black lives depend on it. We have to take action until people are held responsible. For anyone valuing buildings over people your racism is showing. For anyone silent during these pivotal times just know that your silence speaks volumes. To all my non Blacks down for the cause and are mourning and actively fighting to end racism with us we appreciate you.

If your a mom and your not Black what are you doing to make sure that your children don’t shoot unarmed Blacks or don’t make false police reports? I’m curious.

#Peaceafterrevolution

#Freeish

#Blacklivesmatter

#Iamwithyou

#Nojusticenopeace

My Quarantine Wedding

With all the unfortunate things going on in the world today I’m still happy. I choose to focus on the positive. Instead I want to remember how lucky I am. The world is shut down but our love continues on. We’ve faced a lot of adversity in our relationship who would have thought the Coronavirus would be another one of them.

Imagine planning this huge wedding and then a pandemic strikes. My heart goes out to every bride in my same position right now. It feels like someone just rained on your fucking parade because they kinda did. You’ve proposed to your bridesmaids you even had your engagement party and right before you were set to send out save the dates you hold back because what if you have planned your day to a tee with all the bells and whistles for nothing. For coronavirus to be impacting your wedding due to social distancing and social gathering restrictions which may cause you to either cancel or postpone.

In my case, after I’ve pressed the line on a few people who had felt the need to comment on how big I wanted my wedding to be because they felt like it was a waste of money. Now I’ll never understand why people get into other people’s finances but to each their own. Like how is me spending MY money on MY wedding any of anyone else concern (MY WEDDING, MY WAY). It seems like a no brainer that if it’s not your business it’s not your problem but I learned early on in the wedding planning process other people most definitely have no comprehension of mind the business that pays you. I had to tell a few people not so nicely that I deserve to have the best wedding day ever and if they are worried about the cost instead of my happiness they definitely could help cut costs by not attending-and I meant that. Had it all been in vain? LOL.

Just recently I made my mind up I’m keeping my wedding date. I was unmotivated to plan during this pandemic because I didn’t want to get my hopes up on my big dream wedding but I’ve decided the Covid is not stopping nothing, especially my marriage. I plan to still be a 2020 bride no matter what. I saw a fly ass wedding in New York on Instagram last week and we decided that we don’t want to wait for the corona to be over to be married.

Even if no one could be in attendance I’d still choose love, sex & stability foreva with my hubby to be today, tomorrow or any day of the week for that matter. The dress code may be a little different and I might have to get more creative but we gone move full steam ahead.

My wedding day might look a lot different than I planned but I will cherish it forever. If your a bride to be during quarantine check out @elainewelteroth and her fabulous stoop wedding. #Inspired

I will have a wedding on my wedding date during this pandemic even if it’s only just us. We deserve it. I can postpone my wedding reception to 2021 if I have to but I will not cancel my wedding. Love will win this time. In the midst of the unknown we always know we have each other and despite this absolutely heartbreaking moment for my fairytale wedding. The emotional stress I felt with every CDC update on gathering restrictions and traveling. Getting frustrated is an understatement. I’ve cried. I’ve grieved. Now that I released my anger I can embrace the endless wonderful possibilities.

All my 2020 brides I know you felt that!

If we’re still social distancing we will respect that because ultimately we love our family and want them all to be safe but if the coast is clear ya’ll already know we are partying accordingly. It will be lit af. Shit, we waited over a decade for this moment to align together as one and be absolutely sure(with no doubts) this is what we want. No state of crisis could convince us otherwise. It’s us until death do us part.

We can’t wait to celebrate for all the ups and downs we faced, mountains we climbed together, fears we’ve conquered, communication we mastered, trust we’ve build, and bond that remains unbreakable after everything we went through that was meant to break us and most importantly the principle in which we base our whole entire lives on FAMILY OVER EVERYTHING and God before all of that. 2020 will still be our biggest adventure. Periodt.

Cookies by @knotandbird

I welcome change but I rebuke negativity. I refuse to let Covid 19 steal our joyous day. My day my be WAY way different than how I originally planned but it will still be how I imagined, beautiful and perfect because the love we have for each other is real. It’s unconditionally and can’t be controlled. Fuck Corona! Love wins again…

If your a bride right now feel free to reach out to me. I’d love to hear from you.

#Maskon

#Myquarantinewedding

#Lovewins

#Relationshipgoals

#Lovegoals

#2020bridetobe

Go Ahead Start That Business, Sis!

Yeah, the CoronaVirus is rocking the world but don’t let anything outside of you stop you from starting your business even if you only have $100. Don’t over think it to much. Just do it. Do your research. Make sure your not getting scammed. Make sure your vendors are reliable. Do what you can with what you have. Go ahead and start that business,sis.

Scared money don’t make no money!

Figure out what your passionate about. Not just what you think will sell but something you like doing. I personally watched a bunch of Youtube videos from girls who had started a lash line and were giving do’s and don’t tips, talking about things they wish they knew before starting, essentials of what to buy and topics that I felt I wanted to know before I decided moving forward and getting samples of lashes.

You can start a business with little money or no money. Even if you don’t have the money now get quotes so you know how much you need to get and then start putting your plan in motion by giving yourself a timeline of dates you want certain things accomplished by. For instance, on such and such date have vendor picked. Start putting clothes on offer up to sale to make money. Maybe even tighten up your budget so you can save more, Uber, Postmates, babysit, or recycle. Just do what you got to do to get them coins up so you can stack it up and get your business started.

“God wouldn’t have put the dream in your heart if he hadn’t given you the tools to fulfill it”

If you have money and are scared listen, let me tell you, just sitting on money and not investing it it’s not doing anything for you. You might as well spend it on starting that business you always dreamt of. All you have to do is get over your fear and make that one bold move that will change your life forever. Spend that money and double up, sis. You won’t regret it. Now that you decided in your head it’s time to get your girl boss on. It’s time to get to business.

Tip: Get you a pen and a notebook for all your ideas. Write down everything! Start making a checklist of things you need to do before your launch date.

How to find a vendor.

There’s so many vendors out there. Use google search engine. That’s what it’s for. I was up all night looking for vendors. There are lots of vendors to choose on Alibaba. I found mine there. I won’t give you my vendor list because I don’t believe in giving out handouts but I will always give you the websites that I use. Look up what whatever your looking for on Alibaba. There are lots of vendors to pick from. If you complaining about having to many options then maybe starting a business is not for you. Table the idea until you are really ready. If you ready today decide based on your budget. Your budget realistically is what you can afford.

Tip: In the beginning you really don’t need nothing to expensive. After you’ve made your money back each go around then you can upgrade as you go. Other than that do go crazy getting the most expensive storage organizers and notebooks. Dollar tree items are fine. No ones going to see them but you anyways.

Most vendors have a minimum order. When you buy in bulk shipping in handling international cost a lot so be prepared to pay even more than what you would if your just buying samples. I only do payments through Alibaba.com or Paypal just to be on the safe side. Before ordering ask how long does shipping take. Once you’ve place your order check in every so often for updates but don’t be a bugaboo.

Handle your business before your business handles you.

You don’t have to get an LLC right away. Trademarking and registering your business is expensive make sure you are satisfied with your business name, your logo and whatever business you have for a while first to make sure you still even want to stay in business. Some people stop and start a few businesses before they find their niche and that’s ok. If you want to be an entrepreneur you’ll experience some losses but all I’m going to say is don’t let that stop your entrepreneurial journey.

If your on fire and are producing lots of hot content I suggest you do get a LLC right away. I’m a newcomer but I try to be knowledgeable and I’ve hear to many stories of people jacking your whole name, color scheme or idea. People can be ruthless. So if this is something your worried about trademark your business first before your business takes off.

You know I believe in manifestation and since we trying to be a fortunate 500 company we gone handle our business and operate like one. Just do your research so that you get the right documents filed to protect your business.

Tip: If you have money hire a lawyer instead of doing it yourself. Either way make sure this process is done. It may take a while but it’s not that hard.

Branding for dummy’s.

Be creative. Don’t be basic. Make your product standout more than the next one. From your packaging, social media posts, hashtags, and promo videos be intentional. Use watermarks. Put your brand on everything. Blast it. Drill it in your customers head and be consistent but please don’t copy because other brands. People will think your not authentic or worst a scammer. People buy from people who the feel they can trust. If they don’t trust you, you just lost out on some money.

Remember your brand is a representation of you. Get inspiration from others but don’t copy. Be your genuine self because it makes a difference. It makes you unique. Plus can’t nobody do you like you. You are YOU and that’s your superpower. You can copy someone else’s sauce all day long but the sauce not going to taste the same. That because they put their swagger on it so you do that with your baby (your business). That’s why I don’t even look at what the competition is doing. I just focus on my business.

Unless you work for yourself there is no such thing as job security.

Don’t get discouraged.

Being a entrepreneur is hard. Truth is things will go wrong. You’ll feel stuck. Whether you have a small following or not keep hustling. Keep posting because when you want something in life you gotta go get it. Stick to your plan and eventually you’ll see the sells start coming. Just keep building your brand. You may at first think no ones watching or paying attention don’t you be foolish they are definitely watching. They going to take about you and even may talk bad about you but keep doing you. How many times do you think about buying something before you actually by it? This is exactly why company’s have wishlists.

I strongly recommend setting up your website so your product is accessible to the world. I spend $25 and made my own website on Wix and I told myself at my one year anniversary I’ll revamp my site and pay someone to do it. As for now I’m on budget and since I’m a little tech savvy I went that route. Websites are important but also do pop up shops, use brand ambassadors, get your friends to help repost your promos and get your brand out there and make sells from dm’s. There’s millions of people you can reach and get your products in the hand of no matter how saturated any field is. Don’t be discouraged.

Make sure your put your stimulus check to good use.

I just wanted to help and encourage you, sis. Push yourself, get those negative thoughts out your mind and speak positivity into your business. Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you can do. If you need any advice or motivation I’m here. I’m not 100% where I want to be but I know I’ll get there. I’m really excited about my business. If your not following me follow me on Instagram @Bossmommyblog and @Moodybabelashes . Check me out!

I hope this blog post was informative. I hope you like it and I hope you start your business soon. Hurry up and get you an Instagram. What are you waiting for.

#Starterbusiness

#Stimuluscheck

#Research

#Businesstips

#Momentrepreneur

#Startingyourownbusiness

Your Never To Old To Learn 5 Tips To Improve Your Communication

Don’t be misunderstood again. Learn tips to improve your communication and your relationships with friends, family and co workers. Better communication helps problem solve conflict so there’s less fighting and more time for enjoying the now especially during this pandemic where we are spending even more time with our significant others just chilling in the house.

I keep joking that during this quarantine I absolutely know my fiancé and are ready for marriage because we haven’t killed each other yet. LOL. In the workplace good communication builds trust amongst you and your coworkers. It will also get you in places your resume may not take you and if done right will effectively get you the amazing career you’ve being wanting.

You are your biggest investment! Sometimes as women we trick ourselves into thinking we are not enough but we are. Stop self limiting your self. Be the boss of your life. You can do it even if it’s hard. 2020 is not over yet the world will revert back to what it was. In the meantime, keep self focusing and learn something new.

These 5 simple tips will help you talk to anyone.

1. Improve your grammar and vocabulary.

This is super important if you like to communicate via email or text. Your choice of words set a tone in conversations. Lately, I’ve been I guess you can say fascinated by language. You’ll be surprised how your choice of words can mean something different to different people. Shit, even writing in all capital letters can be taken the wrong way.

Quick story, I was organizing a surprise party and left cap lock on and later found out that out of all the people I sent the message to one girl was offended. She said that she felt I was yelling at her. You see how something so small can turn out not the way you intended, even just changing font can make a difference. For instance, instead of saying sorry I messed up try I’ll fix that now. The power of words really can shift dialogue in a positive or negative direction.

Bad grammar will often make who ever is reading what you write assume you don’t care, are unprofessional or disrespectful. The fact that it leads room for assumptions is the main reason it needs to be corrected so your not misinterpreted. To many grammatical errors make it hard for readers to comprehend what your meaning. By improving your grammar you’ll be clearly understood.

2. Organize your ideas

Be clear about what you want to accomplish when having any conversation. Sticking to the subject and not rambling will help drive your intent home. If you tend to venture off subject by simply organizing your thoughts on paper it will help you stay on track. I particularly use the the summary hand method to organize my thoughts before speaking and writing.

Things that cause us to dance around our feelings is the fact that sometimes we want more and feel ashamed. Crazy right? We feel bad that things aren’t working but we need to learn that by not speaking up that fear is what causes us not to get what we want out of life.

You shouldn’t feel ashamed that you realize your mission in life doesn’t align with someone or a company your working for. It’s ok to want more connection, like mindedness, and shared value or vision of the future. Don’t stay stagnant somewhere if you want more for your future. You can’t change anybody by loving harder or trying harder but you can change you. Letting go is hard, but so is staying.

3. Make eye contact

It’s important to make good eye contact while your talking because it shows that your listening to the other person and that builds trust.

Tip: The secret to making non awkward eye contact is to relax.

4. Make sure your message matches your delivery

There’s a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertive is when your direct, calm and respectful. While aggressive is unhealthy communication that is rude, loud and even threatening. Being arrogant is also not effective when trying to be heard. It is the worst.

Remember that your on the same team and working together to solve a conflict. No you vs me conversations should take place but more so you and I versus whatever the issue is. I also recommend to be calm and genuine. Don’t speak with to much emotion. When people feel like you are genuinely trying to help them they will receive you better.

5. Practice (makes progress)

Hard things are always hard to do but if your thoughtful and at least make an attempt to improve your communication chances are your efforts will help resolve conflict. As always assume positive intent and don’t expect everything to magically change over night.

You’ll know your communication was successful when your intended message is received. By speaking/writing well, organizing your thoughts, making good eye contact, paying attention to your delivery and practicing before you know it you’ll be able to better communicate work tasks, answer questions, give information and participate in meetings. Good communication is very effective in all areas of your life and lack of good communication can ruin a lot of good shit that you probably could have worked through if you already knew these tips.

In a world full of cultures and languages how do you try not to have communication breakdowns?

#Tips

#Communication

#Ambitiononfleek

#Entrepreneur

Quarantine And Read: Books That Will Change Your Life

If your one of the non-Essential workers and are not clocking in to your 9-5 these days quarantine and read a book. In my free time I’ve replaced music with audiobooks and it has changed my life. I’ve always loved to read. I was raised by a reader. My mom has worked at the library for as long as I can remember. She always brought home books that were no longer in circulation and sparked my interest in reading.

A little fun fact about me is that I even thought one day I’d follow in her footsteps and my very first job was working at the public library when I was in high school. It was there that I fell even more in love with reading and realized how helpful books were. They can take you to a far away place, feed your imagination, help you decompress or feed your mind.

I remember obsessing over baby sitters club books. I even like biographies and non fiction and later had an erotic books phase in high school because back then that’s when Zane was poppin’. In college I dived into self help books. I realized while soul searching that books could be more beneficial than just for entertainment or researching information for an assignment. Everything you want to learn, change or become can be taught from reading a book. Authors dedicate their whole lives to giving up meaningful helpful guides that you can take something from just by reading inside the pages of a book.

As I got older I still enjoyed books but finding the time to read while taking care of my kids got in the way of my busy life that was until I learned about Audible an audiobook app. I love the feel of a book, turning pages and even using my little bookmarks but audiobooks have been the solution to being able to make time to discover new things. Instead of you reading, someone is reading the book to you.


You can listen almost anywhere while your doing chores, in the car, exercising, and running errands. It’s made it easier for me to do the things I need to get done and still make time to learn on the go and at my own pace. We all know life is a series of obstacle preventing you from reading a book but with all this free time on your hands why not quarantine and feed your brain.

Here’s a list of some good reads.

*Your a Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

*48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

*Contagious: Why Things Catch On by Jonah Berger

*The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

*Three Magic Words: Key to Power, Peace and Plenty by Uell Stanley Anderson

*The Spook Who Sat At The Door by Sam Greenlee

*The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir

*The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

*The Science if Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles

*There are no short cuts to e-commerce except these by Chris Zoe

Whether your lonely, need uplifting, help with a relationship or need to find the courage inside of yourself to live the life you dream there’s a book for you that will make you feel like your not alone. When you read you feel connected to a character, a common pain, a goal, a journey or pleasure that has the power to solve your problems. By taking what you’ve learned and applying it to your life you can help yourself but they only work if you do the actual work. Remember before you’re a leader success is about growing yourself.

Which book do you want to read first? And why?

#Quarantinelife

#Quarantineandchill

#Booklover

#Selfhelp

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