Category: Motivation Page 2 of 3

Dear Fathers, No Excuses For These Little Ones Happiness.

A lot of men and women didn’t get the experience of having a wonderful father. It’s time to break that generational curse and change that. Dear fathers, promise your unborn children that as a man you’ll step up and be the loving father they deserve no matter what circumstances surrounded them coming into this world. Once you have a child it’s no longer about you. It becomes all about your little ones happiness. No excuses.

I’m only discussing you men because the saying mommas baby, daddy’s maybe is pure facts. I know plenty of single moms and countless kids whose fathers are not in the picture like they should be for many reasons, but at the end of the day there’s no excuse that will validate any father not being in his kids life. How could you not take one look at your kid and not want to make better choices?

I despise when fathers blame their kids mother for not being around. If your child’s mother is playing games and using your kid as a pawn exercise your rights, take them to court! Stop letting that be the reason you don’t see your kids. Put them in a position to where they have to give you visitations or they will get in trouble by the law. Get a coparenting plan in action and raise your kid.

Involved fathers are irreplaceable.

Trust me there’s no way in hell someone could tell me I can’t see my child without me jumping through hoops to change that. If it’s important to you you’ll figure it out and make it work. You don’t have to prove to your kids mom you deserve to be in your kids life if your doing the right thing and being consistent in their lives, helping do your part financially and being emotionally supportive to your child. Your need to show your kid that you love them unconditionally and will always put them first with your actions.

I am product of a broken home. My parents didn’t communicate well and that left gaps in my childhood where I didn’t see my real father for sometimes years. Looking back I fault both of my parents for not figuring out how to get along for my sake but I respect my mom more for never allowing me to miss a beat and for never leaving me since my dad went ghost. As an adult I have chosen to forgive him for my own healing process but I haven’t forgot how it made me feel to be abandoned and have to learn to cope. At the end of the day I was an innocent child and he could have had a relationship with me if he chose to fight for one.

While he was MIA my mom worked her butt off and never received a dime in child support because of her pride. I don’t think it’s fair that she carried the weight of parenthood by herself but I’m a different kind of women. We go half on a baby we go half on everything! Periodt. She took the loss like a G she kept it moving and found me a wonderful stepdad.

Before then, she probably didn’t notice how her stress from being a single parent affected me but it did. She was easily angered and quick to yell at me and tear me down because deep down she was frustrated and even hurt that she got herself into raising a kid by herself. Being a mom now, I understand how hard it must have been physically and mentally. I know her journey was an uphill battle but she did it and I’m proud to call her my mom.

So while I write this I sit back and think about how many of kids like me were birthed into confusion. Into some straight up mess. Yet, how many daddies will apologize or make it better so that the next generation doesn’t make the same mistakes?

I know a guy whose child’s mother was being childish and bitter about their breakup and jumped state. He was a active parent not a seasonal dad only coming around when he wanted to or when the holiday came but a good dad. Always present and took pride in his relationship with his daughter so not seeing her regularly pissed him off. He didn’t just take the move lightly. He sought action.

He played chess. She moved states he moved in that same state and called his kids mother one day and was like “hey, I’m your new neighbor.” Take that! Although, he probably was a terrible lover to her that didn’t change the fact that he was a great dad who was willing to make those adjustments to be apart of his child’s life even if that meant moving to a unfamiliar state. His daughter was that important. I can only imagine how loved that made her feel.

He didn’t even try to be with her mother either. Shit didn’t change as far as their relationship. That ship had sailed and it was over for them but he wasn’t going to just let her destroy his relationship with his daughter. He made it a point to make a big statement and let it be known to her that she could never take their child from him. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that no matter what she did to him it ultimately impacted their daughter. She wasn’t just hurting him but her child too and she left him alone and let him be a dad.

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

I see to many strong women playing both roles because daddy was a buster and doesn’t want to take care of his responsibilities. Yup, I’m name calling. No stand up guy would ever be an absent dad. I think it’s disgusting and unacceptable. I look down on deadbeat parents because no matter how well a mom is doing as a mom she can never replace the void of having a dad. So if you have a kids father that’s trying appreciate him even if his shit isn’t all the way together. Let him have a relationship with your kid/s.

Dads are so important. They can do so much for their child by being in their lives. Their support matters. Every father is suppose to be their daughters first love and their son’s first hero not their first heartbreak. It’s sad but absent fathers is a crisis all races face. It’s not just a black thing. You can watch teen mom and young and pregnant and see how many communities are affected by it. So many children are missing out on the positive affects of having an active dad in their life.

It doesn’t matter if your single, divorced, or widowed when dad’s not around it impacts a child’s development. From their self esteem to how they project their feelings, how they excel in school, to even how they treat others or allow others to treat them. It all plays a role in how they turn out. Some kids don’t miss what they never had while others don’t value themselves enough because they feel like they aren’t valuable since their own dad didn’t stick around for them. Thus, leading to anger and a lot of times depression.

We need fathers in the home but first and foremost we need dads to be present. Juggling babies, work, relationships and life is hard for mothers to do alone. Moms need emotional support. They need physical help. They need financial help. They didn’t make these kids by themselves and they shouldn’t be the only ones making sacrifices to take care of y’all children. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to that women or that child.

A dad is a pillar of strength and support.

Daddy issues are real. Kids without dads face higher risks of homelessness, dropping out of school and even suicide. It’s that real. When dads are involved kids are more likely to excel in school, not go to jail, and more likely to go to college because they have a sense of well being and confidence. Dads set the foundation for a child. His presence gives a child security and stability when he’s loving, affectionate, patient, protective, encouraging, hardworking, disciplines and is fun to be around. And the most important thing that makes them a great dad and good influence is when they respect their kids mother.

Shoutout to you super dads that are in your kids lives and making a lifelong impact by being an active parent. You could have ran from your responsibilities but you stepped up as a man and because of you your kids are loved by both parents. They have a healthy male role model. They have an amazing dad that they can always count on. That connection is vital. It leads to happier kids.

God bless all the good father’s!

#dadsareimportant

#nodeadbeats

#childrenareourfuture

#breakinggenerationalcurses

You Deserve A Spa Day At Glen Ivy Hot Springs

Are you a busy mom who focuses entirely on your families wants and needs? I get it I’m the same way. I just recently learned how important it is to keep yourself up after childbirth. Please mommy, don’t forget about YOU. Do something for yourself. You deserve a spa day to get your groove back. You deserve a spa day at Glen Ivy Hot Springs because taking the time to relax and unwind is good for your health, and will make you a better mom, wife, co worker and friend.

Glen Ivy Hot Springs is my favorite Southern California spa. The tiny oasis located in Corona, Ca off the 15 freeway makes wellness fun. Glen Ivy is known as one of America’s top spas that’s been around for 157 years and was even awarded Best Luxury Mineral Spring Spa in 2017. It offers such a calming environment for you to destress and recharge. I high recommend this spa and literally take everyone I know there.

Tip: The spa services are pricey but totally worth every penny.

I was first introduced to the spa life maybe 5 years ago through Glen Ivy and have been hooked every since. The Glen Ivy experience is like no other. The beautiful resort offers water aerobics, yoga, has two out door saunas, a steam room, and has 19 different swimming pools. From May to October they are open in the evening. They call it twilight hours which is pretty cool and it’s priced a little cheaper.

Taking a dip in one of the many pools.

Sometimes it can get really packed on the weekends, especially during the summer. I came once on Mother’s Day and it was crowded so holidays too. Luckily, we rented a private cabana that time and didn’t have to worry about seating. On most days there are plenty of loungers but if your worried about having a designated location to lounge I recommend renting a lounge chair or a cabana. I’ve done both and my favorite experience was when I came with a large group and we rented a cabana. I believe as long as you have at least two people you can rent them. It definitely will give you peace from the crowd and the VIP experience if your looking for one.

Grab a floating device and just chill. You deserve it.

Spa means health by water. There are many benefits the spa provides for your body and soul. From the salt water pools easing joint pain/cramps, inflammation, and soften your skin to hot and cold pools boosting your blood flow and flushing out toxins. Facials deep clean your pores and make your skin glow. The body treatments help your body recover from the daily stresses you constantly put it through. While other treatments like aromatherapy are known to promote better sleep, reduce mental stress and prevent depression.

What’s unique about Glen Ivy is that the as long as your 16 and older with an adult you can enjoy Glen Ivy. It offers something here for everyone. You can purchase “The Taking The Waters” admission and take advantage of the healing mineral waters, eat fresh healthy food, shop their exclusive boutique, catch up with your girls around the pool, reconnect and enjoy drinks with your bae with out getting any spa services. There are 3 types of admission and endless possibilities how you can relax your soul. All the above are great ways to spend your day though.

Getting some much needed R&R.

Tip: If it’s your birthday admission is free with your purchase of a 50 minute spa service.

I personally like to take advantage of Club Mud, The Grotto and The Ivy Kitchen. The clay from Club Mud will detoxify you and exfoliate your skin. I swear my skin has never felt softer. It’s also a fun experience too because it’s the only time you can get dirty as an adult and it’s ok. LOL. And don’t worry about getting clean after putting clay all over your body and even your face because Glen Ivy provides eucalyptus scented soap in their showers inside Club Mud. The soap smells so good and helps relax you while you rinse clay away from all the crevices it manages to get to.

Just in Club Mud getting dirty.

The Grotto is a full body moisturizing treatment. They put on a body mask, you hit the steam room and rinse. You’ll love it. The availability for this services books up quick so it’s best to book ahead a time. Now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. My go to food item is the nachos. They are big enough for multiple people to share and they are finger licking good. They never disappoint. I wish I could say more about the food but I usually eat before I come since I have to drive a pretty long way to get here. I do know that they serve everything from smoothies, snack to gourmet dishes to feed your hunger.

My go to the infamous nachos. Soooo good!

To me going to the spa helps me mentally and physically feel better. It’s no longer a luxury but a necessity. I’m always running around and this is how I decompress. I used to be nervous about spas because I thought you had to get naked and I just wasn’t confident enough to go. When I discovered Glen Ivy it was the best alternative for me because you dress like your going to the beach. Now I’ve worked my way up to not being afraid to get naked at other spas. I have lots of body confidence these days and I enjoy a nice rub down. I’m such a spa snob now. Hahaha. There’s no going back!

Relaxed and spirit refreshed.

Glen Ivy is an excellent way to celebrate a special occasion or gift someone you love to a day of relaxation. You can even purchase a membership. Club 1860 has different tiers you can join to customize the type of experience and discounted services you prefer while allowing you to affordably make health by water a part of your lifestyle.

Tip: The price of your admission goes down when you purchase a spa treatment.

If you’re a mom to be, never fear you can still come and get pampered after your first trimester. Pregnant moms can take advantage of the New Mum Massage. Just make sure you speak to your OBGYN and make sure whatever service you plan on getting is safe for your pregnancy. If it’s not recommended for you, you can always enjoy a nail service. Side note: if you recently just had a baby and are pumping they have a breastfeeding room for you to use.

I like to be handsfree as much as possible so I keep my debit card on file. That way if I want to purchase anything all I have to do is give my name and number. Then, I go by the bar at the Ivy Kitchen and scan my Id. In doing so I get a wristband and can purchase drinks without having to carry my ID. Also, don’t worry about paying for a locker. It’s free and they are located inside the Bath House.

Don’t cheat yourself, treat yourself in the most luxurious way.

For men they have customized experiences to met any of their needs. Whether they want to groom their beard or get their very first pedicure they can get pampered too. I actually think Glen Ivy is a awesome date idea. I see a lot couples drinking and enjoying the resort when I go. Matter of fact, I keep telling my man I’m going to take him. I really need to, but it just hasn’t happened yet. I think he’d love a couples massage. I actually just got a great idea. I’ll make that part of his Christmas gift since it’s right around the corner. When we go I promise I’ll write a post about it. I’m sure it will be a different experience.


Locker room selfie.

Just so you know towels and water are scattered throughout the entire resort. Stay hydrated my friends. It’s important to drink lots of water during your visit because lots of toxins are released and water helps flush them out. Plus, it’s located in the valley and the temperatures can get really hot.


To blessed to be stressed.

Did you know that massages release serotonin which is a happy hormone. Well now you know. Going to the spa will make you feel better so know you don’t need an excuse because you absolutely NEED a spa day. Your body will thank you.

Tip: A good rule of thumb is if you love your service don’t forget to tip and thank your technician or masseuse for a job well done.

Next time your feeling under the weather, enjoy a spa day!

Just in case your not a frequent spa goer and aren’t sure what to pack, don’t trip I got you covered.

Here’s what to pack:

1. Cellphone (don’t forget to download your favorite playlist or audiobook)

2. Charger

3. Sunscreen

4. Robe if you don’t want to rent theirs or coverup

5. Personal water bottle

6. Favorite face masks or creams

7. Shades

8. Journal and something to write with

9. A swim suit you don’t mind getting dirty

10. Flip flops

11. Change of clothes for the trip home because it might be cold on your way home

12. Deodorant

13. Earphones

Also, Glen Ivy has thought of everything. Don’t worry about bringing basic toiletries, such as, shampoo, lotion and soap. (A few less things you have to pack).

Spas are my go to for relaxation and self-care. I wish I had time to go more often. The only part that sucks is when it’s time to drive home after your all relaxed. Instead afterwards hopping in bed and catching some sleep I have to make a two hour drive down the highway back to San Diego. Although, that’s the downside I will continue to comeback for more wellness escapes. It’s always the break I need to let myself relax.

Share this article so that every knows how good of a treat Glen Ivy Hot Springs is. If you’ve never been make sure it’s on your things to do ASAP you’ll enjoy it.

All of us are 1 year postpartum
Dopest mom squad you know

5 Tips For Work-Life Balance

Do you ever feel like your struggling with work-life balance? You don’t have to be. I have 5 tips to help you balance your personal and work life. If your a working mom like me, maintaining a healthy work-life balance is crucial for your mental health and physical health. It helps prevent stress and burn out so you can connect with what matters the most to you, your family.

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BTW Stretch Marks Are Beautiful

Wear your stripes, your lines with pride. At this point I feel like my stretch marks are apart of me. I’ve earned these stripes in birthing 3 beautiful babies and I except every single imperfection. I’m beautiful just the way I am and you are beautiful just the way you are, stretch marks, incision scars, little pouch, mommy rolls, sagging tits and all.

Stretch marks are so common during pregnancy that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Even that little bit of extra skin around your tummy is to be expected. I feel like its a milestone saying welcome to womanhood because real women have stretch marks on their breast, thighs, lower back and sometimes on their arms and that’s even before having children. I say no matter where you have them embrace them. Someone out there sees your body as their dream body.

I don’t agree with going under the knife unless you absolutely need to. I see so many girls getting new bodies and if they are happy I’m happy for them, but that will never be an option to me. I won’t let social media and this idea of being perfect hype me up. Being vain could essentially cost you your life and that’s not a risk I’m willing to take at this moment so I’ll just leave my stretch marks alone.

To me that’s nothing to play with. It’s never that serious but if it is for you know that you are enough before and after any surgery. As a mom know that your body represents how amazingly strong you are. That SnapBack that you see and wish you had 9xs out of 10 is fake. That girl on IG is sucking in her stomach and has been practicing in the mirror for hours to get her angles just right. That, or she may not be showing you that she’s on a strict diet or using some weight loss supplement. Majority only posts their wins not their reality. In reality no ones loosing their baby weight in a month.

Even with a waist trainer it still takes time. If you treat your body right you can get there but if you never get to your pre babies weight it isn’t the end of the world. Just don’t set yourself up for failure comparing your journey to someone else’s. Life in the postpartum period is uncomfortable for everyone because so much change is occurring to your body but remain body positive. Love the skin your in because God makes no mistakes. YOU ARE PERFECT. He beautifully crafted you to bare those beautiful babies. That’s the blessing.

Most men think our stripes are sexy af. That’s the type of grown ass man that you should have in your life. One that loves all of you and understands the beauty in housing children. Some women aren’t so lucky. You should feel thankful God chose you to be a mother. I know am and that’s why I wear bikinis and you can’t tell me I’m not cute with my mom bod. I’m proud of my body and its ability to stretch itself in ways that allowed me to birth 3 healthy babies.

So those little imperfections I used to worry about I’ve worked hard to except. Without them I wouldn’t have my children. Some of y’all are going to look at me and think why does she have insecurities she’s so small but we all have flaws. I’ve breastfed three babies and my boobs have gotten smaller every time. I rubbed cocoa butter on my stomach all day while pregnant and I don’t have stretch marks on my stomach but I have them on my thighs. My stomachs squishy, my arms are huge and I have dimples on my thighs. I could keep poking at myself but I won’t. I choose to focus on the things I do like about myself.

My curves are the new me. They are apart of my transformation. So instead of tearing myself down. I’m going on a journey of building myself up. Getting myself out of the mindset that my waist should be snatched and my edges should always be laid. I am not perfect and I don’t care to be. I’m a mom of three and I think I look good with a little extra weight on me. My spirit is pure and my kids love me. That’s what’s important.

My mom body goals is just to be strong, confident and healthy.

Feeling insecure about your body takes away from the beauty of motherhood. Those scars represent love and life, so don’t you ever feel bad about them. Appreciate yourself and show yourself more love momma. Strut yo shit!

#strechmarksonfleek

#soreal

#bodypositive

#selflove

#Unapologeticallyme

The 10th Annual Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic

On Saturday, October 5th, 2919 I attended the 10th annual Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic. I absolutely enjoyed this dope event. I enjoyed a day of being a Boujee milf with my extra’d ass friends. We sipped Veuve Cliquot champagne, ate fancy cheeses and mingled with the most stylish guys and dolls at Will Rodgers State Historic Park.

Polo matches are typically a drag to me but the perfect backdrop on a gorgeous day filled with lots of champagne, fashion and fun. I played life size board games, met fabulous people, took lots of pictures while the deejay played all the jams.

If your like me and never attended an event of this nature you definitely want to be prepared and know what to expect. So I’ve created a little guide and I hope this helps if you’re planning to attend next year.

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5 Ways To Help A New Mom

Who else is constantly seeing pregnancy or birth announcements all up and down their timeline? Just about everyday a new baby is born or on its way. I just want to say Yayyyy to ALL the moms to be! I’m so excited for all you mother-to-be’s (whether your a first time mom or veteran mom expanding your family), Congrats!

Not only does pregnancy bring tons of hormonal changes but let be honest shit is never the same once you become a mother. Adapting to your new normal is definitely a process. 80% of moms tend to feel overwhelmed and can use your help even if they don’t want to admit it. If your not pregnant but apart of the village and excited, here’s how you can make moms life a little easier after she’s had her baby. Here are some ways you can help out.

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Is Breastfeeding For You?

Liquid gold, momma’s milk whatever you choose to call breast milk is God’s gift to babies. It’s really all a baby needs- a whole meal all in one but is breastfeeding for you?

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Money Saving Secret

Paying with cash will help you save money and with the money you save you can invest back into yourself. Whether that’s to take a class to develop your craft more, purchase more tools to grow your business, meet a personal financial goal, or save for a vacation. You’ll be surprised what you can achieve financially when you plan with a purpose, execute and put your money in areas that will bring you abundance.

“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.”

-Dave Ramsey

On a quest to save money to fund my dream wedding I learned about the cash envelope system. The key of the envelope system is to budget your money using envelopes for different categories of your household expenses. It forces you to accurately budget your expenses every month and stop overspending.

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The 34 Flaunt

Happy birthday to me!

I thank God for blessing me to see 34.

I feel like my thirty’s have been good to me and every storm that I went through was good for me. It made me the confident resilient women you see today.

Let me explain… in the last 4 years I’ve grown so much.

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How To Make Milksicles

Teething is a normal part of a baby’s development when their baby teeth are in the process of erupting. It typically occurs from 6-24 months of age and trust me you will know.

During this time your child will most likely experience discomfort due to tender and swollen gums, become irritable, go through tons of bibs from drooling, and try to bite on any and everything to relieve the pain. Oh and lots of crying.

Teething is a stressful time for you and your baby as you struggle to find ways to relieve their pain but thanks to one mom named Tasia Blackwell (same name gang 💁🏾‍♀️ so I like her already) who invented Milksicles there’s a solution to this challenge.

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